i have not found it yet
the light that shines over my head
from a far i know i have seen it
but my heart and soul is still wounded

i want to get out of this misery
that satiates the darkness within me
but where do i get strength?
where do i begin?

i trust the powerful,
i know i have hope
but my wounded soul is still
heavy with the untold

Because the lack of faith,
Because I have nothing to offer
Because I think i'm not enough
Because it's always been like that

Chances are given generously,
The fibers of me are aware,
But there's a soul, deep within,
That's pulling down  into the abyss

And it's just the other part of me,
Another color of my heart
With different shades of gray
Lifeless and always crying.

It's too soon for me to think,
Too soon to accept things,
Too soon to get hurt,
Too soon to fall down...

Too soon to fail myself.
Nothing's ever enough,
For a heart like mine,
With stabbed septum.

i saw you today,
all facts became clear
the same as hopes faded out

i wanna dig deep
but there's a hard rock beneath
and covers every possibilities

roses and tulips are waiting
but time transcribes them to death
and waiting, anymore cannot be an option

i've cried a thousand opportunities
got back up, and did it all over again
you must say, i never learn

there's a barrier
never been over the edge
always hopelessly dreaming

it seems to never end
this strife, i've been masking over
with rainbows made up of damage

it's always cold and weary
to the billion sources of your life
it feels heavy and it's dumping
the limited possibility to turn on your light

but oh, what sight that is,
for it to draw that big smile on your face,
that gives life to everything that is around you,
for your cheeks to glow bright red
your heart to beat faster than normal,

and now You long for his smile,
the perfect smile that matches up to
the lightness and positivity, inside you.

the very first scar made,
was a sign of life,
a sign of courage, they say

they became a hand full
'til it's all over,
weakening every bit of life

but i am not of infinite,
i am not a rock,
im a glass, i am tears

i let myself drown
with edges of pain
and fall apart, however whole

it's bound to last i know
this happiness that hasn't yet even started
clouded up inside my head
oh how funny the things you are hopeful about

he's not within reach
even if it looks like he is
your worlds do not match
chances are just dreams

sleep if you wish
and never wake up from the dream

the pain i feel all the time,
the sadness it carries with,
are all what's composed of me right now

im tired of trying
tired of being strong
tired of putting this mask on

and unveil it to someone
who does not really know
and understand, any element of it