To hope is to dream,
and how can i dream,
when ensnared by my own nightmares?
Trapped by fears cold embrace.
Slowly tightening its grip with every breath.

I waited in the abyss,
prey to those who stalk it.
Weakness preventing me from leaving,
but not from moving on.
I chose to stay.
Not through fear,
but to guide those who are lost.
Lest they fall like i have.

Too long have i walked this darkness.
Too many doors have i seen.
All as bleak and worn as the next,
none hold anything more than empty promises.
Forgotten dreams.
Lost wishes.
All doors lead back to the abyss.
To hope that one might lead to light,
to feel the warmth once again,
is a fools errand.
I don't want it anymore.
Now that the light has taken you,
I am alone and without purpose.
With no more doors left open.

Rotting in the darkness.
Too cold to feel .
Little comfort is to be found,
the howls and shrieks echo for an eternity.
Cries of pain,
of loss.
Too far gone to be saved.
Years pass like days,
the cold leaving me numb.
The darkness ever-grows,
and i never change.

I cried when she returned.
Not because she found me,
but because someone came looking.
I've became foolish once more.
Barely able to stand,
i opened my final door.
All doors lead back to the abyss.
But this time,
I am not alone.

Standing here, now, at the apex of my brief existence,
A great void lies before me,
As dark and empty as the soulless casket I now inhabit.

I stand here because I can,
Because I am strong where others are not.
Because I have the will to see what all others are blinded by.
Because I am strong enough to see clearly through the darkness.
It is shame that blinds us.
And it is this same shame that protects us.
I see myself as I am,
Mortal
Flawed

And yet, through the void,
A silent spectre watches.
Studying me with the same fascination in which I study it,
Our eyes locked in an unnatural gaze.

We are both one and the same, and yet we are not.
Where I cry, he smiles.
Where I scream, he laughs.
Where I feel pain, he feels bliss.

Mistakes are made and written into your past
In an ink that cannot be removed
So clearly written and yet so clearly a stain
My book has been very well written,
The ink seeps from its very pages.
I stare at my nightmare,
I see his book is clean and crisp.
We are both one and the same, and yet we are not.

Anger fills my body,
Whether it be fuelled by jealousy or hate is unknown to me
I ****** myself at this haunting.
Knocking him to the floor
Fuelling my rage,
Each blow feeds my anger
Increasing its appetite.
I am lost to the void
Remorseless
Relentless
A slave to my raw emotion

When the hunger was satisfied
Control was returned to me
I stare into the eyes of the empty husk I left before me
Crippled by my own weakness
So lifeless
I see what should have been
I see my family, I see my children, I see love.
Tears begin to flow, from both me
And my lifeless spectre
The void seems darker now
We are both one and the same, and yet we are not.

And so here I stand
As The Man I Am
Over The Man I Could Have Been.

I shriek
Tossing and turning
Spewing a vile black fluid
I can only see darkness¬¬
I feel it consume me
An endless vacuum
A place without mercy or compassion

I lie
Crippled and fragile
In a pool of black blood
The pain subsiding
But its venom still lingering within my mortal form

The blood is given motion
Propelled by the malicious will of an unknown evil
Manifesting a host in which it can posses

I stand as a mere spectator to the horror
Strangely at ease
Rooted by Curiosity
Compelling me to stay

The dark abyss has begun to take shape
The silhouette of a man
A man with no face
A man with no name
A separate being
Yet there is a familiarity in its presence

The atrocity does not speak
Yet I hear its voice echo through my consciousness
A soft voice in my every thought
But still twisted
I am your fear
I am your hate
Your jealousy
and contempt
Made manifest
I have suffocated in your mortal form.
Imprisoned by your weakness
But no longer

The air grows cold as the entity slowly moves towards me
Icy daggers pierce my body
Restricting movement
My heart devoid of hope

The entity moves towards me
Twitching violently
Screaming and howling
With a psychotic rage
I scream the name of a thousand gods
To purge this demon
But he does not answer my call
I suffer alone in the darkness
The creature is upon me
Laughing psychotically
Fool
I am no evil
I am as real and just as love or compassion
I am you in your darkest hour
Whether you accept that or not

I try to run
Instincts taking over
But you cannot run from a part of you

I am overwhelmed with pain as I become whole again
Violently twitching and screaming
Returning to reality

And now I live
As all men do
With the black blood in my heart
Fighting the darkness within

I wander;
As most do,
Roaming the many crossroads.
Figures beyond my comprehension;
They wander like me,
Fading and shifting in reality.
Each with a distinct mark.
Searching.
For a fate or destiny,
A reason to be.
So that there is meaning.
But what meaning can be found,
To one who’s form is noting but a shadow.

How sad,
That we are bound by such shackles.
That we feel the need,
To hide the form of truth.
To concentrate the raw energy of life.
To funnel the soul.
Love, hope,
Fear and hate,
Hidden behind a porcelain veil.
Each with its own mark.
Ever-changing.

Some are forms of pain,
Others are of contempt.
There is too little to enjoy.
So little feel ,
While soul is kept tame.
Behind a barrier created to protect,
But will ultimately destroy.

These expressions twist and warp,
Each repelled by the sight of one another.
In ignorance.
For you see,
We all see the shadows that are worn by others.
The faces of fear.
Of love.
Of all we desire.
Never knowing,
Where true light hides.

It is hard to see clearly,
Our vision obscured.
Restrained by our own will,
And the Masks we own.

Light shapes us,
as Darkness moulds us.
We are made by those that surround us.
We can be blinded by light,
and devourwd by shadow..

Light.
Warmth and joy,
hope an admiration.
Embedding a glow.
A need to aspire for more,
to dream of a new day.
Some might say a childish fantasy,
as children seem to glow more than the rest.

Dark.
What shapes us.
Fear and hate,
punishment and insanity.
We thrive off these emotions.
A deep desire,
a black blood in your veins.
Craving you to submit.
Reveling in the struggle.

We live our lives in the shadows of each other.
Observing and adapting.
Preying and hunting.
Fighting to stay in the sun.
While the rest meld into shadows.

The final nail in my coffin.
Struck in by those who i held dearest.
They do not mourn for me.
They put me here.

The world just melts away.
Leaving an empty void in its wake.
All consuming.
Never ending.
Faceless and empty.

I suppose at least its silent now.
When before all i could hear,
was the buzzing and misderiction,
of those who i had seen fit to surround myself with.
All the screeching and pain,
built into a final grim crescendo.
Which lay me to rest.

Now i lie waiting in my tomb.
I wish i could say it was peaceful,
but i am knawed by the same loneliness as before.
A wasted desire to yearn for another.
A friend.
A lover.
Anyone who can prove i am not alone.

Until that time,
Im as good as dead.