Two girls two hearts two different lives
I do not want to break any hearts
I do not want to ruin any lives
I can't say one is better than the other
But I know I love one more than the other
They both have my heart but I can only have one
Trying to do without my selfish ways but
All I can do is think about myself today
I want to say **** love but I need love
I need her love I need their love
I am lost because I can only have one
I am not one to break a young woman's heart
Things get real and one has to break apart
It is not just one heart but both our hearts breaking apart
I am not very smart when it comes to this thing called love
I use to play hard but I know I just fall hard

It's a sick love affair
An abusive relationship I ******* beat her
It never fails she is always there
Telling me begging me saying babie just one more won't hurt
But it does I should have known better
Most call it alcohol but she calls me her one love
Just like the bob marley song
I rather smoke a blunt but she insists I have another shot
I take her by the handle
I put my thirsty lips to the bottle
Down goes another
She has me ****** up because in the morning my head pounds
A sick love affair my girlfriend can't stand her
She becomes upset when she catches us together
She is my other lover but I'm trying to end it with her
Both jealous of each other
I know who I want and its not the bottle
I use to love her but I can not any longer
**** that love affair
I want my real love sober and alert
Tired of those foggy mornings
Wondering how I got home
Too scared to answer my phone
I rather hide behind close doors
I want to be done with those
**** that love affair I am telling her its over

Next month its my good friend muddbutt's death anniversary
I remember when I first met him
What a first great impression
With each passing visit he became a closer friend
From a brother to the end
He is now an angel flying in the heavens
A victim to a gruesome hit and run
He was taken before his time was up
But in this life god takes god gives
I hate to question why
Never any answers only tears in my eyes
They say not to stand at their grave and cry
We had lots of good times
Swimming at red rock diving off rocks
Hitting up girls to come and hang out
He was always one for an adventure
I miss him everyday and I wish we had time for one more muddbutt adventure

I skated, i went fast I went hard
I went crashing I was pretty ******* intoxicated
I thought I would get a drunk in public
I ate **** at the intersection
A lost drunken cause
Road rash and scars
Each one has a story of its own
I'm becoming grown
But I'm still that same kid they have always known
I'm a little older but I can't say I have gotten any wiser
Drunken and scarred
One look at me and you would think I've lived a thousand lives
I've seen too much in my lifetime
Dead bodies in river beds
Who is responsible for a homeless man found dead?
Society doesn't care I guess nature did them a favor
I was almost lost to a speeding car in the dark
Under the tires I went screeching brakes
I made out alive and here I am living on borrowed time

My best thoughts open doors
While my worse thoughts shut them trapping me inside
Il take the light il take the dark
On cloudy days I beg to be numb
When it does occur
The empty numb feeling swallows me whole
I am quick to cry an ask to feel something more
I do not want to be numb because
My best thoughts open doors
The light pours in and I can feel the rays of the sun kiss my skin

Too many secrets to whisper into your wondering ear
Best stored away behind sealed lips
I promised I would never tell

I grew up knowing I was different from the rest
As far back as I could remember
I knew I couldn't change it
I knew I wouldn't change it
I accepted who I was who I would be
That from the beginning mattered most
Everyone else's approval would have to wait
One look at my appearance said it all
It was never very well hidden
A contributing factor for when I finally said it
It came easy like a ***** roar
I came out and stood out
I would forever be proud