In the past, I did my fair share of twisting the glass pipe in between my ***** fingertips
Countless bottles pressed to my cracked red lips
White lines disappearing into rolled up hundred dollar bills
I swallowed nameless pills
But you know what, **** those thrills
Nothing but cold sweats and body aches
Headache kills
Disease filled vices I thought I needed to help me get through the crisis

Instead of focusing on the negative aspects of my existence,
Why not highlight the positive?
I have a good paying career that I continue to strive in.
I have a warm safe place to rest my head.
I share a home with a young woman very dear to my heart.
I am well taken care of by her.
I have food I have a car I have clothes and fair health.
What more do I acquire? It seems sufficient enough.
I am not mean spirited I am not cruel to others.
I treat others with respect.
I am caring and compassionate.
I have friends that love me family that loves me.
I have a dog who adores and loves me unconditionally.
There is large amounts of goodness I overlook because
I am too focused on the bad.
It is easy to lose yourself in the darkness but
There is always a flickering light to show us the way back.

All my tears are gone and all my thoughts are lost
This is me turning numb
I am not a failure but life has failed me
Mentally drained emotionally rotten
There is nothing left of me
I desperately want to be forever happy
But unfortunately for me happiness is only temporary
I am physically free but my mind remains a prisoner of misery
She must enjoy my company because she is never without me

My heart is heavy with emptiness
I can't promise her change I was born with defects
to save her the grief I told her I won't stay
Why put ourselves through this awful game
It's not that I don't love her but I always hurt the ones I love
I rather not waste her time and make her cry
I'm not worth it and only I know it

She danced outside under the light of summers full moon
Her majestic body slowly swaying to the soft music playing on her old kitchen radio
Her bare feet in the grass and the earths damp soil in between her paint chipped toes
Beads of sweat formed and trickled down her beautiful brown face
A gentle breeze swept through the summer night and through her flower patterned dress
What a lovely sight for sore eyes
A fallen angel from heavens grace dancing to the soft music playing on the old kitchen radio
Adored by all she had not a care in the world