He leans back
Cracks open a beer
Watching the girl be loves spin around
With his beautiful 5 year old daughter
The sun is out
The grass is green
There's a football game on in the background
He takes it all in, memory by memory
And he mutters
**"It's a helluva life"

She thought he was everything.
A lover
A friend
A protector
A secret keeper
She loved him with her whole heart.
She never imagined that he would leave it in pieces.
She gave him all that she was as a person, expecting him to treasure her.
But he didn't care.
He never cared.
It was all a big game.
He lied
He cheated
He took her for granted.
It wasn't until 2 years after she dropped everything for him that she found out he wasn't loyal.
She discovered his lies
She cried and cried and cried.
He didn't beg her to stay
Didn't tell her he loved her
She felt like a fool for playing his game
So she left
And started a new life
Better
Stronger
She's putting her pieces back together, one by one.

She was witty
Outgoing
Intelligent
Some might even call her silly.
She was a friend
A leader
A role model
A lover.
She was a people pleaser
Wished for the good of everyone.
But she only had one problem.

She had a secret.

It was no small secret.
It haunted her.
Every day
Every night
Every time she relaxed.
She couldn't escape it
Though she tried.
It was her past, and who can run from their past?

Nobody knew.
Not even her parents
Or friends
Or teachers
Or anyone who could help her.
She refused to tell because it was humiliating
But she couldn't help that it happened to her.
She lost her trust
Her sense of security
All within 15 minutes.

She was young
Didn't know any better
She followed him like a dog
He had lured her in and abused her.
Sexually and physically.
She ran home crying, but no one was there.
Not a person she could tell
Not a person who could soothe her.

And as she grew older, she finally began to understand the horrid experience she had been through.

Now she holds scars.
Physically and emotionally
But those very scars are what make her stronger every single day.
She refused to let some abusive pervert ruin her life
And she moved on
Lived on
Didn't let that stop her from being the beautiful strong woman she is today.

Promise me you'll never leave.

I remember when I said that. I made him promise from the bottom of his heart that he was mine forever. And he made that promise.

So much for keeping it.

All I can see now is his face and the slamming of the door that he walked out of.
He left me, heartbroken and deserted, with no one to look after me, no one to care for me.

He knew I was young. He knew that I would be more affected by a break-up than his normal girlfriends.

But he was experimenting.
He didn't care what happened to me to begin with.
He never wanted to be with me
He just wanted to be with someone younger.
A lot younger.

I lost everything when he left.
My pride
My sense of security
My trust
Now what am I left with? A box full of pictures, several of his old t-shirts, and a lifetime of demolished memories.

They  always said first heartbreaks are the worst, but I never expected this.

I'm learning, day by day, how to put one foot I front of the other again. It's not easy, but I'm making progress.

I just hope that he doesn't try to walk his way right back into my life.

Cuz I'm scared I  might be stupid enough to fall right back for him again.

You always told me you wanted the best. The best food, the best clothes, the best house, and you always said I was the best guy.

But what if that wasn't enough? What if one day you woke up and realized you could do better? I never thought that day would come, until it did.

You caught me completely off guard when you said it.
I'm not happy.
I had done everything in my power to prevent you from ever thinking those words, but now, it can't be taken back.

So now you'll go off exploring the world, like you always wanted to do.
And I'll still be here, reminiscing the times we spent together.
You'll move to Paris, or Greece, or some romantic city, and you'll become a writer, putting your dreams down in words.
I'll decide to be a construction worker, because I've never had any real talent for anything besides simple jobs.
You'll get into all these social events and parties and tell yourself that this is what you want.
And I'll travel, meeting all sorts of women, all while constructing buildings.
You'll get your heart broken by some Greek speaking player who never really loved you.
I'll have a different lover each night.
And you'll decide to come back to America where you want to find your long lost love from so long ago.
I'll remember the girl I fell for when I knew what love was.
Maybe we'll meet somewhere down the road. Maybe not.

But now I'm still trying to convince you to change your mind about leaving.

I'm not saying you're perfect, and I know that I'm far from it, but maybe if you stayed, and I learned how to keep you happy, maybe we could fall in love all over again.

The best kind of love, just like what you always wanted.