Where are you daddy?
Mommy won't stop crying.
I hear her at night.
She says she's alright.
But I can tell she's losing the fight.

Where are you daddy?
I can't sleep now.
You haven't told me the story about the little cow.
Mommy tries her best.
She starts off good.
But she can never remember the rest.

Where are you daddy?
I sit by the window everyday.
Just hoping you'll come home one day and stay.
I cry when I realize you won't show up.
I cry so hard, mommy's afraid I'll throw up.            

Where are you daddy?
Why did you leave us all alone?
Without you, this house doesn't feel like a home.
It feels like something's out of place.
Maybe it's your missing face.

Where are you daddy?
You weren't there to kiss me goodbye on my first day of school.
You weren't there to teach me to swim in the pool.
You weren't there to see me ride a bike.
You weren't there to see me fly my first kite.
Mommy was there for those things.
When you left, she became the wind beneath my wings.

Where are you daddy?
I need you to tuck me in at night.
I need you to turn on my night-light.
I need you to leave the door cracked, some light shining through.
I need you to scare away any monsters that might say "Boo!"
You can’t do those things daddy, because you're not here and I don't know where your at.
If you can hear me, wherever you are, I only ask one thing: Please come back.

I waste my time with you, everyday with you
Enraptured in this sin that we've been hiding in
Years go by with us pretending
Our connection we keep defending
And in the denial we become consumed
I waste my life with you

Sweet day, so cool, so calm, so bright!
The bridal of the earth and sky—
The dew shall weep thy fall to-night;
      For thou must die.

Sweet rose, whose hue angry and brave
Bids the rash gazer wipe his eye,
Thy root is ever in its grave,
      And thou must die.

Sweet spring, full of sweet days and roses,
A box where sweets compacted lie,
My music shows ye have your closes,
      And all must die.

Only a sweet and virtuous soul,
Like season’d timber, never gives;
But though the whole world turn to coal,
      Then chiefly lives.

"I wish I hadn't done it."

The stale, freezing wind dries my lungs
and I feel how hollow my body is
lacking the comfort of your arms.

"The reason I want to act like things are normal,
is because I wish they were."

Your final words nip at my skin
along with the icy breeze
through my cracked window.

"I'm sorry that it had to come to this."

My breaths are shallow and abrupt
this season, and they match how I felt
when we said goodbye
for the final time.

"Live long. Happy."


                                                                                                                                    *CVT

little dark girl with
kind eyes
when it comes time to
use the knife
I won't flinch and
i won't blame
you,
as I drive along the shore alone
as the palms wave,
the ugly heavy palms,
as the living does not arrive
as the dead do not leave,
i won't blame you,
instead
i will remember the kisses
our lips raw with love
and how you gave me
everything you had
and how I
offered you what was left of
me,
and I will remember your small room
the feel of you
the light in the window
your records
your books
our morning coffee
our noons our nights
our bodies spilled together
sleeping
the tiny flowing currents
immediate and forever
your leg my leg
your arm my arm
your smile and the warmth
of you
who made me laugh
again.
little dark girl with kind eyes
you have no
knife. the knife is
mine and i won't use it
yet.

I want to be loved
even when I
talk too loud
or curse in public.
I want to
have someone
to come home to
who will touch my cheek
and tell me
"I've missed you."
And I think love is
knowing how damaged
someone is
but sticking around
to make sure they're fixed,
and I need someone to
stick around for me.