I see how I never really wanted you.
My greater want was simply need.
I was so caught up in grieving,
dying inside, with my heart bleeding.
So deficient, desperate for touch,
and you were the closest thing.
Though you far away and distant,
spoke words beguiling, so soothing.
Calming the dark storm,
brewing inside of me.
I tempest, tossed and torn,
bereft with such great need.
It's taken such a long time to see
you were not what I supposed you to be.
I blinded by darkness and simple greed,
wore pain cloaked about my heart deceived.
So how do I take these steps alone?
Not feeling wiser, but older indeed.
Longing still in my heart for what was,
ambling along, taking pause.
Folding my arms in a tight embrace,
I release a sigh for this lost cause.
Remembering his winsome sweet face.
Pining for a love now erased.
Why does grieving take the lead,
when one is left in broken need?
How can a story continue
when life seems like an endless storm?
Awakening at dawn still feeling torn.
Drawing a deep and cleansing breath,
knowing I must begin anew.
But then my thoughts return to you,
and momentarily I feel renewed.