Depression? Psh so what. But in a way depression is silent. It attacks the mind, body, and soul. It doesn't matter who you are or if you're famous or not. Depression can strike anyone at anytime when you least expect it. It will never leave your side. It'll never let you rest, smile, laugh or be happy. It sticks to you like the way glue sticks to paper. You know that it's there but you really can't do anything about it. It attacks you in many ways. Whether it be a bad breakup, seeing someone you love or care about with another person, not being able to see the ones that you love and know. You're in a hopeless spiral and waves of emotions are crashing all around you as you try to swim away from it all but it keeps pulling you back in in a mindless and endless void of darkness. You try to find your way through it but you have no light to guide you. You frantically search around for something to hold onto of find some sort of light in the darkness. As you are walking you're finding it hard to take the next step. You're slowly sinking in the darkness screaming out for help but no one comes to your rescue. You continue to scream as your face is now in the dark void and you start falling. As you fall you start to think of those that have helped you but then you also think of those that abandoned you. Your eyes start to tear up and swell and you start to believe that no one would be there to catch you. There is no one that'll help you out in your times of need and when you want to say something or cry out for help, you're afraid to even do it because you don't know how people will react or what they will say. It's all up to you and how you even say it. They could leave you or they would understand and help you through it. But you're still scared out of your mind because they could turn their backs on you and tell you to ***** off or make you leave them alone for a long time because of what you have said to them. You then have no one to count on anymore. You start to go to therapy for your depression and you tell them what you have done and that you want the pain to stop. They always say to you though that everything will be alright and that things will get better over time and that you just have to wait for that time to come. After a while you start coming to the conclusion that nothing good will come to you anymore. You lock yourself away hiding from the world around you. You become a total shut in secluding yourself in your own comfort zone but you find that you are still lonely and that the depression is weighing you down. It's making you carry it with you where ever you go making sure that you are always in a bind and making sure that you can't get out of it even if you'd try to. Depression is a silent killer. It can strike you at anytime and at any place. There is no running from it even if your in therapy or taking pills for it. It'll still attack you no matter what and when it does, you'll want to give up on everything and everyone. it's just a matter of time.

The fire is spreading. The Earth will burn by the solar flares of the sun. Buildings collapse and there’s destruction all around. The sound of explosions roar all around the Earth and then after the mayhem is over and there are small fires spreading around. There is ash and smoke hovering in the air as the wind blows over the ground. There are no survivors. There was nothing but death and destruction for everyone that was once alive. What has happen to the world you may ask. It sounds a lot apocalyptic and that’s because it is. The fire twists and turns spreading its destruction all around.

(This poem doesn't belong to me. The rightful owner is the author Darren Shan who wrote the Demonata and the Cirque du Freak book series. This poem is from his first book of the Demonata book series: Lord Loss.)

Lord loss sows all the sorrows of the world, lord loss seeds the grief starched trees

In the center  of the web lowly lord loss bows his head

Mangled hands, naked eyes
Fanged snakes his soul line
Curled inside like texture sin
****** curdle sheets for skin

In the center of the web vile lord loss torments the dead
Over strands of red, lord loss crawls
Dispensing pain, despising all
Shuns friends, nurtures foes
Ravages hope, breeds woe
Drinks moons, devours suns
Twirls his thumbs till the reaper comes

In the center of the web Lush Lord Loss is all that is left.

To live the life that we want is God's way of being cruel for we must earn that way of life. It is said that to love the one we care for the most we must be able to make sacrifices. We are suppose to be created in his image but we alter it constantly. In order to love we must as well love ourselves first. How can we love someone who is taken? How can you love yourself in the first place? How can we accept the fact that they won't love you or say "sorry but you're not my type." Or even "I'm not gay." Humanity is constantly being the same way that we've been for hundreds of years. We try to venture out from the norm but it keeps trying to pull us back in. Society tries to change but it pulled back by those that want it to stay the way it is. We can't learn to love ourselves so we try and have others do it for us. We rely of the concept that there is your soulmate somewhere on this little blue planet in this vast galaxy. We say that they were hmm orn in the wrong time period and that they're not alive anymore or that they haven't been born yet. What if you're destin to be by your own side forever in time until you find you're soulmate in the next life. But what if you're alone yet again with no one to love you for who you are? You find that you're in a depressive state that you can't seem to get out of. You've told yourself that you've loved before and you'll find love again. But you then realize how fast that love was taken away from you. How the person that you care about loves someone else. You don't care about *** at all. You just want to come up behind that person, wrap your arms around them and relax you body while saying that you love them and you just want to be held by them. You want your hair played with and you want the occasional kiss or two on the lips. Soft and warm. You smile at this thought over and over until you realize that it'll never happen or come true. You're eyes swell up and you can feel and see the tears forming. Falling to your knees you cry your eyes out and scream at the top of your lungs when all of a sudden you feel a hand on your shoulder. You look around and find someone there who's having the same problems as you are. He/she stands you up and embrasses you in a warm and loving hug. You calm down and lay your head on that person's shoulders then all of a sudden you find yourself in darkness. You hear the sound of a fan going and also blowing on you. You look around and find that you are in your bedroom. You failed to realize that last moment was only a dream. A dream that you've drempt before but still affected by it. You silently cry as you stand from your bed and turn on the lights. You're not ready for the new day that's come to play but you must because you have to live your life over and over and them the days are merging together and you find yourself stuck in an infanent loop. The same day and thing over and over again. You can't do anything though because it's the norm that you're doing. You've failed to venture out from it and now you're doomed to repeat it forever and always no matter what you do because now you are like the others. Because you've failed to venture so now you must survive the best you can do before you die.

(This poem is not my work. The Original author of this poem belongs to Joanetta Hendel. This poem reflects on how I feel when I lose someone that is close to me. Whether it be a friend, family member, or a pet that you once held dear to you.)

Don’t tell me that you understand,
don’t tell me that you know.
Don’t tell me that I will survive,
how I will surely grow.

Don’t tell me this is just a test,
that I am truly blessed,
that I am chosen for this task,
apart from all the rest.

Don’t come at me with answers
that can only come from me,
don’t tell me how my grief will pass,
that I will soon be free.

Don’t stand in pious judgment
of the bonds I must untie,
don’t tell me how to suffer,
and don’t tell me how to cry.

My life is filled with selfishness,
my pain is all I see,
but I need you, I need your love,
unconditionally.

Accept me in my ups and downs,
I need someone to share,
just hold my hand and let me cry,
and say, “My friend, I care.”

My shadow looks at me with its blank, lifeless eyes as it fills the ground around me to the point that it doesn't even look like me anymore and every time I move, it gets even more sinister and disturbing.
My shadow is like the lifeless void that is in my heart.
A wide grin forms on my shadow scaring me sending chills from head to toe down my spine. It then slowly talks and says: "I am you now." My shadow protrudes from the ground. It looks at me as speaks in a soft voice: "My word is my law and my law you have broken. By telling about me and my life we shall make your nightmares come true." The darkness surrounds me and consumes my body making no light shine upon me.
I'm drowning in sorrow.
It is the sorrow that has haunted my nightmares constantly.
My life is over it has now ended and as my shadow takes my place, I hover in the pitch-black space.

Ode to the man that sails the seas, He is the captain of his vessel and his crew looks up to him.
He’s been on the ocean for years and years, he doesn’t know what his home looks like nor the love of his life.
He looks over the vast ocean trying to find land but there is none to be seen.
His hope starts to fade and his joy begins being laid.
Laid out for fate to take over.
His spirit weakens as he begins to think about his love and his life.
What has become of the man we don’t know, but as the time goes by many tell his story.
His story lives on in the hearts of all men and women.
It’s just how you look at the story and think,
Think about how this man lived.
Did he live like a king?
Did he live like the poor?
We shall never know for he has passed before he came home.
So ode to the man that sails the seas,
His life and legacy will live on forever more.
And ode to the one that he loved for he shall never see that person again until she dies and ascends to the heavens.
They were parted but then in the end, found each other once again.
So ode to the two lovers that once lived.
For they shall live forever on the other side and once they meet, they will never part again.
Never again for they are at an eternal rest.

You know.... Sometimes I feel scared... scared of life and the things to come... scared of being yelled at by someone, scared of hurting, heartbreaking, liking someone when you and that other are taken. What is life when you look at it? Is it light? Is it dark? Or is it something so scary that you hide away in your room. What ever it is I get scared of life... because I don't know what to do with it or what I’ll see...

Tis the lonely life we wish not to live.
But someday it cometh like a meteor in the dark starry night sky.
Tis the lonely life which some want to die.
Tis the lonely life in which some want to cry.
Tis the long life where it waits for thee to return.
Tis the feel of love that one wishes to have though sometimes doesn't stay.
But one day it'll cometh like a meteor in the dark starry night sky.
Thus cometh the life of love for one to hold.
Tis the lonely life a goodbye until the next time.
Tis a life worth living when she holds your heart.
Tis a life worth living when your love begins to start.
Tis a life worth living when your heart begins to flutter but then the life once worth living starts to fall apart and the love starts to die.
Tis a life not worth living when she leaves your side.
Tis a life not worth living when your stuck alone on such a lonely night.
When in such a night as lonely as this happens one starts to wonder:
"How must I live thy life in pain? In sorrow?"
Tis the life of a man who wishes to stay with his love.
Tis the life of a man who wishes not to be parted.
Thus the man looks at the high moon and wonders: "Tis not the life I wanted."
Thus the man falls to his knees and the earth crumbles around him.
Tis the man who wishes to die! Tis the man who breaks down cries!
The earth cracks and crumbles under his knees and thus he falls.
He falls and falls till he hits the floor. He is still alive.
He looks around him and sees nothing but the darkness.
The sounds of his past roars in his head from all around him.
Tis the man who is alone in the dark. Tis the man who did no harm!
Thus the man finds a ledge and starts to climb. And the sounds begin to die.
He fought and fought and gave all he got.
Tis the man who climbs high like a bird in the sky.
Thus the man gets out of the ground to find all around has burned down.
Thus the man began to cry and wanted to die.
Thus the man looked at the sky and saw the stars twinkling as far as the eye. A clash if thunder roared in his head when he saw his floor and his bed.
Tis the man who was asleep but doesn't know if its a memory he should keep.

As I walk through the falling snow I often wonder where I’ll go.
I find myself at your home and I see you sitting there all alone.
Through your window in your comfy chair I see your face lovely and fair.
Your smile is calming, your eyes are bright as you sit in the glow of the firelight.
I walk to the door and stare at the lock and I do wonder if I should knock.
My heart races as I stand there and think also frozen with fear I can’t even blink.
For some reason I cannot recall I knocked on your door and I heard your call,
“Coming” you said as you came to the door and I found myself not being able to move anymore.
You opened the door and greeted me with a smile then invited me in and asked to stay awhile.
I still couldn’t think but somehow said yes as you laughed and said I look like a mess.
I looked at you with a quizzical look then you brushed off the snow and hung my coat and hat on a hook.
I stood there pondering on what I should do when you looked at me and asked if I was stuck there like glue.
I came to my senses then in a flash I ran to you in a mad dash.
I embraced you close and held you tight as you asked if I was alright.
I looked up at you and expressed how I felt and as I was speaking my heart was starting to melt.
You looked in my eyes and gave off a smile and said that I’ve felt like this to for quite a while.
I felt my face blush as I saw your face flush.
My love for you will be strong and true as you love me like I love you.

What do you hear when you hear the word dark? A dark corridor, a dark room, or a dark street in the middle of the night? I believe the darkness is a scary place that hides things from everyone. Well when you think about it, you always feel like you’re being watched when you’re alone in the dark and you hear the whispers of voices all around you yet again there’s nothing there. You’re all alone with no place to go... you’re lost and scared of all your surroundings. Your senses will jumble up into millions off pieces and you will go crazy over it. If you remember anything I have told you today... that is to be on your guard, and observe your surroundings...

What is the light actually? People say that it is the most beautiful thing in the world. That it is warm, cuddling, and peaceful. But when you think about it, it can always be cruel, painful, and scary... Things in the light are not what you would normally see really. It’s not all fairies and rainbows or Angles in the sky. Sometimes the light can burn you and leave permanent scars all over your body and leaves you mentally damaged and you just want to go on a killing spree and just attack the people you dearly hate and despise and that’s when the darkness takes over your body and soul. Your mind just loses all control, your body becomes stronger yet it makes you more of a killing machine and you just want to ****... watch as the blood splatters everywhere organs and entrails everywhere and as soon as you start getting back in touch with reality, your mind won’t ever... go back to normal once you look at all the damage that has been done.

What is music one may say?
Is it to hear the sounds of the broken hearted and the soft sounds of love?
To think of those who have written before what we have now?
Or to hear the soft sounds of those who wish to express their feelings towards others?
What does music mean?
Does it mean to be sad?
Does it mean to be angry at something or someone?
What does it mean to listen to music?
People say that music calms the savage beast but does it really?
But what can music do for you?
Can it make you laugh?
Can it make you burst out into a joyous song?
Or can music make you see what is real and what is wrong?
Think of those who dwell in the past and they only had the voice of music.
They close their eyes and think back to the time where they once heard the most beautiful sound.
A sound that everyone wants to hear again.
The sound of music that can calm even the angriest man.
So I say again. What is music?
Music is hope and wonder that fills the hearts of little children.
Hearing them laugh and play while they sing songs of joy.
Of hope, and of peace and of wonder.
The adults may have forgotten what music means to them.
But in the eyes of a child, music means the most to them.
Why? Because music makes you think of those who rose and who fell.
The child learns about them and the music they created and they think that same question?
What is music? And what does it mean to me.

Through the fields and through the woods a little girl does goes.
Her feet trample through the sodden snow.
Like a wolf that howls and cries in the night, she whines for the chances for others to see.
To see the way the girl is like someone who sees the glistening blue sea that shines from the sun that is yellow as a bee.

She looks and looks for others in the barren land,
But everywhere she goes is filled with nothing but dirt and sand.
She views her surroundings for a certain someone that she can love.
But love can be a tricky thing because it can fly away like a snow-white dove.
To see is to be. And to be is like rebirth for ones soul.

The little girl can see for her heart is pure as gold.
She shines bright for others to see her but still no one can examine such beauty.
She cries silent and alone until a young boy sees her and lures over to the weeping girl.
He asks: "Why are you crying beautiful girl? You're too beautiful to cry for you are like an elm burl. "

She looks up at the boy with gleaming blue eyes.
She asks: "Why am I alone in this world? Why is everything a lie!?"
He looks at her with a deep sorrowful frown and bends down to cup her face.

He tells her that life is an ugly lie and death is the horrible truth.
She finally understood why life is like a lie but why did this little girl have to die?