try not to eat
dextrose demise
aisle retreat
effects you despise
advertising lies
temporary fix
fraudulent "fun size"
ice cream licks
pixie sticks
pumpkin pie
try trail mix!
empty calorie
sweet in short
appetite distort

child's pose, crumpled like a rough draft
can't curl up any tighter,
she burrows within her protective shell

she begs aloud for reprieve
from the air she breathes
the depths of her soul cry

sutured sadness manifests in untamed tears

the atmosphere is weighted;
with effort, she fill she fills her lungs
with life

silent, stagnant, stale.
permanent, powerless position
time won't stop; she falls behind

running in place, motion averted
the fight within her is gone
her whimpers interrupted --

with a knock

his arms, safe and secure,
gently lift her weary soul
dawn breaks

affections follow perfection
it's up to me

smooth out the kinks
fix the chips
show your teeth
don't twirl your locks
take off all those bracelets
you look silly
sit still
play this
read this
pray on Sunday
be happy
don't embarrass me
you used to be...
take AP
go out
mistakes aren't allowed
45.5861° N, 95.9139° W equals success
broken things make me yell
don't cry
work comes first
don't come home
you make things worse

Baffled by the beauty of grace,
I'm learning...
Love is not performance-based.

tiny, blue frame; dented and worn
weak whisper, fragile heart
means that allowed, a quiet trust to born
silent cries, a retrospect start

impossibly ignored, bold change
you first, a timely trade, pre-arranged
confident, commanding; one-eighty in stride
elated; awaiting the destination of this ride

feathr'y
flowy
fluffy
flouncy
floating in her feath'ry, flowy tutu
layered pink, fluffy, flouncy; sous-sous

His promises are true for you
Earthly strivings, they can cease
Mere mention of His name is peace
bid those lies adieu,
You have life in His name, too!
As His presence in my life increase,
He puts broken parts together, piece by piece
If in Him, you are a creation - new
Live in the words of the Resurrection
empowered to live by faith
think and believe are contradictory
Jesus loves you, no exception!
"His promises are true," I saith
In Him, we have victory!

wrap me gently
in the folds of your embrace
keep me safe
protect me from invading lies

enemies of insecurity
marauders of my solid foundation

from the gentle touch of my sensitive,
morning skin
to
the depths of my guarded,
bruised heart

you blanket me
safekeeping sanctuary

you insulate my broken shards
you restore a safe place
for me
to break
down

the warmth of your enveloping arms
the fullness I find in your hold
the love that sings me to sleep

with a soft smile hanging on my lips

quiet moment
still heart
dewy morning
lost art
expectant wait
learning patience
busy thoughts
His command
ponder beauty
grand plan
open doors
fostered strength
wings developed
total rock
testing times
open cage
invisible binds

fly, girl

fly.

I wish I could decipher you
insufficient explanation construed
words may fail and logic falter,
the account I'd never alter

a beautiful culmination
purposed, intricate summation
as poetic as a psalter,
the account I'd never alter

transcendent, pleasant mystery
exquisite, written history
content, soaring past the vaulter
the account I'd never alter

I wish I could decipher you
the account I'd never alter

bitter yet sweet
tired not beat
light though dark
friendly shark
disguised deceit

tempting cheat
meet then fleet
flood and the ark
life, a daunting dichotomy of troubling truths

sugary treat
one-way complete
aftermath of spark
equivalent talk and hark
irrelevant elite
life, a daunting dichotomy of troubling truths

and I'm the particular one
when it's my problem, shoulder shun
disregarded, obsession mute
sister quarrel, deeper dispute
please help me, I can't control it
long to be free, not throw a fit
full perspective, issue minute
sister quarrel, deeper dispute
love, despite my longing order
when found secure, no disorder
different when it's - you - refute
sister quarrel, deeper dispute
and I'm the particular one
sister quarrel, deeper dispute

real intentions, sensitive beware
meaning in translation lost
pretty perfection cost
living my perception care
haunting habit, like a snare
impression purity, sure to exhaust
even ideal, lines will be crossed
observant to privy glare
but despite cutting tale
above all hearsay lies,
to society, still you avail
her pleasant guise
her incurable ail
many a mortal, you they prise

unswervingly unsure, but
naturally seeking praise
lost in fluctuating status
overt critic; herself
cutting the repulsive
knowing the faulty cure
each thought convinced,
deemed unworthy

poetically sad
open to love not
timid, she crawls out
every ray shines down
numb to passes
thriving, cage ajar
in total abandon
assuredly she flies
leaving him behind

***** lips that've been caressed,
This is your Sunday best

tattered denim, ***** plaid;
This is his Sunday best

too-short of a sundress hanging on an inked shoulder,
This is her Sunday best

sobbing, screaming, squirrelly;
This is their Sunday best

tear-stained eyes and a wrinkled blouse;
This is my Sunday best

Totally oblivious.
No warning.
The call came.
I was summoned.

Head-on collision of confrontation  
Did I say just enough?
Too much?
I need this.

Was this it?
Was this my chance?
Add it to the list of the things I ruin.

Retrospect brings regret.
Oh, how I wish things different.
Too obvious and yet too discrete.
I need this.

I leave with hope.
Someone cares.

This. This is why I shut.
Everything was getting good -
as I look back, my foot slips in a rut
I'd rather go it alone -- if I could
If I weren't pushed, I'd forever take the easy way
I'm unconvinced vulnerability is worth the pain
the fabric of my heart is prone to fray
the strength you instilled is quick to wane
where are you when I need you now
letting you see me backfired somehow
uncertain of how much more my heart will allow
my indignant mind won't budge its disavow
you've provided me without what I've desired
yet, the depths of me cries out, "I'm tired"

the wrongs I recall, written and remembered
if only, if only able we could be, to squash the evil of desire
tendency to choose destruction, despite all the blessings tendered
Hansel to Eden, from the commencement of creation, we deserve fire
any good I manage to muster will never add up, as I try to no avail
St. Paul relates the word well, thought and action in no agreement
measure the deeds of my past, evil tipping the scale
immoral my only nature, no matter how vehement
even as I sit, my hands idle -- my mind capable of harm
relentless, the inclination to sin
I need help to resist the serpent's charm
because my heart is filled to the brim with the weight of chagrin
but we do not boast in actions our own
humanity has never, will never see a greater Love shown

flowy, fancy and frolicky vibe
I'm on top of the world!
confidence furled
full support, no hint of a gibe
a certain move through your thick brain, imbibe
my cocoon I've uncurled
heritage whorled
natural elation, no Prozac prescribed
Yet, twirls come to a halt
my smile fades as you drone on
It's all my fault
learning forgone
emotional assault
I'm done, you won

Look what you've done!
double the serving size of torment
the battle has begun
hunger pangs won't relent
another helping: slashes of lament
I'd rather be empty
necessary rations, I resent
beneficial to you, poisonous to me
drifting through the days, rugged debris
I've become a lunchroom paralytic
ignore me, mediocre bourgeoisie
not a stomach, but a heart granitic
I ask for seconds - of love, not larder
For once, I feel full. Incomparable ardor.

this fear is not irrational, it's real
I yearn to be longed for
you can't tell me how I feel
physical is easy, boys don't adore
they are just looking to score
the days stretch out long
kiss, squeeze - tell me I'm worth more
alone, how long can I be strong
solitude feels plainly wrong
pleading, "stay by me"
life is better with you along
you hold my heart, don't flea
"be dependent, that's the answer"
your advice is worse than cancer

manifestation, bruised heart
whirlwind youth, broken apart
lonely fight, feeling beat
quiet support, ED defeat
oh, take me back to the start
malnourished security, forget smart
hiding, lying; turned an art
freedom's sound, so sweet
manifestation, bruised heart
whirlwind youth, broken apart
lonely fight, feeling beat
empty soul matches her cart
dizzy barrage of number and chart
needing love, forced to eat
never feeling full, complete
look beside you, I won't dart
manifestation, bruised heart
whirlwind youth, broken apart
lonely fight, feeling beat
quiet support, ED defeat
oh, take me back to the start

pink, satin slippers
strong, poised, graceful pirouette
kinesthetic art

calling me, ensuring our safety
worried, affection unequaled
and this wasn't the first time
"better safe than sorry"
unparalleled bunch,
forever friends,
genuine
unmatched
love

She awoke dull and dismal
The clouds mirrored her emotions
The day was hers
but he'd come and ****** it away

Of that, she was sure.

Mustering an energy she didn't have,
she willed herself out of her bed
to leave the comfort of hiding

She doesn't bother with the shades
Sunshine was a stranger to her heart, anyway.

Neglecting the normality of a morn'ng routine
She threw on a sweater to warm her cold soul
and poured her coffee - black - to match.

Ambition does not belong
in the dictionary of her life
Life? Hardly.
She is the walking antonym of motivated

But there is a place
where she feels alive

In a damp, dark, ***** basement
filled with bats, wheels, earth, and glaze.

Wasting the gray day away,
taking refuge in the arts

Wedging, centering, shaping, stop.
Trimming, firing, glazing, stop.
Lost in the process,
lost in her thoughts.

She can breathe again.
She rises to the battle.

He will not win.

It took him years
to build the strength
to one day venture back

The house, so still
so cold, so ghostly
dressed in solemn black

He could not see
past his childhood of hurt
to find forgiveness in his heart

His only feeling - resentment -
The memories too close
The affection too distant

As he sits across the way
fidgeting, picking at the grass
He ponders his own life

Was he stepping out? Rising above?
Or falling into the deep ruts
of his wayward parents?

Now. his being satisfied,
He was ready to go back
and make his house - a home.

desperate affection, abrasive arm
endless feeling of defeat, battle lost
malnourished sense of control, inflict harm

sweaters or wristlets, my heart starts to frost
scars you see and frown; evil, tempting vice
protect sure release, no matter the cost

unmanageable circumstance, I slice
wounded, but trying; please, tell me you're proud
losing familiar friends, the highest price

invisible, I cry out, feelings cloud
conflicted internally, loved despite
torn up wrist, warm embrace; wrap in a shroud

all the day's longing
has driven me here
teenage angst is
yesterday's excuse
searching, seeking
trying, failing
by error I conclude
savvy I do not hold
but oh, am i good at being fragile
Lucky for me,
I know someone
who handles with care
'tis sweet, the endowment
of calls to mercy
my lone obligation
to enjoy Him forever

clinging to man's empty praise
never gets one very far
surely searching for all your days
the road is sure to leave a scar
not ever brimming, never bubbling
jealous of the overflowing
this lifestyle is sure troubling
anything but easygoing
contingent on love deprivation
show me I'm of worth and saving
diagnosed: emotional starvation
see me, my white flag I'm waving
scared and broken, feeble waif
love me, hold me 'til I feel safe

oh inherited hair,
why do you kink and twirl
straight is in, smooth the curl
your twists and turns are rare
with the popular, you'll never compare
Thanks to you, I look like a little girl
humidity helps the whirl
never mind the cut or care
Lebanese in pedigree
no reason to change yourself in shame
textured, strong, full, wavy, and dark
don't wait for vision and reality to agree
owning it will make a mark
let it shine - the real you - don't tame

scandal is attached to her name
trapped pain demands to escape her thin frame
you are not too much to handle
though your arm, you vandal
darling, there's no more reason for shame

nonsensical desire, confronted irrationality
unattainable aspiration, ugly ultimatum
status perceived, not of datum
distorted reality, blunt brutality

fear from retrospect, timid mentality
caring investors, issue relayed verbatim
nonsensical desire, confronted irrationality
unattainable aspiration, ugly ultimatum

lonely, no commonality
pensive, pounding cranium
demise of my own creation
fallen nature of mortality
nonsensical desire, confronted irrationality

you leave me - without a word
full of shame, living crypt
naked, empty, stripped
the next morning - blurred

hold me like old times; dreams deferred
abuse unreported; wrists ripped
you leave me without a word
full of shame, living crypt

investment and love, confidence spurred
careful tread, but into your arms I slipped
now your love comes with fees; shipped
but I, your little bird
you leave me without a word