oh inherited hair,
why do you kink and twirl
straight is in, smooth the curl
your twists and turns are rare
with the popular, you'll never compare
Thanks to you, I look like a little girl
humidity helps the whirl
never mind the cut or care
Lebanese in pedigree
no reason to change yourself in shame
textured, strong, full, wavy, and dark
don't wait for vision and reality to agree
owning it will make a mark
let it shine - the real you - don't tame

His promises are true for you
Earthly strivings, they can cease
Mere mention of His name is peace
bid those lies adieu,
You have life in His name, too!
As His presence in my life increase,
He puts broken parts together, piece by piece
If in Him, you are a creation - new
Live in the words of the Resurrection
empowered to live by faith
think and believe are contradictory
Jesus loves you, no exception!
"His promises are true," I saith
In Him, we have victory!

hanging her head in surrender
echoing the life He did tender
nothing that I bear in life
could outweigh His temptation rife
Praise our Conqueror of splendor!

you can look, but you won't find
the perfect place to grow
leave your expectations behind
too late, unable to forego
the years rush by, but yet so slow
be still, my heart, and you will see
more than see, you will know
This is exactly where you're supposed to be
rest in contentment, this I plea
Now's the time to let Him work
not all the time will you agree
divine action sometimes leaves you in the murk
Here with holy thoughts enchanted,
dear seed, it's time to grow where are you planted

caged, trapped, whimper in defeat
submitting to her perceived superior
insecurity, her attribute - firm and austere
previous pang builds walls of concrete
lies she believes, deception so sweet
each hour, deteriorates her interior
truth - she cannot grasp it - ulterior
her fists bleed, the steel cell she beats
dangling in reach, the key, the key!
your wrists no longer in a bind
understand now, the cage is in your mind
strive forward, no need to plea
Love propels you from behind
fly, girl, you are free

this fear is not irrational, it's real
I yearn to be longed for
you can't tell me how I feel
physical is easy, boys don't adore
they are just looking to score
the days stretch out long
kiss, squeeze - tell me I'm worth more
alone, how long can I be strong
solitude feels plainly wrong
pleading, "stay by me"
life is better with you along
you hold my heart, don't flea
"be dependent, that's the answer"
your advice is worse than cancer

things. things. things. stuff. things. junk.
never settled, nothing ever satisfies
one more item in the cart, "kerplunk!"
material things will fill you up -- lies.
find yourself always wanting more.
bloat your house with toxic excess
greedy lifestyle, He does abhor
Who are you trying to impress?
the problem lies not in quantity
it's where you're finding security
if you lack hope of real quality,
look to the One of everlasting surety
tangible guarantee will never compare
to the Lord of earth and water and air

trouble finds me
I control my response
hear my crying plea
to Your will, I ensconce
to this very minute
with intention am I here
feeling lost along the route
Lord, incinerate my fear
trusting in Your direction
I don't ask to take away
but rather provide me protection
as I navigate the gray
With boldness, I proclaim,
"Lord, glorify your name!"

clinging to man's empty praise
never gets one very far
surely searching for all your days
the road is sure to leave a scar
not ever brimming, never bubbling
jealous of the overflowing
this lifestyle is sure troubling
anything but easygoing
contingent on love deprivation
show me I'm of worth and saving
diagnosed: emotional starvation
see me, my white flag I'm waving
scared and broken, feeble waif
love me, hold me 'til I feel safe

This. This is why I shut.
Everything was getting good -
as I look back, my foot slips in a rut
I'd rather go it alone -- if I could
If I weren't pushed, I'd forever take the easy way
I'm unconvinced vulnerability is worth the pain
the fabric of my heart is prone to fray
the strength you instilled is quick to wane
where are you when I need you now
letting you see me backfired somehow
uncertain of how much more my heart will allow
my indignant mind won't budge its disavow
you've provided me without what I've desired
yet, the depths of me cries out, "I'm tired"

father, mother
son, daughter
normal words to any other
but whose meaning do you slaughter
crossing kin,
blood no obstacle for relation
love will always win
so sign your name, accept abdication

though no legal ties bind
as your own, me, you receive
no obligation, plainly the nurturing kind
clinging to your care, from my pedigree I cleave
that is a precious word to me,
please don't tread those syllables lightly

temptation rages
a habit of youth
trapped in my mind's cages
grasping for truth
now I know better
desperate for release
find comfort in my sweater
fight to be grounded in peace
war within my own mind
you turned things around
with love and hugs entwined,
my walls, I let you break down
One day, I hope that it will be
just one of those things that made me who I ought to be -- free.

exemplar in more ways than one, she sits close to my heart,
unknowingly impacting my attitude with love, she shared
her spoken mantra, stunningly simple yet almost an art
"I can do hard things" .............................................. I stared.
ridding myself of former thought
I chose to adopt the song as my own
I saw old habits begin to rot,
as the melody melted my heart of stone
soon enough, the doubt creeps in
I sway and fall, I stumble and falter
say it like a broken record and hold up your chin
you've seen it's power, a life it can alter
wash away old thinking that caused you to waver
an incessant challenging of that deprecation and find you in your favor

scandal is attached to her name
trapped pain demands to escape her thin frame
you are not too much to handle
though your arm, you vandal
darling, there's no more reason for shame

the wrongs I recall, written and remembered
if only, if only able we could be, to squash the evil of desire
tendency to choose destruction, despite all the blessings tendered
Hansel to Eden, from the commencement of creation, we deserve fire
any good I manage to muster will never add up, as I try to no avail
St. Paul relates the word well, thought and action in no agreement
measure the deeds of my past, evil tipping the scale
immoral my only nature, no matter how vehement
even as I sit, my hands idle -- my mind capable of harm
relentless, the inclination to sin
I need help to resist the serpent's charm
because my heart is filled to the brim with the weight of chagrin
but we do not boast in actions our own
humanity has never, will never see a greater Love shown

breathe in, the fog begins to lift
deceit precedes despair
lungs, a stranger to fresh air
fear creates many a rift
through the haze, does she sift
her load hard to bear
heart rejecting amour and care
perspective is a gift
follow the bread crumb trail
and you will arrive face to face
with the Father of lies
one by one, his intent to derail
so sweet the deceit, difficult to erase
On guard! or yours will be the hands in ties

all the day's longing
has driven me here
teenage angst is
yesterday's excuse
searching, seeking
trying, failing
by error I conclude
savvy I do not hold
but oh, am i good at being fragile
Lucky for me,
I know someone
who handles with care
'tis sweet, the endowment
of calls to mercy
my lone obligation
to enjoy Him forever

affections follow perfection
it's up to me

smooth out the kinks
fix the chips
show your teeth
don't twirl your locks
take off all those bracelets
you look silly
sit still
play this
read this
pray on Sunday
be happy
don't embarrass me
you used to be...
take AP
go out
mistakes aren't allowed
45.5861° N, 95.9139° W equals success
broken things make me yell
don't cry
work comes first
don't come home
you make things worse

Baffled by the beauty of grace,
I'm learning...
Love is not performance-based.

Oh, to know what You know.
to see the grand blueprint of the intricate design of

my life, my life.
The mirrors are fogged.
Roll down your sleeve
smear away the gray

I dream of the moment,
long-awaited and so, so sweet
to trace the angles of your face with my hand
to carelessly fall into your embrace

Momma always said to
find the corner pieces first
but I just fudge the pieces to fit
I dizzy myself with my own desires

Be unto me the cornerpiece, --  the foundation of my life

Nearsighted and naive
Lord, give me eyes to see
interim apathy will serve
a deeper purpose

Rest, my thoughts
Ease, my mind
You are fully known.

You were supposed to take it all away.
You were supposed to make me forget
You were supposed to provide me a release
You were supposed to signal help
You were supposed to control the chaos
You were supposed to be there for me
You were supposed to distract me
You were supposed to help
You were supposed to make me feel alive
You were supposed to match my outside to my inside
You were supposed to make me feel better
You were supposed to

but all you are is an anesthetic turned to poison.

How is it that I long for something I already possess?

I feel an orphan, though I lack not
my emotions feel imposter

like those of true loss,
my heart aches for more than a shadow
moreover, I carry the guilt of this pang
with knowledge of those who carry authentic sorrow

I ask the question.
Is bruised fruit better than nil?
Is bread, molded and crumby, better than none at all?

I know you love me, but do you enjoy me?
obligation does not breed true affection.
dutiful acceptance falls short
I long for a genuine, tangible love

Moving through the transitions of life
Oh, show me how to navigate

The shadow of my former self
fades faster with every move

She's run away,
she hides,
she won't come back.

Stay, stay, please stay.

If you go, along with you
travels the hope
of the return of me

She will be lost forever
Please, if you must leave,



don't forget me.

Passing, leaving
Coming, going
The ebb and flow of knowing
is full of feeling.

Comparably, vulnerability brings
harder falls
but higher peaks
I am no gambler.

Magnet to me.
Never leave.
Irreversibly, your lover.
Permanently wed.

Hold me, hold me...

Exit stage left.
And you never come back.

Locked inside,
lonely, but void of all other feeling--
a novacain heart.
Susceptible to sentiment, no longer.

How do you love when love always leaves?





I don't know how

She awoke dull and dismal
The clouds mirrored her emotions
The day was hers
but he'd come and ****** it away

Of that, she was sure.

Mustering an energy she didn't have,
she willed herself out of her bed
to leave the comfort of hiding

She doesn't bother with the shades
Sunshine was a stranger to her heart, anyway.

Neglecting the normality of a morn'ng routine
She threw on a sweater to warm her cold soul
and poured her coffee - black - to match.

Ambition does not belong
in the dictionary of her life
Life? Hardly.
She is the walking antonym of motivated

But there is a place
where she feels alive

In a damp, dark, ***** basement
filled with bats, wheels, earth, and glaze.

Wasting the gray day away,
taking refuge in the arts

Wedging, centering, shaping, stop.
Trimming, firing, glazing, stop.
Lost in the process,
lost in her thoughts.

She can breathe again.
She rises to the battle.

He will not win.

Totally oblivious.
No warning.
The call came.
I was summoned.

Head-on collision of confrontation  
Did I say just enough?
Too much?
I need this.

Was this it?
Was this my chance?
Add it to the list of the things I ruin.

Retrospect brings regret.
Oh, how I wish things different.
Too obvious and yet too discrete.
I need this.

I leave with hope.
Someone cares.

The sun drops lower,
but have you not any fear.
It shall rise again.

Waves are rolling in,
inching closer to my feet,
crawling up the sand.

Why, after everything you do,
leave everything askew?

Is there a place for everyone here,
in a world so spacious, so vast?
Lies are told. Rumors spread. People sneer.
Must her future be determined by her past?
She questions her existence.
Desperately, she searches for someone to trust.
She falls to her knees, and prays with might.
No more does she want to look at her reflection with disgust.
Troubles left and right, and her head is spinning.
Emotions fill her, overwhelming her being.
Can anyone relieve her from all her sinning?
There's got to be a light, she's just not seeing.
You see, even though she feels like she's dwindling,
there's a flame of hope who the Man up above is kindling.

The rain has finally ceased, leaving none untouched and dry.
Your eyes fall upon a flower, so still, so innocent.
Crooked and bent from the undying wind,
you, its savior from its relentless master.
Plucking it from its roots, you caress the twisted stem.
Uneven is the surface, thanks to its defense of prickly thorns.
Following the shape, winding like a staircase, your fingers make their way to the top.
O, rose, show me an ounce of your majesty!
The aroma captivates your senses.
All hairs stand on end.
So delicate are the petals - spinning, twirling, all t'wards el centro.
How gentle her creator must be!
Weighed down by drops of dew, the petals droop lower.
Even so, each radiates brilliance beyond compare.
In closer you look, so curious and caring.
In it you find no scientific discovery, yet such an incomparable treasure.
In your hands, you hold enlightenment.
As this rose was trampled on the ground,
so are you reminded of One, who did the same for you.

It took him years
to build the strength
to one day venture back

The house, so still
so cold, so ghostly
dressed in solemn black

He could not see
past his childhood of hurt
to find forgiveness in his heart

His only feeling - resentment -
The memories too close
The affection too distant

As he sits across the way
fidgeting, picking at the grass
He ponders his own life

Was he stepping out? Rising above?
Or falling into the deep ruts
of his wayward parents?

Now. his being satisfied,
He was ready to go back
and make his house - a home.

The house seems still, quiet, empty.
Dawn breaks and her feet hit the cold wooden floor.
The aroma of coffee swirls through the air, meeting the cool breeze,
while the birds are singing the song of a new day.

Morning presses on.
Discontentment creeps in slyly through the door.
There's always some chore that finds itself unavoidable.
She mustn't sit in solemn despair.

Flipping through the channels over and over.
Dusting the shelves time and again.
Reading, writing, baking.
None the cure for the unrest of a widow.

Lunch prepared for two, but present, only one.
Picking and nibbling, but nothing seems to satisfy.
She starts the dishes to pass the time.
Bubbles forming, suds splashing.

She can't resist.
There's no escape.
Her mind lands on his precious reminiscence.
As melancholy as it seems, she knows there is hope to be found.

Still, the afternoon seems to have no end.
She finds herself aimlessly wandering.
Memories resurface with every glance.
Shutting her eyes seems to be no help.

She finds her day drawing to a close.
Her heart impossible to mend.
For she cannot be whole without her other half.
This is the burden she unwillingly carries.

A lonely game of solitaire awaits.
Companionship long over due.
Nothing seems to fill the void.
But life beats on.

It didn't seem real
It was like he had only gone fishing
Of course, that was only a dismal hope
a faint glimmer of me wishing

I'll miss him dearly
Won't get to see him biyearly
playing games - cards and such
golf, euchre, slapjack, and sequence

No more am I able to hug his round belly
or give a kiss on his sandpaper cheeks
But no more will he ache or shake
Oh, what a glorious day!

My heart hurts for my grandmother's loss
The house feels empty without his jolly, old laugh
But there we left her,
playing a lonely game of solitaire

Yet, his memory lives on through me
I can tell of his love for our country
Eagles, flags, and family
These were his pride and joy

I loved him so much
I really did
But I can live in peace
Knowing he's waiting for me
with Jesus