Tenaj

Tenaj Jun 2019

We are not as we expected,
The weight of flesh has fallen off our bones,
We have become light,
Although not by our own choice,
Always losing a part of something special to something not quite as much.

I wanted to be a writer.
I wish the words would jump off of me and unto the page,
We hate making the effort don’t we?
We don’t want to spend that time searching for that magic,
If only it would just appear the way we had dreamed about it so long,
As if it had found its own way to be its own way.

~Another Dream Deferred~

Tenaj Jun 2019

June Pride

We are all the shades of the rainbow they couldn't see when the sun was out. The perfectly mixed pallet, bursting with purples and pinks pouring out positivity; permeating love.

Justifying
                  Understanding
                                            Nurturing
                                                          Existence
                                                          Peaceful
                                           Resistance
                               Inspired
                  Despite
Expectations

Tenaj Apr 2018

I know

Don't be alarmed,
I know death,
I've heard it's whispers,
Seen the faces of those afraid to go,

It has taught me why Jesus wept,
and now I weep with him,
Knowing now, I was never strong enough,
Understanding the nature of mine own mortality,

A man writes himself into existence,
making an art of storytelling,
turning his autobiography into fiction,
because the hero always overcomes,

I cannot rest,
Life is our Gethsemane,
and all you ask is that I stay with you in this moment,
All you ask is that I dry the blood from your skin,

All I ask is that you cling to life,
Leave the worrying to me,
Let me handle this fast ball on the outside corner,
All I ask is that you run it back home,

My mother taught me how to pray,
told me God hears the whispers,
I shout to be on the safe side,
Knowing now, I was never really strong enough,

I know death,
Seen my own terrified crying face in the mirror,
Sung hymns as they lowered the bodies,
Never really accepting it,

I've tried the, "Lazarus come forth approach,"
Waited three days to see if their body will rise,
Thinking my prayer will somehow cause that miracle,
Trying to take the work of God into my own hands,

I've learned to not be alarmed when it doesn't work,
I've learned to write myself back into existence after the pain,
I've learned to never rest, and cling to life,
Becoming ashamed that I still get to.

~Another Dream Deferred~

May 2017

- JP DeVille

I love you

And how can I say I love you,
how do I put it in words,
when I draw my inspirations from sadness,
and for once I've found happiness,
in you.

I want to express my love for you in a thousand ways:
Claim I'll climb the highest mountain,
swim the deepest sea,
cross the biggest desert.
But that's a problem for me.

Like a god gets his powers from an elixir,
my ambrosia comes from sadness.
I'm not a happy ending kind of guy,
I write to death,
to losing,
to the defeated;
and for once you've changed all that.

But who cares if I can't write any longer,
who cares if I lost my touch.
I rather live happy having you,
than to write a million poems,
wanting so bad to hold you.

I'm happy that I have you,
and I just want you to know,
I love you.

Tenaj May 2017

Future Lover

There are two sides, the misinterpretation and the misrepresentation
Of which we are both guilty.
Amused I am to be in life’s museum
A curator to the creator’s design
A muse to be amused

To be a silly goose is not what I choose
Rather to gather from this sort of proper gander
The way the other side pander as I ponder
This is what the portrait portrays

The calm before the storm
A serene siren singing the song of the drowned lover,
And it seems, I, the unlikely am just another.
To my future lover if they can hear my voice,
Do not confuse my anxiety driven silence as mute by choice
Do not confuse my nervous stillness with profound elegance or poise

If our fates intermingle, I say let them be intertwined
The apple does not fall far from the tree,
nor the grape far from the vine
Let us not reminisce about what could have been,

But rather interlock lips, interweave grips never letting go
I just want you to know
I am here to loosen your rope
For to me, us, is enough
And together there could never be enough of us

~Another Dream Deferred

Tenaj May 2017

Confused

My mind decieved me, then my tongue betrayed me
but maybe deception is perception
betrayal being a fictitious potrayal of the I dont knows
What is crucial to a person, the body, spirit, mind

Social constructs, deliberate until you are left debilitated
Question, Who I am, only to learn whom I am not
What is crucial to a person, the body, hardly, when flesh can rot
Age old questions require new age response

Mark and remark, flames, ignited by a spark in the dark
emotionally violent, the boat that rocks the sea with its pleasantries
Hence remember me, memories
Our minds are entities, saturated in discrepancies, enraged tumultously

Genuine genuis is that which rejects its own place in the world
Knowing that knowing is the same as not
It is the water that clings to itself, shaping itself
It is the eternal spirit, that if it were to die, would never know

~Another Dream Deferred

Tenaj Apr 2017

Inner Mind's Thoughts

I am just the observer in a foriegn world,
the truth unbeknownst to me,
listening to the news on a satelitte radio of my own creating.

The Inner cities of my heart and soul,
thinking of what I used to and used to not be.

Dreamers, Believers, accidental happenings with the not so acquainted acquaintances.

Fiction is peril, non ficition perilous fiction peril,
sense becomes non sensical, words blurred, heard while reamaining unheard.

Dreamers, Believers, accidental happenings with the not so acquainted acquaintances.

Distasteful, disgraceful, shameful, painful,
to fully understand is to fully comprehend,
actions have results,
condone or condemn, all the while justice cons them,
substitue, excuses, sub conscience, contentious,
Erroneous roots to hidden truths.

Criminal in the subliminal, sublime, sunshine,
fetch boy, new stick old tricks.
Boat for sale, sail boat, same old, all same

Sanity, Vanity is in constant demand, man, michelen stars perahps lost in space

Depraved, beraved, inner cities atlas atlantis, at last this port royal has sunken ship

Saying God saves the Queen in a dream,
fiction is peril, non fiction perilous fiction peril,
never safe, sugar sweet has lost its taste,
estatic ectasy, youths remedy, careful melodies, what are you telling me

Perhaps the aliens, alienated in the same way have been made to fall in love with me

Perhaps the ramblings of a sorry soul, sold, to be heard over the intercom

What do I really know,
a foreigner,
Observing, never really knowing, because I created it all

~Another Dream Deferred