I know not
Whether I'm in love with you
Or in love with our friendship.
For you,
Are the boy who's been inhabiting my mind lately
But I must admit,
You're not the first to reside there
But I can say,
That I would not mind
If you were the last
Though I fear,
Your departure is inevitable.
But if you could remain,
I would not take it in vain.
For you're the only one
Keeping me sane.

I wish I could tell you
That I'm not in love with you
Oh no my dear this isn't the case
For you see,
I'm infatuated with an over-romantacized version of you
Which only truly exists in my daydreams
And it was not you I wrote sweet nothings about
It was my imaginary version of you
The version that loves me back,
For the real you...
Doesn't feel for me anymore.
So my darling, my first kiss, my first date, first slow dance, first small romance
See you in my daydreams.

There's a certain beauty in self destruction

The discord of fall apart

The melody of sobs

The discord of self hatred

There is no melody in insanity

You and I,
are woven pieces of ribbon.
Connected from opposite ends of the globe.
Kept apart by 14 hours,
yet inseparable in our hearts

But we're broken

Ripped apart by circumstance
hearts slashed and wrists soaked red

We can't keep each  other alive
when one of us is already dead

And yet,
neither of us know which

For tho our love for our friendship is infinite

Secrets still lie within.

I fell for a boy.

with hair long and eyes blue

And he never knew

   the hold he had on me

even when I told him this truth

I fell for a boy.

who told me my god was not real

and left me questioning

what to feel

I fell for a boy.

who left me in tears

He hurt me like hell

Sobs he would never hear

I fell for a boy.

who cut his hair later that year

But I still whisper “you’re beautiful”

soft enough he cannot hear

I fell for a boy.

who has a soul

instead of a heart

but there’s a hole,

where that heart once was

I fell for a boy.

who’s my best friend

who loses my number

and likes my female companion

I fell for a boy.

who I would give the world

but from him

I still receive scorn

I fell for a boy

who has feelings he never shows

and knows not

how much I know

I fell for a boy.

who hates poetry and deep things

and I know he doesn’t care

for that part of me

I fell for a boy.

who leaves me feeling confused

yet I have not the courage

to express to him this abuse

Tears burn like broken glass
carving into my face.
I feel like my face is being ******* cut off
And you've managed to bring out the worst in me
you should be afraid
For when you hurt your own ******* friend
You hurt someone with the power
to cut you down like no other before
And I could hurt you even worse than you hurt me
I can sharpen my already razor sharp words
And slicing you oh so carefully
that you fall to pieces in meer seconds.
But oh I refuse to stoop to your level
Unlike you,
I respect the power behind words
And the inability of humans to take them back after they've been said.
But for now I'm still bitter.

At one point,
I could say you and I were friends.
Good friends even,
but I guess now we're not.
And I know it's pretty much all my fault.
I cared about you too much,
and I got greedy.
I wanted you all to myself
I wanted you to drown me in adoration.
And well, that was petty of me.
You were my fantasy,
but you wanted only my body
Pictures were what you seeked,
and I provided them readily.
And its a shame,
we both got caught up in this ***** game.
Now we can't even look at each other.

The other day I wrote another poem about you
And I posted it on here,
and it received a plethora of views
But,
I only wish you could see it too
And uncover the truth of my feelings towards you
Yet I must begin to force myself
to realize the truth
you will never again want me
the way I want you.
And I can write you poems
everyday especially for you
Even making them rhyme,
the way you like them to
But I guess by now
my words hold little precedence,
For thou no longer longs for me