The man of life upright, whose guiltless heart is free
From all dishonest deeds and thoughts of vanity:
The man whose silent days in harmless joys are spent,
Whom hopes cannot delude, nor fortune discontent;
That man needs neither towers nor armor for defense,
Nor secret vaults to fly from thunder's violence:
He only can behold with unaffrighted eyes
The horrors of the deep and terrors of the skies;
Thus scorning all the care that fate or fortune brings,
He makes the heaven his book, his wisdom heavenly things;
Good thoughts his only friends, his wealth a well-spent age,
The earth his sober inn and quiet pilgrimage.

sometime
the need to write
scribbling words on paper
is as strong as the need to write
but the thought scares me
and so
i push the urge deep down
and hold my breath
but then
i cannot hold it any longer
and i let it out
letting the writing become me
an when im done
tears flow
not because the writing is beautiful
but because it is captivating
to let loose those things that i kept hidden
and because
i finally allowed myself
to breathe

There is something to be said for the way your smile lights up passageways in my heart that have long been darkened

I remember the smell of your soap and the taste of honeycomb cereal and the feel of your soft hands protecting my small hands on the way across the road to my kindergarten classroom

And here today I sit across from you and I want to thank you for every cut you cleaned, and every tear you wiped, and the way you taught me to smile no matter who kicked me down, but I have to remember that you are now someone else

And to you, I am as good as a stranger
To you, we share no memories
No quiet mornings or warm afternoons

And I sit here today and I'm smiling and you're smiling but all is hollow because you cannot place my face in your photo frames of memory and I cannot help but curse myself for letting you get away from me

And these diseases of the mind are the silent terrorists, waging wars on memories and leaving ticking time bombs with tired families

I don't cry
I don't cry
I don't cry

Every Sunday afternoon you spent carving me into the person I am is gone, and I am coming to realize that without your love, this being you forged is wooden and hollow

You mean more to me than anything in the world
But you don't know who I am
I am gone to you

And every Sunday afternoon, I tell you who I am
And you smile and nod, and you're as kind as can be
But you are convinced, you've never met me



I have to smile
No matter who or what kicks me down

1st Year
You took me by the hand
Gazed upon my eyes
"I love you", u said
You wrote me a poem
'Sunshine', remember?
You said your eyes reflected
My sunshine
But I also understood,
You didn't love me like I did
You loved the gift in me,
That I gave u joy, peace and happiness
I felt your heartbeat
I was there

                2nd Year
You took me by the hand
Gazed upon my eyes
And said you wanted to leave
"I love you", I said
You gave in to the eyes that once reflected your sunshine
But I also knew,
You stayed out of guilt
You still didn't love me like I did
I was in to the deep end
I wasn't giving u joy like I used to
We've been through too much
I'm not letting you go
No, that's not an option
Your seeds are embedded in my soul
You soothed the ****** that surfaced me
You are in every part of me
I am incomplete without you

             3rd Year
You took me by the hand
Gazed upon my eyes
And said u wanted to leave, again
"I love you", I said
But it wasn't enough, I knew this
You wrote me a poem
'Dear Balm', remember?
"Variants of species invade it's land but never conquer it's territory"
You gave me hope
But rapidly crushed it with
'From Burchelli'
You had already met her,
She was a mirror reflection of you
Poet in her own right
Crazy, free spirited just like you
You felt her heartbeat
She too, felt your heartbeat
You love her
She loves you
Still, you gave in to guilt

You took me by the hand, again
Gazed upon my eyes
And said, "This car is not traveling like it used to" without hesitation
And I knew I had lost you
All these years I've made you live a lie
You are leaving but you are staying
We've been through this road more times than you can remember, but I can
I know though you are with me,
You no longer belong to me
And until I find the strength to walk away from you
I'll still be here,
Calling you mine even when I know 'we' no longer exist

i unzipped my ribcage
did you enjoy sloshing through everything i am?
waist deep in a current likely to **** you under
do not come under
i am nauseous of the rhythm from these same waves
they pull me in and fill my lungs
when i cough i swallow more
i am succumbing to
less of who
i thought
i was