Once again
I'm sitting here

Once again
I'm prying the butterflies out of my stomach

Once again
I've ****** you off

Once again
You remind me of my ******* step dad

Once again
You can't handle me or my words, but like you would ever try to choke them down anyways

Once again
I'm on nicotine level of 20

Once again
You told me, you ******* told me, so I don't know why I even try anymore, because you know it would hurt me. ******* props to you.

Once again
You talk to my best friend

Once again
Your words cut the **** out of me and my mouth is so dry but my eyes, they drown in the memories, in words, in water.

Not once in our fight was love shed.

Your words burn going down but yet
                  I
                                   still






                   swallow



It's 2 am and you still are keeping my thoughts up. New record.

I bet you're wondering why I'm not like most girls.
I hate the smell of the pavement after the rain.
I hate Starbucks.
I hate the game. (oh, by the way, I lost the game.)
I hate sun flower head bands and white converse.

I bet you're wondering why I won't let you in.
I hate feeling over whelmed with stuff I can't control.
I hate bridges, they can't hold ground.
I hate how hands don't care what they touch because it's just as easy to let go.
I hate the fact that eyes are just another passage way.

I bet you're wondering where my sense of humor faded to.
I hate to smile, it just invites conversation.(like I'd want that)
I hate my laugh.
I hate dreaming about your smile because it makes me dream about your face which makes me dream about your chest moving up and down and hoping that I'll get to lay.... No... No stop.
I hate your corny jokes because in the end, I'll never be able to hear them again.

I bet your wondering what made my heart so bitter and my face so plastic with glazed over blue eyes.
I hate that house.
I hate flower head bands.
I hate that time can't heal all wounds because each clock has arthritis.
I hate bridges.
I hate your corny jokes.


I hate for at least once in my life, you made me happy. Not the little kid with ice cream, happy.
The happy I only read in books, I only find in old people, the kind I can't go to sleep without, the kind where you showed me,

Its okay to breathe.

I hate that you took my breath when you left.
I hate you, so stop wondering.

~T.P~

Yet I'm still laying here. It's pitch
                              black
The only thing bright enough to see is this tiny little screen I
                    tap tap
                                     tap
To write you this poem.
                You'll be happy to hear I've started smoking again to let my lungs go
                 B
                          L
                A
                            C
         K
Because for once, I let them breath. You told me to try.
              You said it'll be fine. We'll be fine. Yeah I believed you, but my mistake. You're like the smell of nail polish remover, you can last for days but gone in a week. Oh, but a month later, your stench, it'll crawl the house.
                   I'm sorry to be bitter,
     black.
                                          I know every morning when I wake up,
                   my mouth will taste
Like ****
                           because I know I've been saying your name
                                        all night.
~T.P~

Definition of friendship- the emotions or conduct of being friends.
Definition of friend- a person whom one knows and whom has a bond of mutual affection.

1. She knows me better than I know me with my eyes closed, upside down, swinging on a tireswing with a frog duck tapped to my ankle (holding a lollipop)

2. They says friends come and go, but what do they say when you're in highschool and everyone around is the same.

3. She hates me because we started as friends but he grew wanting to be more when she hid behind texts.

4. She's the best poet I've ever heard, but not the bravest.

5. I miss her.

6. She hates me.

7. I lost my only friend.

8. She hates me.

9. She hates me.

10. She ******* hates me.

11. She's the only one I let read my poems before I speak them.

12. She wears her heart on her sleeve.

13. She's so sad, but makes everyone around her laugh so she won't feel as lonely.... Hiding behind the tears of a clown.

14. She's insecure but as beautiful as a rain drop hitting a window.

15. But she wears the ugliest mask.

He's the tickling laugh in my throat
2. He's the deep thought on Saturday nights
3. He's the daydream under my tongue but the reality of seeing him and her together (forever they say)
4. He's the reason why my hands are always cold
5. He's the smile that lights up my heart (and my face, as red as his girlfriends lipstick)
6. He's the reason I look back into
The past
The night on the trampoline
The winter guard performance when he first touched my hand, but quickly let go to touch hers
7. He's the overwhelming feelings in my head when our eyes finally hit each other's
8. He's the (we oddly have a lot in common)
9. He was always that phone call in the summer
10. He's the long bike rides where his wheels hit the same pavement, but she
She's the whisper of dout that we can never be a we

~(T.P)~

Black fingers twist the outside layer of my skin
Without a drop of sympathy
Don't let go
I can move on faster than you can reach back to grab me
Try me
I tried looking for a night in shinning armor but I only found a surgeon
Picking and poking at the not so right stuff wanting to
Fix
Fix
Fix
Fix
Fix
******* fix
What didn't need to be
Turns out
You're just some ******* dressed in tin-foil