Sittin in High School
One of my fondest memories
Wasn't of sports
or seeing the pretty preppy girls walking around in mini skirts and loose v-neck shirts
Knowing that they are out of my league

Surprisingly it was the rare moments that I would put my head down in class
Just close my eyes and think
Slowing drifting into an odd state that I know we all know

The state of complete relaxation and the definition of calm
The time between zonked out and aware of your surroundings
The point where your ears are the only thinks that work right
You listen to conversations going on around you
Ones that continue over the top of you
Whispers gliding gently over the back of your head
Kissing your hair to reminding you there are still people in the room

But in all reality you could care less
Looking so peaceful, calm, and still
Arms folded and head resting upon them

If only people knew what type of demons you are fighting in that deceiving head of yours
Legs begin to twitch as you spring through an unfamiliar jungle
Being chased by a pack of rabid
Twelve foot long Caterpillars
They lay Seven feet high
Two foot thorns coming out of their fast, round, jiggly bodies
Mouth gaping like a cave
Teeth that resemble stalactites and stalagmites
Dripping with a bio-luminescent substance that has to be poisonous

You hurtle rocks and logs
Ninja slide under giant tree roots and low hanging branches
While running you must swat away gigantic ravenous butterflies
They are pretty, but not very nice

Sweat pooring from your body
Blood pressure is running through the ceiling
Panting heavy
Scared shitless

You make the mistake of looking behind you to see if you lost the beast

And you trip...
Falling ******* the ground with a loud thud
Starring up as the caterpillar leaps into the air and in slow motion comes down
Jaws open
Mouth watering
Stomach hungry
As he begins his decent your mind is blank
About to die

With no warning the ground below you disappears
Falling into a black abyss of nothing
The bottom appears quickly
You brace yourself to splat on the ground
As you hit the earth
You jump wildly in your seat with a loud yell...

The bell rings with the class gazing at you giggling
Filled with embarrassment   you pick up your things and quickly shuffle out of class

What do you do when life comes crashing down
When your coworker tells you that you have been training your replacement
When you are stuck with enough money to pay your bills and all you have is twelve dollars
Taunting your wallet to spend wisely
Do we run?
Or do we take this problem head on like a Ram charging up to prove ourselves against another hard skull

I guess this is based off personal preference
Just another life experience we must learn on our own
Push through the hard times to gain the good times
Things get easier when you work harder
That is what I'm told at least

When people hear about my life problems right now
They are quick to give ******* generic advice
The whole "keep your chin up" or "life will turn around"
**** that *******
I'm sick of this advice
Tell me something real
Better yet, lets trade shoes for a while and you can wear these worn out kicks
Full of Pain and hard times

Actually I'm going to keep them
Fight through this struggle
Take life in stride and wear out these souls to the point where I need to buy new ones
Ones that fit a bit better

I'll walk through these empty streets to clear my head
Shed hard earned layers of life
Till the sun comes up to show me how beautiful life can be
When everything begins to wake up and traffic begins to pick up
I keep walking
I keep walking until  I reach my bed to lay and rest
Hopefully when I wake up
All the bad dreams will be gone
No longer haunting me

I am almost twenty years old
And I'm still trying to figure out my life
Still trying to figure out what I want to become
Trying to figure out what I want to do for a living
Still trying to find a girl worth dating
Not saying that I've never found one
I had a girl, a few actually
but I ****** all those up looking for something different

Now that is biting me in the ***
With the mind games you play
You say that you miss me, that you still love me but then I find out that you found others to fill the void that I left in your chest when I left
You drag me back in with those comments
Then other comments push me away and **** me off

I'm almost twenty years old and I'm still trying to make something out of nothing
All I want is to become something
Not sure what that something is or when that something will become

I heard a much smarter man than myself say that some cats say somethings better than nothing
The only problem is that those cats are content with living in the alleys and searching for scraps, I have the ambition to upgrade from an ally cat to a house pet
To be a house-held name
So let my voice be listened to and start the domestication, lets go somewhere together to make our lives better
Stop scrounging garbage bags and begin having someone feed us

My life wont be gratifying enough for myself until I not only become something, but become something big
So take some advice from these words and lets all begin to give up the **** life we have settled for and go out to make a name for ourselves

I say this because our life will end, but instead of fading into nothing I want my name to be remembered for a long time after I am gone

I write for the average person
I write for the people who I connect with
I write for the lost souls of every day life
I write for the people who have nothing to show for their age
Except for scars
Broken hearts and gray hairs
The people that have worked hard for every paycheck in their entire lives
Who scrounge up change from under the driver side seat of their car just to buy a pack of cigarettes
The people who only go out on Saturday night because Friday was payday and that's all they can afford

I write this because right now I don't have enough money to keep smoking like I want to
To start driving the car that I want to
To pay back all the money that I owe
Or to really do anything outside of sitting and being stuck in my own head
And I know a lot of you are like me
Too much thinking can be a very bad thing
I'm not saying it leads to bad thoughts
Like suicide or robbing a bank or stealing a car or anything like that
It's bad because if people like me starting thinking too much we can never stop
And if we never stop thinking we can never sleep
If we never sleep then we never stop this ongoing snowball effect that we call our thoughts
But eventually we sleep

And when the sun raises in the morning all we want to do is cover our face with the blanket
And go back to playing poker on the moon with all of our hero's
But instead of this dream we have to wake up
nine to five
nine to five
Every day for five days a week
Fifty two weeks a year
For at least sixty-five years out of our lives
Back to the grind

I write this
For the hopeless romantics
For the young generations that can barely understand my words
I write this
Sitting alone in my bedroom waiting for the day my voice is heard
I write this
And ill keep on writing til my hands decide they don't wanna hold a pen anymore