When will you relize the beat of my heart silently in your hand
You hold it you own it
You can try to break try to hurt it but at this time of life I'm fully alive


I'm fully alive to sit here with you to hold your hand

I'm fully alive to show you the right way to push toward the road to success


When will you relize I don't criticize you I hurt you only to show I'm fully alive for you

Home alone
No noise
No tv

Home alone
A blade
A rope
A body of pills

Home alone
A piece of paper
A pin



Home alone
A text message from your ex
A text message from your bully


Home alone is enough to **** me

My chest pushes up and down
With the beat of every breath I take
But I'm already dead

To you I'm alive
To you I still survive
But to me I'm already dead

People tell me I'm going to hell
Only to relize I'm already there
Because I'm already dead


I'm locked up in chains
I'm push to far
Now the hole I already fall
Only to hit the bottom and relize
I'm already dead

You can't save me now you never could, only thing you can do is burry my under ur foot


6 feet under I lie
My body cold and lifeless just so you can relize
Your already dead

Mom comes in her room to see her teen age daughter laying on the floor
She checks for a pulse
She checks the eyes
But it seems her daughter has lost her life, with a note lying beside her that read, mommy it's okay I was born just to be dead, this was her calling, this was her set free from all the hater,
This was her appointment to get her wings on and fly
The last part of the note read "mommy my wings fit fine there very pretty only if you could see them to only if you could feel them mommy I miss you and I love don't cry or blame this on your self it wasn't your fault I took the heart beet out of my self  but I love you".
Now that mommy has no daughter what eles is left other the to try out the blade her self.

Little white and round tablets
20 of them lay in my hand

Marked with little numbers
But what ever they say
I put them all in my mouth

The pain and hurt slowly fades aways
As my heart beat slowly goes away
But I don't feel anything I don't feel any pain all I feel are my eyes closing slowly

I wake up in a dark room with a little window and I hear the sound of someone screaming and yelling my name

I look through the little window to see my mom laying over my life less body pulling my body towards her

Blaming everything on her. She pushed me to far
yelled
At me to much

But what she dosnt know is that it wasn't her fault it was the little white pills that put me asleep

I'll take and throw It away
The blade is apart of me now
Cause life memos of the past on my wrist tho to you it makes no sence to me it was the only thing
Only thing to solve my cracked heart
Only thing to feel the hatred in my heart that was the only thing that would make my problems feel solved it was better than saying good by to the sun moon and stars now I'm just left with scars inside and out my face says happy but my mind screams out for help some are hidden from the souls view but some are visible and covered with lies I don't want. Attention or help cause
The scars are both
Better than cuts across the neck or a rope tied to a tree or pills laying in my hand belive I've tried all but the scars saved me

I have no pitty, like I have no pain
The scars I created still remain
On my wrist the stair through my eyes
Almost like they were related to the knife,
It made them, but I don't see,
While cutting my self
Fill the hatred inside me ,
It cause tears and so much pain
Fill the hated But in the end the scars remain, people ask people question among the scars but the answers are just filled with excuses
Almost like the come out of my mouth with no though add at the end
But the people look at and think why I would want somthing that caused so much attention to remain why I still do it I have no clue , but it fixes my heart almost like glue, yea the scars their vivid  to the eye but to me it was better than saying goodbye