'I just want to love someone.'

I hate that you say this to me.
'love someone then'

'I don't want to.'

'Why?'

'I know that if I love them the way I want to
They won't love me back the same way'

Fury builds up in my breaking heart.
Anger stretches throughout my entire body.
You will never know
Will you?

Every time I kiss him
I see
you.  
Every time he holds me
I want it to be
you.
Every time.

Someday I will tell you.

I see the bowl.
I smell it.

I eat the cookie.
I taste it.

Green raindrops are falling on my head.
I laugh.

I cover the carb.
I inhale the smoke.

These noises
are smelly.
These voices
taste bad.

Senses
out of wack.

Write every night
Regardless of what
you think
he thinks
she thinks

Hate what I write
Love what I write

*eyedontgiveafuck.

As the heavy streams flow.
She mourns.
I watch her,
Never realizing her pain.
Too caught up in self pity.
How
       Could
                 I
                   Be
        so
selfish.

The memories stream like her eyes.
The gaping hole returns.
It's being gashed open
I still feel it.
It's burning.
It's cutting.
Deeper.
deeper.

I feel it now and I want you to know.
Know that these cuts I bare.
And that these wounds have opened

For you.
for you
*for you.

She sits alone while the silence of the night takes her back;
Bringing her there,
Lifting her head,
Forcing her to relive the pain.

His cold skin taking hers by surprise.
Her screams only making it louder.

smack.
Smack.
SMACK.

Shoulders back,
Chest up,
With a **** eating grin.
His only plead is ignorance.