Its kinda like midnight, and
The sweet frost
Biting my cheeks
So young, the color of life

Looking to my sides, and
Seeing trust and beauty
Not just skin deep

Tonight we forgot words, like
Change and the future
Our spirits are preserved
On that street
On those stairs
And in that light

Knowing that no matter what happens,
Its okay.
Because we’ll always know that tonight happened.
And our lives were once this simple

Right now, this is as close as we’ll ever be to
Forever.

-Taylor

I find myself running out
Of things and ways to say it.
Repeating phrases
Like I’m sorry
Saying them louder
Like that might help you
To understand

I know this is hard for you
But its hard for me too
Because it was me who fired the shot,
That brought down the world

I blew out the candle,
And everything went dark
Now I’m blindly feeling my way,
To a solution
Hoping one exists at all  

God, I’m just so **** terrified
Trying so hard to hold it all together
Hold it all in.
Hoping my fear doesn’t show though the cracks

I can’t care how it comes out anymore,
I won’t worry about rhyme
Or form.

This is all about the point.
My jumbled ideas, worries
That are coming too quickly to make sense.
Jumping from one stone to the other
Turning from blue, to grey in one fluid motion
Like the sky deciding to storm

I’d really just like you to take my hand,
Practice forgiveness
And we’ll work out this mess together

Because I know you’re real,
And you’re probably all scrambled up too.

-Taylor


I can’t stop, there’s too much here that reminds me of you.

It will always be a mystery
An obvious heartache
A tug and pull, a desire
To have, and to run

It could be cliché
To the untrained eye
Or the boy on the other end
Of this line, a fragile string

But I have to be selfish
Just for a minute
I am my own lifeboat you know
And saving yourself is the hardest thing to do

This adoration, is far too much
Overwhelming me to ask for your everything
Wanting to see how far we can go,
On a single breath

Conflicting ideas set me apart
Fighting over the same thing
Running towards you, and away
Changing direction too fast, dizzy

I should be relieved
That I made my escape
Before you realized my flaws
So maybe when tonight fades, you’ll think I was good

I feel the weight of the stone I left behind
Heavier then ever
Hating that I want you to follow
That I could silently beg for it

So when I leave you, and I turn that corner
And feel the explosion
And see the fragile bits of my life
Flutter slowly down around me, like ash

I’ll wonder what I would feel like
If you were beside me
Would you help me pick it all up
Or would you see my destruction for what it really is

-Taylor

How can I possibly ask you to stay, when the only thing for you to do is watch guard over the wall I’ve put up- to keep you out

There's a certain pounding in my ears
Filled with the obscure thoughts
Firing off in my mind
Bouncing off each other
and changing,
morphing into new ideas
its all these unfinished sparks
that are keeping me up at night
Like, the old dusty roses
Begging me to prove them wrong
But I don't have power over the dead
Its like a one way street,
A car that doesn't go in reverse
Looking ahead,
Only believing in sunrises
Coaxing my mind to accept this absurdity
But i suppose i could go on forever
The thoughts just keep rolling in,
Like a salty ocean, silently beckoning
Always just trying to find an ending
In endless beginnings

-Taylor


The thing about confidence is I’ve had to learn it from others.
What a lucky thing to be born with.

It’s a strange thing
This company we crave
The rehearsing of phrases
And emotions
Forever striving to fit
Into the puzzle

But those inconvenient feelings
Distort our edges
Making us unusable

They cast us aside
And we painfully discover
How tricky this puzzle is.
Straining to crack the code.
Though its all just for show

Oh, but we do want to be beautiful.
So does it matter if all the pieces are unique?
We’re all just looking at the big picture anyway.

-Taylor

There is only one way to do this,
Abruptly.
Irrationally.
You know I won’t let the past repeat itself.
But why are you tempting it?
Allowing chaos a chance.
It’s all I can do, to put up my paper armor.
I can’t trust anything that has a disguise.
Won’t trust the beautiful snake
You think you’re its charmer…
I’m sorry you’re so easily deceived by beauty.
But I can see strength becoming just a novelty
A collector’s item,
Only for the ones rich in will power.
I know desperation isn’t a good look on me,
But I’ve worn it for so long.
And they do say… make an ugly face and it will stick.
I’m sorry to be so sorry all the time,
But my defense is failing me, and time is wearing thin.
Sorry to be sorry.
We’re all just stuck in this unnamed shape that,
Would give me up, if I told its secret
To be fair, here’s a clue
We all get one, one sad truth
Trust is not something I recognize anymore.
Beauty is not something I understand.
And love is a long lost concept.

-Taylor

Did I make it too obvious? Did you know this was for you?