As I lay in the bedroom,
My own personal confinement'
in which I oh so willingly created for myself,
I feel myself on fire,
My hands shaking out of utter frustration,
fighting every tear welling up in my eyes with all that I have left of my sense of mind,
But for what reason?
to be strong,
to reassure myself,
I ask myself what use is it to be strong if your utterly alone,
With no one to care weather your strong or not,
So I let go,
but just for a moment,
I allow myself to remember the pain,
the memories I locked away,
hoping someday they would cease to exist,
The troubling feelings that twist my heart and bring me to my knee's
letting out slow puffs of breath I calm my emotions,
wipe the water from my eye's ,
clear the tortured expression that once lay on my face,
I leave the moment and enter back into the world I made myself believe in,
I pretend to be strong.

There once was a friendship

A friendship that grew strong

One that was durable and could survive all that went wrong

The people in this friendship loved each other

through blood, tears, and depression

They stood by each others sides through

Spite, anger,and loss of affection

They fought for each others beliefs

Held each other when one felt weak

Trusted one another with everything

But eventually the day came

When their friendship wasn't the same

And they ran

Having each other to blame

For the once proud friendships decay

There once was a girl who yearned for what was lost

She wanted her friendship no matter the cost

So she gave up her pride

With a plead and a cry

She waited patiently for old friend to oblige

But to her surprise her friend still insisted she had lied

On the outside she shrugged and said at least I tried

But on the inside she knew the pain would not subside

That the friendship would be broken even after the day she died

Time goes on as your memory fades, Alzheimer's eating away at your brain

Stealing your happiness, Whilst leaving you frustrated, angry, in pain

As the days go by names and faces begging to blur

As the weeks weeks pass The faces and names forgotten

Birthdays, anniversaries, family, non existent

The continuing loss consistent

And though deep down I know I still wonder

Do you remember me?

But to ask that question, Do I dare?

Would it be nothing but a blunder

So I wonder in silence, I hope in silence, I leave everything i feel silent

The feeling of wanting to scream and cry, to hug my family and friends

To say something meaningful and deep

To make a fearless decision, Just take a leap

Because life and memories don't last forever

At any moment life can be severed

All this never said out loud

Pretending it doesn't exist makes me feel like I'm stuck in a storm cloud

that's surrounding me, slowly but surely making me unable to breathe

I feel my self gasp,

As I say the words out loud at last

Do you remember me?

I say this to myself

For now the feelings in my heart will remain on a desserted shelf

I have to be strong for the family who has lost so much

Do you remember me?

This would destroy the whole bunch