Maybe you don't want Jesus to help you. maybe you like the darkness and you like having no one there to pull you out of it. But that's not what was meant for you. you were meant to feel every blow of every bullet shot by ex-lovers and ex-friends. you were meant to feel the burn of your organs going up in flames because that's how he left it and that's how it'll stay until another comes along with enough tears in him to put the whole thing out. Hopefully he doesn't drown in them when he realizes that even though you aren't burning, you are charred and those charred insides cannot love him the way he's asking them to. and hopefully he doesn't drown you in them while trying to fix you because we all know you'd rather burn from the inside out than have your mind be rid of the very one who lit the match in the first place.