Silver Medal
Runner Up
Understudy
2 I C
Other woman
(just in case)
one number off
second place.
Not quite out
Almost not in
Deputy and Vice
11th out of ten.

Pepsi, Burger King
Futurama, Wings
All some of our
second favourite things.
Lazenby's Bond
Troughton's Who
Samsung, google+
Buzz Aldrin too
Just missing out,
'they made me choose'
Always coming second..
the first one to lose.

There are friends that I see everyday
And ones that will be months away
Friends that live on foreign shores
And friends that I should really call.
In my way I love them all…

But each should bring me ***** more...


Or maybe just sit and let me pour
out the stuff I usually ignore…

(though ***** will help there as well, I'm sure)

“Dear Lab,” started the angrily worded poem,



“We’ve put up with shenanigans and outrage and prats

And unfair bannings from you little rats.

We put up with no codes (quote) for our protection

And through it all you maintained our affection.



Now along you slither with your fancy new forum

And ask our opinion - just to maintain decorum -

but of our gentle requests: you deplore ‘em

Then leave all the mess to the red coated quorum.


pfft - Lab notified."

Sick of this life
Sick of the trials
Sick of the things that don’t make it worthwhile

Sick of the beatings and words that can hit
Sick of the men
who love other girls ****

Enough of the trying
To fit in at all
Enough of pretending I’m happy you call

You want my attention
But it’s just a farce
You really just want to be noticed by “****”

Which, incidentally, is a really **** way
To speak of the women
You *** to each day

In lieu of my island
With beaches and sand
I’ll wander away... by my own hand.

The folk they sit around the bar
And listen to my jokes so far.
I entertain the clientele
and pour another beer to sell.

The bills, they fill up my tip jar
as they go blah, blah, blah, blah, blah
I pull some sympathetic faces
And appropriately nod in places.

I listen to their tales of life
Some have three kids; some have a wife
Some have both, which makes it clear
why they spend all their time in here.

They tell me of their life of woe
or how their family’s make it so.
They speak of losing teams and cash
and utes they want to flip and crash.

I tell them that I understand
And place another beer in hand
The better that I feign concern
The more in untaxed tips I earn.

I like fishing, but dislike boats.
I'm sick of washing, but still wear clothes.

My brother-in-law hates the way I live my life.
My sister keeps the peace, the good little wife.
Mum, I haven't spoken to for many, many, weeks.
Another life, another town, it's solitude she seeks.
My common-law husband is wheelchair bound,
You can't jump puddles with legs that are round.

We own some land, the bank owns the house,
If we miss a payment, they kick us out.
You can't pitch a tent on the corner of the block,
Reading the small print--they own the lot...

Sailing and laundry, painful relations,
Mid-life crisis and petty celebrations.
Watching a loved one severe his spine,
Angry with friends, 'cause they're walking fine.
Another rejection or funds cancellation,
Penning a poem to vent my frustration.
Seeing the darkness in plain black and white,
A smile on my lips--This is my life...

I've been kicked in the head and punched in the face
was cut with a knife and bled around the place
My ankle's been twisted, my eye has been black
my knees have been skinned, my skull has been cracked
My appendix exploded, my kidney got stones
my ribs have been fractured, I've broke a few bones
My back has been burnt, my finger's been ground
Try harder you *******... I'm still around.