I am steadily thinning
             light blues holding me together
                                                      (t­rying to)
  a rambling wisp
                     nebulous and airy
I want to puff out my chest
    be abstract art
                              for your interpretation

  I look down at you
                         as you look up
                                                        I am dying
such is the cycle of it all
            I hope
                              simply
                       ­   that in my shedding
                                                     you will prosper
                  that when I rain down
                                                    you will catch me

or try to

How much do you think time would cost?
Would someone buy 5 more minutes during their final breath
Or 2 more years to your partner's lifespan
Others selling their hours in hopes of being rich
A birthday girl being gifted 2 more hours
A single father selling his minutes for some dollars
Being robbed of the minutes you just bought
Saving up your silver coins to buy your mother an hour
Priceless moments will outweigh all the Earth
In the end, will we realize time's real worth?

today is yesterday's hope
    but tomorrow
           tomorrow holds everything the past
hasn't seen

an oracle says omens
                                      are constantly presenting
if you just look
                             or listen

I've been looking all my life
and the message is clear
        tomorrow
        tomorrow will be my day
as soon as the clock strikes 13
                    it's my time

mom says safety and security are key
teacher says Maslow's hierarchy agrees
boss says money supplies all my needs
and I listen

I've been listening all my life
and the message is clear
job, girlfriend and car secured
renting but my space is home
owe 31,000 in student loans
but that degree, I own

fact check anyone with a fatter check
knowledge is an expensive throne

under foot
fertilizer whispers of fallen leaves
     not blackened or auburned
       by sweat or toil

light rests
  buried under compact soil
     silent and dense
     cold and unstirred
                                       forecasting winter

waking dreams are ground into dust
and tossed to stoic winds

pillars stand unmoved by clocks
          tradition and duty
          tradition and duty
          tradition and duty
                           swing hands in unceasing circles
do not let your light be fodder

  under foot
fertilizer whispers of fallen leaves
     as stars stare holes into your black

“You always play a female”
Line stated at game night
An observation of behavior
No one know rings hollow
I state I have reasons
But do not state one

“You always play a girl”
So close, but so far
How sad it is that my escape
Is how I can feel rooted
Inhabiting another just to feel at home

“You always play a chick”
Noted but not answered
A bitter confession rise
Tasting of bile, anger, and freedom

“You never play a guy”
I do but you just don’t realize
It’s what I do every day

“You always play…”
You spot the pattern but not the meaning

All I do, every day, is play

my shadows warn of looming undercurrent
   it is already here
familiar shackles                        ankle-biting
     at old touch points
feet trudge
                      heavy
                              ­    then light
                      heavy
                               ­                       then light

I cut my strings 2 years ago                                (some of them)

                                                      the crown tips

shedding is continuous
heavy
            light
heavy
            light
heavy
­            light
                           I am learning to carry it well
to march
                 — in spite of burdens
                                                       /excess is a burden
                                                       /my burden is light

a forced dance at my feet
  I shuck and jive
   for a reticent forest
leaves applaud                        trees are unamused
                 — they’ve taught me better

                                                   stop running
                                                      plant in it
                                                    breathe it in
                                                              ­                  winter is   here