word gets around
when you've slept with the town
I can't have the ****** morals
of a man?
she's a *****
how can you name someone
you don't know?

people talk
I just want to be loved
is that so terrible?
that I bring myself down so low
to be with him
them
someone

guess I shouldn't *******
on the first night
gives you the impression
that I'm easy
but I'm just sad
then I hate myself even more
after you finish and I lay there

you should leave
I don't wanna look at you
but don't leave me without
a kiss
don't leave me
please
please
don't leave

I drive you to drink
you drive me to
suicide
thoughts anyway
dramatic right?
you pick the best times
to kick me when I'm
DOWN
you are no wall I can lean on
I ******* despise you
right now anyway
I hate how angry you can make me
I want CONTROL
to control my own pain
I would hurt myself
pain: a distraction from
the pain you caused me
at least I could stop it
make it last
bleed
****
I ******* HATE YOU
I'm crying
I want to scream
I have these dreams of losing control
they have to hold me back
I want to lose all control
this house is not a home
home is me alone
and yet I'm lonely
I can't even keep up
on this energy
to ******* hating you

I am envolped in darkness
currently just I
searching for a dark soul
to join me
he will understand
my desires
my want for pain and love
his views as twisted as mine
understanding the earths flaws
digging at them
scratching
healing over time

I am not naive
but I see good in everybody
I wish
I dream
my heart is on my sleeve
I am alone with the world
with you
I feel you
your thoughts
pain
your energy
it surges through me
it drains me
but I am always open
never closed
I will always help
stranger or friend
I have been broken
but I still trust
too quick but I feel I must
No I am not naive
this world is beautiful
I must believe

Look at me
no really
look.
My eyes are speaking
listen
can't you hear?
I do not want to say
and I don't
my lips do not move
but my eyes
look
they're screaming
can you not see me?

to feel skin
on my skin
finger tips
trail down my body
follow the curves
lips touch lips
I have such a craving
a need
for human affection
I want to feel bliss
You're rugged hands on my hips
the urgent need to kiss
give me all
fufill my wish
touch me
taste me

love me
somebody...

You are still a thought
a picture
a memory
that crosses my mind

Time does heal but
does not erase
does not forget
things like your touch

I guess I can't let go like you
did so quick
replaced in flash
so it left a sting

I keep moving
on
pushing and waiting
for something better

I look forward to the day
I release all this
open to a new
me

without you
without your 'love'
your smile
without all that kept me holding

Men
are like french delicacies..

I've never understood
them

I have this desire to slowly tear apart
a small sliver of skin
slowly entrancing me
the once blue blood hits oxygen
then turns a radiant red
it trickles down I see

with the tiny piece of metal
that glitters so bright
shaped so perfectly for me
I invite my insides out
come out
I call to set them free

and I never can forget
when I make this choice
I'll have the memory
a beautiful reminder
a faint pink scar upon my skin
shows ever so slightly

I smile
as I hold back tears
I'm silent
cause if I speak, I'd choke
I sit by the fire
even though it doesn't warm me
I breathe
even though my lungs fight it
somehow, there is the smallest bit
of strong will
I can
I am
living with out you

and I heard the song you sang
but  
I never understood the hidden meaning
such a fool, I was
to be decieved
by your lingering voice

You're so beautiful
                                 when
                                           you
                                                   lie

lie here with me
                              tell me
                                         I'm everything
                                                                  you need
lets play pretend
                             love me
                                      **** me
                                                  hate me
tell me
              I
                  am
                         beautiful

I try to control it
I am shaking
my teeth grinding
and something worse than my anger
flows through my veins
it pulses and pushes
tearing and splitting
all that is my sanity

I ******* loose it

even your voice strikes it
like a match awaiting spark
then my lungs need more air
than I can possibly breathe
and my knuckles turn white
wanting to burst out of my skin

I ******* hate those memories

*why can't I let them go?

Forgive me Father
for I am lost
I used to know
who I was

Forgive me Father
I am un-pure
I used to protect
who I was

Forgive me Father
I am ashamed
I used to be proud of
who I was

And you see Father
my actions are cries
I am a stranger to
who I was

So lead me Father
I will follow again
and I will be better
than who I was

all over my body
all these bruises
from falling
in lust
not love

they cover me entirely
every inch of my skin
I can't hide
that I fall
too quickly

and they make those bruises
from love making
*******
it means nothing
I'm covered in bruises

Someday
my prince
     will ***..

and then so will I.

it's a phase
but I feel it's a disease
isn't there something that can cure me?


anything
please

Before the sun comes I see you
not always how I want to

I see her too
she has you

you consume me
even though
you don't want me anymore
even though
I want to
let go

She doesn't know you
like I do


So now I wait
for the sun rise
to close my eyes
but
I still see you
never how I want to

Your words are sweet
like honey
dripping from
your lips

let me taste you

mmm, your lies are sweet.

And I keep trying
to have hope
faith
something
anything

my hands are open
waiting to grasp
you
someone
anyone

but then the clouds come
they
cover me
completely
utterly

then the rain starts
so quickly
haunting
pouring
screaming

ugh, what a cliche
just me
all alone
in the rain
sweet rain

I let them lay me down
take a piece of me
forever-
it is gone

and I am searching
for affection
yeah, that's what I call it

shower it off
like it will rid me the memory
like the shame will go down
down the drain

tell myself, it's okay
maybe it meant something
no
don't lie
shh it's okay, don't cry

I lay myself down
give away a piece of me
I let them take it
it's gone.

Where the **** is my mind?
Am I lost between space and time?
I don't know you-
You look strange to me
familiar eyes but a different story I see
new scars and troubles, new hatred and pain
Who are you-
Have you no name?
familiar mouth but no smile
new memories, same trial
you're a stranger, I'm afraid
you wear discomfort as if you've been betrayed
Where the **** is your mind!?
are you lost between what is you and I?

Why do we grow up..
why do we all change
things were so simple, now they're so strange
high was on a swing
and love had no sting
nightmares weren't real and dreams not so distant
who knew it was like this
hurt was temporary, healed by a kiss
stories had happy endings, never a twist
two plus two was four, nothing more
now one plus one makes hearts come undone
scars and bruises were accidents
never ones own wish
there was only light, darkness
was hidden quickly and forgotten soon
the sun was a gift and you saw the man on the moon
memories never held you back or kept breath from your heart
it was so together, to grow and fall a part
new eyes for this world, a tougher soul
I never thought it'd be so **** cold

How can you forgive me,
when I cannot forgive myself
I'm sitting here
uncomfortable in this skin
my skin
our skin touched, fire
How can I be your fire
when our love has stopped burning
I am alone here
nothing but ash, my ash
the remains of our love
How does my heart still beat without you
I don't know how much longer I can wait
although I'll wait forever
till our forever
you said I was your forever
I never thought one person could change me
inside out
yet my heart is still on my sleeve
while yours, sits in a safe
give me the key please
your key
your heart
my heart is yours
deeply connected forever
perfectly imperfect as we
balance each other
I want no other
ever
ever
my heart and soul will not allow it

Have you ever danced with him?
The charming keane one-
Eyes as dark as night, strong broad chin
He moves straight and swift as wind

****** you- He does- so flawless
A smile to coy for the weak
Do you take his hand, such a risk?
For the touch of his lips would be your last kiss

Curiousity shall win you over
So simply disguised-
What mystery beneath him lies
To some so easily a surprise

Expected at the least, he will reach you
The music quickens in pace
Your heart beats, the last beat
The last spin, he took you- leaving no trace