Such a waste of

Such a perfectly strange and stimulating heart.

My patience runs dry but

Not without warning

You pass (me) and time doesn't pass (at all).
Honey, I appreciate the rose bush you planted
in the pit of my stomach. The blooms are darling.
But it makes it painful to breathe
when you pass, as you always do.

window shopping generally never amounts to much
too much too flashy too rare for me
look in with hopes of finding that special something
something tangible something material something of worth

feeling worthy of that designer item
that limited-edition-look-at-me-i'm-somebody-important
custom made name brand
i walked into the shop bold and haughty

snatched the hand you held your Americano in
and said I'll Take This One

my manic and i
don't mind
being just a stream of thoughts
in an otherwise estranged story

what does it mean
question
what does it matter
answer

we walk hand in hand
mutually confused but
comforted to have each other
my manic and i

he stares through those darling black eyes
without motion
letting the hot mug sting his palms
unknowing that i hurt for him too

he won't tell me but i know
he is seeing the breathtaking apparition
in the articles of clothing she purposefully left behind
Tormenting

Empty chairs
Empty little shoes
Empty evening gown crumpled red
Limp and invaluable

he stares and he stares and he stares
thinking of who once sat there

even if it all means nothing will come of it
i'll work hard

call his name

tells me that no
no no no please
a serious girl like me is not what you asked for
take me take me take me take it all

take a serious girl
pin her down
no thinking
none

it is so hard to say if i could be better
*please

so violent in all that you do

knuckles white veins desperate
water unwilling to go d o w n your throat

glass, slammed
hands grip fast, ready

forced breaths heavy breather
is what you've made me