#wordvomit - Hello Poetry

#wordvomit

Feeling like my mother Never finding a way to leave Holding any kind of affection close to me Feeling like my mother I hate seeing me, the body that I have is not feeding me I'm hungry for success, but it's too scary to see Discovering who I am meant to be Shriveled up in the corner Feeling ashamed to ask for help Mother like child Child like mother The apple that fell Feeling like my mother, I shout, Scared to take a leap, never believing in myself I'm swimming in a pitful of doubt Being observant pays the tole Soaking up her behavior, I'm an empty soul Copy and paste, such a waste, lost potential in the worst way Do I have it in me to go or stay? The apple that fell.

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Nov 13, 2025

Nov 13, 2025 at 6:51 PM UTC

Oddlyshapedpear

The apple that fell

Feeling like my mother Never finding a way to leave Holding any kind of affection close to me Feeling like my mother I hate seeing me, the body that I have is not feeding me I'm hungry for success, but it's too scary to see Discovering who I am meant to be Shriveled up in the corner Feeling ashamed to ask for help Mother like child Child like mother The apple that fell Feeling like my mother, I shout, Scared to take a leap, never believing in myself I'm swimming in a pitful of doubt Being observant pays the tole Soaking up her behavior, I'm an empty soul Copy and paste, such a waste, lost potential in the worst way Do I have it in me to go or stay? The apple that fell.

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Small minded men Cocky mouthed women I am surrounded by the whip of their tail ends Never saying or doing right Always willing to argue, to bite Maybe they're jealous of my light I don't know, I try to be kind Can I connect with no small mind? Is it better to lie? Smile and try Exhausted all of the time.

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Nov 9, 2025

Nov 9, 2025 at 3:39 PM UTC

Oddlyshapedpear

Small minded men Cocky mouthed women I am surrounded by the whip of their tail ends Never saying or doing right Always willing to argue, to bite Maybe they're jealous of my light I don't know, I try to be kind Can I connect with no small mind? Is it better to lie? Smile and try Exhausted all of the time.

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I seek shelter in the fortress of my heart Looking for you, wherever you are A tender spark that can make me fall apart Can also make me glow in the dark

0

Nov 9, 2025

Nov 9, 2025 at 3:37 PM UTC

Oddlyshapedpear

I seek shelter in the fortress of my heart Looking for you, wherever you are A tender spark that can make me fall apart Can also make me glow in the dark

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I feel weird because God forbid I stay ignorant…none the wiser of the Trusted Adult, that I think came with my mirror. I feel weird constantly searching for sense. More often than not wishing I were playing scrabble instead because it would really help, knowing which words I ought to look for. Weird this constant awareness about not living intentionally but not knowing what the alternative would look like for me either. Weird that I'm somewhat lingering at the start line and very confused about what MY race even is. So yeah, I feel weird about myself, about my life AND about how time just goes past, unsure why I’m getting to waste more of it away. I feel weird about my relationships, about my sexuality AND about my respective wants and needs. Struggling to put a name or prioritise to any properly. I feel weird. Period. Honestly, mostly that. I feel weird about myself because I stay WANTING to LIVE life, stay occupying and STAY never taking up my space in it. I feel weird about the 60 times I snoozed because I can’t seem to remember what else was so important at the time. I feel weird about the 24 candles on this cake because in the background, everyone is counting down from 10 (again) instead. I feel weird about the 7 pairs of shoes I own because the “new” ones don’t look all that different from the others. I feel weird about the way I seem to slightly linger in the dark and about why Im not more alarmed by what I can’t see. I feel weird about not connecting… NOT knowing how else to describe it, because at times, I’m feeling a little too much and at others, nearly not enough. I feel weird, because it’s mostly the latter, and there are a lot more “periods.”, at the ends of things that never truly began. Things that weren’t there for me to claim as mine and things that could have been but can’t say for sure now, because I was too busy latching on to the next. I feel weird, Acknowledging I might be both the problem and the solution and YET…

0

Oct 23, 2025

Oct 23, 2025 at 10:32 PM UTC

I feel weird because God forbid I stay ignorant…none the wiser of the Trusted Adult, that I think came with my mirror. I feel weird constantly searching for sense. More often than not wishing I were playing scrabble instead because it would really help, knowing which words I ought to look for. Weird this constant awareness about not living intentionally but not knowing what the alternative would look like for me either. Weird that I'm somewhat lingering at the start line and very confused about what MY race even is. So yeah, I feel weird about myself, about my life AND about how time just goes past, unsure why I’m getting to waste more of it away. I feel weird about my relationships, about my sexuality AND about my respective wants and needs. Struggling to put a name or prioritise to any properly. I feel weird. Period. Honestly, mostly that. I feel weird about myself because I stay WANTING to LIVE life, stay occupying and STAY never taking up my space in it. I feel weird about the 60 times I snoozed because I can’t seem to remember what else was so important at the time. I feel weird about the 24 candles on this cake because in the background, everyone is counting down from 10 (again) instead. I feel weird about the 7 pairs of shoes I own because the “new” ones don’t look all that different from the others. I feel weird about the way I seem to slightly linger in the dark and about why Im not more alarmed by what I can’t see. I feel weird about not connecting… NOT knowing how else to describe it, because at times, I’m feeling a little too much and at others, nearly not enough. I feel weird, because it’s mostly the latter, and there are a lot more “periods.”, at the ends of things that never truly began. Things that weren’t there for me to claim as mine and things that could have been but can’t say for sure now, because I was too busy latching on to the next. I feel weird, Acknowledging I might be both the problem and the solution and YET…

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divine serpent twisting her lungs burning the sheets because she likes the taste of ash on her tongue an angel would shred his wings just to get the chance to dive into her lake all repenting is done on the knees, i breathe, i break shatter and mend hazy pools evaporate when the curve is just over the bend writhing, like cyaninde does in my veins savagery and bliss do consummate in this battle of a lover's only cellmate

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Apr 4, 2025

Apr 4, 2025 at 8:16 PM UTC

divine serpent twisting her lungs burning the sheets because she likes the taste of ash on her tongue an angel would shred his wings just to get the chance to dive into her lake all repenting is done on the knees, i breathe, i break shatter and mend hazy pools evaporate when the curve is just over the bend writhing, like cyaninde does in my veins savagery and bliss do consummate in this battle of a lover's only cellmate

Continue reading...

As I wander through the muted streets, I see reflections of gray in every glass, and shadows that linger, stretching over silent corners, darkness pooling where light once fell. I can bear this endless grayness; it’s just the weight of thunder, a temporary gloom that will someday lift. The sun will return, and all will be bright again, for clouds are fleeting, and storms are only visitors. But then, there’s the abyss. I feel it calling to me, its darkness profound, an endless gaze that seems to follow, unblinking, as if it knows the shape of my thoughts, as if it too remembers the light but chooses otherwise. In that gaze, I wonder, am I alone? Is this sorrow my own, or does it belong to us all? I reach out into the silence, asking if these shadows are a universal curse, or if they mark only my path today. And yet, I believe in the mystery of each soul, the ways we are alike and still so unknown, woven into the fabric of our hearts. I cling to the thought that no one else feels quite like this, not today, not as I do. So for now, I hope, I pray that these shadows find only me, that the burden is mine alone to bear. Let the darkness spare you, Seunghan, just for today. Let it rest with me.

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Oct 14, 2024

Oct 14, 2024 at 3:30 AM UTC

Today, the sky is cloaked in clouds.

As I wander through the muted streets, I see reflections of gray in every glass, and shadows that linger, stretching over silent corners, darkness pooling where light once fell. I can bear this endless grayness; it’s just the weight of thunder, a temporary gloom that will someday lift. The sun will return, and all will be bright again, for clouds are fleeting, and storms are only visitors. But then, there’s the abyss. I feel it calling to me, its darkness profound, an endless gaze that seems to follow, unblinking, as if it knows the shape of my thoughts, as if it too remembers the light but chooses otherwise. In that gaze, I wonder, am I alone? Is this sorrow my own, or does it belong to us all? I reach out into the silence, asking if these shadows are a universal curse, or if they mark only my path today. And yet, I believe in the mystery of each soul, the ways we are alike and still so unknown, woven into the fabric of our hearts. I cling to the thought that no one else feels quite like this, not today, not as I do. So for now, I hope, I pray that these shadows find only me, that the burden is mine alone to bear. Let the darkness spare you, Seunghan, just for today. Let it rest with me.

Continue reading...

i wish i never liked women, there’s so much going against it anyway. i’m a coward. i hate myself. i hate myself for wanting to be selfish, while knowing in the same thought that i’m the most selfish woman in my life. but if being selfish means someday i could look into your eyes several sunrises in a row, it couldn’t possibly be that bad. to see the meadows of wheat surrounded by moss in your eyes makes art from here to infinity look like mud. i would untangle the thorniest bush i could find if it meant your heart was in the middle. i can already imagine my thumb brushing a smile onto your lips, my hand cupping your cheek, while the softest nothings are exchanged. the thought of you, and everything you come with moving into my life sounds like a dream. but it’s not one to come true. i don’t get to let myself get lost in your eyes, running through meadows. my head knows that, my heart strings still wail, i try to quiet them. give them a drink… or a few. but after the glass is empty they no longer have anything to occupy them. and they sing your name again

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Jun 17, 2023

Jun 17, 2023 at 11:53 PM UTC

i wish i never liked women, there’s so much going against it anyway. i’m a coward. i hate myself. i hate myself for wanting to be selfish, while knowing in the same thought that i’m the most selfish woman in my life. but if being selfish means someday i could look into your eyes several sunrises in a row, it couldn’t possibly be that bad. to see the meadows of wheat surrounded by moss in your eyes makes art from here to infinity look like mud. i would untangle the thorniest bush i could find if it meant your heart was in the middle. i can already imagine my thumb brushing a smile onto your lips, my hand cupping your cheek, while the softest nothings are exchanged. the thought of you, and everything you come with moving into my life sounds like a dream. but it’s not one to come true. i don’t get to let myself get lost in your eyes, running through meadows. my head knows that, my heart strings still wail, i try to quiet them. give them a drink… or a few. but after the glass is empty they no longer have anything to occupy them. and they sing your name again

Continue reading...

31/12/2022 It’s the last day of the year, and I’ve had one extra depressive episode because a 21 year old noped out, apparently I’m demiromantic and have never had a crush need a strong connection, when it’s there – it’s nothing to reckon with, had I known I’d have put more space between us, taken it slower rather than convincing myself I have control, as it slips I’m leaving another lover, wretched with stench I look at their face in old pictures, becoming afraid at their void expression, beard they refuse to trim for me so I daydream and I know like, I know now, with therapy that there is no magical himbo to save me, no delusions about that, no boo, no more but I also know I deserve some ******* comfort after the hell, oh the hell I can’t broach, if I **** it will burst like a yolk, I’ll be dead by morning, oh and he’s so beautiful his eyes on me, his cautious fingers, fear and shudders makes me feel like my best was not just good enough my best was fascinating. I want to tell him about my songs, mixing in studio 1 I wanna duet, and melt, I want him on his knees at random words, I want that worship, wanna feel his piercing on my everything, want to give that worship not just in a word document, so I daydream, I get to. I ******* get to if I need it, daydream about whichever thing will never happen if I need it. I will not be shamed for surviving I will not be blinded to an oasis for the chance it’s a mirage, I need to get from place to place, boo What shall I do as I heal? Drink? Drugs? ******* cigarettes? did you know the internet says I’ll die at 67? Little more than half now my life is not shortened by zoning out - If I want a muse I will have a ******* muse, and he can think I’m crazy along with the rest of them, **** if I care, I want him to come here. I want to ask him questions, reasonable questions because I know I would: is this an impulsive decision? have you broken up? how long ago? are you in therapy? I am **** demisexual, even in my mind, especially in my mind Do you want me or do you want polyamory? Because I can be anyone, and I have already been an experiment for some guy, ‘fore he gets a bi curious, monogamous girl Because we can grow alongside one another, but not fix each other because you need to process because if you’re with her, she wouldn’t have a reason other than “my boyfriend really wants to” and that is the worst reason for polyamory, and I am not nor have ever been in the business of hurting people with intent (excluding grade school, ((I’m sorry, Martina – double sorry you died from leukemia,) excluding when you c o n s e n t )), I’d like you to answer all of those, then maybe I get to hold you. That’s my daydream. Holding you. Watching films, you commenting on them the way I’ve done and annoyed all of my lovers. how your neck would smell how your hair and head would feel in my hands how you’d shiver and breathe shallow, and how easily I could make it calm. and yeah, subspacing you and using your body, I am not entirely ace.

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Feb 21, 2023

Feb 21, 2023 at 12:21 AM UTC

Polyamorous word ***** daydream shenanigans

31/12/2022 It’s the last day of the year, and I’ve had one extra depressive episode because a 21 year old noped out, apparently I’m demiromantic and have never had a crush need a strong connection, when it’s there – it’s nothing to reckon with, had I known I’d have put more space between us, taken it slower rather than convincing myself I have control, as it slips I’m leaving another lover, wretched with stench I look at their face in old pictures, becoming afraid at their void expression, beard they refuse to trim for me so I daydream and I know like, I know now, with therapy that there is no magical himbo to save me, no delusions about that, no boo, no more but I also know I deserve some ******* comfort after the hell, oh the hell I can’t broach, if I **** it will burst like a yolk, I’ll be dead by morning, oh and he’s so beautiful his eyes on me, his cautious fingers, fear and shudders makes me feel like my best was not just good enough my best was fascinating. I want to tell him about my songs, mixing in studio 1 I wanna duet, and melt, I want him on his knees at random words, I want that worship, wanna feel his piercing on my everything, want to give that worship not just in a word document, so I daydream, I get to. I ******* get to if I need it, daydream about whichever thing will never happen if I need it. I will not be shamed for surviving I will not be blinded to an oasis for the chance it’s a mirage, I need to get from place to place, boo What shall I do as I heal? Drink? Drugs? ******* cigarettes? did you know the internet says I’ll die at 67? Little more than half now my life is not shortened by zoning out - If I want a muse I will have a ******* muse, and he can think I’m crazy along with the rest of them, **** if I care, I want him to come here. I want to ask him questions, reasonable questions because I know I would: is this an impulsive decision? have you broken up? how long ago? are you in therapy? I am **** demisexual, even in my mind, especially in my mind Do you want me or do you want polyamory? Because I can be anyone, and I have already been an experiment for some guy, ‘fore he gets a bi curious, monogamous girl Because we can grow alongside one another, but not fix each other because you need to process because if you’re with her, she wouldn’t have a reason other than “my boyfriend really wants to” and that is the worst reason for polyamory, and I am not nor have ever been in the business of hurting people with intent (excluding grade school, ((I’m sorry, Martina – double sorry you died from leukemia,) excluding when you c o n s e n t )), I’d like you to answer all of those, then maybe I get to hold you. That’s my daydream. Holding you. Watching films, you commenting on them the way I’ve done and annoyed all of my lovers. how your neck would smell how your hair and head would feel in my hands how you’d shiver and breathe shallow, and how easily I could make it calm. and yeah, subspacing you and using your body, I am not entirely ace.

Continue reading...

Sometimes I think all I do is word ***** Thoughts, feelings spread across a page Occasional regret following them It all makes me question my mental state Sometimes I think I should stop writing Communication, questions come to an end Quieting my mind But it still keeps coming, words falling out

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Feb 11, 2020

Feb 11, 2020 at 1:21 PM UTC

Sometimes I think all I do is word ***** Thoughts, feelings spread across a page Occasional regret following them It all makes me question my mental state Sometimes I think I should stop writing Communication, questions come to an end Quieting my mind But it still keeps coming, words falling out

Continue reading...

betrayal is a dance discouraged, yet you still take my hand to a melody misunderstood, the rhythm becomes lost within the loneliest liar lying safe tonight

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Jul 28, 2019

Jul 28, 2019 at 4:05 PM UTC

betrayal is a dance discouraged, yet you still take my hand to a melody misunderstood, the rhythm becomes lost within the loneliest liar lying safe tonight

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I am but a prisoner to your affections I am: Self Shackled Noose Tied Hanging on to your every word. I dare not speak, For when I do, Rivers of rot, Spill out unto you.

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Feb 5, 2019

Feb 5, 2019 at 7:27 PM UTC

I am but a prisoner to your affections I am: Self Shackled Noose Tied Hanging on to your every word. I dare not speak, For when I do, Rivers of rot, Spill out unto you.

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here i sit here i stay here i will cry til i slowly waste away if to breathe is to drown to drown is to sing a drug that can **** can heal a king here she sits here she stays here she will cry til she slowly wastes away if to crawl is to sink to sink is to fly a man that loves god can hate his own life here he sits here he stays here he will cry til he slowly wastes away

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Oct 24, 2018

Oct 24, 2018 at 7:48 PM UTC

here i sit here i stay here i will cry til i slowly waste away if to breathe is to drown to drown is to sing a drug that can **** can heal a king here she sits here she stays here she will cry til she slowly wastes away if to crawl is to sink to sink is to fly a man that loves god can hate his own life here he sits here he stays here he will cry til he slowly wastes away

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Often the words “I’m fine” slip from my mouth. I can no longer tell if I actually feel this way or if it is just a sense of numbness in my body and I don’t want those around me worrying about me. My problems have never mattered much to anyone. I’ve always felt alone in the way I am feeling and I know it sounds cliche but the way people respond when I tell them this is even more so. They tell me “You’re not the only one feeling this way”, “Don’t complain someone else has it worse” or my favorite of all “I am here for you”. Very seldom are people actually there for me. They may say they are, they might actually surprise me and make the effort once and be there for me but never is it a continuous feeling of someone being there for me. My life has been complete trash for the past year. My mental health is getting worse and worse and my depression is spreading to all corners of my body. It’s like I’ve been diagnosed with a cancer you can’t see, Except for mine is not physical it is mental. I hurt constantly. I smile and I believe I am happy but after a while the smile fades and like a rush of wind my thoughts come back to me. I think of everything I did that day and all of the embarrassing things I did. Wishing, Hoping, praying I could take those things away but what’s done is done. I can’t take away all of the embarrassing and gut wrenching things I did that day. The way I think and the way I act is probably the reason why I don’t have any real friends around me anymore. The only friend I ever wanted to be around moved and now I am alone. I hate the new people I hang around. I like my friends from work but I they’re always busy and I know one day I will never see them either. I will barely be a blip in the minds of the people I know now in the future and some people might find that terrifying but I find peace in it. I don’t have to be here and people would be okay. I am not needed, I make no difference in people's lives and I am content with that. I could say ***** off” to the entire earth and no one would even be affected by it. And I find complete and total peace in that. Even if feeling lonely rips my body to pieces, at least I am finally numb to it.

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Oct 23, 2018

Oct 23, 2018 at 2:23 PM UTC

A Numbness I’ve Been Feeling for a While

Often the words “I’m fine” slip from my mouth. I can no longer tell if I actually feel this way or if it is just a sense of numbness in my body and I don’t want those around me worrying about me. My problems have never mattered much to anyone. I’ve always felt alone in the way I am feeling and I know it sounds cliche but the way people respond when I tell them this is even more so. They tell me “You’re not the only one feeling this way”, “Don’t complain someone else has it worse” or my favorite of all “I am here for you”. Very seldom are people actually there for me. They may say they are, they might actually surprise me and make the effort once and be there for me but never is it a continuous feeling of someone being there for me. My life has been complete trash for the past year. My mental health is getting worse and worse and my depression is spreading to all corners of my body. It’s like I’ve been diagnosed with a cancer you can’t see, Except for mine is not physical it is mental. I hurt constantly. I smile and I believe I am happy but after a while the smile fades and like a rush of wind my thoughts come back to me. I think of everything I did that day and all of the embarrassing things I did. Wishing, Hoping, praying I could take those things away but what’s done is done. I can’t take away all of the embarrassing and gut wrenching things I did that day. The way I think and the way I act is probably the reason why I don’t have any real friends around me anymore. The only friend I ever wanted to be around moved and now I am alone. I hate the new people I hang around. I like my friends from work but I they’re always busy and I know one day I will never see them either. I will barely be a blip in the minds of the people I know now in the future and some people might find that terrifying but I find peace in it. I don’t have to be here and people would be okay. I am not needed, I make no difference in people's lives and I am content with that. I could say ***** off” to the entire earth and no one would even be affected by it. And I find complete and total peace in that. Even if feeling lonely rips my body to pieces, at least I am finally numb to it.

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Came back from work today...I'm not allowed to fix any mistakes All I keep doing is thinking and thinking and its driving me down down down into the full yet empty darkness settling down comforting the silence and yet Ive never screamed louder crying in a distant commotion confused about my own morality tragedies happen every day and yet I'm not happy You can't expect me to be smiling Depression comes and goes like your shadow Gathering all the thoughts you have and then molding them into a weapon shoving them down your throat suffocating until you croak over over over game over . . . then theres a light shining above you begging you to step back in the weight on your feet pulling you into a darkness without end how did this all begin when will this ever end end end end e.. n.. d..... s o m e t i m e s o u r m i n d i s a s p a p e r t h i n a s o u r *s o u l *

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Sep 13, 2018

Sep 13, 2018 at 11:09 PM UTC

Came back from work today...I'm not allowed to fix any mistakes All I keep doing is thinking and thinking and its driving me down down down into the full yet empty darkness settling down comforting the silence and yet Ive never screamed louder crying in a distant commotion confused about my own morality tragedies happen every day and yet I'm not happy You can't expect me to be smiling Depression comes and goes like your shadow Gathering all the thoughts you have and then molding them into a weapon shoving them down your throat suffocating until you croak over over over game over . . . then theres a light shining above you begging you to step back in the weight on your feet pulling you into a darkness without end how did this all begin when will this ever end end end end e.. n.. d..... s o m e t i m e s o u r m i n d i s a s p a p e r t h i n a s o u r *s o u l *

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I said a few stupid things Like, incredibly stupid. So stupid, in fact, that I wish I never said it in the first place. I have this condition It’s called spouting bullshite disease. And it affects the people around me when it gets triggered.

0

Mar 20, 2018

Mar 20, 2018 at 4:02 AM UTC

I said a few stupid things Like, incredibly stupid. So stupid, in fact, that I wish I never said it in the first place. I have this condition It’s called spouting bullshite disease. And it affects the people around me when it gets triggered.

Continue reading...

how do you start a poem it's been so long i remember how to let the colors do the talking textural inflections of what's internal except i have a hard time expressing pain and sadness in color because i love colors and that has left me with a lot of ends i can't weave in so now i'm trying to remember how to write a poem guess i should start like this

0

Aug 6, 2017

Aug 6, 2017 at 10:07 PM UTC

how do you start a poem

how do you start a poem it's been so long i remember how to let the colors do the talking textural inflections of what's internal except i have a hard time expressing pain and sadness in color because i love colors and that has left me with a lot of ends i can't weave in so now i'm trying to remember how to write a poem guess i should start like this

Continue reading...

Only is the time that sets upon my mind for not but the sun is rounding the hour and the shadows of our fathers are coming to a close. So see I am she who showed the sands of lands unknown to the conquerors of beastly means and wept upon the fire that consumed the wild things in life.

0

Jun 8, 2017

Jun 8, 2017 at 1:10 AM UTC

Only is the time that sets upon my mind for not but the sun is rounding the hour and the shadows of our fathers are coming to a close. So see I am she who showed the sands of lands unknown to the conquerors of beastly means and wept upon the fire that consumed the wild things in life.

Continue reading...