#womanhood
i turn 22 in 34 minutes.
the rain is falling outside my window, distant.
surrounded by loose notes, a hairbrush, my cuddly toys, i start to pen.
it is so beautiful to kiss goodbye to another year.
it's proof that i withstood another storm of life,
with its tears and tantrums and smiles and heartbreaks.
half shells and jacket pockets,
chestnuts and pebbles,
i oscillate between being whole and incomplete.
the oldest i have ever been, and yet the youngest i have ever felt, in many ways.
a spinning sycamore seed, sent adrift by soft breezes
that ruffle my hair like a mother's touch.
my hair is so long now, holding so many memories.
i no longer feel the familiar urge to cut it all off with the kitchen scissors.
my nails are long too,
etched in chipped cerulean.
my tummy curves gently over the loops of my jeans,
my eyebrows, unkempt, require shaping with a spoolie in the mornings.
perhaps what i'm trying to say is
i no longer try to cull my growth.
i just let myself be.
i hold every version of the girl i have been in my palm
like a braided chain of silken strands,
wrap them neatly around my wrist
and let them graze against freckle, sunspots, ink stains.
the rain is still trickling,
my bed is still a mess.
i have a slightly misshapen winnie the pooh tucked under my arm;
his rough skin is a testament to the many years he's served my sleep.
i wonder how he'll look in a year, maybe five.
i wonder if he'll still be in my grasp, or sitting next to another baby,
a new cousin, second cousin, a niece.
not a nephew, unfortunately; he's only ever known girls.
girls like me, who love so deeply that no state of disarray
could ever deter them from keeping hold of cherished things.
girlhood is like a paper streamer lying on the sofa the morning after a party;
crinkled, outstretched, pastel pink.
never forgotten, or worse, discarded,
merely brushed under a carpet or stuffed in a cupboard,
to be found when we next try to hoover or clear out.
i carry streamers and braided chains and pebbles and teddy bears in one arm,
and a laptop, a coffee cup and a sensible jacket in the other.
i am, at once, all and nothing.
i am, at once, present and distant.
i am myself; i am always a girl, treading the whispering cracks of womanhood.
i turn 22 in 18 minutes.
i have a lifetime left to unfurl every petal of my being.
i am anxious; but i'll stay patient.
as long as there is rain that can fall,
there is water for growth.
2d ago
Jun 1, 2026 at 6:46 PM UTC
~
Her first rain above sea level.
Staring at her pale reflection
in the display window;
drab as fashion if melting ice.
Her name was Tranquility;
here they call her "Joan,
who lives in wetland alcoves."
With language barrier
between her and liars,
she is mute,
an aberrate stranger.
She longs for unsure blue
from a land of look behind;
but the stars above are only smears
into endlessness.
So much she cannot know.
Third pass, overcast,
off the coast
whales wave goodbye;
that sinking dance,
that breathless pulse,
for each one knows the plague
of their own heart.
It all leads to approaching epilogues
that only ever react,
but never instigate.
If they're not pushing
against anything,
they lose momentum.
A quiet doorway awaits;
light patterns turn to waterfalls
—a careful ecstasy.
Dropping her clothes in the street
at the meeting of waters
—Tigris and Euphrates,
she is one fathom apart from
a head first dive
through all the imaginary,
paleozoic years.
And just like that,
the past disappears
with a sweep of her tail.
The sea is once again her shelter.
5d ago
May 28, 2026 at 11:23 PM UTC
The other week, I ate a banana at school.
I peeled it from the top, like always.
Someone once told me monkeys peel them from the bottom, but I don’t really believe that.
Recently, I saw a TikTok of a girl saying she didn’t dare spit out her toothpaste while her boyfriend was in the room.
I break my banana into small pieces with my hands, like always. Taking a bite would be easier. Not feeling watched would be easier too.
How can eating a piece of fruit look wrong?
At home, I eat my banana normally. I’m not afraid of men. I’m not afraid of other people’s opinions either, and I’m definitely not afraid of what people think about the way I eat a piece of fruit.
And yet, I still break my banana into pieces. I never just bite into it.
May 25
May 25, 2026 at 6:36 PM UTC
I never believed my mother when she would say “they are just jealous of you”
I thought that you and I had rose above that
That our bond was stronger
That we were somehow above women who didn’t support other women
I never would have believed it until I saw the look in your eyes
The way you lifted your chin up in denial, to act haughty instead
The humour, the deflection
I never thought of myself as someone who had things that would inspire envy but I suppose
The way my partner adores me without provocation, when you had to ask yours
The blessing of motherhood, although it didn’t go as I expected, it is still mine
I wonder if you’ll ever admit the pain that you are in or
If you’ll just stop looking at me all together to avoid feeling it at all
May 4
May 4, 2026 at 7:54 AM UTC
I have always been big busted.
Puberty arrived like an uninvited guest, dropping off gifts I didn’t request. Two teardrop shadows, soft and bold, settling in like they’d always been trusted.
They swing in motion, always drawing attention, yet somehow remain obstructed. Trying to cover up is no easy art; sometimes you long to dissolve into the crowd, stripped of all zest. Each day I walk a fine line, tucking my two friends into the cell society calls a bra, and they always seem insulted.
The wires are hard, the straps are rigid and it always needs to be adjusted. No need for my friends to wander and offend the air,
so the bra stays fastened until I go to rest. It makes no sense,
yet still they conspire,
popping each blouse and dress button just to be confronted.
My two friends tumble and ache, but still, I can say I was never stunted. The two full, gentle orbs, soft yet strong, pull at my back, like a jest. Family reminds me that womanhood is a key, for my two wide companions are lovely and lusted.
Not everyone is the same, and when I complain, no words come out, only as if I grunted. Beauty is hard, wild and untamed, so why do we always begin with the breast? Most people just want to see the glamorous side which leaves me utterly disgusted.
I have always been big busted. I think I’m done complaining, so I’ll finally put it to rest. Young ladies aren’t allowed such passionbut I never listen, even when instructed. All I mean to confess that it’s a burden on my chest, yet I’m a woman speaking plainly, and a voice that can be trusted.
Apr 16
Apr 16, 2026 at 5:54 PM UTC
Hold the pink ribbon over my eyes
The one holding my hair in a perfect bow
Black suits, black shoes, black ties
Black coffee and a pink ribbon, to-go
A pop of color in an office
In a school, a city, a world
I have the same position as you
But you only see that my hair’s curled
With my black suit, black shoes, black tie
Pink ribbon tying my cute up-do
Though I’m not monochromatic
I am exactly the same as you
Apr 6
Apr 6, 2026 at 8:51 AM UTC
She presents herself,
the entire myth;
the story of a woman
whose broken limbs
will be chopped off
with his long knife, and this
is the principal ******
She was being cursed —
in the dim interior I saw the power,
I can still see her dancing,
a secret life she cannot stop
sharpens her; she cannot stay
too long in lesser-known stories,
made handless
the culture around her
requires sightlessness —
Her eyes are rolled back
in horror.
Good, clean, ***** fun
was contraband, so I kept it
in an empty place
surrounding the memory of a woman
learning the strength of exile
Mar 24
Mar 24, 2026 at 11:03 PM UTC
You’ll wake up thirsty for life
and know you must want to be drunk on it.
That a few tiny sips of freedom
are not for a woman like you.
So you take the river instead of a road.
Let solitude sustain you for as long as you need.
In case you forget, being called into
the freezing holiness
of the reefs drowns you electrified
in the poems
that keep you breathing.
In light of desire, get devoured
like a favorite book
and worshipped a thousand times harder.
Say exactly how you need to be loved.
Instead of dwelling on fuckups,
break the glass
and let everything that was ingrained into you fall to pieces.
Go out after dinner
and come home with a lover,
or one pathetic cigarette with a story.
Get your passport and fly far,
far away from where you grew up.
In case of fire, soak in Spring
and take in slow mornings.
Let it rip, the sun luring you to step out
ready for both rage and whimsy.
In praise of revolution,
lie down with the growing pains
of becoming. You will shed the old you.
For every new you, there’s a new pearl.
Listen more. Kiss your scars.
Wear your shade of rouge.
Show some skin.
Rest, for the love of self
must take place.
Rejoice, and oceans of it
will follow.
In time for celebration,
find more of us, we are blooming
mountains and oceans plenty.
Remember that your voice echoes
within many, many women.
Give them the pearls.
In lieu of searching for a god,
look at what makes you glad
to be here. Don’t go back.
You will never be alone or empty,
I promise.
Joy will set you free.
-tinya
Mar 22
Mar 22, 2026 at 7:43 PM UTC
Some where, some place in my mind
I pretend not,
back laid flat on a tree branch reading Sylvia Plath
Feeling the warmth of sunrays trying to come through the leaves, like when I was in the arms of my mother the night before she disappeared
How could tranquility be lavishly elusive?
ironically
at present we call reality
where time is uncontrollable and actions have consequences,
where happiness does not last long
and where pain and death are inevitable
What could possibly be there for a woman like me?
Historically devoid of emancipation,
anticipated without evolution
Where creativity is madness
and vulnerability is nothing but weakness
I guess I have none left in me but love,
a kind of love I have chosen without thinking it through
Not brought by fate or made of rose-colored glasses
a love suppressed from those with scathing eyes
even from my father’s cognisance,
because you see I could not break his heart
no matter how it inclined me to cowardice and doubt
This made me not want to witness the conclusion of this affair,
like the last part of a film when it is time for the credits to roll,
where it would leave you longing and melancholic that it has to end
But how long do you think it would mend?
because I know how deep it would leave a scar
and it terrifies me to the bone that I may not be able to recover this time
Mother, Sylvia and Elizabeth,
if only you have an answer to this contemplation
because here I am in my thirties,
still a prisoner of my own decisions
wondering if there is more to this life and if this void will ever be filled
Albeit, a part of myself would return,
on those days when there was a reason to be happy
I would find you and me
in all our silliness and simplicity
and that short lived moment was for me,
our eternal sunshine of the spotless mind
If only it would remain eternal...
Because how do I avoid this impending tragedy?
I never want to imagine nor dream of the agony,
of roaming alone in this dyad orbit
the countless nights of crying myself to sleep
and falling into the abyss of a future unknown to me
It would happen one day,
that very one thing I am certain at least,
that eventually you would have to go
from this idyllic fortress we have hidden for so long
I could only pray by then,
that for once you believed that we loved
leaving a piece of ourselves with one another as we move on with this life
Thank you for being a part of it
for letting me experience your vastness
surrendering to my reasons,
no questions asked
May we mend and blossom in a rush
I would always utter your name in a hush
until we finally meet a different version of us
Mar 17
Mar 17, 2026 at 3:21 PM UTC
I am caught staring
in a moment of childlike innocence
gawking like a toddler
dumbfounded by radiance
and beauty and womanhood
at the fiery hair
furiously burning
erupting from an explosion of
gloriously untidy sweeping locks
born from copper
of a seated woman with bent knees
who seems to be staring straight through me.
I shudder and look away
shy and embarrassed
knowing fully well the sin I have committed
suddenly filled with shame
guilt and sadness
as she senses I am envious
of her undeniable sexuality
and distinct beauty
and cool confidence
and innate femininity
and she begins to furrow her brow
eyes filling with contempt.
Feb 6
Feb 6, 2026 at 2:24 PM UTC
They have been gathering under apple trees since ancient times
They reach with their ***** hands toward the apples
They tear each one off
The wormy ones
The unripe ones
The rotten ones
Each one is good for them as long as the pick it themselves
They sink their teeth into each one and then discard it
Because who would want a bite-marked apple
They pay no regard to the thorns that protect the apple tree
They pay no regard to the bitter taste
They have a right to the apples just as their ancestors had a right to them
And when they sink their teeth into their next prey
The pulp of the apple tree runs down their fingers
mixing with the blood of sinners
The blood of sinners who take what does not belong to them
The blood of sinners who hurt those whose voices are not yet developed
The blood of sinners who hurt those whose voices are already too old
The blood of sinners who hurt those whose screams tear their eardrums
The blood of sinners who hurt those whose screams are too quiet to hear
The blood of sinners who hurt those who give life to others
Because the apple tree is a woman, and the woman is an apple tree
Jan 28
Jan 28, 2026 at 1:23 PM UTC
She lingers in between,
Where girlhood loosens its grip
And womanhood hasn’t claimed her yet.
Her body learns weight.
Her heart learns wants.
Nothing fits—
Not her reflection,
Not her voice.
She feels lost.
Yet, she is merely forming.
Quietly, painfully,
Into herself.
Jan 2
Jan 2, 2026 at 12:11 AM UTC
i am so selfish
in a sense that i refuse to watch myself
being ripped apart to create—
not in the way i’ll always long for,
but in a way that takes so much from you.
mentally, physically, emotionally;
it’s only nine months, they say,
yet they don’t see the nine months and after,
and after and after and after and—
the longer nights, the losing of yourself,
the way you become unable to prioritise
anyone else but your creation.
they call it a blessing sent from God,
but my God, You’d rather see me happy… right?
i am so selfish
in a sense that i get a lump in my throat
when they question how that isn’t my lifelong goal—
to settle down, to build a house
with little feet running through the hallway,
the joy, the love, the ‘softness’ of it all.
it must fill me with so much warmth, they insist!
i’d rather puke out my guts
than imagine that future forcefully intertwining itself onto me.
“it’s a long-term investment,” they say.
someone to care for you when you’re old.
a return on years of sacrifice.
proof that suffering was worth it.
but why must an investment hurt this much at the start
and keep hurting
long after the beginning is over?
why must it break you
before it ever gives back?
that doesn’t sound like love.
that sounds like a scam.
i am so selfish,
and i’d rather be,
than force myself into motherhood;
children i know i cannot bear
to love, to give my all,
when i can’t even fully provide for myself.
the thought of;
“would my children resent me too?”
because as the eldest daughter,
i’ve seen enough to know.
i’ve been the second mother.
it will never, ever end.
so yes, i couldn’t care less if i’m selfish.
because the only way for me to be selfless
is by choosing myself;
by refusing old stereotypes,
old cultures, old mindsets.
this is the only way i choose.
and let my womanhood be defined
by the choices i make for myself;
in my selfishness i grow,
i learn to love only me—
the person i should have been protecting
all along,
and the person i’ll keep choosing
forever.
Dec 23, 2025
Dec 23, 2025 at 10:10 PM UTC
From Northern seas—
a pointillist dream; a woman of lithe measures descending into the sensation
—a noun rather than an adjective
Her ideology—
blowing across infinities of sand
—provides imperfect warmth
to her hyacinths
and nethers
There's something terrifically
oceanic about it—she starts out
softly floating and then
whips herself up into
a gorgeous, overbearing squall
She can tell that there are storms
in each and every pore—but
the difficulty of teasing out
their contours reinforces
the impression that this
is private skin
Dec 20, 2025
Dec 20, 2025 at 2:50 PM UTC
She was the woman I adored
She was the woman I've always
wanted to be
She is the woman who shines
for she learnt the lessons of the universe
She is the woman defined by
unique beauty like no others
She is the woman I used to mirror
myself to
She is the woman who made
villains graceful
Until I looked in the mirror
and saw
I've always been
Her.
Dec 1, 2025
Dec 1, 2025 at 3:01 PM UTC
nine months.
a woman can grow a whole life
in that time,
but all i grew
was a headache diary
and a tolerance
for opiates
strong enough
to make me forget
my own name.
i learnt to sleep because
of the drugs
and survive
through the pain,
spent my days off
imagining
what a hammer could do
with a nail.
nine months later,
i finally sit across from him —
the neurologist.
the kind of professional,
who doesn’t need to
review your record
to have a diagnosis.
i tell him where it hurts,
when it comes,
the way it burns.
he tells me no.
he says, i’m wrong.
he types without
looking at me.
do you have any children?
i say,
no.
and without thinking,
without blinking,
without care,
he types:
not yet.
like i’m an unfinished woman.
a body of a waiting room,
inevitable,
late
to an appointment
i haven’t booked.
i leave thinking,
my god,
men will find a way
even in your most
agonising moments
in life
to remind you:
you’re a vessel
with unfulfilled duties,
currently on standby.
Nov 30, 2025
Nov 30, 2025 at 4:03 PM UTC
I "run like a girl".
That's what they told me
on the school yard.
I didn't take steps big enough.
I wasn't like a boy.
I "talk like a girl".
That's what they said to me
when I was telling a story.
I talked too much.
I wasn't like a boy.
I'm "too weak".
That's what they said to me
when I asked to help carry chairs.
I was a girl.
I wasn't like a boy.
I'm a "man-hater".
That's what they called me
when I defended women's rights.
I believe in equality.
I am a woman.
I'm "radical".
That's what they yelled at me
when I said pro-choice.
I want safety for women.
I am a woman.
I am "too strong".
That's what they told me
when I took care of myself.
I don't need a man's approval.
I am a woman.
I am a woman.
I am not a man.
I run like a woman,
I talk like a woman.
I am strong like a woman.
I am caring like a woman.
Because I am not a man.
Nov 21, 2025
Nov 21, 2025 at 2:37 PM UTC
I dangle heavy and low on my Mother’s limbs
Gravitating towards the earth below
Her arms outstretched
Ready to let me go
I hold on
Looking down to see
What is it that awaits me
Figures salivate with hands cupped
Anticipating when my lush form
Will plunge into forlorn palms
Now I await a fate unknown
In bitter silence
A stark contrast to my
Sickly sweet interior
No longer a bud
No longer a juvenile
I am whole and desirable
Ready to be picked
Nov 19, 2025
Nov 19, 2025 at 10:39 PM UTC
She’s walking with a buggy.
Her coat fits her body perfectly.
I wonder if she felt like a mother,
trying it on,
liking her shapes,
when she bought it.
Nov 12, 2025
Nov 12, 2025 at 3:58 AM UTC
Many of us, we
women have many selves, esteemed
for our fertile skin, pregnant with worth
tightly held
hostage, bound and tied
up in roping expectations, tethered
to womb’s empty ache, yearning
to have just one more self, if only
to be more than just a woman, wasted.
Many of us, we
women? just want to be
counted.
Oct 23, 2025
Oct 23, 2025 at 4:31 PM UTC
i was taught to respect men,
to do as they pleased.
whatever they wanted —
labour, trust,
kisses, hugs,
all tasks to complete.
i was taught to be present
and think about
what to cook, what to clean.
improving the home
was my responsibility,
my duty:
wife/woman.
chores weren’t lessons
to prepare me for adulthood.
they were the unwritten contract
for a gig i never booked —
emotional provider,
on call for life.
i was told
to wither the storm,
that it would pass
once he went to bed,
that who i really was
could emerge then,
unsuppressed.
i was told to think small
and never dream,
focus on finding decent company,
settle and provide grandkids
so they can grow up
in the cycle i did.
i tried to obey,
i swear.
but it never fit.
i wasn’t born
for the sake of men.
i exist,
but only
for myself.
Oct 4, 2025
Oct 4, 2025 at 5:19 PM UTC
I am still capable of ****** springs
and rivers with waters so clear
you’d never know how shallow
the bodies are buried,
how thoroughly I poisoned the well
Oct 4, 2025
Oct 4, 2025 at 8:31 AM UTC
periods are not that bad.
except when it feels like
i’ve split my spine
on concrete.
if it was something
men had to go through,
they’d get paid leave.
once a month
for at least a day.
i’ve taken codeine,
my brain is fuzzy
but it doesn’t stop the pain.
i can feel my pelvis
snap like a twig
as i turn at my desk —
still, somehow,
with a smile on my face.
thing is,
sometimes it’s not that bad.
it hurts
like a storm of glass
piercing through skin
but we do what’s expected
without talking about it.
but on days like this,
when i’m half in my grave,
and, i wish i was joking,
i’d really appreciate
if someone,
anyone,
just took out
this decayed,
rotten thing.
i find myself
praying
for that sort
of sorcery to exist.
anyone?
Sep 28, 2025
Sep 28, 2025 at 10:45 AM UTC
The woman and the girl
are one in the same
She finds joy in wall rainbows,
And loves the rain
She makes crockery
Imprinted with dinosaurs,
She likes shopping at thrift stores
For clothing that screams whimsy -
Beaded necklaces,
dark velvet
And cute embroidery
Videogames
With quests primeval,
And moral threads
That aren’t so medieval
They whisper,
“There’s more to the journey
than simply good vs evil.”
The void still exists -
That gaping abyss
Cold as glass,
But weightless
It does not pull now
She can stare all she likes now
It's all but a fascinating sight
There is no question
Whether to stay,
Or to go
Eleven was such a long time ago
Aug 30, 2025
Aug 30, 2025 at 6:26 PM UTC