#unloveable
I have an addictive personality
In one way and more
I’m an addict for sure, not for ****** or crack not something easy like that
No I’m an addict for love
And yes I know every addict right now is grinding there teeth wishing to tear me a new one
***** uttered through gritted teeth
And that’s fair I’d say, I’m sure it ***** I’ve never been addicted much
just *** smokes, alcohol and such
I don’t know, not really how hard it is but what I can say is this
I wish I was an addict to something that would actually **** me
See an addict they need it always and can’t get enough
Fill their veins till they see heaven with that stuff
But the love I crave you see
it never brings me ecstasy
just half hearted hope that one day I’ll see
someone won’t tear up and spit out what’s left of me
It’s not a high I can control and it leaves me wanting something awful
It takes away my breathe but forgets to give it back
I’m so use to walking around gasping living through a pain that’s worse than a heart attack
**** if I could be an addict I think maybe, yes I would
****** would be a friend that would never leave me like he could
Hell if somethings going to run like acid through my veins
eating ravaging through my brain
taking away anything sane
Than Jesus ******* Christ let it be something that actually kills me not takes me dancing in the rain, breaks my heart and looks at me like I’m the one to blame
Let it be something I can claim
Cause this love **** is exhausting and I’m tired of the pain
Give me one giant shot of bliss and let me leave this plain
Because the next time I can get a hit
I know it’s going to feel like ****
But my hearts an addict, it won’t quit
I’ll give all that’s left to be their perfect fit
Apr 21
Apr 21, 2026 at 7:12 PM UTC
my parents dont love me.
i was an accident.
a mistake.
concieved while they were drunk.
they love my siblings
all of them planned, beautiful, and smart
they could never do anything wrong.
in my parents' eyes.
maybe it's because they weren't prepared
for a second kid.
as they were the first,
third, fourth and fifth.
but not the second.
maybe it's my fault.
after all everything i do is wrong.
i cleaned it wrong.
i made it wrong.
i said it wrong.
and everything i do is bad.
my grades are bad.
my height is bad.
my hearing's bad.
maybe its because
they don't want a broken child.
depression. anxiety. autism.
SI. SH.
who could be more broken
compared to the others?
maybe they were relieved
when i was born half dead
did they really want me here?
maybe they did.
so they could have a scapegoat.
or an example of how not to do things.
or an example of stupid.
My parents don't love me
and they never will.
I'll always be an obligation
and a financial burden.
Oct 4, 2025
Oct 4, 2025 at 10:57 PM UTC
I dismembered myself
trying to find
which parts aren't loveable
which parts made everyone leave
May 27, 2025
May 27, 2025 at 2:31 PM UTC
To you hopeless romantic,
You wander these empty halls wishing to fill it with love
You dream of love meeting you on Saturday with roses and a coffee date.
But it's not your fate.
To you unlovable,
Do you really believe in love?
You who never felt but have been told how magical it is…do you think its true?
You wanted to feel needed but never really liked the ‘I really like you’ feeling.
How long has it been since you had some type of meaning?
To you unlovable hopeless romantic,
It feels like your not worth anyone’s time
Broken seems untrue but you now can’t deny that you really built walls a bit to high
You have so much love to give and there’s no one
Don’t wander so far down the dark empty halls
There’s always a bright open door
But how long can you really wait
when you know all the doors are tightly closed
Aug 23, 2024
Aug 23, 2024 at 8:53 PM UTC
a fear of my worst nightmare,
possibly coming true.
is just too much for me to bare,
and it would be the same for you.
my heart is damaged beyond repair,
i couldn’t be more blue.
you left me in despair,
when you found someone new.
Oct 3, 2020
Oct 3, 2020 at 12:22 PM UTC
I'm sorry
You have to see
That I don't believe
You love me
Jul 26, 2020
Jul 26, 2020 at 12:04 AM UTC
The wrong, as always, was the right for us,
tainted trust stained with the blood
of our previous victims;
those whims of wondering what loving touch could feel like.
It burnt us, softened us to smoke,
that floated quiet out the door before dawn could break the news
and break the illusion.
We were loners,
Devoted to laying the stones of our own path,
Never held back tangles of commitment.
Without them we were untethered dreams
that broke into reality and made ourselves the monarchs
of our lowley, lonely kingdoms.
Look what those whims
have done to our crowns;
Rusty and bent they fall hapless
on our heads as we stand before
crowds of shadows cast by our egos.
There are no romances, no capes,
Princes or heroes in this land of the leftovers.
Only us
The wrong adorned as right
The deniers of the light of love
(That weakness of giving in and giving all).
How cold it all becomes when our dreams are big
but hearts are empty.
Jun 28, 2020
Jun 28, 2020 at 4:10 PM UTC
He sleeps while I lay awake
No news.
I think this is the nature
of boys.
How many times have I lain awake
while a boy I was ******* slept?
Sometimes when you are faced with absurdity
All you can do is sleep.
I think I've made a terrible mistake
but this isn't the first time I've felt
this way.
I am not to be trusted.
I don't think I've slept in nearly two years.
Instead closing my eyes only in the merciful combination of desperation and design.
Last night he went to sleep at 12:03
I listened for his breaths to slow.
I rubbed my feet together
softly;
In near panic.
And didn't turn on Josh Ritter until
12:33.
Aside:
Falling in love =/= being in love
Life is all about lessons. Choices.
🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶
I never felt alone until I met you.
🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶
Not alone like this.
Do you dwell in this space also?
Am I less alone in at least that much?
Sleep softly, babes.
Apr 3, 2020
Apr 3, 2020 at 2:04 AM UTC
Year 1
neglect
what-is-love ?
a falling-star
guilt & shame
more of the same
Year 2
neglect
what-is-love ?
a falling-star
guilt & shame
more of the same
Year 3
neglect
what-is-love ?
a falling-star
guilt & shame
more of the same
Year 4
neglect
what-is-love ?
a falling-star
guilt & shame
more of the same
Years 5 -
I love school!
Maybe I'll find a new mom!
Sep 12, 2019
Sep 12, 2019 at 5:51 AM UTC
He treated her different.
He gave her the love she deserved
and the attention she was deprived.
He was different
because he cared.
He didn't make her feel uncomfortable
or force her if he did.
He loved her different
and made her aware.
He felt a knot when she held his hand.
She felt blessed
and he had good intentions.
So, maybe he just got bored
or maybe it was all forced.
He took her trust and worth
and held it so tight,
and so safely.
So, how did this happen?
How did he manage to hurt her?
Maybe even with all good intentions,
She just doesn't deserve love.
Dec 18, 2018
Dec 18, 2018 at 8:54 AM UTC
I'll tell you
i’m incapable of being loved
because in-fact
i don’t love myself
quite enough
to be loved
by you
Aug 26, 2018
Aug 26, 2018 at 7:44 AM UTC
you can’t love someone like me
someone so poisonous
who will ruin everything good in your life
you can’t love someone like me
someone without remedy
you can’t love someone who isn’t capable of loving . . .
Aug 24, 2018
Aug 24, 2018 at 2:38 AM UTC
It is easy to see that I'm flawed
Yes, it is splayed out for all to see
I am hopelessly co-dependant
Utterly disorganised and depressed
Stupidly ridden with anxieties
(Thus awful at living in the moment)
Easily distracted but not detached
And yet, deeply submerged in love
As you're my favourite thing
About myself
And it is easy to see that I'm loved
Or at least it should be, although,
You do remind me the right amount
For me to feel... not so lonely
Not so unloved
Not so unloveable
Aug 12, 2018
Aug 12, 2018 at 8:21 AM UTC
All the voices here and there.
You are worthless screamed everywhere.
My thoughts scold me for the past.
She I knew you couldn't be in a relationship that last
Remember all the nights you spend together?
******* ****
Hope you never get out of the depressed rut.
Go take another pill.
Drink till your guts spill.
Achohol poisoning might do you well.
That was why our relationship fell.
I got a habit.
One that became an addiction before I could grab it.
Remember the time the girls came and jumped me?
Left me there bleeding?
Yeah that was fun.
Who helped? No one.
I'm pathetic.
I'm a lunatic.
So drugged up I cant think straight.
So high I can't do great.
I'm an idiot.
Should have never slept with her.
She was my murderer.
I'm an idiot.
Apr 12, 2016
Apr 12, 2016 at 12:48 AM UTC
While I was sleeping,
He took my trust.
While I was dreaming
He was all about another to lust.
Apr 12, 2015
Apr 12, 2015 at 1:16 PM UTC