#unanswered
I built a hospital in my chest
and waited for one familiar voice
to come and prove I was still worth saving.
Even when others knocked,
even when hands reached in,
I kept the door chained to your absence.
Because love is irrational like that
it kneels before ghosts
and calls it loyalty.
I was not asking for miracles.
Just recognition.
Just proof that I did not imagine myself into your life.
But silence has a personality too.
And yours wore it like armor.
Now I understand:
not all absence is temporary.
Not all names deserve to echo in my recovery.
Still, I loved you.
Still, I do.
But I will not build my healing
around a door you never learned to open
Apr 23
Apr 23, 2026 at 8:03 AM UTC
I hate myself.
I hate my life.
And today…
I think I hate God.
Because trusting Him feels like the worst mistake I’ve ever made.
I gave Him everything, every prayer, every tear, every fragile piece of hope I had left in me.
And all I asked for…
just one thing.
Just one.
But instead of an answer, He shut every door in my face.
Not gently. Not quietly.
He slammed them, one after the other, until I had nowhere left to stand.
I prayed. God, I prayed.
I begged until my voice turned into silence.
I believed when it made no sense to believe.
And now?
Now I feel like I’ve been abandoned.
Because how does a Father watch His child break like this… and do nothing?
How does He stay silent when I’m screaming inside?
They say God loves everyone the same.
But it doesn’t feel like that.
It feels like He picks favorites.
And today…
I’m not one of them.
Mar 25
Mar 25, 2026 at 3:14 PM UTC
I reach for your presence,
but only grasp the nightmares held at bay,
while my dreams drift away.
Why do I crave your essence?
One day my questions will be answered—
but not today, not tomorrow,
maybe soon.
Mar 19
Mar 19, 2026 at 6:09 PM UTC
there's hope in goodbyes
as they say, a chapter ends —
a new one begins.
but i've come today with a different tale —
take it as a story,
a broken poem,
or an unsent mail.
got a couple good phrases,
jumbled up —
only i know the feeling.
can't seem to sense entirely
their origin,
and so i'll try to pen them down,
hopefully bring them a meaning.
no, i ain't broken-hearted,
and no, i ain't going through the same period —
but this comes from the perspective of all those.
let me specify —
a character from the movie i recently watched,
a person on the roadside i walked upon,
a stray cat who waited —
since forever, it seemed —
for her babies to talk,
and millions of those
who waited for something
that wasn't there at all.
a closure.
an answer.
a little bit of understanding.
but here i am,
left to question it all —
especially your disappearance.
those unanswered texts,
the quiet ache,
the agony of play pretend.
ghosting, the new age calls it —
was that even an ending?
there's a bittersweet melancholy,
hoping for something that's barely there,
yearning with the i'm doomed realizations,
and the gentleness with which grief
seems to give me a hug —
it is rare.
i'd wished it could be like
waiting for letters in a war —
knowing they would meet the soldiers
even in their fall,
knowing there was someone writing,
waiting upon them.
i've never been waited for,
held,
promised —
been just a lost cause.
the world resonates with such:
echoes of conversations,
words left unspoken,
unseen messages
pretending to be left unread.
people fading from each other's lives
like mist in the mornings,
fungi growing on breads.
i've talked to silence,
left by my own.
quite a few said goodbye,
most left me forlorn.
i stayed —
same places,
old memories,
holding onto things
that didn't plan on returning.
the destinations became ghosts of the past —
yet i kept writing to the same addresses.
a few didn't even leave —
just faded
into sweet little nothings.
hope, hope,
oh this dear solitude —
hope remained despite the static.
i'm stitching this up
with the remnants of what i once was.
this ain't no monologue,
written in the melancholy of not chosen —
left for yet another job.
an irony,
a metaphor,
no reasons — just because.
i intended to keep it
as a piece
that reminded me of being haunted —
with the memories,
and the facts,
and the presence of a human
that held me to the edge.
and yet,
i find no anger,
no resentment,
no ill will —
no praying of curses to befall and end them.
there's only love,
perhaps longing —
belief that if it existed,
it had the right to be termed
as ended.
only if there was a full stop —
just like at the end of phrases,
sentences,
and even chapters —
a single dot.
it could have helped me move on.
but no —
i'm left,
standing in the middle
after being promised to be met halfway.
never intended to be here —
i'd said so in the first place.
one-sided letter,
bonding,
or heartache.
there's acceptance in solitude.
i'll wear the letters of goodbye,
despite knowing
you never said it.
please don't return
only to tell me —
despite no closure —
it was the silence
that aged.
May 24, 2025
May 24, 2025 at 4:43 PM UTC
I can accept the feeling
Even tho it breaks my heart
I can accept the feeling
But ill never get the answer to why
I am like this when he's with you
I can accept the feeling
Or at least that's what I tell myself
Cause I can't escape tears and the pain they put me through
I can accept the feeling
I'll let it eat me alive
I can accept the feeling
Maybe that's why I feel numb..?
I can accept the feeling
But I would never accept the pain
Cause it turned my sadness into fifty different shades of grey
And I will accept the feeling
Of failing the things I wish the most to come true
And I'll let it devour me
Like I never let anything through
To get to my feelings and to help me keep you
So I will accept the feeling
In order to keep on having you
I learned to accept the feeling
When I most needed to
I learned to accept the feeling
Just to understand what I'm going through
It wasn't nice, it wasn't easy
But I learned to accept the feeling
Even tho it brought me pain
I learned to accept the feeling
Just so I don't lose you
Oct 2, 2024
Oct 2, 2024 at 11:56 PM UTC
My heart speaks,
Through constellations
In the popcorn ceiling
"You ask too many questions",
It says
Apr 29, 2021
Apr 29, 2021 at 10:42 PM UTC
I need to get away,
I can’t handle these feelings anymore
Two people with so much love
And nowhere nearly enough to give
I want you and you
But I hate you and you
And at the same time I need you and you
Run with me
No! Stay ******
Don’t follow me
But please don’t let me be alone
Everything
will be alright I know
In my mind
In my heart
Sep 5, 2020
Sep 5, 2020 at 7:51 AM UTC
Did you find the answers
were they quick and keen?
defined and eloquent of words
such as, you've never seen?
Have your questions sated
all the meanings that were confused?
is there any doubt or reason
or were you beaten, and abused?
Living in the world today
no way to know it all
too much is not seen, or heard
as puzzlement afore
the final
fall
Aug 25, 2020
Aug 25, 2020 at 10:17 PM UTC
wanting to be seen,
wanting to be heard.
all I've ever wondered,
all I've ever learned.
is that it's too much to ask for,
that it's too much to give.
why then do you take from me
in every hour of your need?
Jul 16, 2020
Jul 16, 2020 at 2:48 PM UTC
Do you love me?
Eagerly, all-consuming?
Do you crave my touch?
Dream of my kiss?
Do you whisper my name?
When you’re alone?
In hopes I’ll show up?
Could you survive inside?
Without me?
Or do you love me lightly?
Do I make a pretty center-piece?
To your life?
Does my food taste good?
Do I feel warm?
Am I home every night?
Am I welcoming?
A comfortable place?
To lay your head?
Jul 10, 2020
Jul 10, 2020 at 12:39 AM UTC
all my questions,
were all unanswered.
when will be the time,
i can finally go outside,
and be free,
knowing that i have
all the answers
to the questions i've
been looking for?
for so many years,
i tried to search.
for all the answers,
that my questions longed for.
maybe, i should've not tried
to find the answers,
but to just sit down,
and think,
that i,
am the only one,
who answers all the
questions i've asked.
Jun 27, 2020
Jun 27, 2020 at 11:49 AM UTC
Is R E A L I T Y even R E A L ?
Lately I can barely even F E E L .
I'm trying to F I N D ,
Why I've had a battle in my M I N D .
I watch as people L I E ,
Leaving the others to just sit and C R Y .
Humans are evil, we let others H U R T ,
And although it's not okay it makes them A L E R T .
I guess everything has a R E A S O N ,
Just like each and every S E A S O N .
So to answer my own question, L I F E is R E A L ,
And it's quite a big D E A L .
May 12, 2020
May 12, 2020 at 4:11 PM UTC
Miserable I am, stucked.
My mind's wynds, entwined.
Inside burning, being indecisive.
Attempted to decipher, all in vain.
A maze unsolved; the unsaid pain
Perplexed **** thoughts' umbra
Darking in pursuit of seeking.
The more they amalgamate;
the more I Separate
Wretched. Same do all bear?
Distracted by despair;
I ended up nowhere.
Apr 18, 2020
Apr 18, 2020 at 4:42 PM UTC
why do we have
to fix a heart
that we didn't break
in the first place?
why do we need
to suffer from
the pain caused by
someone else's disgrace?
why do we need
to share a kiss
with someone's worn
out pair of lips?
why do we have
to share the pain
of a stillborn future
and past what-ifs?
why do we stay
if we're not the first?
why do we have them
at their worst?
Mar 4, 2020
Mar 4, 2020 at 9:51 PM UTC
decided
what had you waited?
ended
did it ever started?
treated
are you okay now?
Jan 28, 2020
Jan 28, 2020 at 10:09 PM UTC
Would the question still be beautiful
If you knew the answer?
Jan 1, 2020
Jan 1, 2020 at 12:13 PM UTC
i knew we wouldn't talk each day,
someday,
like we are used to now.
i didn't knew that it would,
just happen, like that
without a fight from your side,
without a reason for not letting me stay
it was the person in you that i mourn for
a person to whom i could
ask anything
say anything
cause i knew, i was understood
without ever justifying
i mourn for this person, i really do.
whom i supposed to blame other than fate?
but the heart would have felt better,
if you just tried
a bit.
Aug 22, 2019
Aug 22, 2019 at 4:51 PM UTC
The most unanswered question!!
What is life, what is our purpose in life? No one has a none doubtful answer and none thinks about it, cause no one can answer it, so we avoid it like the plague...
Aug 20, 2019
Aug 20, 2019 at 6:27 PM UTC
Why can't you hear me?
I used to wonder if you could.
Why are we speaking?
I used to wonder if your words were stories.
Why are we climbing?
I used to wonder if the world could fall.
Why did you say we were the story?
I used to wonder who was reading.
Why did you tell me we were dreaming?
I used to wonder if I believed you.
And I do.
So tell me this.
How do I wake up?
If I'm dreaming, wide awake?
Jul 20, 2019
Jul 20, 2019 at 3:07 PM UTC
I gave you my time
I gave you my love
I gave you my mind
But what did you give me?
Apr 18, 2019
Apr 18, 2019 at 12:35 PM UTC
You were always the first person I told.
But for some reason, you were the last person to know.
Why did you do that?
Choose to not know me.
Feb 24, 2019
Feb 24, 2019 at 4:15 AM UTC
I sleep on sheets covered in beer and carry boxes of bottles to the trash room, boxes and sheets and smells that could get me in trouble with the people who wear uniforms
And I put my head on the shoulder beside me and everything is sweat and stale alcohol and three am and I was supposed to do more homework tonight. I was supposed to get more done and go to bed so much earlier.
But here I am, tired and lying beneath Kenyan blankets, atop Blue Moon covers, lightly taking your phone off your chest and setting it away as you slip into sleep beside me
Here I am, bringing you trash bags I bought with my own money, carrying a box of illegalities I didn’t drink to the recycling, leaning into your flanneled embrace in the Sunday morning quiet of the hallway
I will take care of you, no questions asked
I will always take care of you
Before sleep’s waves, in the dark, holding my hand to yours and telling you that I am here to talk— and knowing you will never take me up on it.
Asking you questions because it’s my job, and you say I do it too well, and we both know that that avoids the question in the first place.
I will take care of you, asked questions unanswered
It is 3 am on a Sunday, and I will take care of you
Always.
Feb 11, 2019
Feb 11, 2019 at 12:00 AM UTC