#stubborn
even when my lungs have shredded
and my throat is dried to the extreme,
i'll tell you over and over.
but still you refuse to adhere
to your ears
and you carry on anyway.
will it take ten thousand others
to have you give me
even a decibel?
or maybe if beg and beg
you'll feel a pinch of
responsibility to listen?
i think i'm about
to tip over
from the disillusion that's
accumulated.
i ask you yet again
for once would you
just listen?
May 3
May 3, 2026 at 9:10 PM UTC
"I miss my favourite bird",
I wrote, tired, in my little book.
Happy chirps of feathered friends,
Echoing through my gardens,
Brightening the atmosphere,
As they hunt berries in the cold.
They say there's plenty of fish,
In the vast immensity of the sea,
That is probably true, but water,
Has never really been my element.
I prefer the air, as the skies,
Offer tender lightness, unlike the abysses.
Then you blabbered those words,
"Plenty of birds are flying in the skies".
I won't contradict you there,
Mister "know it all" seems,
To be on point this morning,
Ten points for Gryffindor.
I'm still a stubborn kid at heart,
Saddened by the doomed day,
When the sweet ice cream lady,
Informed me all too lightly, that no,
I couldn't have my raspberry ice cream,
And proposed instead vanilla or chocolate.
The skies felt dark and heavy that day,
The kid ran away on the rainy paths,
Pouting at the mean world, screaming,
To finally find shelter at the foot of a tree,
Home to many birds, singing gracefully,
And spent hours witnessing them dance.
Time might have passed, evolved,
But the kid didn't and still wants,
His scoops of raspberry sorbet.
Who likes chocolate anyway...
Jan 17
Jan 17, 2026 at 9:39 AM UTC
You can pull canines for his resistance
Throw bones for his obedience
And in the wake of your shaking ****** fist
He will only grin
Bones untouched
In all his toothless glory
Nov 18, 2025
Nov 18, 2025 at 11:57 PM UTC
Avoidance isn't random,
It's terminal – a sickness.
Maybe she's a coward;
She will run with a quickness.
Avoiding confrontation,
A great fear of the scold.
Avoiding a man's closeness,
Forever painted as cold.
Ignoring all the warning signs,
Choosing to go about her day,
Then disaster strikes–
And she's mad she ever stayed.
Never trying game modes,
Slight fear of who she'd see.
Forgetting the connection,
Remembering still stings.
She's just a ghost now,
Inner thoughts barely seen,
Just four walls and herself,
Tapping away at a screen.
Oct 24, 2025
Oct 24, 2025 at 6:29 PM UTC
If I’m a walking lesson,
well, you never learned to read.
We waste away the hours,
you just take and take to feed.
You claim that I am guarded,
all traps and tricks to test,
but you charge ahead so reckless,
never slowing, never rest.
You bleed against my defenses-
spikes, blades, and trap doors.
Yet instead of asking questions,
you argue who hurts more.
If I’m your greatest lesson,
the one you won’t discern,
is it that you fear to stay here,
or to leave and ache, and yearn?
Sep 15, 2025
Sep 15, 2025 at 1:40 PM UTC
hats call to be filled but i am not in fashion for them-
-clear days in any-which-season and i shall pay-
-the rays will fire away at my forehead and neck-
-unprotected i'll crinkle in some cancerous answer-
-and belch anger ungrateful and blame out at the world-
-warning beacon to probably only a few immediates-
-we're heard before and ignored as there's so-
-much inflammation of knowledge clut-
-and damage readings of our species byproducts-
-we just shut down or ghoul up merry mad
May 21, 2025
May 21, 2025 at 10:06 AM UTC
You and your romantic ways, your countless list of reasons, your lovely lilac haze
Shadowed only by your fears there's not a universe where I stay.
Battled me.
And all my disarray
The timing and the distance, my thoughts that force resistance.
My lack of patience sure put up a fight, and mix her with my temper and we'll be here all night.
My fear, always ready to run, pulling me back behind the wall I built, away from the warmth of your sun.
May 15, 2025
May 15, 2025 at 10:34 PM UTC
30 days ago, I set a challenge for myself:
__No *** for 6 months.__
I am on day __31.__
That means there are __149__ days to go.
This is
_the single_
__most idiotic__
decision I have made in a long time.
Feb 6, 2025
Feb 6, 2025 at 9:53 AM UTC
A wild rose is a lasting thing
Growing amongst the ruins
Full of life despite neglect
And you know the place one blooms
A wild rose is a pretty thing
To decorate your room
All pink and leafy splendor
To cheer away the gloom
A wild rose is a thorny thing
Its vines tear you apart
You can’t grasp it directly
Work gently towards the heart
Push aside its catching strands
Leave the petals strewn
Take the freshest flowers
For more will blossom soon
A wild rose is a stubborn thing
You may plant it if you dare
Take a cutting from its base
But make your choice with care
For a wild rose is a feral thing
You can’t charm it to your will
Forever spreading beauty
Is its nature to fulfill
Aug 20, 2024
Aug 20, 2024 at 3:45 PM UTC
now
and then
i like
to turn off
the lights
let the moon
and instinct
guide me
swallowed
by the dark
there is no path
to choose
only chance;
blind luck
balancing upon
the finest of lines
eyes will adapt
to the pitiful offering
of the clouded crescent
but
there is neither
enough silvery light
nor confidence
to be sure
of safety
for long
in the enveloping darkness
anxiety rises
fear overpowers
and faith
in the self
becomes questionable;
headlights
are flicked on again
in panicked haste
as the road
and its obstacles
become clear once more
i am left
wondering
if i truly believed
i could navigate
without the help
being offered
or
if i simply
wanted to
force myself
into failure
Apr 18, 2022
Apr 18, 2022 at 5:08 PM UTC
Sometimes it feels like I hold you in the palm of my hand
You’re too stubborn to stay seated, you’re too scared to stand
So you lean on impulsive promises, a thousand planted seeds
Plant yourself halfway through the doorway and throw away the key
And look to me to water your garden
A consideration I haven’t yet bought
And you need me, now you need me
I’m not so sure that’s what I want
Aug 5, 2021
Aug 5, 2021 at 2:08 PM UTC
I bleed heavy snow....
not because now my heart is cold.......
because her actions told......
me the truth and I continued to follow.......
down the dark hole.....
even when she gave up she knew that I would still hold......on.
I can’t drink myself to death, I can’t eat anymore, I tried to make my bandages out of steel.......
so I could no longer feel....... anymore. Now I walk around with my feelings......
hiding behind this cold steel.....
over the wounds that cover me.
I pray for the light......
I pray for the day that I........
can lay down my armor, for the day I can feel vulnerable and strong.
I don’t want to die........
I just want things to make things right.
I faced death, I’d walk through hell for her.
The demons don’t mean anything to you when the vision of completing the unity is your energy.
You breath this destiny,
you eat this destiny,
you bleed this destiny,
and even when they stop, you carry their dead corpse, .....
YOU ARE their life support.
You finish the mission because you gave your word.......
The rough part of being a Taurus is even when you expect peace from the ashes , the memories of failure still burn.
Jan 26, 2021
Jan 26, 2021 at 5:46 PM UTC
I am not stubborn. Rather , I am
nothing beyond a soul who can't
dare to rebel against her own inner
voice.
Oct 2, 2020
Oct 2, 2020 at 1:07 PM UTC
What cannot be yours,
no further shall be desired of.
Sunk into shallow waters,
gone up in smoke,
narrowly ablaze.
Torn to pieces,
unabashedly re-framed.
No matter what you desire of,
at the end must be yours and reclaimed.
Aug 12, 2020
Aug 12, 2020 at 5:53 AM UTC
"You are late"
Said the so full of fact
Business Studies Teacher
Nicked, "Mrs Fatso".
It's like
her account's green
turns red
On the account of
Leke's grin
I'm terrified
At why Leke is never
terrified!
Cos as soon as
that was said about
Grand Pa
We saw him
no more
And from what I saw
in the poster
He changed his first name
to the same
-Pastorlee
Jun 13, 2020
Jun 13, 2020 at 8:28 PM UTC
Cut off all of my ten toes
find secrets no one knows
Break my arms more way than one
still I won't beg when you're done
Rip my skin apart
tear out my heart
You'll see it still beats
no matter the mistreats
Pain is nothing anymore
something I can just ignore
I shall prove not to be bested
my stubbornness is untested
You'll **** me anyways
and just light me ablaze
Yet I'll give it all of my kept strength
surviving the torture regardless of length
May 28, 2020
May 28, 2020 at 5:43 PM UTC
i looked out at the weather
the clouds were moving fast
Winter was incoming
The season would not last
With fences needing mending
And cattle still to ship
Winter would be early
I could feel it in my hip
Every morning I would get up
Stagger down to get a brew
The pain was getting worse now
I'd lost a step or two
My daughter told me "Daddy"
"You need to see to that"
I'd grumble at her, smile
Then take my coffee and my hat
I'd go outside and wait some
Look out north for there I'd see
The last great wild pony
He's a stubborn one like me
I've chased him round these hill for years
Caught him once or twice
But, no one here could break him
No matter how we rolled the dice
He runs a herd of forty
I just let them go their way
I see them in the hills sometimes
And that's where I'll let them stay
There's other wild horses
Running round here that we chase
But, his...we let them venture
We let all forty have their space
Time has slowed me up some
It's got to him, I know as well
His is just from aging
Mine is where I fell
I was chasing wolves up on the ridge
They'd been running round the ranch
My horse slipped up and threw me
I landed sideways on a branch
I heard the pop and felt the pain
A searing burn through me
Beside me, lying helpless
My horse looked up at me
I did just what I had to
One swift shot between the eyes
Now, there I was out lying
A broken hip and ****** thighs
I'm not sure how when it happened
By rights I should have died
But, somehow, I can't tell you
That lone pony saved my hide
He saw me lying helpless
Knew the wolves were there as well
He took off once he saw me
Left his herd right where I fell
They walked in a tight circle
Kept me safe right where I lay
He took off to get assistance
His herd, knew they should stay
Like I said, I don't remember
How long I was lying in that space
But, I remember waking up and
I saw with him, a friendly face
They told me he wreaked havoc
Broke the fence down at my place
Kicked a fuss enough up
Then led my ranch hands on a chase
They chased him till they had him
This pony wild and free
He brought them to his herd of horse
He brought them out to come save me
He kicked the ground and whinnied
Looked at me, to say ok
The men loaded me up with them
I'd live to see another day
Fifteen years have passed since
I see him up there on the hills
While I sit outside just watching
The pain, it's helped some by my pills
A thousand wild horses
Well, for certain...forty one
Couldn't drag me to a doctor
Not while I can see the sun
He's a stubborn one that pony
Comes around I think to show
He ain't gonna go before me
And, I think he's right you know
My daughter keeps on trying
And I love to hear her try
But all the wild horses
Wouldn't even let me die
He's a part of me I guess now
Just like I'm of him of course
This stubborn limping cowboy
And that stubborn wild horse
May 22, 2020
May 22, 2020 at 5:50 PM UTC
I need a mountain of a man,
To handle my stubborn, strong-headed nature.
I need a mountain of a man,
To help me balance the world on my shoulders.
I need the man who sees, understands.
The one who hugs my trembling body
When I cry,
When I fall…
Until I rise above it all,
Until I’m strong again
To stand
And balance the world
On my delicate shoulders.
Apr 25, 2020
Apr 25, 2020 at 4:32 AM UTC
It's never to late
to contemplate the dire end
or the will too
bend
Feb 6, 2020
Feb 6, 2020 at 12:58 AM UTC
It’s all about the way you care,
With no ulterior motives there.
It makes a difference if to try and fix this,
You lay your soul out bare.
You can try, you can try, you can try to cut her down, but she’s not fallin,
You can try, you can try, you can try to pull her down, but she’s not movin,
You can try, you can try, you can try to make her drown, but she’s not drowning,
No she’s not drowning again!
She’s not dying again!
Desperation sound,
Makes her come around.
It means more when you are bleeding.
It makes her feel found.
You can cry, you can beg, you can try to change her mind, but she’s not changin.
You can snoop, you can sneak, you can lie right through your teeth, but she’s not believin.
You can push, you can shove, you can try to force her love, but she’s not loving.
No, she’s not loving you again!
She’s never looking back there again!
Don’t call her sadistic,
That will make her ballistic,
She’s just a willow tree with her roots in the ground.
She’s just animalistic.
So don’t try to change her or tear her down.
Herself, she’s finally found.
Jan 29, 2020
Jan 29, 2020 at 4:43 PM UTC
Maybe,
I tried to find the answers
I already knew,
I was just too stubborn to acknowledge
that my once empty canvas
is now colouring with your hue;
Jan 8, 2020
Jan 8, 2020 at 5:54 AM UTC