#singleparent
I'd have to **** part of myself to live the life my mother wants
And the worst part is she really
believes that's best
Jun 2, 2025
Jun 2, 2025 at 8:21 AM UTC
I see in her eyes a reflection of my life, our life intertwined.
We are so much a part of each other...
Please don't feel the pain I felt...
I feel.
We are mirrors facing each other, the depth is immeasurable.
Which way to turn? If one shatters, does the other shatter too?
I will face you with strength so that my reflection will give you the power to be wise, aware, and beautiful. Your spirit will be full of love and hope - and through your reflection back at me...
I will healed.
Dec 28, 2020
Dec 28, 2020 at 6:25 AM UTC
I fill my arms
buying comfort
trying to buy my certainty
there are dark seeds
pushed into a corner
my arms are tired
I have carried all this through the day
my feet are tired
I have carried all this through my years
pushed into a corner they will wait
our home
small boxes
larger boxes
dark corners
our home
while they wait
i forget
I forget to wake
I forget to make dinner
in the darkness
there is comfort in forgetting
tendrils are spilling out of the cupboard
purple and white
curling and searching
touching every dark corner
these seeds
they have not forgotten
to search
i will bury my comfort and certainty in the yard
we have out grown our boxes
searching for the light
Feb 21, 2020
Feb 21, 2020 at 9:03 PM UTC
the breakfast we never ate...
our bed still warm
waiting for the spoons to return
a voice
your little voice…
the table’s weight crashes to the ground…
none of this will return to what it once was
your small tears can not fix this broken bowl
one song on repeat
at least its a good one i think…
new bowls
other things to fill them...
how soon we have forgotten
the bed that wasn’t ready to let us go
tears and laughter
we are broken
our day has just begun.
Feb 21, 2020
Feb 21, 2020 at 9:32 PM UTC
A few minutes ago I hate myself a bit more than I usually do. I cut my thigh. One single cut, but it was at that moment I realized I was...alone. I can’t tell my mom she’d be upset. Couldn’t tell My brother he’d tell mom. Couldn’t tell My other brother I was scared to. I also wanted to die but couldn’t because of my son and I hated that. I also hated that I hated that. 1 year and 1 month. 13 months. 395 days. Gone. Because I was a weak.
Dec 11, 2019
Dec 11, 2019 at 10:35 AM UTC
My mother, just the mother.
Not only a mother, but just my mother and me.
My only confidant. My only support.
My only defender and play pretender.
The only bread winner, my only cook for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
Only my mother and me.
My mother so much more than a mother.
A teacher, my lecturing preacher.
A caring and compassionate one of a kind go getter and my best friend until the end.
Only my mother and me.
May 25, 2019
May 25, 2019 at 9:32 PM UTC
How can I possibly raise a baby of my own when I can barely raise myself?
Nov 29, 2018
Nov 29, 2018 at 11:25 PM UTC
Anger?
Perhaps it's something more?
Upsetting disappointment?
I'm dragging my son down a path I've followed aimlessly as a child.
He is following within my footsteps. My path.
You wouldn't understand the unbearable stress of being a single parent, with co-parenting with a idiot.
Constantly worrying about the child's needs of seeing this father.
Even when his father isn't enthusiastic about seeing his own son.
Continuously wondering if all this effort of pushing our child towards you is even worth it?
Because, in the end, he is the one who will get hurt.
You've been down this road yourself, we both have daddy-issues.
We both know how this will play out.
Either he resents you as he gets older or he will just end up never seeing you.
We both know how this ends, sadly.
Aug 10, 2017
Aug 10, 2017 at 2:26 AM UTC
i watched her suffer when the first one was going to a medical school,
knew she would spent years ahead in hell trying to defend her,
i watched her suffer when the second was going to college
and she couldn't afford a proper addition course to make her feel more confident,
i watched her suffer when the third was going to follow the others,
and she was slamming herself bones by bones to make sure she had all the sources,
i watched her suffer and suffer and suffer
for everyone but herself,
and if that doesn't enough to break me in every way possible,
i don't know what else will do.
Mar 30, 2017
Mar 30, 2017 at 3:40 AM UTC
Walking a straight line
It’s not so easy even with a Bible and love for your children
That’s what they say anyway
But my thoughts are not so still
I can still smell salt near the ocean
My breath quickens in mountain air
And I feel humility in every moment
There are no obstacles I cannot recognize
Because the path is my own
All that is required
Is the strength to overcome my sin
What sound cannot be summoned from within
What memory cannot be recalled at will
But I see you watching me
As I watch you
Your distance is the same as mine
I can only wonder if my journey is the same as yours
Could you that I would with you as I could if you would with me
The confusion of a life constructed to endure
The questions of loyalty to decisions already made
It does not mean I could never love you
It only means I do not know where to begin
Mar 20, 2016
Mar 20, 2016 at 9:12 PM UTC
Lethargic energies found on the corner street
Dreams devoured by their caustic cigar
Infatuated with not what to eat...
All the seek is the next bottle of liquor
The women selling mealies and vetkoeks
Hoping for at least, a penny
The kids are back from school but too hungry to entertain books
No wonder these kids grow to be as fatuous as Lenny
Jan 3, 2016
Jan 3, 2016 at 3:57 PM UTC
Forgive me my Little One
That you have to see and endure this crunch
I know you long for your old man
But he chose to leave and will never have the chance.
My heart aches when you look for him
You’re way too young to understand his whim
But know that I’ll never leave your side
However things turn out on the other side.
Nov 9, 2015
Nov 9, 2015 at 4:10 PM UTC
Hush dear child, Mama's got this.
Fear none, my shields are endless.
You and I, we're infinite;
Forever threading the waves of life.
Highs and lows.
Scars behold.
Together we'll rise unscathed.
Nov 9, 2015
Nov 9, 2015 at 3:39 PM UTC
You cheated on my mother with your insignificant other.
She was carrying your child, whilst you were in bed with another.
You had a family.
A child on the way.
A loyal wife on your side.
How could that not matter?
I suppose we don't matter either.
In all honesty I never expected more.
All the Father's day cards I never sent.
All the I love you's I pray you never get.
All The I love you's my mother never heard.
She deserves better.
Your "marriage" is absurd.
Your "commitment" has been murdered.
Don't tell me what to do!
God knows you haven't done a thing.
Feb 11, 2015
Feb 11, 2015 at 7:38 PM UTC
The Demon inside my heart,
Running through my veins and my mind
You damaged me without showing your face
Yes I am Stronger,
Than I would be if you were here.
I would thank you
But the thought of it makes me ill.
The thought of seeing your worthless face alone will make me want to *****
You could have been worse.
Could have stuck my mother.
Molested my siblings and I.
But to leave five young children
With an Ill mother,
To me, Is unforgivable.
If you had beaten us,
I would have a real reason to curse your rechid soul as I do.
Perhaps the rage and hatred is all in my mind.
But I care not.
For you now hold no breath, and no claim to me.
Feb 11, 2015
Feb 11, 2015 at 5:53 AM UTC
Before I turn 20 I had to make a real decision I'm three weeks away and I still haven't came up with a realistic proposition for myself who am I kidding here? We all have a future thats destind for greatness and its on me whether or not Ima take it! Run wall street with heavy feet, steel toe for anyone or anything standing in my way! The universe is huge but this money game is tight only a broad few really making it to survive, and I be **** if I dont produce income, for moms to retire before Im 25! Seems like im placing the bars high, truth hurts an honestly this is why I grind!
Aug 6, 2014
Aug 6, 2014 at 9:28 PM UTC