I’m not alright
My brain and I are in a constant fight
My body wants to rest
But I can’t stop moving even when I’m out of breathe
Get up, show them your stable
Stay busy, close to people
Slowly baptizing myself in safety
But never fitting in, the past making me feel too different, too unhappy.
I’m trying but failing when I’m trying to trust
Men don’t make it easy; they don’t want to be friends they’re just full of lust.
May 27, 2025
May 27, 2025 at 10:56 PM UTC
She felt like a rock on the seashore;
angry waves slowly chipping at it, transforming what once was a mighty boulder into a faded pebble.
May 27, 2025
May 27, 2025 at 9:13 PM UTC
You know I don't trust,
You know I'm scared to be left in the dust
You know that men were never nice, You know that they have all been risky with MY life
You know I'm scared of yelling and raised voices
You know I'm scared of conflict where I need to make choices
You know you leaving me would destroy me
She didn't know it would be herself for' who in the end shes in grievance for because even though she got her breath back, she still can't breathe
She knows life only gets better from here on out,
if she could get out of her brain where she keeps anxiety and doubt
May 15, 2025
May 15, 2025 at 2:00 AM UTC
The little girl who was always first to help,
smile on her face as she opened doors, was craving for nothing other than to be held.
A home was no place to hide,
her little heart always racing from all of the grown up fights,
She stood out for asking questions instead of following demand,
knowing deep down she's doing the right thing by making a stand.
She was never given quite enough time or attention;
slowly she became an angry girl who became scared of her reflection and was always punished back to home due to school suspensions
everyone left as she grew up so she learnt to give and please,
for as long as she gives, she'll have the attention and audience shell ever need.
May 15, 2025
May 15, 2025 at 1:31 AM UTC
it’s not sad
it’s lonely
a piece inside you yearning to be held by your mother; she was both you’re first best friend and heartbreak. Your heart will cry for what you once had or never did.. always envious of the mother daughter bond. You spend hours imagining what the future would look like with your kids and her. Then realize it’ll never happen. It’s not sad my dear, the bitter sweet ghosts of your past will play with your memories, will squeeze your chest until it hurts to breathe, crippling your lungs leaving your body hollow and cold like a forgotten mausoleum with only the echoes of your heartbeat to let you know
you’re alive and
alone and
she isn’t coming back
Oct 29, 2024
Oct 29, 2024 at 10:53 PM UTC
You don’t want to die.
No.
You want happiness.
You want to wake up in the morning feeling alive with each breath that comes easily and weightless; You just want stop feeling like this is a nightmare you can’t wake up from.
The possibility of happiness manipulates you into thinking you can have it then, inconveniently at the most in opportune time reminds you that happiness is just not something you can have no matter how deep the yearning you have to submerge yourself in it; happiness is there, all around yet just out of reach so that you can see but never manage to have it.
You’re hopeless, alone in a cold darkness that suffocates you, leaving you breathless and isolated from others by past wounds that wont heal.
At times you’re overwhelmed, like a deer in headlights you can’t move; feeling paralyzed not knowing what to do, say, think, should you sit? Waiting until you “unfreeze”
you’re frozen in an attempt to pullaway from an invisible hand that has a tight grasp of your upper arm. Eventually it releases its hold allowing you to move once more leaving you to now wondering, lost on what to do .
Sometimes you’re trying to find reason to live, more reasons than your kids. If it weren’t for the kids you wouldn’t be here. You have tried so many times. But are left to fight for yourself. You’re all you can depend on in the end. Whenever that will be.
Sep 17, 2024
Sep 17, 2024 at 12:23 AM UTC
I’ll say your name and wait for your voice but the answers I get are silence and grief.
Without you my heart will freeze to crystals of the deepest blue;
for you painfully won this game of hide and seek.
I’ve called the last and final, “where are you?”
There will be no more now that you’ve gone somewhere I cannot reach.
I will wait till the day that you and I once again meet. I’m sorry my fur baby. I’ll get through hopefully, if not barely.
Sep 28, 2023
Sep 28, 2023 at 5:28 PM UTC
My brain feels like a scraped knee that’s slowly being sewn back together day by day with new flesh. Relieved and in awe at the way the body knows how to heal itself when I didn’t think it possible; itll probably leave behind a scar because a wound like this must leave something behind, right? A reminder of once was, not letting you escape and forget; following you wherever you go. But maybe, eventually there will be no trace after all for I’ve yet to know as I’m
still
healing
from a knee wound deep within my brain.
Mar 14, 2023
Mar 14, 2023 at 10:30 PM UTC
I knew a girl who was happy. She talked to anyone, Always wanting to help.
I knew a girl who’s smile was broken but always gave advice so that people could smile.
I knew a girl who was ***** at a young age but it Didn’t stop there. She felt like she had a target painted on her back she couldn’t go anywhere.
I knew a girl who was constantly told she wasn’t good enough. Everything she did was wrong. Her words, her expression, her brain wasn’t right.
I knew a girl with such hate for the world she imagined her room ******* broken in half. Bed frame in pieces, her window is smashed, broken pictures on the floor; blankets covered in glass.
I knew a girl.. who was also a daughter, She was happy, made people smile, but was too broken inside.
I knew a girl.. she’s no longer alive.
Oct 4, 2022
Oct 4, 2022 at 2:00 PM UTC
wanted to cut..
did nothing..
instead
cried and then went to bed..
maybe I’m growing as a person or maybe I’m just to scared of the consequences..
like a dog with an electric collar.. eventually it’ll be to scared to move knowing that no matter what emotion, action, sound it makes.. it’ll be wrong.
Jun 15, 2022
Jun 15, 2022 at 10:53 PM UTC