#set
skimped scammed suckered
make it all up
and then go round again
May 23
May 23, 2026 at 2:55 AM UTC
dOES NO ONE UNDERSATND?
do i have to spell out my emotions
I
D O N T
K N O W
I cater to my past because my present is my future
I think about the future becAUSE IM AFRAID OF MY PAST
im tired of feeling past , present, and future emotions
it's all in my head they say?
then why do i
then why do i
no thats not right..
maybe i should fix the letters?
i don
****
i just want to feel one thing at a time. be where im supposed to be
and be who i can be
i'm scared. for my relationships, my sorrow, my anger, my depression. its getting harder to love when all everyone ever do is
abuse.
May 12
May 12, 2026 at 8:29 PM UTC
Friday, February 20, 2026
12:16 PM
let's trust truth to be obvious,
pure nothing to hide Eureka mass molecular
pure as finest distilled gold reflective surface,
as real as true color full spectrum imaging, ever, and ever
happily feeling the abyss staring back at us, up there,
isotropic entities, men as trees, look back at us up here,
sittin' on the roof of this world at the same level breather,
alpine commonality with wolves and bears and spikey beastees
whole globe this high got some sappy evergreens firs and cedars
and pine, some oaks on lower slopes, but not much grass, scrubb
chaparral, like the humble green shady places Ezekial went on about.
Seventeen, in any memory, in can have its moments, in dementia,
we revisit watching the Secret, for confirmation, I was thinking,
I know this spiel, I can pay the price, like a lotto ticket, win
or lose possible was thinkable peaceably for a while, nobody wins
all the time. Kenneth Pepiton is selling fruits of his labors
this is a link to a paper version of poems you read free for whatever attention you pay to a screen. Today I started reading the audio version of this book that I wrote, partly, to read with my sister, in her dementia when she is at her best laughing at how truely small our warring spirits are when we trust true rest to decompress... any way I have no wheels, so I have a series of books I am confident were worth my time to think peace can be made with enemies of mine using the very same words I try to feed strangers, here's a link to the first one shipping hereafter its about a hundred pages every 72 hours, aiming at a 2016 Tesla, or any self driver with millon prepaid miles and cheap insurance... that was the secret, specificity $20.
https://www.amazon.com/CO-HERENSCY-AL-Wiseass-After-Evers/dp/B0GLP9PPBP/ref=sr_1_1?sr=8-1
Feb 20
Feb 20, 2026 at 3:38 PM UTC
late winter slumber
bestows a confused rhythm
keeps me sleeping at strange hours
-waking at odds with daylights stretch uncertain
whenever I awake within my warm cocoon of blankets
wrapped up against the cold,
I never know what time it is
and really I do not care,
a feeling of belonging overcomes all else
I realise solitude has made of me it own
much more than acceptance
I am stirred, stripped of all self-concern
a child of the Universe, on my way home.
Feb 9
Feb 9, 2026 at 5:06 AM UTC
gargantuam light
upon your path
bathed to the core
may you be healed.
Jan 30
Jan 30, 2026 at 8:43 AM UTC
Given and giver known but a gift unacceptable
Offensive, repulsive, and stumbling, but good
Unknown and perhaps unknowable, how can it be?
Not for delightful display of pleasure and gain
But ignored, hidden, forgotten, most shameful
And only bewilderment, pain, anger, and questions
But in flesh, the Voice understands, and speaks
Saying, "You are beloved," but alas only anguish!
How can it be? How can it be!? How can love be!
So strange unlike any believed in the world
As thorns stripped of the roses more desired
Or robbed and exiled a kindness most exalted
Who prays for an incomprehensible gift returned
Who rather a soulmate's help than hear the Voice
And mortal comforts than seeing fearsome eternity
But as breathe compelled so too acceptance
Of an irrevocable gift most uncommonly good
Inescapably tearful, trembling, and bowed, walk
Thus acknowledged by a freedom most feared
And to sacrifice as Abraham ascended Moriah
A thanksgiving most honoured and accepted
Nov 25, 2025
Nov 25, 2025 at 10:03 AM UTC
I tried making you happy
In dawn of our romance
My heart put on display
As if I even stood a chance
I believed a little bit of time
Would soften edges to touch
Make you need my presence here
Our hands to desperately clutch
But did not become irresistible
Attraction fading from eyes
Gave my best but wasn't enough
To nobody's surprise
Where purple and black ink dance on paper
Emotions slowly spill
Deepest pool of self-loathing
Has almost reached maximum fill
I never seem to read your mind
Between lines you critically bark
Wonder what mysterious force pulls near
Ever-present question mark
Worry you hunger for new connection
Different happy ending to write
Someone compatible with your character
Who causes zero reason to fight
Despite a multitude of issues
You stay steadfast and unwary
Like I have the whole world in the palm of my hands
Complaining it's too heavy to carry
I'd appreciate feeling welcome in your arms once more
Instead a burden straining your back
A soon as I start getting comfortable
Remind me of traits that I lack
I've already ripped self-esteem to shreds
So little confidence left remaining
Critique is simply the icing on top
A whole cake of damage I'm sustaining
I select goals I never seem to achieve
Veering too far to the left or right
Document every failure in detail
To torment brain with late at night
When attempting to meet your expectations
Inevitably falter under distress
Maybe that's a pathetic excuse
It is truthful nonetheless
T(he only way we will be together forever
By trapping you within a cage
Still I strive to be somebody you deserve
I am just too selfish to change
But I care about your well-being
Kills me inside watching your happiness burn
Love you enough to set you free
Fully aware you will never return
Oct 25, 2025
Oct 25, 2025 at 6:18 AM UTC
After you left, the house kept its rooms—
but life abandoned every wall and door.
Only your echo stayed, a quiet ache,
and the slow, steady fall of my tears.
You never turned, never called, never left a trace;
only the memory that learned your voice by heart.
You loved poems—so I planted verses in your name,
each line a lantern burning through the dark.
I write because the world forgets to wait;
I write because your absence taught me how to speak.
These pages are the last home of what we were—
my small, fierce proof that you once lived here.
If ever a wind should find your eyes, read them—
my last letters of longing, folded into rhyme.
Until then I keep our days in ink and ache,
and wait with a gentle hope that never dies.
— Usha Maniar
Sep 24, 2025
Sep 24, 2025 at 10:06 AM UTC
Metempsychosis
Monday, August 18, 2025
2:14 PM
Reincarnated ideas that ate our minds, imagine that
influx efluxuation considered, we, as thinkers, thoughts,
thinkers thought some while ago, we think, in spirit, in mind,
formed words, indexed in our own prodigious memories, logical
conclusions in a world of light and shade, both, essentially good,
in the Biblical knowledge, without which his people perish, good
for sure, being caused, fructifying on a tree covered under
the Christian clarification that a good tree cannot bear bad fruit,
tov ra', beautiful adverisity, as Strong's has the Hebrew
under the tree of knowledge of tov' ra, good and evil, KJV wise,
evil means bad, Naughty figs are over ripe and rotting, so it is.
The people among the captives, who were taken for their craft,
the smiths who knew the way of wind in fire, to form steel, ah
the carpenters, knew the way of levers, planes, wheels and cogs
recognize science consciously right used knowing, principle think,
you know, reckon, ye ken, yon and yet, knowing, principle thunk,
Wisdom is the fear of Jehovah-Jirah and all, some say,
wisdom is the use of knowledge truly with no guiling, that is,
id est, i.e. per se, free
from added adjectives and qualifying catechism quiz results,
Jesus is Lord…
I know a guy who says lord came from Welsh, but
I got an old book what disagrees, Welsh for Lord is Arglwydd
I ask Gemini and accept that I knew more or less what I was getting at,
Saying in your core, truth is lord, requires definite precognition, gotten,
this idea, Your core process, you, being one told
to let this mind be
in you… mindhat wise, imagine, we think as one mind,
with a sorting side and a noticing side, and pattern recognition,
wakes up qwerty guy and we are with Bruno in the ether, here
it is, the mind of God, no inside, no outside, no need to disagree,
what a person is, at its core, who am I, what am I for, is arbitrary,
yeah, Shelly Berman, he told me, I am what I chose, arbitrarily,
I write,
I write like a monk reborn in a certain batch in 1948, ARPA kids,
arbitrary decisions were never part
of our context as A students, in grading school,
with a y for smiths and carpenters after eight D or above years,
graduates from Eighth grade, with me, met me in Bien Hoa, ARPA kids,
- both barely in my class, no shared classes after first grade
both dead now, both died within a mile of Route 66, hmm, hummin'
along wonder if what if did work that once, but, we escaped, got away,
whose memories are treasures,
whose are inescapable hells, just
waiting to be recognized, as one among our we,
guilty as sin, never made sense of as Hamartia y chatta
the few, the brave, the dedicated babes in the 1948 Revival,
Aieee and hohokahm jam Jesus a plenty out at the slabs, 2025
Repent or perish, try those spirits, axemwhachamean, perish?
Ego death, abrupt, sacred and undeniable, just say, come into
my core logic processor open for repair, just say no, or come on in.
Flow, autotelic for some time, core idea in intellect, lecture me later.
Mark paid.
Any debt owed to for or by any, or any redemption
Owed to Giordano Bruno, who went up in flames to inspire me,
is likely erased from history as you recall…
Aug 18, 2025
Aug 18, 2025 at 6:26 PM UTC
What If?
Brian never thought he would work in a call centre
When he lived in Germany he was unemployed
And while looking for a job he was forced to go
Work in a call centre and refused creating a fuss
I’m not selling insurance or loft insulation!
Put me on fork lift truck training it’s my job
Not some **** call centre 2 towns away
The stupid ***** running the training place
Offered to buy Brian a bicycle and he laughed!
You silly ******* cow retrain me on fork lifts
I need to renew my outdated licence
Not work taking calls like a fool robot
Half a decade passed and Brian
Ate his words working in a call centre!
Aug 20, 2024
Aug 20, 2024 at 10:57 PM UTC
I hang a mangled backdrop
A set prop
To keep from view
That I got
Behind the scenes rot
And there's a lot
©2024
Jun 28, 2024
Jun 28, 2024 at 12:33 PM UTC
AM I DESTINED TO BE LIKE YOU?
TO BECOME YOU?
IS THIS WHAT YOU’RE PREPARING ME FOR?
THE EVER DUTIFUL WORKAHOLIC,
OH GOD FORBID YOU EVER HAVE SOME PERSONAL FUN!
I AM NOT YOU.
I DON’T WANT THIS LIFE
IS THAT WHAT YOU’RE “PROTECTING” ME FROM?
A LIFE OUTSIDE OF THIS MISERY?
You will carve every bit of me out,
Piece by piece
Until I am a shell of myself,
Ready to be filled with your idea of a life
I don’t want your life.
Please,
Set me free.
Mar 20, 2024
Mar 20, 2024 at 2:38 AM UTC
staring at the horizon
waiting for what is yet to come
the moment is tantalizing
but my past is paramount
escape it for a night, once in a blue moon
take what I can get, embrace the wiggle room
not everything is set in stone and finished
not everything is as good as I predicted
I need to allow
I need to get out and touch some grass
make myself strong enough to last
Sep 1, 2022
Sep 1, 2022 at 6:24 AM UTC
I am a comedy
A walking calamity
Just miscellaneously here
I have a tragedy
Living inside of me
Always in paralyzing fear
I am a mystery
Already history
And I just want out of here
May 13, 2021
May 13, 2021 at 5:24 PM UTC
cannot sleep
cannot escape
the dreams i have
is keeping me awake
what was
might not always be
what is
never enough to set me free
what more
do i have to see?
after all that's said and done
back to the same spot
have i always been wrong?
at least let me breathe
reset life reset me
but not the same ****
over and over again
Jun 11, 2021
Jun 11, 2021 at 6:49 AM UTC
The emptiness in everything haunts all I do
Truth behind the silence makes it hard to breathe
Fall before the morning leaves me on the floor
The goodbyes are all I hear and see
It scares me you moved on so fast
Dark beneath the hum of day
Light within has become so very small
Voice that I long for has nothing to say
And broken heart continues beating
Afraid how that can be
Scars I wear inside and out
Pain I wish would set me free
Mar 27, 2021
Mar 27, 2021 at 8:07 AM UTC
Haiku’s are boring
I don’t like reading haiku’s
Haiku’s really ****
..........................
This is a haiku
The cow jumped over the moon
Was it good for you?
............................
Nature is beauty
Passionate aesthetic dreams
Haiku’s still **** though!
..........................
Nov 14, 2020
Nov 14, 2020 at 8:37 PM UTC
The sunset was the kind that was like syrup dripping from the skies and if you were to drink it it would be the ambrosia that tasted like a life time
Sep 19, 2020
Sep 19, 2020 at 7:04 AM UTC
between sun rise
and sunset
there is a passing
sun ray over the
horizon
apart from,
sky darkness and
the sunlight bring
bluish of the sky
Sep 4, 2020
Sep 4, 2020 at 3:33 AM UTC
Do not shun your aspirations
Must have sights set high
Hold a chance at succeeding
Your unwavering dream can fly
Wonder hard
Ponder long
Believe in imagination
Is there limit to what you can achieve?
Pursue your hearts creation
Apr 11, 2020
Apr 11, 2020 at 1:54 AM UTC