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#selfpity
I view myself as a quiet person, even though I'm loud, Maybe it's because I don't show the real me to the rest of the crowd? Or I crave being excluded so much that I envision myself in that way... --- Pain. Addictive like it's some sort of drug, A place I've grown so used to I could call it home, When in reality it's my emotions being swept under the rug. And I convince myself that I'm the victim, That I'm being pushed, and beat When really I'm tripping over the shoelaces that I myself tied together underneath my feet. And I cry and I sulk, In all this selfish pity, Wondering why? Why me? Why is it always me? Why do people like to hurt me? Oh but they don't, It's my twisted way of feeling comfort. A self sabotage, that only does more hurt. Because I don't know anything better, I don't know what real peace feels like. Only the creation in my head, And that creation is home.
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2d ago
Jun 1, 2026 at 10:23 AM UTC
Craving Home
The pity in it all is.. How light the weight of her leaving felt. Once the dust had settled and, Just Before the lonliness began And, as it does. Replace her In some form On and onward Forever and unto always.. It is this That in truth One day serves to End Smothering so It Crushes him.
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Feb 25
Feb 25, 2026 at 7:27 PM UTC
Under The Pity
Sitting in my room my mind floods with memories Indulging in negativity occasionally feels good, yes please My mental health has gone SO south these past several years I like to drown my pain in multiple beers That doesn't always work for me I just absorb as much pain as I can as if it'll turn into positivity All I want is to feel like I matter But truthfully I feel like a bother A bother, a burden; take your pick Sadly, I won't get the validation I need because I'm not a "chick" In my experience nobody cares about a guy's feelings Men with feelings are defined as weaklings It's a tragedy that has lead to some sad events throughout history Put your hands up if you agree. Men should be able to share their emotions too I started this poem because I was feeling blue This website helps me get that validation I desperately crave. It is definitely one of my fave Writing out my feelings helps me cope It gives me just a little bit of hope That someday I'll find that special someone Someone that'll accept my shattered heart and mend it Mend it and erase all that negative ****
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Apr 22, 2024
Apr 22, 2024 at 5:32 AM UTC
Mend my shattered heart
Bury me 10 feet deep put me to sleep like the rest of them; you know we only ever get the best surprises like flooded deserts and loss of autonomy; and things kept hidden are only half-unwritten – why can’t you move more carefully? You can see this bruising, this catastrophe – Why don’t you be a little nicer with her and try your hand at a softer mental obstacle course? Maybe your shoulders wouldn’t strive so hard if you walked on your feet instead, but you’re grabbing and grasping and letting your fingers direct the thoughts in your head; parasitic infestations ruined all three of my homes, but you’ll find the evidence was walled by fire; and ash can hide most secret pains – so lull me to sleep with the promise of reconstruction, but damnation is looming and I’m trying in vain to un-curse these nightmares, before they further entangle me; your empathy shows when I count to three, and then swallows self-pity and recedes again – Why do these cycles never end?
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Dec 5, 2022
Dec 5, 2022 at 8:29 PM UTC
10 feet deep
Hey, I’mamess Can I have a moment with you Don’t you know that you’ve been looking like the world is against you? Well, ya know I’m just curious what the hell are you going through? If you wanna talk, just tell me I’m all ears for you Hey, I’mamess So you’ve been feeling stuck And you can't figure out what’s causing you to feel like that Could it be your mom, your dad, your grandma, or pa? Or maybe it's just yourself Oh, I guess that's that And now you’re telling me you also feel uninspired And you can’t even write a song, a poem, or anything that rhymes Singing is now boring and your fingers are tired Tired of playing the same tunes almost every night Hey, I’mamess I heard you know God And you’re telling other people about His great love I must say, it’s a good thing and I salute you for that But now you’re telling me you’re a hypocritical wing nut Hey, I’mamess You are indeed a mess You’re an unproductive, recalcitrant, idiotic wreck But hey, I’mamess A lot of people like you They appreciate your talent and the things that you do Lastly, I’mamess I think the world is not really against you You are a mess because you criticize you
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Jul 17, 2022
Jul 17, 2022 at 8:41 PM UTC
Hey, I’mamess
The invisible years, they arrive after menopause You'll see. It will happen to you in time. Left behind. Left alone. Now I wonder if I am imaginary? The energy it drains, stepping through the day. The Demon of loneliness demands attention. I doubt my existence. There is no one loving me. There is no "love." The cruel Magician of depression begins disappearing me. And I no longer care. I will crawl off this Earth alone.
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Apr 22, 2022
Apr 22, 2022 at 12:43 AM UTC
Fading
This year was supposed to be better It was to be the year I got my life back together Last year was incredibly horrible This year I was hopeful It was a mistake to feel that way My accident left me feeling such dismay Leaving me with such hatred towards the drunk driver that could've ended my life He almost took away my chance to find a wife It's been 6 months since the crash I'm drowning in so much debt; I need some freaking cash My brother wants me out by next year Tbh it makes me wish I never moved here. It's been 3 years and I never experienced a year of happiness Everything I've been through built up so much stress All this stress adds to my depression and makes me prone to suicidal thoughts. Lately I've been thinking about what it feels like to die Will I feel anything, will anybody even cry? Does anybody truly care about me? Or am I just an empty soul internally. This is how this year has got me in my feelings
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Nov 25, 2021
Nov 25, 2021 at 8:55 PM UTC
2021
It's a bitter taste On the back of my tongue The growing seed of hate Spreading into my lungs
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Aug 2, 2021
Aug 2, 2021 at 9:44 PM UTC
Sickness
Why did it have to be like this. I was always meant for more. No, I know I did. I deserved better. But it will never be over. I know that now. That what's happened has happened And that there is more to come. How the lines are laid out. All set to stone, my fate in the hands Of some omnipotent fool. There's not a ********* thing I can do. Maybe things will be better That's what I always hope at least Maybe this time, it never hurts to try doesn't it? But honestly, who am I kidding? There really isn't a single thing I can do to change what's inevitably going to come All I can do is do What I've always done. Drown in my self -pity like the coward that I am. -Kore
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May 26, 2021
May 26, 2021 at 4:02 AM UTC
Depression
Walking downtown, accompanied by my old friends Loneliness and Self-Pity, I catch glimpses fleeting Between the window panes Of the curves and edges that make up Me. I grapple with how those two people Two contradictory people Came together to make up contradictory Me. A lump rises in my throat As the intrusive thought overcomes me: I am the worst of two contradictory people. I am his need To always be the smartest in the room, To follow my whims and ambitions, To leave. I am her mouth drawn shut Because to share myself is to lose myself Even though there is nothing left to lose. I am her need to be in the driver’s seat To take control Because the universe has already taken so much. I have his Wanderer’s heart But her feet keep me Grounded. Ah, but you see, I have taken these things And made them something completely my own! Now that I am self-aware, I overthink these traits until I am on the brink of Insanity, Riddled with Anxiety, And completely isolated in a Prison of my own making. Maybe there are people who would help, But my lips are drawn shut, And I am good at leaving. So I walk downtown alone, With my good friends Loneliness and Self-Pity, Unsure of whether the wetness on my cheek Is the falling of tears or rain, And not caring which one is the Truth.
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Jan 21, 2021
Jan 21, 2021 at 1:34 PM UTC
Walking downtown, accompanied by my old friends Loneliness and Self-Pity
In the picture This old black and white Had missed the lecture Of being pointy no fright Outraged in a moment Wrong words the offensive People move sideways Their eyes evasive Remaining .. Their sillhouette I retract My heart seems to blush All i am looking for now The comfort of my shed
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Dec 22, 2020
Dec 22, 2020 at 8:44 AM UTC
Lone
I cannot keep anything for myself I cannot keep you for myself As you are not mine to begin with And I have to let you go Like water streaming through cupped hands Hoping you find happiness with someone else Hoping you smile more with her As I cannot give you what you want I cannot love you as much as I want to Because I have responsibilities And you deserve more than what I can offer And I can offer nothing but myself
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Jan 19, 2020
Jan 19, 2020 at 11:39 AM UTC
Nothing but myself
"Be good," is something that people sometimes say when they are saying good-bye. I'm trying to be good. Since missing you comes in waves, I've secured a lifeboat So I don't get swept away. Instead of drowning in self-pity, I'm going to be good. You didn't offer a good-bye. You didn't offer any kind of sentiment such as "be good." I might not be good yet, but I'm okay.
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Oct 19, 2019
Oct 19, 2019 at 12:20 PM UTC
Be Good
I've try my **** hardest to feel loved, accepted. I lead people to fall in love, and leave them because I can. Even though I promised them different. I complain about boys, but the boys aren't the problem it's me. I'm the one who makes these problems for myself because it's easier to push everyone away and deal with those consequences as they come, rather than to accept my forever fate. I say it's because I'm young, I can't find the one. I know all the right things to say, so they'll stick around, even after i've left them in the dust too many times, but I do know not to say love. It confuses them, and me. I know love isn't in my heart, never has. Heartbreak started before I was born. When my father didn't want me, my mother couldn't have truly wanted me, after all she was 16, everyone around me was burdened by me before I even opened my eyes. I hear it a lot, "you look, remind me of your mother" "You remind me so much of myself" "My mini me" You have the same issues, depression, bipolar, trust issues, and failure to commit, it's pretty insignificant, but it's lurking there, in my head. Scratch that it all races through my veins, and I'm surrounded by it, as everyone I know is infected by it too. It commitment even real? As far as I know, it's something I couldn't even imagine. I have these people trying to get at me, claiming, "Let it be just me and you baby" but every time I fall for those lies, I can't help to start chasing a different one, more and more. Picking up that bottle seems like second nature. Along with my issues, I was blessed with addiction, that's racing through my veins more than commitment isn't. I'm told not to let it get out of hand, after all I've seen what it does to people. But I can't help but find myself longing for the next time I can feel the warmth of that liquid as it slides down my throat. Longing for the next time I can place that skinny piece of paper between my fingers, lighting it as the smoke slithers down to find my lungs, inhaling to insure it's doing it's job, then exhaling to see the smoke dance around the air that's consuming me. Longing for the next time I can feel happiness. Longing for the next time I can punch something to release my anger, because we all know I can't do it creatively.
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Sep 17, 2019
Sep 17, 2019 at 10:26 PM UTC
I didn't mean to
I've try my **** hardest to feel loved, accepted. I lead people to fall in love, and leave them because I can. Even though I promised them different. I complain about boys, but the boys aren't the problem it's me. I'm the one who makes these problems for myself because it's easier to push everyone away and deal with those consequences as they come, rather than to accept my forever fate. I say it's because I'm young, I can't find the one. I know all the right things to say, so they'll stick around, even after i've left them in the dust too many times, but I do know not to say love. It confuses them, and me. I know love isn't in my heart, never has. Heartbreak started before I was born. When my father didn't want me, my mother couldn't have truly wanted me, after all she was 16, everyone around me was burdened by me before I even opened my eyes. I hear it a lot, "you look, remind me of your mother" "You remind me so much of myself" "My mini me" You have the same issues, depression, bipolar, trust issues, and failure to commit, it's pretty insignificant, but it's lurking there, in my head. Scratch that it all races through my veins, and I'm surrounded by it, as everyone I know is infected by it too. It commitment even real? As far as I know, it's something I couldn't even imagine. I have these people trying to get at me, claiming, "Let it be just me and you baby" but every time I fall for those lies, I can't help to start chasing a different one, more and more. Picking up that bottle seems like second nature. Along with my issues, I was blessed with addiction, that's racing through my veins more than commitment isn't. I'm told not to let it get out of hand, after all I've seen what it does to people. But I can't help but find myself longing for the next time I can feel the warmth of that liquid as it slides down my throat. Longing for the next time I can place that skinny piece of paper between my fingers, lighting it as the smoke slithers down to find my lungs, inhaling to insure it's doing it's job, then exhaling to see the smoke dance around the air that's consuming me. Longing for the next time I can feel happiness. Longing for the next time I can punch something to release my anger, because we all know I can't do it creatively.
Continue reading...
7
Is having self-pity So much different than lying?
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May 13, 2019
May 13, 2019 at 2:58 AM UTC
Note 58: Self-pity
Closed inside a bubble of self pity Thoughts of events gone wrong inside me Trapped with no air to breathe in Stuck in this reality for what it is believed in c.m.l.
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Mar 10, 2019
Mar 10, 2019 at 6:17 PM UTC
Self Pity
There’s nothing worse than a girl desperate for love: A girl that pities herself enough to think she is so intrinsically broken she couldn’t even connect with someone biologically destined to love her; A girl stupid enough to learn that love is a reward that she must earn, yet frantic enough to always work too hard for it; A girl that overcompensates. Begs. Forces. A girl that claims she ‘Doesn’t know what to do with love’ when it comes along, so that, naturally, she can smother it; A girl who’s biggest fear is abandonment, yet is an expert on expecting too much; A girl that’s waiting to be saved, but would tell you she doesn’t deserve it; A girl that still obsesses over ways she has been bruised when surrounded by people that have helped her heal; A girl who’s self involved, with no sense of self; A girl that cries. And cries. And cries. There’s nothing worse than a girl desperate for love.
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Feb 1, 2019
Feb 1, 2019 at 6:26 PM UTC
Unlearning
I’m starving Starved for security Starved for salvation Starved for serenity The loneliness is tearing me to bits and pieces I choose to scatter towards Those who feign interest in the bits of me I dare to share Florence says we all have a hunger I must agree, for tears spring to my eyes at the words of her song I’m starving for validation Validate me! 5 4 3 2 1 It’s late at night, it has begun I search for the saddest songs in my library As sadness and loneliness create a cocktail That slowly creeps into my bloodstream Pumps into my heart Spreads back into my body, mind and soul Then the tears at the corners of my eyes spill onto my cheeks And I drift into a dreamless sleep
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Jan 14, 2019
Jan 14, 2019 at 3:46 PM UTC
Hunger
I shouldn’t complain my loneliness, because it is all self-applied, The feelings i want to nourish, They were all made up of such lies, For it was i who imagined to be yours, And it was i who longed to be loved, The joy of wanting a partner, I pretend to smile at you through a mirror, I was foolish enough to let these emotions get to my head, Although in some aspects I don’t think we have ever properly met, In the distance of your glory all that i see, Was another fate that was just not meant to be.
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Nov 20, 2018
Nov 20, 2018 at 10:15 PM UTC
Pity-love
when something tragic happens people are there for us they go with us through the break up through death and pain but with depression it is diffrent because it doesn´t end but people get sick of hearing you are not fine they want to see you recover but I can´t Depression is not a sickness you can get over It follows you around like a cloud blocking the sun and now and then rain will pour down and it will all come crashing in It´s the never ending feeling of pain of panic of nothing and then I feel bad and I´ll self-pity myself and now I feel so stupid because there are people people who have it worse and here I am drowning in self-pitiness but that is exactly what depression feels like It feels like I am drowning while everyone else is breathing just fine It feels like the fear you have when you miss a step but you never reach the ground so the fear won´t go away It feels like ropes tie you down you can not move can not stand I can not do anything do anything right and all I want is this to end but the only solution seems so hard to procide not even that, I can do I am not doing good but no one wants to hear about it because it has been to long without improvment so I´ll just fake it maybe if I tell myself long enough I am fine I will be
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Nov 6, 2018
Nov 6, 2018 at 12:53 PM UTC
What I can ́t tell my friends
I'm rummaging through my messy-closet mind for the choice bits of delectable emotional pain The agony that come from being the complex and bitter soul I am But I'm not finding any I'm actually fairly happy. Moderately cheerful. Not floating on clouds, or manic, or bursting with energy. Just... pretty good.  Quite alright. This isn't good for poetry. Or self pity. What do I do now?
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Aug 11, 2018
Aug 11, 2018 at 11:16 PM UTC
The Struggles of a Mildly Happy Poet
I sat on an island of failure, too afraid to set out and become a sailor. One day, I laid my eyes upon a mermaid, the sight of which caused my fears to fade, and my heart to be set aflame. So I built up a mighty ship constructed of grit and what felt to be valor, and sailed off to battle the waves. Hoping, praying, that it was my heart she would crave. I kissed her on the cheek, and in that moment she would not speak. She disappeared into the drink, and with her, my heart began to sink. The floorboards creaked and moaned, for you see, my confidence had been overthrown. My ship crumbled into the sea, taking with it my courage, and me.
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Jul 31, 2018
Jul 31, 2018 at 11:53 PM UTC
My First Love