#selfhelp
There is a flower I keep in my yard.
It’s been there for as long as I can remember.
Yes, it’s still the same flower after all this time,
Despite all that has happened around it.
Rains have drowned her roots.
Water flooded her body,
She never knew when she would be able to breathe again.
Winds had torn her petals away from her.
Her plain body, bare for everyone to see,
Cold and unappealing as she shook violently in the storm.
Animals have eaten her blossoming buds.
Chewing and gnawing on her raw potential,
Only to spit it back at her when she sat heavy in their stomachs.
It might’ve taken days,
Sometimes weeks.
Months.
Years, even.
But she grew back,
Just the same as she was before.
I thought it odd.
Does she not realize how to survive?
Why couldn’t she move to a different spot?
Somewhere secluded, hidden, protected from the elements.
Why wouldn’t she change her colors, her patterns, her leaves?
All she did was attract,
It didn't matter what it was.
Predators, prey, pests, problems,
Everything wanted something from her,
And she kept on giving.
I don’t understand it.
How could something endure so much,
Yet come back the same every time?
I asked my reflection in the window,
The one that overlooks the yard where I keep my flower.
1d ago
Jun 2, 2026 at 1:54 AM UTC
In the dark hour
you can ask gods for help.
But they won't help you,
if you don't help yourself.
You can spend time on praying
long nights and long days.
It won't help you,
if you don't help yourself.
And the holy books –
put them back on the shelf.
They won't help you,
if you don't help yourself.
May 17
May 17, 2026 at 5:32 AM UTC
Walking in the middle of the Road
The only place where many don't go.
Walking in the Middle of the Road
The only place I always like to go.
Peace and quiet is only found
Only on Mornings and Nights.
Walking in the Middle of the Road
The only place where I outgrow.
Walking in the Middle of the Road
The only place where I mellow.
Try someday on a lonely day
Walking in the Middle of the Road...
© ArsinShadowWeaver
Apr 25
Apr 25, 2026 at 2:14 PM UTC
step 1: cease contact. the people you enjoy talking to? cut. academics? cut. employment? cut. remember, don’t break skin, break communication!
step 2. stop creating. creating is making you the emotional hurricane you are, so let it go! throw out the art supplies, don’t listen to music, don’t play your instruments, don’t draw, and especially…no writing when you’re emotional. you can’t immortalize yourself on paper. It defeats the purpose of the exercise. remember, don’t permanently erase yourself, erase your creativity!
step 3. hygiene is out the door. do you shower every day? do you have a regular skincare routine? do you do your makeup? (uh oh, you left a little creativity behind!). you don’t do these things in the grave, so no doing while you’re here. but we’re going for that “zombie” look as opposed to a full on cadaver. remember, don’t throw yourself in the grave, try the trash can!
step 4. get rid of clothes. clothes give you a sense of identity and we are striving to destroy that. this will help if you find yourself struggling with the previous steps. if you don’t have clothes, you can’t go out. if you take away clothes that represent yourself, you lose your will to be creative. without clothes, showering is sort of pointless because what are you going to do afterwards? wear ***** clothes? no no, that’s going to stand out as a warning sign and we’re trying to stay off the radar, not even under it. remember, don’t tear yourself open, tear those clothes apart!
step 5. sleep as much as possible. you feel nothing when you sleep. it’s great to pair with step #1. if you’re asleep, you physically can’t contact people. it’s a solid way to be forgotten. if you don’t have the time to put in the effort, eventually people will stop putting in effort too. it’s not their job to chase you and, come on, who the hell wants to do that anyway? remember, don’t lie in that coffin, lie in your bed instead!
with these 5 steps I can guarantee you will start to disappear. it has helped me tremendously! I feel better! my life is Better! the lives of the people I Love are Better! Everything is Easier! I’m more Stable than I’ve ever been! I Feel Nothing! I Don’t Feel Empty! I Don’t Feel Lost! I Don’t Regret It Everyday!!!
right?
it was the Right decision.
please...tell me i made the right decision.
Feb 12
Feb 12, 2026 at 9:12 PM UTC
// I //
beatnik interrogation seeking meaning in motorcycle metaphors
licking his lips as he professes his two-wheeled infatuation revelation.
multi-choice question
a) poet
b) song & dance man
multi-layered answers
are too esoteric for the thin pencil men
who expect black & white answers to their prods into creative endeavors.
departmentalising art by genre to first into disciplined folders or boxes
for laymen minds to come to grips with the understanding
- two-thousand years have past
yet we still debate & contemplate the crucified parables
trying to dive into the text & emerge with divine interpretations.
{polaroid photo op
a fair exchange
at this rate}
// ii //
mister jones dares to ask about corporate agendas
water on the prophet's back as he ducks and counters
with a crack at ***** banter to packed comic appreciation.
rate the covers under Donovon's duvets & of a best lady friend
never mind the otherworldly guitar solo transcendence of that poetry.
missus jones attempts a stab the Cathy Newman 'so you're saying' jab
questioning the implied & falsified disconnect bandwagon
before her husband claims that grey haired age needs labels to see
sensationalism sells and *** stirrers know this well
in their demands for hypotheticals they're fed to the lions
{'if you laugh loud enough, a funeral can digress into a circus'}.
// iiii //
for an artist nostalgia is a chain
& fame is a cage
wild horses seek open plains
one trick ponies laze in the shade
mister jones you see work in terms of dollars & cents
masking the festering fetish & fantasy of fame which you crave -
- yet an accliam which your name will never entertain
your games of five-year plans & ambition blueprint maps
are more hypotheticals to which your hair greased head is chained.
{you complain about the length of my poetry}
while asking about my plans to move into tv & film
the pity to me is the state of your creativity
shallow & shadowed by depravity.
mister jones let me explain irony
your question & expectation about the reality pf my writing
is a twist in your fate
'out there' is a badge I wear in you freedom
unshackled the societal suits or rules
& the metaphor which you question is dressed like your reflection.
/// iv ///
mister jones I'm sick of your twisted words and defamation due to your intellectual & creative limitations.
juggling definitions & rearranging preconveied perceptions
in verbiage gymnastics [IS WHAT I DO] & may touch a soft spot -
{I suggest a dictionary or engaging in conversation
before vomiting ignorant statements laced with lamented intentions}
state has a place in the field place
while time of day is of little significance in my way.
conscious mitten edits might have relevance because current minds aren't ready for the free flow subconscious writing bled from the universe
and dressed in yesterday's relevance I seek to find balance
there have never been stars in my eyes
instead I switched off the spotlight shining on my face
pinning an icon beacon onto my back is a burden which my slight shoulders
are unable to carry or sustain.
Feb 1
Feb 1, 2026 at 6:27 AM UTC
I started playing with a monster once
It used to always answer my calls,
And it was strong and promised to protect me,
It showed me anger is a feeling that sets free,
We used to fantasize about wars,
How we would eliminate the root cause,
And then it showed me evil everywhere,
Even in movies about which I once cared,
It started talking about heavy plans,
It said we should stop playing this game of pretense,
We should be more careful - even with our loved ones,
And slowly it had me between its big claws,
"Trust me, I'm your only true friend"- it replied,
Whenever I questioned its envious mind,
"The others, they never cared for you really"
It said to me and smiled very silly...
I was though naive and bought into lies,
I noticed the changes in my loved ones' eyes,
Ignoring the warmth in their voice, I withdrew,
Because I now embodied the monster's view,
I even stopped listening to them and myself,
My voice completely bogged down on the shelf,
And quickly I forgot what freedom meant,
As suddenly the monster became my best friend.
We kept on playing day in and day out,
My other friends stopped coming around,
It seemed that the monster had so many stories,
There was so much to discover these days,
Now I am awake and if I look back,
I have missed the moment to save my own back,
I got infiltrated by someone's bad life,
I got dominated and programmed to survive,
The monster's view lives in my mind
To this day, I'm looking for help to keep it away,
Perhaps it is hard to part ways after all,
It gave me an identity and I sold my soul,
But with proper help,
I can really try...
To set myself free
And say: Monster, Goodbye.
Jan 24
Jan 24, 2026 at 9:25 PM UTC
Tired
Of the
Static soul
Convinced by
Its motto - "I'm Fine"
And external progress
That riles the whirlwinds
Of extreme, intoxicating confusion
Though the core of the heart remains
Brimming with pools of eternal emptiness
The insane animal trapped in its cage of destruction
Where reality is the mist of the past's foggy illusions.
May the path of life lead to the eternal road of death,
A suicide note.
Jan 4
Jan 4, 2026 at 6:34 AM UTC
Reframing a mental space can take a life time - or a few months depending on the dedication of the subject to the rituals that can modify thought, feeling, and lifestyle. This is a thought piece more than a poem but I feel it may resonate well here.
Step One: Open the Door
Close your eyes. Envision the front door of your home—your mind. Step inside and immediately turn on the light. Where are you? What do you see? Notice the corners, the floors, the shadows. Name the sensations, the thoughts, the emotions present: restless, heavy, scattered, dormant. Awareness is the lamp—without it, every foundation wobbles.
Step Two: Walk the Rooms
Every habit, memory, and feeling lives in a room. Some are cluttered but alive—creativity, anger, unresolved grief. Others are empty—apathy, doubt, despair. Walk through without judgment. Decide: what will you clear, what will you strengthen, what will you leave alone for now? Inspection is not condemnation; it’s understanding.
Step Three: Guard Your Labor
Do not waste effort on empty thoughts or broken dreams. Direct your work toward purpose. Let writing, crafting, building, or tending your space reinforce your mental beams. Routine and rhythm are the tools that turn chaos into order.
Step Four: Anchor Through Action
Movement secures your house. Knead dough, sweep floors, chop vegetables, hammer boards. Small acts are beams, lighting rooms, closing gaps. Do not wait for inspiration—let your hands guide your thoughts, your feet measure your halls. Action translates awareness into structure.
Step Five: Reinforce and Adjust
A house requires maintenance. Walk the halls often. Which rooms sag? Which doors stick? Strengthen, repair, open. Let your mind become a dwelling shaped by care, not reaction—a space that holds sorrow without prisoning it, joy without burning it.
Conclusion: Architect of Thought
Inspection and labor turn turbulence into order. The lamp of awareness lights your way. Your hands and actions hold the house steady. Move through it with purpose. Build a space that serves every thought, every action, every prayer.
Close with Integration:
As you clean your mind, clean your home methodically the same way. Sweep, sort, clear, repair—watch your actions mirror your inner work. Let the physical rhythm visualize the mental tasks at hand. Your house becomes a map, your labor a meditation, your hands the architects of clarity.
Nov 4, 2025
Nov 4, 2025 at 6:27 PM UTC
If I were to start again, I would do everything perfectly.
That’s the benefit of hindsight.
I’d sleep for exactly eight hours every night.
Every day I’d eat three square meals with balanced nutrition.
Every week I’d manage my finances and save every penny so that I can buy a three-bedroom house for my perfect family by the time I’m thirty.
But first, I’d travel the world: learning every language, exploring nature, absorbing culture and cuisine.
After I’ve got my two degrees of course.
So, I’d study through my youth to get the perfect grades.
But not too much, I still need perfect friends.
Maybe I’d go to a party, but I’d never get drunk nor touch a cigarette.
I’d always wear the perfect amount of makeup and do my skincare nightly.
But of course, I wouldn’t start my skincare too young, that would harm my skin barrier.
And don’t worry, I’ll wear sun cream every day.
I know I won’t have my parents for long, so I’ll spend time with them.
But not too much.
I know how important that teenaged distancing phase is.
My hair will always be in perfect, tidy curls.
‘A curler’ you say? Oh no, don’t you know what heat does to your hair?
I’ll donate to charity every month.
Which one?
Environment? Mental health? Homelessness? Animal shelters? Humanitarian aid…?
The list goes on, I can’t decide who needs me the most.
Maybe I’ll just donate to them all.
But not too much.
I still must save.
I’ll never consume too much, or too little.
No more than thirty minutes on a screen.
10,000 steps every day and meditation in the morning.
Ten years of work experience by the time I graduate high school.
I think I should have a dog. I should learn to cook. To garden. To write. To paint. To play chess. To sew my own clothes.
I need to be the perfect mother. Wife. Friend. Daughter.
I should run a marathon. I should write a book. And maybe win an Oscar, for the acting career I have on the side.
I’ll clean my bedsheets every week and use silk pillowcases.
What kind of chopping board should I use again?
Plastic? Wooden? Metal…?
If I could start again, I could try and do everything perfectly.
Or I could try just living instead?
Oct 21, 2025
Oct 21, 2025 at 9:10 AM UTC
I accept the uncomfortable and the unexpected.
Sep 7, 2025
Sep 7, 2025 at 12:48 PM UTC
I feel it’s all
right there—
within my reach,
yet so far away.
Goals, dreams,
all those shiny
self-help
and healthy-living promises—
I can’t be that person.
Someone help me.
Aug 17, 2025
Aug 17, 2025 at 9:24 AM UTC
Failures are weird things: They don't feel great but they are great!
Jul 20, 2025
Jul 20, 2025 at 7:57 PM UTC
If you ever wish to know who you are,
Look at your company.
See what you will do
When your life falls and you are in agony.
Take a stroll, a place or two
See how your body will hold
The way you act and talk;
Show your disciplined mold.
You don't need to look for progress
Your result will show it.
Your comprehension of hard times,
Tell the mindset you've built.
You thoughts and ideas
Embrace the way you talk,
How you treat others,
Or even the way you walk
And in no time should you need,
An appraiser or critic.
All you need is a mirror and mind,
And an idea to stick.
Jun 9, 2025
Jun 9, 2025 at 10:30 AM UTC
I refuse to listen to the self-harming negative talk in my mind.
I keep refocusing my attention on how I want to talk to myself instead.
Jun 8, 2025
Jun 8, 2025 at 7:42 AM UTC
8 years of therapy
therapist after therapist
nothing worked
I gained all the skills I needed
at psych wards
I never used the tools given
from the psych wards
but today is the day
therapy is not helpful
for me
but I will write my new beginnings
use the skills
do research
take my meds
and heal
I will do it by myself
because I have learned
that I am the only person
that I can rely on
May 8, 2025
May 8, 2025 at 11:20 AM UTC
Mind, stop trying to solve this old problem in endless cycles,
This door is closed, don't you see?
All these doors are closed,
But you still hope that by knocking hard or long enough,
One of them might open.
This dark and empty corridor has been where you
Spend your time day in and out, but why?
Aren't you tired of all the disappointment and frustration?
This self-abandonment keeps you looking for answers,
YOU WISH TO BE FOUND! I KNOW!
Desperately and to be honest, stubbornly, you keep your nose pointed into this one direction.
As though this corridor never had an entrance and all the ways out were through these doors,
BUT THEY DON'T WANT US!
Mind, this exhaustion brought us nowhere,
Wallowing in suffering consciously and subconsciously,
LET IT GO!
The problem is the truth you keep believing,
Your TRUTH keeps us trapped in here,
But I am tired.
Summer is coming,
This search has not helped us all these years.
Please, PLEASE, STOP!
Mind, this feeling of dullness
And this stinging emptiness,
This is not how I want to spend my life.
I am 30, let me live and experience all that is out there for me.
I WANT TO EXPLORE!
New ways of thinking.
You don't seem to notice but there is
One door missing at the main entrance
Of this long corridor,
Where we have been lost for ages!
Remember, mind, we have once come so close,
There was light, new perspectives arised,
There was happiness, gratitude, freedom!
There still is!
We need the courage to believe in it again,
LEAVE IT ALL BEHIND!
Mind, you are constantly searching for what you FEAR,
And what you fear you always find!
Then you implode, make my body go through painful waves of emotions,
Distortions, this is a self-harming behavior,
Don't you know?
Dear mind, all these thoughts you keep sending me,
Make me be ashamed of my body,
You have created a self-image for us,
Which makes enjoying life so difficult!
BUT I WON'T GIVE UP!
Mind, your creativity is astounding,
Honestly,
So is your ability to analyse and identify,
How within seconds you compare my body to others',
Point out its weaknesses,
Make it the reason to not feel enough,
Find prove for not being love worthy...
DON'T YOU SEE, MIND!
You keep your loved ones at bay,
Constant chatter of overthinking is your veil,
Looking for a sign that everyone else
Judges us in the same way that you do,
We never move beyond these walls,
Never NOT believing into the terrible curse,
This story, Mind, you keep repeating to yourself.
Now I realize that indeed we have been trapped,
We have buried and abandoned ourselves for good.
You, Mind, because you believe in this madness.
And me - who is this anyway? I am still longing
For this freedom. I have not given up.
And I WON'T!
I have made myself your slave.
Why? Because I used to rely upon you
Day and night. You have saved my life.
By building our own protective bunker,
You helped us survive!
Though THOSE DANGERS ARE OVER!
Can you hear me?
The purpose of this bunker is gone.
I am 30 now and I wanna live.
Yes, I want to let my loved ones touch my heart.
Yes, I want to experience hurt if I have to.
Yes, I want to believe in the GOOD
And not in what I've been told in childhood.
Mind, herewith I am cancelling my agreement with you,
I cannot trust your solutions without questioning them,
Lately, I realized that I have been denying my heart,
By keeping company with you for too long.
If you still want to stay in this bunker,
Knocking on sealed old doors,
Where really no one and nothing is waiting for us -
Then do it. I won't fight against it.
But I'll stop believing your stories and arguing with you.
It may take time to unbury myself and get back to light,
But I promise, I will look at myself as a young sprout,
Because I owe it to myself.
Dear mind, consider my invitation to leave the bunker
And your old beliefs behind,
To restart as a beginner's mind.
I know my heart will receive us with love and compassion
In its beautiful and peaceful chambers of light.
May 2, 2025
May 2, 2025 at 5:43 AM UTC
Snap back to reality,
Snapping out of it
Breath in
Breath out
You're not alone with it
Let's conquer
Let's wake up
Let's become
Present again,
I know we're capable,
I will support you till the very end.
I love you.
Mar 28, 2025
Mar 28, 2025 at 8:24 PM UTC
Burning
Yearning
In my heart
It's deserving
To be heard.
Body's whispers
Become screams.
Thought streams,
Where are their hot springs?
Body-mind connection
Currently a hurtful interaction,
Heaviness inside.
Whether the mind's full or empty-
Hard to tell,
The spiral repeats,
Energy depletes,
As if under a
Spell,
Leaving the body
A heavy but empty,
A burning but cold,
A lifeless but longing
A hard but soft
Shell.
Mar 24, 2025
Mar 24, 2025 at 2:57 PM UTC
03/20/25
Check in with reality. Ask for feedback. Check if what you're assuming is actually true.
This will help you reduce projection and also gain a more accurate picture of how true is what you think and believe.
It may put your insecurities at display and make you more vulnerable but that is nothing to fear.
Mar 20, 2025
Mar 20, 2025 at 5:56 AM UTC
Don't really know what I'm feeling
I'm probably feeling too much
Don't know why I feel so lonely
When every day I get your touch
Don't know why I feel numb
Numbing is a strategy
Thoughts these day get so tough
Having a heavy melody
Destiny of our souls?
Where is it written, show me,
My mind is desperate to know,
Where all this is gonna lead me
I am not ready yet
To give up on every dream
I know I keep steady
In times like these
I'm moving slowly
But with connected hearts
Art is not a real choice
It's a remedy
The only place that restores
My inner voice and my integrity
Does that mean I lack authenticity?
Maybe, out of necessity?
Maybe it's my conditioned brain,
Always wired to simply be afraid.
I've let confusion lead the way
In many of my decisions,
I've let anxiety lead me astray,
Make me lose goals and precision.
Now I am here and typing
Words in my phone from
The heart.
And I rejuvenate my core,
Feeling it's warmth,
Health being restored,
Every tiny step counts...
There's no way this depression
Will feed itself off of me.
Mar 2, 2025
Mar 2, 2025 at 6:23 PM UTC