#seasonaldepression
The sun leaves Early here
And I am seasonally depressed
I shut the door quietly
Cloaked in overcast thoughts
down the drive
Great things reside
She celebrated in November
The goodbyes to old things
Though her mind wished to shut the door
On all of her present being
Her mother wedged her arms through opening
Down the drive
Great things reside
She will pioneer in November
The newness of goals learning musical melodies
1d ago
Jun 2, 2026 at 11:45 PM UTC
Colors, colors everywhere
It seeps into my bones
I feel alive
Lights, lights sparkling
Laughter tinkles in my ears
I feel joy
Love, love spreading
Oh to give and receive kindness
I feel warmth
People, people everywhere
Loved ones and strangers alike
I feel close
Moments, moments passing
Unnoticed except to myself
I feel forgotten
Words, words whispering
Sweet nothings and twisted meanings
I feel lost
Shadows, shadows writhing
Pulling down to the ground
I feel frozen
Pain, pain grasping
Crushing soul and spirit
I feel suffocated
Silhouettes, silhouettes vanishing
Worthless and unwanted
I feel alone
Nov 21, 2025
Nov 21, 2025 at 12:36 AM UTC
seasonal depression 6.20.25 (4:30 pm / 16:30)
summer makes me sad this year
i can’t remember if it’s always been this way
i feel empty without school even though that’s what made me like this
pointless without some kind of schedule and goal
it’s so peaceful now
but i’m alone with my thoughts
even this sadness is wrong
most people are more depressed in the winter
or so they say
i stopped drawing and my sketchbook is full of poems
in dying pen
summer makes me sad this year
the way i’ve changed so much i can’t even remember how i was
before
[playing: rocket ships by cavetown]
Jun 21, 2025
Jun 21, 2025 at 5:09 PM UTC
Then suddenly I’m hit by seasonal depression
The Type that dulls the sky and interactions
Makes you Observe the world with no question
clings on to you like second skin
Makes you go crazy and contemplate sin
Whatever you do nurtures these thoughts
Like our nature was to fear and hate
Consumed by everything , consumed by shame
a horrible game we’re fated to play
Can I hide myself ? Wait for the rain to be over ?
The umbrella still wets my clothes and damps my skin
I can’t take the cold and I can’t take the heat
Everything I do seems to make me weak
Struggling with truth and make believe
Apr 13, 2025
Apr 13, 2025 at 2:24 PM UTC
i think i was supposed to be a bird
the way i hate winter
and the cold weather always seems to get to me
i would love to migrate somewhere warmer
somewhere my seasonal depression would never eat at me
i think i was supposed to be a bird
the way i always flee from things
and leave things that are good for me
i would love to be able to run away from my problems
run away from people that love me and never look back
i think i was supposed to be a bird
the way i long for family
and raising kids
i would love to make a family that is better than the one i grew up in
to make a home full of love
i think i was supposed to be a bird
the way i wish i was a part of a flock
and have people to count on
i would love to have a group that always gets along
always there for each other
i wish i was bird
Dec 21, 2024
Dec 21, 2024 at 12:39 AM UTC
Once I tried to convince myself that it was seasonal,
And that it would pass like the chilly weather.
Then flowers started to blossom,
But I was still stuck in the bud of my mind
And birds came back from migration,
But my happiness didn't.
Though there were no more flurries of snow in the air,
There were still blizzards in me.
Now, I wasn't only freezing,
But I was alone.
While my teeth were chattering,
I watched everyone else have fun in the sun.
With no one here, no one to snuggle up with, it's impossible to keep warm.
I tried to reach out at least a hand to their summer world,
But it could never reach me.
It's almost like I have a repellent on me,
And no matter how hard i scrub,
It always remains.
But of course, I'm not going to drag others into this winter with me.
Because I know the nature of it.
And I wouldn’t want to inflict it on anyone;
Once it begins, it'll never end.
This eternal winter
has no escape.
This eternal winter
Will be the death of me.
Oct 30, 2024
Oct 30, 2024 at 11:23 PM UTC
Sometimes you’re mentally just falling, and you need someone to hold onto you before you hit the ground.
Oct 30, 2024
Oct 30, 2024 at 12:13 PM UTC
Dead flowers lay on the floor
stems cut to try and save the petals in failed attempt
One
By one
They all fall
Until there's nothing left at all
The Autumn chill indicating the end
For without death,
no one would miss the twirl of a sycamore seed
or the fresh face of daisies who have just bloomed
So as all the petals fall,
and I gently go with
Maybe I'll be missed after all
Feb 16, 2021
Feb 16, 2021 at 1:08 AM UTC
butterfly>
biscuits>
olive =
get emotional
butterfly>
needles>
stitch=
me up please
something
is very wrong
tis the season
to smile
go home
and cry
hope??
haven’t seen her
it’s all
blood vials
dead dogs
expired wine
fruit dropped
on the floor
children walking by
looking for a
drunk nutcracker
named tipsy
and i can’t even
syphon off some
of their joy
because something
is definitely wrong
and they’re fresh out
where do the
butterflies go
when it’s winter
and hopeless?
why do they
leave when
we need
them most?
get emotional
stitch me up
rinse
repeat
happy holidays
let the worry
creep through
the greenery
drape some
guilt on the tree
wrapped in twinkling
strings of panic
cranberry flavored
family fights
anxiety but
make it festive
depression but
make it seasonal
could i get a
butterfly down here?
just some kind of
hopeful flutter
a dog
a needle
anything to
grasp onto
just to get
through
december
find a butterfly
on a ransacked
holiday shelf
70% off and
picked over
get emotional
stitch me up
something is
very wrong
depression
but make it seasonal
Dec 5, 2020
Dec 5, 2020 at 12:47 PM UTC
This autumn season
For fall scented candles
Give depression a reason
To prove a counterexample
For fall scented candles
Remind us of winter
To prove a counterexample
How people wither
Remind us of winter
Seasonal depression's returns
How people wither
With personal concerns
Seasonal depression returns
To prepare for a storm
With personal concerns
Leaving little warm.
Give depression a reason
To prepare for a storm
Leaving little warm
This autumn season.
Oct 11, 2019
Oct 11, 2019 at 11:51 PM UTC
I want you to chase me
when I walk away.
To put in a little effort.
Show me you care,
Show me that you want me around.
Show me you want me here.
I need your reassurance,
Someone’s..
Anyone’s..
Preferably yours.
I want you to pay attention to me.
I want your time.
No scheduling,
No planning.
I want to see you whenever we’re free.
No sneaking,
No meetups.
I want someone to see
When I wake up.
Day after day,
Month after month,
I want years with the same one .
I want to appreciate every single second
Every breath I take in your presence
I want to
Cherish every accidental touch
Every smile that lights up your face
Every word that makes my heart race
I want the same
Friday nights movie dates
I want the “I’m on my way home ,
You want a milkshake?”
A “text me when you make it home,
So I know you’re safe.”
I want there to be no distance between our minds.
I wanna know all of your thoughts ,
And I want you to want to know all of mine.
I want you to have time for me .
Don’t make time when you’re free,
Like you have to put a reminder in your schedule
Just to see me.
Saying you miss me
Knowing you only miss the pleasure
I can bring you.
I want you to want my mind
as much as you want what’s between my thighs.
I want to be known
By you.
Truly.
I wanna fall in love with your words
because I know they’re true
not because you’re only saying them
because they’ll benefit you.
I want more from you than you can offer me.
Even if I have to beg,
I’d beg
For you to **** me instead.
Just off me!
Only two things I plead
The fifth and insanity.
I want more things than I deserve to want.
Because the thing about “I deserve”
Is that you don’t deserve a thing
In life, except the right to breathe.
So, what do I want you ask?
I want someone to want me.
Mar 19, 2019
Mar 19, 2019 at 12:38 PM UTC
My smile seems to have been misplaced in the past month
It treats me more like an acquaintance now
Stopping to talk every once in a while
But never getting too close
Jan 30, 2019
Jan 30, 2019 at 12:41 PM UTC
i just wanna sleep
but all my dreams are dead.
maybe i could find a way
to wake them up instead,
‘cause all i am is tired bones
longing for my bed;
every minute standing is
a blur of pain in my head
shut my lids, count to five
nightmares flicker behind my eyes
darkness creeps, i’m alive
and time keeps slipping by
Nov 25, 2018
Nov 25, 2018 at 3:26 PM UTC
There are days when the sky is a vibrant blue and the sun expels its warmth
upon my shoulders,
then there are days when the sky is filled
with nothing but a melancholy grey,
and I embody nothing but the rain.
On those days,
I may have to drink an extra cup of coffee to pull myself out of bed and face the slight suffocation the real world places upon me.
On those days,
I may not have much of an appetite and will push away any thought of food, even though I know I should eat.
On those days,
my eyes may become heavy, filled with just as much water as the storm clouds lingering up above me.
Some days I wake up
feeling as radiant as the sun,
and some days I wake up feeling as
dreary as the rain.
But at least I always make sure to
wake up and be something.
Nov 5, 2018
Nov 5, 2018 at 8:21 PM UTC
Loss of energy
don't seem to know what's happening
Was so bright
swear I had this kind of limelight
Now i feel blue with a deeper kind of hue
no motivation at all it's like
I'm stuck behind this **** wall
Lately I've been hearing this expression
they say it's called seasonal depression
But how can this winter's dew
all of a sudden make me feel this blue
Snow falling from the sky is exceptionally beautiful
how can they say that's what's making me feel so unusual
All these amazing things keep falling in my lap
yet for some reason all I want to do is take a nap
For days and days and days and so on
Sleeping is the only time which my energy isn't gone
Maybe it is this expression and in the summer my energy will come back
till then I guess I'll just have to lack.
Feb 14, 2018
Feb 14, 2018 at 1:04 PM UTC
i am frozen inside an ice box filled with dagger shaped icicles of what i’ve been trained to do right
yet i am hopelessly drowning in melted water with my unforgiving wrongs
my lungs are searching for the air in this rainy city
my actions have me disconnected
i am the chord wrapped around your thumb as you pace aimlessly on the phone
i am the six blankets and four pillows falling on my bed to hide my eyes that don’t remember
i am the scared child hiding in the bathroom when everything turns black from the storm
i am the one who turned off the light
now i can’t see where i’m pacing, my heart is blinded and it’s racing
the six blankets and four pillows on my bed are dark and suffocating
i need to see but i’m terrified to turn the light back on
how can one person possess so many feelings?
he loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me not
it only took a moment of magical laughter to know how full you make me
but still, the carousel won’t stop turning and neither will my stomach
vulnerability is a part of change
i am ashamed and afraid of how i want to be the best version of me for myself
confined by swollen eyes and wrinkle lines, i need to break out of this ice box
my emotion tattooed eyes are a filter only i can read. i’m disconnected
i refuse to be defined by others
Jan 3, 2018
Jan 3, 2018 at 12:53 PM UTC
a lot has changed. i've developed a love for the lowercase.
i lost a love for you.
i gained a love for her. and that shifted to a new thing. a thing i can't always quite explain.
it seems all my work has always been about others. i find inspiration in bricks and dogs and pebbles and people.
and now i'm finding my inspiration in me.
even if i'm scaring me a little. the days are darker shades of grey than i would like but they haven't gotten the best of me yet. and so i keep writing.
because i have to. because i need to. because "where i'm from that **** hurts".
Apr 14, 2016
Apr 14, 2016 at 10:43 PM UTC