#redundant
I can’t get her off my mind
You’d think I’d like this find
I thought alc was supposed to help you forget
Bet
Naw she still creeps in my brain
It goes around like a circle train
May 11, 2025
May 11, 2025 at 12:22 AM UTC
I see you look at me
But do you see me?
Am I see through?
Could it be that easy?
When you do look,
What are you looking for?
Only what you want to see?
What if I'm something more?
((What if I'm nothing more?))
Will you lie to yourself
If you see something different?
If I'm not perfect but maybe adjacent
Will that still justify a replacement?
I don't know what this is
I don't know why I form questions
To queries I want no answers too
Just to repeat the painful lessons
©2025
Jan 11, 2025
Jan 11, 2025 at 3:03 PM UTC
All he wanted
Was to feel the pages against his fingers
Engulf his mind in something new
Or old perhaps, different.
Everything bled together, the pages are now muddied
Dedications confused with conclusion
Off we go, to the streets to find distraction
Anything beats dreaded solitude
When did this begin?
Between The Box Car Children and Jung
Jun 11, 2024
Jun 11, 2024 at 7:28 PM UTC
Something awoken I long thought dead
Something broken, back from the dead
The long sleep felt too long in my head
Now I sleep with everything she said
Something smoking in my bed
I was choking while she bled
Turning hope from black to red
then back to black the minute she left
I've traced her steps and every one led
to water I can't walk on or even tread
Still jumped in, now I'm sinking like lead
Going down quicker than the sickest head
At the bottom I float not living or dead
Stuck in a limbo of my own intent
My prayers returned, unopened, unsent
All i have left is the long cold descent
Redundancy,
my currency to the last cent
I can't seem to help repeating myself
Can't seem to stop teetering on the edge
of nothing to say that hasn't been said
Jul 7, 2019
Jul 7, 2019 at 11:01 AM UTC
#*A promise I make
Believe in resolutions
Maybe, maybe not
To make or break...
Break...
Maybe yes
Easy
A rebel at heart right from the start
A promise I make
To my thoughts
They shall be worded
Maybe... maybe not
And
I shall keep
The promise I make*#
Jan 22, 2019
Jan 22, 2019 at 11:08 AM UTC
I will fail you,
I will fall.
Let you down just like before.
Everything I built will burn.
Broken dreams and broken trust
Crush the hopes you held so dear.
A shallow wave,
I'm so wind tossed.
I can't find my way.
A thousand nights I've spent right here.
A thousand times I've fallen down.
I spend more time in the grave
Than with the living.
What is wrong?
Why can't I change?
I'm always lost or in the way,
And so tired now,
I just want to die.
Because I'm so tired
Of my own tired out excuses.
And I'm so done
With this over played refrain.
I've rehearsed these lines
A thousand times,
But everything is useless.
No matter how hard I try, how hard I cry,
Nothing will ever change.
Can you find me?!
Do you still love me?!
Will you save me once again?
I spend more time falling,
Than I ever do on my feet.
Tell me! Please! Tell me!
What the Hell is wrong with me?!
Dec 14, 2018
Dec 14, 2018 at 5:39 PM UTC
Do you know what it’s like
To be required no more,
To be put out to grass,
To be kicked out the door,
To know your work’s ended,
No more will be done,
To be slung on the tip,
Pushed aside by the young,
To be pensioned off
In an unceremonious way,
To know you’ve had your’s -
Every dog has its day,
To have an appetite for work,
But be left to hunger,
To be replaced by someone
More able and younger,
To be told you’re too old,
When you feel in your prime,
To be sent on your bike,
Before it’s your time,
To be all washed up
And flushed down the drain,
To have no physical wounds,
But still be in pain,
To feel your age,
Find you’re no Peter Pan,
To see your life going
No longer to plan,
To recall when you felt rich,
But now you feel poor,
To hear your heart slowly pumping,
Alas’ it races no more,
To experience an emptiness
That nothing will fill,
To have no medical symptoms,
But still feel ill,
To be out of control
Of your own destiny,
To be constantly asking
Why me ... why me?
Mar 24, 2018
Mar 24, 2018 at 4:20 PM UTC
Reflecting into my vision
Red
Reading between the lines of my own mind
Running away
Red
Running back
Rotten judgement is what I seem to be
Red
Ripped away from what I know about myself
Reviling is what I am accused of
Red
Right or wrong doesn't seem to matter anymore
Responsibility knocks on my door
Red
Reduce the yearning
Remorse fills my eyes
Red
Rolling my eyes in mockery
Checkmate
Nov 10, 2017
Nov 10, 2017 at 3:50 AM UTC
The fact you repeat something over & over again
But it becomes completely unnecessary
Is redundant
When you lead me on.
Showing a bit of emotion.
The commotion kills my brain like a potion
But it's rundant
The more we speak around,
The more our heart will drown,
Because that bush that wasn't easy to get around
Has you down
But beating through that bush,
Will only cause me to push
Back to a reality that that will be missed
I hear it now, but I see something else
I hear it now, but I want it to be something else
Constantly exploring this muscle
That's called a heart.
But when I search it's cold and dark
But I know it's uncalled for
Because it's redundant to think about that thought.
Feb 28, 2017
Feb 28, 2017 at 6:18 PM UTC
A flower is poetically redundant,
I'd rather use a bomb with wires -red, green, and blue.
Cut one, let's see if she loves me!
Feb 12, 2017
Feb 12, 2017 at 11:00 PM UTC
I have lost.
Count.
Or stopped.
Counting..
On others.
I exhale.
To dispell.
Hopeless.
Nights.
As i drag.
Heavy.
Feet.
To.
Ward.
The darkness.
I fall.
Tier after.
Tear.
To tare.
A.
way.
Sadly.
Division wins.
Again.
Jul 26, 2016
Jul 26, 2016 at 12:36 AM UTC
You are the cause of your own suffering
I tell myself everyday,
but I still bathe in silt and shame.
Rinse. Recycle. Repeat.
I tell myself everyday
how mundane it is to be redundant:
Rinse. Recycle. Repeat.
Everybody that looks at me sees
how mundane it is to be redundant.
You only get one masterpiece;
everybody that looks at me sees
that's not a rainbow, it's an oil spill.
You only get one masterpiece,
but I still bathe in silt and shame -
that's not a rainbow, it's an oil spill.
You are the cause of your own suffering.
May 24, 2016
May 24, 2016 at 3:25 PM UTC
Redundant sexless girl
Unable to fulfill your biological purpose
The species will not continue
- Not from your *****
Your womb is dried up
The monthly cleanse broken
Interrupted
Your ovaries cry out-
*The rain does not come
The rain does not come
The rain does not come*
To wash away the old
Prepare for the
Coiling, growing, emerging
The innocence to be birthed
And spoiled by this world's evil.
Redundant sexless girl
Drained of life-giving blood
Drained of nurturing power
Drained of womanhood
Redundant sexless girl
Barren girl
What use have you?
What purpose?
What right have you to still walk this most fertile Earth?
Feb 27, 2015
Feb 27, 2015 at 12:12 AM UTC
Redundancy.
I read my words
and I’m sickened,
that you had this
effect on me. I read
them and I’m fatigued
by the redundancy.
I have nothing to say
that hasn’t been said
in the same way
only reconstructed
to better play the illusion
of new ideas and
some sort of change.
There is always the basis
the substance of being
the substance being
my overactive feelings
and constant repression
of what makes me alive—
this feeds the depression
and I cry when I think
and I’m dead when I don’t
I’m lying when I speak
and lying when I don’t
I’m fighting every day
my feelings when I
have them, and finding
every day, I have more than
I can fathom, and I can’t
always put into words
how or why I feel things
so I tend to repeat
what comes naturally
and when I reread
I am exhausted by
my own redundancy.
Aug 18, 2014
Aug 18, 2014 at 2:50 AM UTC
I go through the days
Thinking about what makes me happy
But I sometimes realize
I don't want happiness
I don't desire assured satisfaction
I wish to feel human
To feel desolate
To feel my pain
To feel true life
A foundation of depression
A sense of isolation
To comfort my shell
Of what I used to be
Mar 27, 2014
Mar 27, 2014 at 4:20 PM UTC