I was 19,
naive, idealistic,
thinking a nursing home
would be a fun, rewarding job.
I’d play bingo with the old people
and hand out smiles
like medication.
By the end of the first week,
I was elbows deep in **** and ****
***** coating my forearms,
wrinkled skin like crepe paper,
teeth that wouldn’t close right,
or none at all,
and blank eyes staring at nothing,
or glimmers of a life
they once had.
Dementia attacked their brains,
Alzheimer’s stole their identity,
but they still wanted my hand,
still needed a smile,
still wanted to matter,
even if for only a moment.
I learned to take blood pressures
and count respirations
and lift bodies like wet sacks
and wrap them in sheets
with gentle finality,
slide them onto gurneys
bound for the morgue.
I swore to myself
I would never forget
the weight,
the warmth,
the silence.
My back ached.
My shoulders screamed
like angry drunks at closing time,
my hands raw from soap
and oceans of hard water.
But I stayed,
because someone had to be there.
Someone has to care,
even when it smells like death
and despair
and ****
all mixed in with
old flowery perfume,
coffee,
and antiseptic.
The nurses taught me everything:
how to laugh at a **** in the hall,
the different ways to take a temperature,
how to hold a shaking hand,
how to keep your heart from breaking
while the ones you’ve grown to love
slip silently away.
I survived on caffeine,
laughter,
and cigarettes,
tiny victories —
a grin,
a whispered thank you,
a fleeting spark of recognition
in a broken mind.
By the end,
it made a semblance of sense.
I understood humanity
a bit better,
how cruel life could be,
how beautiful it could be,
and why people need people,
even when they’ve forgotten
how to ask.
13h ago
Jun 4, 2026 at 9:33 AM UTC
First ordinary thing I noticed today,
was a heap of laundry,
the washing machine,
the dishwasher standing right next to it.
Silent now, set to hum
Prepared to serve for the day
How can the ordinary be special?
Or how special can the ordinary be,
If not for their presence in our lives?
Ever so present, just like our breath
We know it is there, keeping us alive.
The ordinary is extraordinarily present
On any ordinary day.
14h ago
Jun 4, 2026 at 8:57 AM UTC
Most times I tidy the space,
before I go,
sometimes I forget
However messy I leave it,
The room I come back to is always inviting
The room never loses its energy,
I do sometimes
I loved the space, when I left,
it loved me back, always has
Holds me, regardless, holds no grudge
14h ago
Jun 4, 2026 at 8:55 AM UTC
There is no death
there is memory, resting in flowers,
soft sounds that return
at unexpected moments,
making us pause
that voice,
those hands,
that tenderness,
the scent of peonies,
the scent of summer near
Sing, birds,
let us be glad
with those who no longer ask to be noticed,
Even if we forget
they will be remembered
by the wind
by the colors
by the earth that once carried them
Memory opens the wide peony blooms,
and there,
between the petals,
looks at us
a caring
eternity
1d ago
Jun 3, 2026 at 9:02 AM UTC
Comfort gathers the soul to heart
then forgives
but more importantly
it forgets
Love never slights
forgiveness
Nor does comfort
slay love
1d ago
Jun 3, 2026 at 9:01 AM UTC
Code blue!
You played the siren for me
And I left my heart in the back of your ambulance
Code blue?
Healthcare is here to save the day:
Fill me with holes
And let the auction begin
Someone else is now walking about
With my inner parts
I'm of a mind to sue
But you took that too
1d ago
Jun 3, 2026 at 8:52 AM UTC
I remember blowing bubbles, winsome bubbles in the air
Enchanted by their beautiful prismatic hues
As they danced upon the breeze like ballerinas in free flow--
The art of blowing large bubbles was a long, steady exhalation
Once I blew a bubble so large it unceremoniously kissed my face
I laughed at the bubble fairies' aqueous embrace...
Now I blow bubbles to improve my lung function and breathlessness
A far cry from the child smiling with the sun in her eyes
Infirmity is an uninvited visitor here to stay until death's sweet release
So this too shall pass, when my ashes blow upon the winds of peace...
Well, this is turning out to be a rather morbid affair
To be honest, the days feel like scaling Everest without a rope
Thus, I've taken up mountaineering, accompanied by lost hope...
Tomorrow will be better is a fallacy, for the 'morrow doesn't exist
Thus, I've fallen in love with clouds, and today the sky is grey
Now is the only moment available to blow pretty bubbles
Grateful for every mindful breath, with the sun in my heart
Peace be upon you, love's timeless truth doth impart...
2d ago
Jun 2, 2026 at 12:28 PM UTC
Life happens in phases
A sinusoidal wave
Of troughs and crests
In between, a pause
And then a quiet rest
You can hear the silence
And the sound of music
Before you finally hear your own heartbeat
And the rhythm of it
All over again
2d ago
Jun 2, 2026 at 6:48 AM UTC
Like a fallen petal
The thoughts distraught, words unseen
When did the flower bloom
The bird sought warmth
seeds lay aplenty
Under its frozen wings
Mountain had peaks
Flights were delayed
for lack of visibility
The playground was empty
Vacant swings swayed
Winds played along
Cheerleaders cheered
For the nonexistent on stage
Still cheering, their song
The last line ended
On an empty note
Words kept their word
May 27
May 27, 2026 at 10:04 AM UTC
My body
is changing
I feel it
my fingers
want to write
but spreadsheets are waiting
to be filled
with words no one
will ever read
I am
to meet expectations
of closed boxes
that measure human worth
with a ruler
and though I crumbled
a dried leaf
already turned to dust,
I see how many of Beksiński’s fears
still pull me
by the left trouser leg
I am at the bottom of the pyramid
breathing
rules
made in haste
by others
I am formed
by the system
while aware
of a self
spilling beyond its shape
my page does not fall
it wants neither
the left
nor the right side
Grief rises
in scattered pieces
I want to build something
that will be mine
and mine alone
from thought
from the will to exist
not from other people’s systems
that do not know
which drawer to place the belief in
that a person who falls
can stand up again
without pushing aside
the breath of others
May 18
May 18, 2026 at 10:16 PM UTC
