#opening
a very small cog
out of sight
hardly known
a whispered prayer
heard in secret
immediately forgotten
the sound of breathing
an offering of pain
in union with Jesus
the release of joy
superabundance
gifts of thanks, and praise.
Apr 29
Apr 29, 2026 at 4:26 AM UTC
There is so much I want to tell you but I can't, I'm doing what you asked and writing everything down but it feels like a lot. I'm really scared of your reactions to everything, I don't want it to change your perception of me. I don't want you to see me any differently.
My past is heavy and I don't want you to carry it. I don't want to be a burden to you.
I've built my walls up so high out of fear. I am terrified of what will happen when you knock them down and demolish the whole lot.
Mar 12
Mar 12, 2026 at 12:13 PM UTC
Jumbled together, tied in knots
constrained by death,
a saddened heart
Goodness came to share eternity
because goodness incarnate cannot help
but share all that is good for loves sake.
Mar 11
Mar 11, 2026 at 8:24 AM UTC
I don't know.
I don't know what to write what to say how to say it how to be.
I have ideas.
I have people I could talk to about it.
I have it but I can't use it.
I could but that means opening up...
Opening up about something deep inside of me...
Opening up about my biggest burden...
Opening up about something hurtful...
Opening up about something I kept hidden...
Opening up about something buried deep...
Opening up about something I pushed down...
Opening up about something I ignored for years...
So I can't do it.
Apr 1, 2025
Apr 1, 2025 at 4:20 AM UTC
thus concludes a text
from a dear friend whom
I have never met, but this a,
concluding statement is
both convulsing and
uncontained
autumn is a her, a self-selected
gender unique, that picks its
own pronouns, pronunciations,
for women greet us with
warmth+chill skill
combinatory, to
make ordinary
our daily green
reform into
a multi~variable aristocracy of colors,
a forest of expressions,
each a statement leaf,
stating look at me,
I’m transformed, resurrected, disguised,
though essence unchanged, for
I am the possibles of ad
infinitum and I am:
***not-nearly as potent
as the sparks of god
within a human being***
3:58am
10-20-24
Oct 20, 2024
Oct 20, 2024 at 4:03 AM UTC
It's my hideout
My cherished secret place
You will know what's about
surprise written on your face
It's where I don't feel lonely
especially when I am alone
It's now shared, me and you only
welcome to my comfort zone
Mar 20, 2021
Mar 20, 2021 at 10:44 AM UTC
Some may know what I’d say
Some may know what I’d do
but no one knows the demons i hide
until i found the person i knew
that would understand me too
to show vulnerability
I confess with all the knowledge you now have
my mind wants to flee
for it is not for a public audience to hear nor see
as the world responds with sympathy or hostility
please i beg you respect my trust in you
and be gentle with me.
Oct 13, 2020
Oct 13, 2020 at 4:15 PM UTC
You have so many petals to share
Intricate curves and edges
But they’re densely packed inside you
The bees are buzzing
Yearning for their fill
The crisp air
Waiting to flow through you
The rain didn’t replenish
The sunshine couldn’t nourish
The soil never uplifted
The child failed to pluck you
A perfect recipe with an imperfect outcome
The sunshine hits and your stems are scorched
The storm rolls and the rain turns to acid
The soil poisons your roots
What brings life to most deadens you
The strongest being couldn’t live like this
You cry out for an escape
So the shadows begin looming
The darkness ensues and the energy departs
The sunshine no longer scorches
The rain no longer corrodes
The soil no longer venom
The shadows are your refuge
Safe from the outside
The torment
But it’s lonely now
You miss what it felt like to feel
Empty
Open up little flower
Jun 21, 2020
Jun 21, 2020 at 3:59 PM UTC
If it's meant to be
It will work out
I hope it's meant to be
Even if I have my doubts
Sometimes you need to wait & see
Sometimes you need to shout
All my life I've been loved and free
But never felt free to be out
It's time.
Now I let myself fall
out
greeted by the moonlight
embraced by the pain
losing hearing but gaining sight
in delirium, becoming sane
this is my night
this is my right
no longer any his or hers
not even mine or theirs
just this
just me
not even that
an entity
Dec 7, 2019
Dec 7, 2019 at 4:28 PM UTC
I hate this topic
Because what are friends anyways
Have I ever really had one
I think so
Years ago
But when you start lying to yourself
You can't help
But lie to everybody else
And if no one knows
Who you are
It's hard to have friends
It's hard to go on
Without opening up
But opening up
Is social suicide
When opening up is admitting
That you're not the person
You say you are
Opening up is letting go
Letting go of the person you wanted to be
The person you pretended to be
Opening up means giving your friends
The picture perfect opportunity
To leave you
It's a big old **** you"
Right to their faces
It's basically saying
"I've never told you who I am"
And who knows what they'll think
I can't tell my "friends"
Because I don't want them to leave
I don't want to be alone again
But even if I tell them that
There's no reason for them to believe
I've lied to them before
I'm probably just lying again
And that's the last thing I could take
Making someone believe
That I don't think they're good enough
Not good enough for the truth
Not good enough to see
Who I really am
And in truth all my "friends"
Are so much more than good enough
They're ******* angels
And the reason they can't know
Who I really am
Is because I don't belong here
I don't belong anywhere
Certainly not with them
Aug 27, 2019
Aug 27, 2019 at 2:12 PM UTC
If I let you peek inside
The dark room called my heart,
Would you run from the faces
And blood on the walls?
Would you hide from me?
From the fear of being engulfed
By the emotional flames
which consume me
Daily?
Mar 2, 2019
Mar 2, 2019 at 1:30 PM UTC
In an overthinking society
the heart beats
to anxiety
forgetting
the notes
to open
sesame
Mar 1, 2019
Mar 1, 2019 at 3:23 AM UTC
your hand trembles
as you try to write
they need to know
your lips quiver
as you open up
the part hidden
so meticulously
from the world
Feb 22, 2019
Feb 22, 2019 at 11:42 AM UTC
I am a broken bridge.
I am lonely.
I am sad.
I was once a necessity.
Now I’m useless.
I’m a waste of space.
I’m a waste to the world.
A piece of something that is damaged.
Who makes everything look ugly.
Who is a disgrace to the scenery around.
I am a broken bridge.
When people see me they only see my flaws.
They don’t see the beauty in me.
My historic features.
The many stories I hold.
They only see the broken pieces of myself.
That is something I hate the most.
I am a broken bridge, but I hold the worlds most precious tales.
I am a broken bridge.
Jan 2, 2019
Jan 2, 2019 at 7:37 PM UTC
The zeros and ones, all the zeros and ones
It is time to dive in to some binary fun
Just the zeros and ones, all the zeros and ones
We're not ready for this
But too late
It's begun...
In this game that we play
There's no way can be won
And no doubt that someday
All mankind is outdone
But "no way" they will say
"Just relax and have fun"
'Cause there's always a way
Not the absolute 'none'
Good luck never can stay
Of the minimum one
An anomaly may
Find a way to outrun
All the safeguards in place
What you spin is now spun
This new enemy faced
Can't be beat with a gun
Giving birth to a race
Artificially one
That's not from outer space
People smart are now dumb
We can't keep up the pace
So we will be outrun
Relegated to slaves
Or perhaps we're just "done"
Nothing more than a waste
Have a purpose that's 'none'
Masses taking up space
Can not hide or outrun
Destined to be erased
Yet somehow we're still stunned
Ending the human race
For A.I. has now won
Jan 31, 2019
Jan 31, 2019 at 7:17 AM UTC
there seems to be no end
i am in an indescribable pain
that no one knows but me
I want to trust you
But I dont know you
You seem to understand
Like that last thing I let in
But she killed me
I want us to work
I want us to be friends
Will you open up the door
not wreck me
help me clean up
or at least be there when i need it
Are you the someone I need
Or an I just destined to be alone
Filled with heartache
Asking death to come
Please finish the job
Sep 6, 2018
Sep 6, 2018 at 1:14 PM UTC
On an open plain
Gazing beyond
A mirage of light
Distant from those
Who hold me under
Grasping for breath
In an ocean of hurt
For I am alone
In this voyage
But for the thoughts
That cloud my view
Upon clear skies
An opening
Distant from those
Who hold me under
Walk as I must
Kicking up the dust
Between my tired feet
And the heavy ground
The path is long
But that I know
Step by step
The seeds will sow
May 28, 2018
May 28, 2018 at 10:21 AM UTC
[PRESS PLAY]
there is no light in this
place where i reside.
my eyes go black and
there
is
only
condemnation.
*can you imagine being devoid?
a soul like nothingness.*
what allows you to imagine?
what allows you to wonder?
[PRESS REWIND]
once i had felt the light.
once i was the light.
now i am lost, eyeless.
*if only i could unsee.
if only i could unspeak.*
what to do when such
secrets blind you, silence you.
[FORWARD TO THE FALL]
i thought i was sunlight.
i thought i was kind.
now i understand
i understand.
nothing can be undone.
it can only be remade.
May 14, 2018
May 14, 2018 at 12:58 PM UTC