#od - Hello Poetry

#od

I want to get so high that I can’t hear my name, can’t feel the weight of mirrors reflecting all my shame. Anything will do a pill, a bottle, a cloud of smoke I want to outrun the whispers and the rules I always broke. Sometimes it’s just too much the stares, the likes, the skin I’m in, So I chase the dizzy hush where nothing hurts within. Let me float past curfews past curdled dreams and fights at home, just one more hit, one more escape, just one more way to roam. Maybe I’ll get so high I’ll finally disappear, And maybe then the ache will stop Or maybe I’ll just be nowhere near. I wish I knew another way to mend a heart that’s breaking, but tonight I’ll take whatever comes, no matter what it’s taking.

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1h ago

Jun 3, 2026 at 9:31 PM UTC

I want to get so high that I can’t hear my name, can’t feel the weight of mirrors reflecting all my shame. Anything will do a pill, a bottle, a cloud of smoke I want to outrun the whispers and the rules I always broke. Sometimes it’s just too much the stares, the likes, the skin I’m in, So I chase the dizzy hush where nothing hurts within. Let me float past curfews past curdled dreams and fights at home, just one more hit, one more escape, just one more way to roam. Maybe I’ll get so high I’ll finally disappear, And maybe then the ache will stop Or maybe I’ll just be nowhere near. I wish I knew another way to mend a heart that’s breaking, but tonight I’ll take whatever comes, no matter what it’s taking.

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Some nights I count pink pills in my trembling palm, It promises rest, or maybe something calmer I wonder if a handful could hush the storm within, If letting go would finally let me win. I sit in the bathroom, cold tile against my skin, Haunted by the weight of everything I’ve been. But then, through the haze, a memory breaks through My mother’s tired eyes, my sister’s laughter, too. I think of family photos, sticky notes on the fridge, The way my father worries, pacing at the edge. I imagine empty chairs and dinners gone cold, The stories they’d tell, the grief left untold. So I put the bottle down, wipe the tears from my face, Knowing the hardest battles never leave a trace. I stay for the ones I love, though the darkness calls my name.

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May 22

May 22, 2026 at 9:00 PM UTC

The reason I stay

Some nights I count pink pills in my trembling palm, It promises rest, or maybe something calmer I wonder if a handful could hush the storm within, If letting go would finally let me win. I sit in the bathroom, cold tile against my skin, Haunted by the weight of everything I’ve been. But then, through the haze, a memory breaks through My mother’s tired eyes, my sister’s laughter, too. I think of family photos, sticky notes on the fridge, The way my father worries, pacing at the edge. I imagine empty chairs and dinners gone cold, The stories they’d tell, the grief left untold. So I put the bottle down, wipe the tears from my face, Knowing the hardest battles never leave a trace. I stay for the ones I love, though the darkness calls my name.

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its health class and were talking about drug overdose I sit in this chair in silence I feel the walls caving in on me and the room is dark the only light shining on my dried teary face how am I supposed to talk about getting help? when I just overdosed a few days ago? how do I write a script about what to do? if I don't even know what to do after that? I sit here in this chair the chair feels too big for me I feel as if I'm sinking in I feel like everyone is staring at me, like they know everyone leaves the class because they finish I have a paragraph written and I cant get myself to write about the topic the topic I'm struggling with I cant look it up I cant look at symtoms I cant look for help cause the topic feels like a weight on my shoulders pressing down and down and down and down until I'm sunken far down the hole, you look at me and you smile your light blue braces your squinted eyes your long blue hair you come over to me and you hold my hand its warm and its soft and I can feel your fingertips brushing away the tears you take my laptop and start writing for me you whisper "don't worry about it okay?" she holds my hands in the silence of the classroom everyone's gone except for me and her my tears are far down my face as she wipes them one by one Its no longer health class I'm walking out the door I'm holding her soft hand and she smiles at me "hey, you don't have to think about it anymore okay?" I smile and nod the walls start to uncave I feel less shrunken now and the halls feel brighter no longer a light shining on just me but rather the both of us I turn back to the health classroom then back to her but within seconds shes gone

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Mar 20

Mar 20, 2026 at 4:29 PM UTC

its health class and were talking about drug overdose I sit in this chair in silence I feel the walls caving in on me and the room is dark the only light shining on my dried teary face how am I supposed to talk about getting help? when I just overdosed a few days ago? how do I write a script about what to do? if I don't even know what to do after that? I sit here in this chair the chair feels too big for me I feel as if I'm sinking in I feel like everyone is staring at me, like they know everyone leaves the class because they finish I have a paragraph written and I cant get myself to write about the topic the topic I'm struggling with I cant look it up I cant look at symtoms I cant look for help cause the topic feels like a weight on my shoulders pressing down and down and down and down until I'm sunken far down the hole, you look at me and you smile your light blue braces your squinted eyes your long blue hair you come over to me and you hold my hand its warm and its soft and I can feel your fingertips brushing away the tears you take my laptop and start writing for me you whisper "don't worry about it okay?" she holds my hands in the silence of the classroom everyone's gone except for me and her my tears are far down my face as she wipes them one by one Its no longer health class I'm walking out the door I'm holding her soft hand and she smiles at me "hey, you don't have to think about it anymore okay?" I smile and nod the walls start to uncave I feel less shrunken now and the halls feel brighter no longer a light shining on just me but rather the both of us I turn back to the health classroom then back to her but within seconds shes gone

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their magical their glowing their screaming "I can help you get rid of the pain" I believe them I try and reach to grab it to feel like I'm holding onto a sense of something it opens up to me I feel the pain it holds I want to hold it too I take one of you swallow another swallow it feels better your helping I know you are can you help me 18 times more if I let you in the pills on the top shelf.

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Jan 30

Jan 30, 2026 at 7:56 PM UTC

pills on the top shelf

their magical their glowing their screaming "I can help you get rid of the pain" I believe them I try and reach to grab it to feel like I'm holding onto a sense of something it opens up to me I feel the pain it holds I want to hold it too I take one of you swallow another swallow it feels better your helping I know you are can you help me 18 times more if I let you in the pills on the top shelf.

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There was a certain comfort in the time I spent Sitting against a wall outside in the cold They don’t tell you what its like to freeze to death But here’s what wishing you would is like The trees sway with another chilling breeze There’s a little stinging pain in my toes Its been about 20 minutes out here My feet are the only things cold I'm thinking Way too much about how the frost feels My hands become red a little icy itch not quite numbing my fingers Another 20 minutes go by and I can feel the cold travel I have no intention of leaving I don’t want to Maybe i’ll stay all night An hour in my feet are cold on the outsides My ankle is freezing I adjust my earbud and look up to the sky My breath can be seen in the air I think about my mother finding my body Bitten blue with winter 2 hours in and my feet are starting to ache Its an interesting feeling Almost like I’ve broken a bone but can’t quite feel it I don’t want to be here anymore Not outside, id love to stay in the icy air all night But here, in front of my so called home Filled with my so-called family I’d like to be staying somewhere else Somewhere where they aren’t Somewhere where the people who care about me Are all far far away And if I die, they know in a few days Not right away If I’m sick they’ll send a gift card And call so many times I’ll have to turn off the phone So maybe I’ll just sit here And let nature have its way with me Because I'm not ready to go back in And live in a “family”

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Apr 26, 2022

Apr 26, 2022 at 12:46 PM UTC

Cryingisnecessary

A Certain Chilling Feeling

There was a certain comfort in the time I spent Sitting against a wall outside in the cold They don’t tell you what its like to freeze to death But here’s what wishing you would is like The trees sway with another chilling breeze There’s a little stinging pain in my toes Its been about 20 minutes out here My feet are the only things cold I'm thinking Way too much about how the frost feels My hands become red a little icy itch not quite numbing my fingers Another 20 minutes go by and I can feel the cold travel I have no intention of leaving I don’t want to Maybe i’ll stay all night An hour in my feet are cold on the outsides My ankle is freezing I adjust my earbud and look up to the sky My breath can be seen in the air I think about my mother finding my body Bitten blue with winter 2 hours in and my feet are starting to ache Its an interesting feeling Almost like I’ve broken a bone but can’t quite feel it I don’t want to be here anymore Not outside, id love to stay in the icy air all night But here, in front of my so called home Filled with my so-called family I’d like to be staying somewhere else Somewhere where they aren’t Somewhere where the people who care about me Are all far far away And if I die, they know in a few days Not right away If I’m sick they’ll send a gift card And call so many times I’ll have to turn off the phone So maybe I’ll just sit here And let nature have its way with me Because I'm not ready to go back in And live in a “family”

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The day after dying, Your mortal shell will rot And be filled with sleeping pills No, sugar can not Hide the pain you feel From failing your many deaths, Immortal now and always, A hundred final breaths. The day after dying, You're nothing but a husk, An empty, rotting hell That lies awake until dusk, Just contemplating painful existence That wounds every inch of you. Words, knives, and other pains Don't feel enough in joy's lieu. The day after dying, Nothing will even change. You'll still be a hopeless wreck. You'll still be from peers estranged. You'll still be a walking corpse. You'll still never be alive. You'll always wish you'd succeeded. You'll feel useless just like I've.

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Apr 12, 2021

Apr 12, 2021 at 11:27 AM UTC

Day After Dying

The day after dying, Your mortal shell will rot And be filled with sleeping pills No, sugar can not Hide the pain you feel From failing your many deaths, Immortal now and always, A hundred final breaths. The day after dying, You're nothing but a husk, An empty, rotting hell That lies awake until dusk, Just contemplating painful existence That wounds every inch of you. Words, knives, and other pains Don't feel enough in joy's lieu. The day after dying, Nothing will even change. You'll still be a hopeless wreck. You'll still be from peers estranged. You'll still be a walking corpse. You'll still never be alive. You'll always wish you'd succeeded. You'll feel useless just like I've.

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Counting Saving Stashing. How many will work? Or! Maybe I can disassemble my Pencil Sharpener. Or better yet, Knit a long, Skinny, Scarf. Where to hang it though? Perhaps I could take a Too Hot Bath, And sit till it's cold. Maybe... Weigh myself, Until I'm satisfied That'd do it too.

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Aug 22, 2019

Aug 22, 2019 at 12:10 AM UTC

Counting Saving Stashing. How many will work? Or! Maybe I can disassemble my Pencil Sharpener. Or better yet, Knit a long, Skinny, Scarf. Where to hang it though? Perhaps I could take a Too Hot Bath, And sit till it's cold. Maybe... Weigh myself, Until I'm satisfied That'd do it too.

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Sherri can you hear me? I'm sitting in my bathroom, I've got a bunch of pills And I'm ready to meet my doom. Sherri can you hear me? I'm almost ready to die. I called you for one reason, I wanted to say goodbye. Sherri can you hear me? Please don't call nine-one-one Nothing can help anymore. It's all done; I'm done. Sherri can you hear me? One, two, three, four. Counting pills, ready for death Oh no, they're at the door. Sherri I gotta go, The ambulance is here. My wrists are sliced real bad And my death is getting near. Sherri I'm so scared. Lights and sirens are on high. They're sticking stickers on my body, My death will soon be nigh. Grace can you hear me? My heart's beating too fast. I'm seizing, once, twice, three times, This day will soon be my last. Grace, stop, stop! I'm pulling out my needle Barely aware of what's happening My body's turning feeble. Grace, why did you do it? I'm now being interrogated. Summit Ridge or Peachford? To the hospital I am fated. Mom can you hear me? It's finally visitor's day. I'm so anxious, I love you lots Please mom, will you stay? Grace did you hear me? You're going no matter what. Skyland Trail's the next step, No ifs, ands, or buts. Mom can you hear me? I miss you too much. Please. come pick me up, I really miss your touch. Friends can you hear me? You're help was invaluable. A Thank You goes to everyone My recovery is beyond admirable.

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Jun 26, 2019

Jun 26, 2019 at 8:35 AM UTC

My last few months

Sherri can you hear me? I'm sitting in my bathroom, I've got a bunch of pills And I'm ready to meet my doom. Sherri can you hear me? I'm almost ready to die. I called you for one reason, I wanted to say goodbye. Sherri can you hear me? Please don't call nine-one-one Nothing can help anymore. It's all done; I'm done. Sherri can you hear me? One, two, three, four. Counting pills, ready for death Oh no, they're at the door. Sherri I gotta go, The ambulance is here. My wrists are sliced real bad And my death is getting near. Sherri I'm so scared. Lights and sirens are on high. They're sticking stickers on my body, My death will soon be nigh. Grace can you hear me? My heart's beating too fast. I'm seizing, once, twice, three times, This day will soon be my last. Grace, stop, stop! I'm pulling out my needle Barely aware of what's happening My body's turning feeble. Grace, why did you do it? I'm now being interrogated. Summit Ridge or Peachford? To the hospital I am fated. Mom can you hear me? It's finally visitor's day. I'm so anxious, I love you lots Please mom, will you stay? Grace did you hear me? You're going no matter what. Skyland Trail's the next step, No ifs, ands, or buts. Mom can you hear me? I miss you too much. Please. come pick me up, I really miss your touch. Friends can you hear me? You're help was invaluable. A Thank You goes to everyone My recovery is beyond admirable.

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Someone out there doesn't have a mom. You say "Everyone has a mom". Well, get this. Someone's mother was born in the 70's, with bipolar disorder. Quite the disaster. This was before people knew how to address things like that, so instead it was hidden away. Someone's mother turned to drugs to make herself feel okay but it didn't really turn out that way. By the time she was 22 she had two daughters, but no source of stability. Someone's mother overdosed one (two? three?)too many times and got arrested for possession of illegal drugs. Someone's mother had to sing "You Are My Sunshine" with her hand up to glass, instead of with her hand in her daughter's. Someone forgot to give their mother one last hug goodbye. Someone's mother's last OD resulted in laying on a couch for three days. Alone. Someone's mother went into a coma. Someone was told to say goodbye to her mother, and said "She can't hear me. Why should I say goodbye if she can't hear me?" Someone was without a mother at 11 years old. Someone had a sister that stole *** from her mother. Someone grew up not really knowing what was going on. Someone out there doesn't have a mom.

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Apr 19, 2019

Apr 19, 2019 at 8:21 PM UTC

Someone's Mother

Someone out there doesn't have a mom. You say "Everyone has a mom". Well, get this. Someone's mother was born in the 70's, with bipolar disorder. Quite the disaster. This was before people knew how to address things like that, so instead it was hidden away. Someone's mother turned to drugs to make herself feel okay but it didn't really turn out that way. By the time she was 22 she had two daughters, but no source of stability. Someone's mother overdosed one (two? three?)too many times and got arrested for possession of illegal drugs. Someone's mother had to sing "You Are My Sunshine" with her hand up to glass, instead of with her hand in her daughter's. Someone forgot to give their mother one last hug goodbye. Someone's mother's last OD resulted in laying on a couch for three days. Alone. Someone's mother went into a coma. Someone was told to say goodbye to her mother, and said "She can't hear me. Why should I say goodbye if she can't hear me?" Someone was without a mother at 11 years old. Someone had a sister that stole *** from her mother. Someone grew up not really knowing what was going on. Someone out there doesn't have a mom.

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What happens when I get the bottle open? When I'm strong enough to let it go? all the hopes and dreams I once had escape and I gain the knowledge to be free What happens when I get the bottle open? I stab the villain and not the innocent finally slaying my demons it's liberating can't you see? What happens when I get the bottle open? I'll finally see the truth maybe you will too be happy for me this is no set back What happens when the bottle finally opens? and all my dreams come true I'm laying on the beach listening as the crashing waves consume me so nicely What happens when the bottle's open? and there's no going back like Pandora's box of bottles and all that's left is to sink What happens if the bottle's already open? and I can't hide it anymore I'm sorry for wasting Everything but the bottle's been opened and I can't waste this not now there is no strength to close it.

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Nov 28, 2018

Nov 28, 2018 at 10:49 PM UTC

SilhouetteOfADeadKid

The Bottle's Open

What happens when I get the bottle open? When I'm strong enough to let it go? all the hopes and dreams I once had escape and I gain the knowledge to be free What happens when I get the bottle open? I stab the villain and not the innocent finally slaying my demons it's liberating can't you see? What happens when I get the bottle open? I'll finally see the truth maybe you will too be happy for me this is no set back What happens when the bottle finally opens? and all my dreams come true I'm laying on the beach listening as the crashing waves consume me so nicely What happens when the bottle's open? and there's no going back like Pandora's box of bottles and all that's left is to sink What happens if the bottle's already open? and I can't hide it anymore I'm sorry for wasting Everything but the bottle's been opened and I can't waste this not now there is no strength to close it.

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Jaw dropped eyes dead all i want is to never wake up again

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May 25, 2018

May 25, 2018 at 9:13 PM UTC

Jaw dropped eyes dead all i want is to never wake up again

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Love the drug i wish i was immune to it No, I don't... - want to live above the influence So high... i wont need a hit.. So low.. i want to OD on it..

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Apr 18, 2018

Apr 18, 2018 at 1:32 AM UTC

Love the drug i wish i was immune to it No, I don't... - want to live above the influence So high... i wont need a hit.. So low.. i want to OD on it..

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Ke$ha is a shooting star; her light burning bright in the sepia darkness; her eyes painted by Whistler & Sargent Ke$ha is a comet streaking pink & purple across the rich midget's laps smelling like a starry gas cloud all pink & purple in garters & red petticoats; Ke$ha is nebulous so deep wellwisher maybe the one true blonde foretold; Ke$ha is a mysterious black hole

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Apr 5, 2018

Apr 5, 2018 at 5:08 AM UTC

Ke$ha is a shooting star; her light burning bright in the sepia darkness; her eyes painted by Whistler & Sargent Ke$ha is a comet streaking pink & purple across the rich midget's laps smelling like a starry gas cloud all pink & purple in garters & red petticoats; Ke$ha is nebulous so deep wellwisher maybe the one true blonde foretold; Ke$ha is a mysterious black hole

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"Maybe all we need is a touch of reason through all our dreams and pain" ~ ©outcast_dreamer

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Dec 18, 2016

Dec 18, 2016 at 11:29 AM UTC

Untitled #9 (Haiku)

"Maybe all we need is a touch of reason through all our dreams and pain" ~ ©outcast_dreamer

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"If love exists... Is there a point of true love existing ?" ~

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Dec 13, 2016

Dec 13, 2016 at 11:07 PM UTC

"If love exists... Is there a point of true love existing ?" ~

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my head hurts in a way that ******* gross aspirin cannot fix i can still taste the overdose in the back of my throat the pits of my aching stomach trying to expel its chalky white substance my head hurts i'm too traumatized by "pills" fix me, ******* magically fix me please

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Nov 30, 2016

Nov 30, 2016 at 8:25 PM UTC

THE ASPIRIN OVERDOSE.

my head hurts in a way that ******* gross aspirin cannot fix i can still taste the overdose in the back of my throat the pits of my aching stomach trying to expel its chalky white substance my head hurts i'm too traumatized by "pills" fix me, ******* magically fix me please

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"One fine morning, As usual Mary went for jog, and while returning home, she checked the letter box, Besides the usual bills, advertisements and offers There lay this ominous letter in black and crimson color... and of course, curiosity got better of her and she was ripping of the edges and on scanning the contents she gave out a shrill cry... her fingers trembling her forehead sweating... It was a suicide letter!! A letter with news of death A letter from a man who wrote this before his few last breaths... Slowly she read each word.. each one of them echoing in her head.. the letter went as follows- Dear Jane, I love you a lot, and I know you will be in shock and pain, but I couldn't handle it anymore, I found my answers in the dark, I found solace in enternal bliss, I just want you to stay strong, and fulfill my last wish, so lend me your attention, woman, Do you remember that old paino we have in the attic?, I want you to gift that to my small sister, Lily is naive and she would miss me and won't find any thing To call her own anymore, Give her this paino so that she may hold it dear to her heart, If you don't do this for me, then I am afraid my soul wouldn't rest, and in a fortnight I would be chasing you as a ghoul, you will always be my girl, Love, Peter Mary read and re-read again and again, then she finally gave a sigh of relief, and picked up her phone and went to do laundries, You see, the letter had reached the wrong destination. (what a irony)"

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Nov 2, 2016

Nov 2, 2016 at 1:57 PM UTC

"One fine morning, As usual Mary went for jog, and while returning home, she checked the letter box, Besides the usual bills, advertisements and offers There lay this ominous letter in black and crimson color... and of course, curiosity got better of her and she was ripping of the edges and on scanning the contents she gave out a shrill cry... her fingers trembling her forehead sweating... It was a suicide letter!! A letter with news of death A letter from a man who wrote this before his few last breaths... Slowly she read each word.. each one of them echoing in her head.. the letter went as follows- Dear Jane, I love you a lot, and I know you will be in shock and pain, but I couldn't handle it anymore, I found my answers in the dark, I found solace in enternal bliss, I just want you to stay strong, and fulfill my last wish, so lend me your attention, woman, Do you remember that old paino we have in the attic?, I want you to gift that to my small sister, Lily is naive and she would miss me and won't find any thing To call her own anymore, Give her this paino so that she may hold it dear to her heart, If you don't do this for me, then I am afraid my soul wouldn't rest, and in a fortnight I would be chasing you as a ghoul, you will always be my girl, Love, Peter Mary read and re-read again and again, then she finally gave a sigh of relief, and picked up her phone and went to do laundries, You see, the letter had reached the wrong destination. (what a irony)"

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all the days just fade into one another i do nothing, i see nothing, i am nothing even medication and self harm cannot bring me out of this darkness i binge and purge the demons out of me i take all the pills at once to drown out my own self hate i take them all to accompany the numbness in my heart i slip down further and further the darkness gets darker and darker i drink away the voices in my mind i drink until they go from sharp and bitter to warm and soft i drink the pain away i cry until my heart caves in i cry because there’s no other way i can suffer like i should i cry until my eyes dry out i take the pills i drink everything away i cry all night until i find the courage to end my own life.

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Aug 14, 2016

Aug 14, 2016 at 4:22 AM UTC

all the days just fade into one another i do nothing, i see nothing, i am nothing even medication and self harm cannot bring me out of this darkness i binge and purge the demons out of me i take all the pills at once to drown out my own self hate i take them all to accompany the numbness in my heart i slip down further and further the darkness gets darker and darker i drink away the voices in my mind i drink until they go from sharp and bitter to warm and soft i drink the pain away i cry until my heart caves in i cry because there’s no other way i can suffer like i should i cry until my eyes dry out i take the pills i drink everything away i cry all night until i find the courage to end my own life.

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Let me OD on the ecstacy you give me

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Jul 27, 2016

Jul 27, 2016 at 10:17 PM UTC

brilliantvitality

Let me OD on the ecstacy you give me

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What it feels like to od Your mind is screaming, fingers fumbling You poor down the pills Throat burning, but all you can think about is pooring down more ***** covers your body Everything shaking, spinning, darking You lose focus on everything but the white, red, and blue pills almost patriotic The ***** dosen't stop you try to keep it down, but it burns it way up and out Soon whole pills come up this just makes you more determined to swallow more You just want it to end, no matter the pain Hearing gunshots out your window, wishing it was you Layng there, weak, covered in your own ***** then suddenly dog barking EMTs running through the house shining a Flash light in your face, Screaming "what did you take!" blank stare, mind too foggy again "what did you take!" mind reeling, stomach lurching, vomiting screaming again "*Into the bag. ***** into to the bag, we need to analize it*" ****** into and amulance you're too young, you're too young, you're too... black out

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Feb 21, 2016

Feb 21, 2016 at 5:14 PM UTC

What it feels like to od Your mind is screaming, fingers fumbling You poor down the pills Throat burning, but all you can think about is pooring down more ***** covers your body Everything shaking, spinning, darking You lose focus on everything but the white, red, and blue pills almost patriotic The ***** dosen't stop you try to keep it down, but it burns it way up and out Soon whole pills come up this just makes you more determined to swallow more You just want it to end, no matter the pain Hearing gunshots out your window, wishing it was you Layng there, weak, covered in your own ***** then suddenly dog barking EMTs running through the house shining a Flash light in your face, Screaming "what did you take!" blank stare, mind too foggy again "what did you take!" mind reeling, stomach lurching, vomiting screaming again "*Into the bag. ***** into to the bag, we need to analize it*" ****** into and amulance you're too young, you're too young, you're too... black out

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Not even the purest of Jellies could save me now okay, maybe if they stung me or caused me to drown.. I'm fading away inside and out all I wanted was to w o r k t h i n g s o u t but now.. I just want to make the pain go away even if that means that I cannot stay- all of you are better off without me anyways I'm just a..

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Aug 28, 2015

Aug 28, 2015 at 3:43 PM UTC

Not even the purest of Jellies could save me now okay, maybe if they stung me or caused me to drown.. I'm fading away inside and out all I wanted was to w o r k t h i n g s o u t but now.. I just want to make the pain go away even if that means that I cannot stay- all of you are better off without me anyways I'm just a..

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The words come back and conversation Flows under excited pressure Just like the red rose when I register Its been a while so the better in me knows And tries to send a message to me But my psychic energy grows More intensely on a memory's Lows, I always get the best of me Tolls, Happiness isn't free I wish I could just be fine with settling Stop hoping that my two halves will quit wrestling Over who drives while the other is directing From the back seat, this is where I belong A siren is my life's theme song Hand in hand I'm dragged along To some place I'd rather not be Put on a face so they won't see Anything that's felt inside of me Learning to survive by blending in Once released, spin cycle repeats Pumping poison bought off the street A death rehearsed I'll never know When rehearsal ends, begin the show I'm drifting off into sleep... But this time it's too deep.

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Aug 13, 2015

Aug 13, 2015 at 3:12 AM UTC

A Death Rehearsed

The words come back and conversation Flows under excited pressure Just like the red rose when I register Its been a while so the better in me knows And tries to send a message to me But my psychic energy grows More intensely on a memory's Lows, I always get the best of me Tolls, Happiness isn't free I wish I could just be fine with settling Stop hoping that my two halves will quit wrestling Over who drives while the other is directing From the back seat, this is where I belong A siren is my life's theme song Hand in hand I'm dragged along To some place I'd rather not be Put on a face so they won't see Anything that's felt inside of me Learning to survive by blending in Once released, spin cycle repeats Pumping poison bought off the street A death rehearsed I'll never know When rehearsal ends, begin the show I'm drifting off into sleep... But this time it's too deep.

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False idols only lead to false hope. Got a choke chain necklace A Rosary noose around my throat. We all love, We all die. As long as I still struggle to breathe You won't see how selfish it is to keep me Crawling by. Oh how lucky the depraved are! Oh how brave the saddest were... I've tried their medicine, I made it mine. No note; Nothing to say Goodbye. Maybe my blood will thicken their tears? My only salvation is my biggest fear. So here I'll stand... But I'll go stag - staggering. I hope, not, to bother you With these thoughts that keep us both awake. I've had some Help, my reflection in her eyes And she said as best she could, "keep your friend in mind." Trying to hang on - to something - but it's lesser everyday. Brave friend...You once said "Me and you, we think alike. Share the same troubles..." Maybe I'm just jealous Cuz my struggles are now doubled.

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Jun 26, 2015

Jun 26, 2015 at 8:28 PM UTC

I'll Go Stag - Staggering.

False idols only lead to false hope. Got a choke chain necklace A Rosary noose around my throat. We all love, We all die. As long as I still struggle to breathe You won't see how selfish it is to keep me Crawling by. Oh how lucky the depraved are! Oh how brave the saddest were... I've tried their medicine, I made it mine. No note; Nothing to say Goodbye. Maybe my blood will thicken their tears? My only salvation is my biggest fear. So here I'll stand... But I'll go stag - staggering. I hope, not, to bother you With these thoughts that keep us both awake. I've had some Help, my reflection in her eyes And she said as best she could, "keep your friend in mind." Trying to hang on - to something - but it's lesser everyday. Brave friend...You once said "Me and you, we think alike. Share the same troubles..." Maybe I'm just jealous Cuz my struggles are now doubled.

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She takes the pills As if they will relieve This deep ache that pervades her whole being. Inside she wills Herself just to believe That she's not feeling what she is seeing. Inside it plays On a screen in her head As if on a loop, over and over. Nothing betrays How she's feeling so dead And the lengths to which wretchedness drove her.

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Jun 23, 2015

Jun 23, 2015 at 12:54 PM UTC

She takes the pills As if they will relieve This deep ache that pervades her whole being. Inside she wills Herself just to believe That she's not feeling what she is seeing. Inside it plays On a screen in her head As if on a loop, over and over. Nothing betrays How she's feeling so dead And the lengths to which wretchedness drove her.

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I am getting frustrated at the sight of all these sick people running around and blowing their nose with nothing but the air these women behind the desk they don’t really seem to care they just nod their head - forget to take the insurance card they tell you to sit patiently well how am I supposed to wait behind these people without giving a **** if I’m late or if I’ll be on time that’s all I can really think when I stare at this sick girl I do care you see but I work for a company one that is a corporation and I truly feel disposable like the generic paper towels that won’t absorb anything I’m just one of many - not making the company anymore money while I sit and wait behind all these sick people when all I need is five minutes of your time to stick a needle in my arm to tell me that I’m not overdosing.

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May 21, 2015

May 21, 2015 at 10:52 PM UTC

colleenharrington

the perks of being ill

I am getting frustrated at the sight of all these sick people running around and blowing their nose with nothing but the air these women behind the desk they don’t really seem to care they just nod their head - forget to take the insurance card they tell you to sit patiently well how am I supposed to wait behind these people without giving a **** if I’m late or if I’ll be on time that’s all I can really think when I stare at this sick girl I do care you see but I work for a company one that is a corporation and I truly feel disposable like the generic paper towels that won’t absorb anything I’m just one of many - not making the company anymore money while I sit and wait behind all these sick people when all I need is five minutes of your time to stick a needle in my arm to tell me that I’m not overdosing.

Continue reading...