#nypc
I have so much self hate
But I am so vulnerable But
I just When I cry I just
Can't But I cry too much Can't
Seem So I think Seem
To That I may just To
Evict Give up Evict
It all One day It all
Maybe it will consume all of me.
Jan 15, 2016
Jan 15, 2016 at 10:15 AM UTC
Bread and butter
Bones and blood
Air and water
Life.
Jan 11, 2016
Jan 11, 2016 at 11:18 PM UTC
Last Monday
Today I cut
And out of that cut,
A beautiful dragon arose
And from that dragon's mouth,
A single word dripped out
Hope
A new hope filled my veins
And it made me set down the blade
I gently washed off the dragon,
His words still echoing in my mind
And I let that hope flourish
Let hope spread,
Like a butterfly's wings
Jan 10, 2016
Jan 10, 2016 at 9:00 PM UTC
Rhyming in a scheme
You should totally try it
It is not as easy as it may seem
Like finding a shoe that fits
Rhyming cannot be implied
It cannot be faked
It must be applied
It is like a good steak
A rhyme a day
Or is it an apple?
Will keep the lame away
But do not grapple
For it is rhyme time
Time to rhyme
Jan 10, 2016
Jan 10, 2016 at 8:29 PM UTC
We are the "minority"
We are the "weird ones"
We are the "crazy people"
We are the "Oh, they should be locked up!"
We are the "Honey, let's go somewhere else. SHE is here."
We are the light
in an otherwise dark world
We are the color
in an otherwise grey world
We are the art
in an otherwise lame world
We are the curves
in an otherwise straight world
We are the poets of the world
Jan 10, 2016
Jan 10, 2016 at 7:53 PM UTC
You're creeping up on me,
Sneaking up on me.
Trying to scare me,
to scar me.
Hand me those blades,
Take my food
And throw it away.
But you can't fool me.
Nor can you trick me.
You won't win,
No, depression,
You won't win.
Not this time.
Not this time.
Jan 10, 2016
Jan 10, 2016 at 7:40 PM UTC
I was just a child,
but that seemed to be enough
We sat in the front of your car
As you drove us to Hell
Oblivious to all the **** to come
Jan 10, 2016
Jan 10, 2016 at 7:28 PM UTC
Your love
Was special
And so perfect
But I guess
Special
And perfect
Weren't enough
Jan 10, 2016
Jan 10, 2016 at 2:18 PM UTC
You seemed so amazing
But I only got a taste
I am sorry for ever trying
I am sorry for ever pushing
You felt so amazing
With all your numbing qualities
You were always there to save me
You were always there to hold me
But now I see you were setting me up for failure
But that is okay now
I know I shouldn't, but I forgive you
I know I shouldn't, but I still love you
Jan 10, 2016
Jan 10, 2016 at 2:15 PM UTC
It was just another day
We were going to worship and pray.
We didn't know that we were prey.
In God's own house-
Sacred house-
We were just nine.
Nine people.
Nine families.
Nine Deaths.
Shot and killed like fish in a pond,
Not a single chance to escape.
Jan 5, 2016
Jan 5, 2016 at 9:05 PM UTC
Top ten reasons I don't like spiders and you shouldn't like them either
10) They are eight legged legos on the floor
9) They crawl around like spider plants
8) They make the walls have eyes
7) Spiders are EVERYWHERE
6) There are 34,000 DISCOVERED species
5) They are small- they can get anywhere
4) They can sneak up on you
3) Some of them jump!!
2) Spiders are lethal!
1) Spiders Plot Ingenious ********** Extravaganzas Rudely
Top reason to enjoy killing spiders
1) If I hurt one I wouldn't have to make amends
Jan 5, 2016
Jan 5, 2016 at 8:50 PM UTC
The fringe of my pillow
Makes me cringe quite oddly
As it reminds me of our night out
I singed my hair
Only to binge on Netflix
In the dark with you
I unhinged when you left
Because you left for Vinje...without me!
Jan 4, 2016
Jan 4, 2016 at 11:55 PM UTC
You told me I was free,
Yet, when I ran,
You put me in a cage.
Jan 4, 2016
Jan 4, 2016 at 11:40 PM UTC
We had fun,
Throwing rocks at every beach we stopped at.
Kids yelling,
throwing sand.
Little baby boys screaming,
Face-planting the sand...
Beach to beach
Pebbles and stones
Into the water
Until there was one,
With rocks not for throwing,
But for stacking.
Not destroying,
But building.
Jan 4, 2016
Jan 4, 2016 at 11:32 PM UTC
Dear Father,
You were so great to me...
You fed me, clothed me and loved me.
You took me on bike rides and walks.
We chased the ice cream truck,
Just to get my favorite spongebob treat.
We were a team.
You chased my demons away,
only to become them.
Now we are screaming at each other,
Kicking and hitting.
You choked me,
and I couldn't breathe.
I accused you of it,
You denied it.
We don't ever talk,
and it kills me.
Can't we just swallow our pride?
Buy some band aids
And patch up our broken hearts?
I love you,
I miss you.
Sincerely,
Your Heart Broken Daughter That Needs Her Dad
Jan 4, 2016
Jan 4, 2016 at 10:33 PM UTC
You made me this
This bird with broken wings
You took away my voice
And my ability to sing
Jan 4, 2016
Jan 4, 2016 at 10:05 PM UTC
Borders
Segregation and isolation
Exclusion and division
Those who are different
Are thrown in a category
Do you have money?
Come over here.
Do you do drugs?
Go over there.
Dec 29, 2015
Dec 29, 2015 at 4:01 PM UTC
I think I love him
But he won't love you
He makes me so giddy
He has to hate you
But he says he loves me
He is lying
No, he can't be
Oh, but he is
Everything is so passionate though
To YOU it is
To HIM is is. He said so.
He thinks you are ugly
I know I am ugly
He thinks you are fat
No! He wants me to eat more
Because he needs a reason to leave.
But he hates it when I starve
*"You are a fat ***** Bye"*
He would never call me a *****
How do you know?
Because we talk!
About serious things?
No...
See what I am saying?
Yeah, but--
No buts. He hates you.
Dec 20, 2015
Dec 20, 2015 at 4:24 PM UTC
Play ball!
It is in your court
will you aim for me
or try to trick me?
My heart is in your hands
and you need to decide what to do with it.
Dec 20, 2015
Dec 20, 2015 at 4:05 PM UTC
How to be a great tweaker
1) Go get some drugs
2) Don't take them yet
3) Go get some tweaker friends
4) Go get some snacks and take a shower
5) Put on clean clothes
6) Go to a tweaker friend
7) Give them the drugs
8) Walk over to a light post
9) Give it one dollar
10) Go eat that food
THE END.
Dec 20, 2015
Dec 20, 2015 at 4:00 PM UTC
On my way
to recovery
I hit bumps
I crossed chasms
I defeated my monsters
as they defeated me
I took two steps forward
and three steps back
but recovery isn't always positive.
I have spent my fair share
of crying
of drinking
of hating
Hating me
Hating my family
Hating my decisions
but I can see the finish line
There is just one more leap
but it is my biggest.
Apologizing and forgiving
I hope that one day
soon
I can do just that.
But until then,
I will take a water break.
Dec 20, 2015
Dec 20, 2015 at 3:54 PM UTC
Macaroni and cheese,
It will never cook for me,
It is a pimple on the face of humanity
The water is too watery,
The fire is too firey
The cheese is never too cheesy
Macaroni is the goal that I can never reach
It is the bird that will not screech
I think I want some peach.
Peach cobbler
Always such a blunder…
Are you overcooked-- or under?
Dec 16, 2015
Dec 16, 2015 at 10:44 PM UTC
Kiss me,
love me,
Don't leave me.
Hold me tight,
Be my light,
Cuz you're so bright!
Dec 16, 2015
Dec 16, 2015 at 10:33 PM UTC
The full moon haunts me,
it only reminds me of those nights:
The nights that I would sit by my bed,
doors locked and window drapes open.
I would hold the box cutter in one hand and the codeine in the other.
The tears would roll down my face.
The screaming downstairs never stopping.
Wait.
It stopped.
Now there is sobbing and there are sirens.
But the sirens aren't for me,
they belong to the poor woman downstairs.
She obviously didn't see the icicles outside,
with their cold warnings.
Or the man on his porch,
preaching the devil to all that entered my house.
Silly girl,
the man on the moon isn't as kind as he seems.
He loves to come out for death, and death only.
Dec 16, 2015
Dec 16, 2015 at 10:26 PM UTC
My life,
My future,
My world.
What does my future hold?
He will be there,
holding my hand
as we walk to the park.
He will be there,
meeting my mom and step-dad
for the first time.
He will be there,
cradling me
as I cry about the loss of my dad.
He will stand,
at that isle
thinking about how beautiful I am.
He will stand,
right by my bed
feeding me chicken noodle soup.
He will stand,
at the desk
and fill out paperwork to adopt our first child.
He will hold my hand,
love me as I love him,
and he WILL
be my future.
Dec 13, 2015
Dec 13, 2015 at 3:59 PM UTC