#npmfuture
From the bottom of the stage
lies the little oldest dream, she
with a magnificent imaginary
friends as roles of this endless play
The old self she made, the actress
without the lines, the madness and blind
eyes reading the parts they once gave
Still growing in this infinite child's play
wondering if the wounds in backstage could
ever be noticed or healed as they scream
Faith remains in: a present of silence, hidden
without disguises, vanishing rapidly away,
in the future they may written another suicidal
coward, vanishing in the hour of another dreadful May
All along those years of secret pain in flowers still
surrounded by fake plastic horrors in secret views, self indulgence among old pills vanishing in this mad's towers
The future seems unclear, in the back of her fears still remains the running, but it is living while rambling with no roots to clear? To a newer self is wished nothing but courage, a belong fortress where no hollow lurks near.
Oct 8, 2019
Oct 8, 2019 at 2:44 PM UTC
Well firstly let me congratulate you on getting this far...
For as long as i remember i never thought i would get where you are.
I am......
I will be......
That's unless this note is laying next to your corpse.
My dead corpse.......in a coffin maby?
Of course.
Well...i knew you would be there...
I for-saw.
I have a seeing eye.
I knew you'd already be gone.
-But just incase I'm wrong....remember
your Morals & Hope is what has and will keep you strong-
#npmfuture.
Jul 30, 2019
Jul 30, 2019 at 6:32 AM UTC
When everything seems that dark
And nobody's there
I promise I will stick up for you
Before this sky hits Dawn.
I hope I'm still alive
When the world's about to end
So I can have my last hug
Before we split up again.
Just know
I still love you
Either alive or dead.
Just know
I'm going to be there
Either day or night.
I just need you to do something
You'll never forget
Put my name on the sticky note
And put it on your head.
Until I'm gone.
Apr 22, 2019
Apr 22, 2019 at 12:13 AM UTC
I Don't live in pain
this pain takes refuge in me
it wants to live too
so i let it stay..
Nov 26, 2018
Nov 26, 2018 at 3:55 AM UTC
*Where are all when I need them?
Don't worry dear, you won't find them
rather you are on your own
get that straight as early as possible.
And
trust yourself that you will figure all out
until its end!*
Apr 26, 2017
Apr 26, 2017 at 7:44 AM UTC
The future me, my love
Depends on how you treat me now
But then I realized, the future me
Depends on how I allow you to treat me
Going deeper, I realize
The future me, depends on me
Not you, not they
Only me, my choices and ME
Apr 26, 2017
Apr 26, 2017 at 10:50 AM UTC
*To you
who are afraid of heights
Not because you're afraid to fall
But because you're afraid
you will not know how to get down
Because sometimes you need to
when you've been way way up
You can keep chasing the stars
But you will need to feel the ground
Don't lose someone who makes you feel so.*
Apr 26, 2017
Apr 26, 2017 at 10:27 AM UTC
Little girl with the big white dog
Grew up, flew away
Now drifting, unstatic
Maybe time to settle down
Don't forget to plant roots and grow stronger
Apr 26, 2017
Apr 26, 2017 at 7:09 AM UTC
I wrote letters
for myself
five years from now
telling him
that it's okay
to cry
once in a while
that tears
are not a sign
of weakness
but an emotion
taking shape
freeing itself
from the binds of body.
I comfort him
with lies
telling him
that if he waits
eventually
everything will
turn out
fine,
that the fire
won't burn as much
if left untouched
I tell him
that broken guitars
can sing too.
Out of tune
maybe
but the melody
is there
howling
on the moon
and the shadows
are its audience.
I convince him
to tuck himself on bed
every night
and sleep
to count the sheep
and drift away
without the help
of tears.
I tell him
that I hope
five years from now
that he reads
these letters,
that i pray
it won't be left
unread
collecting dust
in the corner
of an empty room
deprived of joy
and life.
Apr 19, 2017
Apr 19, 2017 at 10:13 AM UTC
*Sometimes
I just don't understand
Whether is there any meaning in my living ...
Or
Am I just passing my days in this place ,
only as a tourist ...
And if so,
Is the journey ever going to take me to an interesting destination ....
Then,
As the journey proceeds
and takes me to so many interesting locations
It has dawned upon me
That,
The journey in itself is so full of thrill and experience ...
Now,
Reaching the destination has just become a passing thought !!*
Apr 26, 2017
Apr 26, 2017 at 4:44 AM UTC
Future Me...
I see you happy
I see you healthy
I see you striving
I see you smiling
There is
Less pain in your eyes
Less anguish in your cries
No longer are you afraid to always say what's on your mind
no longer do you need perfection for validation
you know your value to its full extent
Future me,
I see you free
Free of worry, stress, anxiety
Future me, you are a Phoenix, risen from the ashes, new and refreshed
Apr 25, 2017
Apr 25, 2017 at 11:45 PM UTC
do your eyes still shine
like two stars in the sky?
do they still close
every time you smile?
what song is your soul singing?
what blooms grow in your garden?
are you found?
or are you still lost?
if you are, know
i'll always wait for you.
Apr 25, 2017
Apr 25, 2017 at 8:57 PM UTC
I will keep chasing,
Be better and grow wiser;
40-year old me
Apr 25, 2017
Apr 25, 2017 at 8:44 PM UTC
if you're reading this, we must have made it after all.
Apr 25, 2017
Apr 25, 2017 at 6:45 PM UTC
With each falling key
the problems become more yours
and you become more me.
I paid the debts of the past
with interest,
but those of now
Are yours somehow...
(I'm sorry to hand you this mess btw).
So your whole inheritence
will have to be experience
And it's not going to be perfect
And you're going to wish I could read
the rant of a manifesto you write to me.
But that won't happen.
I'll be history
Because with each falling key
the problem becomes more yours
and you become more me
I presently lose agency
that's the reality
Of time.
I fixed all I could with mine.
Do what you can with yours.
Apr 25, 2017
Apr 25, 2017 at 6:05 PM UTC
I know you will be alive and in love
like a child for the first time.
You will chase and daydream
and trace their name on fogged over windows
and even though you're older,
you'll be none the wiser
and just as dazed and clueless
as I am now.
Apr 25, 2017
Apr 25, 2017 at 4:57 PM UTC
Dear future me,
please do not be scared...
of the burning sting of betrayal
and the sensation of hurt
like flames dancing on your skin.
You will learn to love again...
...
...
Eventually.
...
...
I hope.
Because the next time
those ******** stop by your seat
don't be scared to say
'FUCK YOU'
and walk the hell away.
you can cuss. i give you permission.
And the next time,
some ***** hates you because of those
love handles
don't be scared to give
her a good show of your middle finger.
don't worry about her. she's blinded by your beauty anyway.
Dear Future Me,
please do forgive me.
for the bad choices I made.
Dure Future Me,
please
please
please
don't make the same mistakes.
Apr 25, 2017
Apr 25, 2017 at 4:45 PM UTC
did you ever get enough
courage to squeeze
your ***** if that
pain was cancer
it still will be
you left that girl
five days ago
do you still leave your
hate in your heart
did the dream **** you
do I write for the dead
the only words I remember
my father said
don't ever hang your head
if only he'd said something
about the rest of me
and my neck
did you get drunk, yet
Apr 25, 2017
Apr 25, 2017 at 2:50 PM UTC
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Cc: [email protected]
Subject: Questions
Dear You,
You surely know
That you are not
Unique...
Do you?
You always act
As if you were
Alone...
Are you?
How many times
You thought you’re right,
And weren’t?
You learned?
Why do you think
That time will change
You while
You don’t?
How many years
You think you've got?
Much left?
Then why you act
As if life will
Go on,
Forever?
Best,
Me.
Apr 25, 2017
Apr 25, 2017 at 2:32 PM UTC
Hey, you...me
Stop paying heed
To that cacophony
Of tainted intention
And misinformed opinion
Listen to that voice
It speaks softly
But tells you everything loud and clear
The voice that you think comes from within
That is me
On the outside, looking in on you
Trying desperately, to reach you
From another dimension
As you live
The life
I already have
In the past
Apr 25, 2017
Apr 25, 2017 at 2:08 PM UTC
When I wrote you this, I was in a really bad place
do you remember?
My faith is practically dead right now, future me
do you remember?
You're missing the woman you love that you lost
do you remember?
She's that sparkle of gold stuck in your soul
do you remember?
Or how strained things are between Kayla and you
do you remember?
Remember that night you wanted to end it all?
do you remember?
Have you come to terms with your friend's suicide, yet?
do you remember?
You're going to be a warrior someday... I have to endure
do you remember?
Has anyone wanted your love, your passion?
do you remember?
I hope you're married by the time I read this again...
do you remember?
Maybe you'll still be where I am now, stuck in love
do you remember?
Just know it was worth it, loving her. Even though she's lost...
do you remember?
Apr 25, 2017
Apr 25, 2017 at 2:05 PM UTC
What lost is something we never had
Maybe you have nothing now
but we don't owe anything
*Follow the steps
Crave what of others
Break your dreams
Make place for yourself
Write forgotten history
But the things you have ,
they were never yours.
*
Apr 25, 2017
Apr 25, 2017 at 12:14 PM UTC