#nothingnew
after all the arguments, tears, & yells
you'd look in my eyes and i would cast a spell
i'll always be yours, can’t you tell
when girls start to like you, i wish them well
cause it won’t ever be the same
if you date her, you’ll still slip out my name
it'll drive you insane
and you won’t be able to explain.
thats what happens when you spend time with me
you get so much energy
that i'll be engraved not only in your memories
so if your with me, you’ll always will be.
you said thinking of me is the worst
it kills you, you feel cursed
into your thoughts someone else might submerse
but im still the only one you thirst
because I am not a one night thing
I am not a hotel that you can come in then leave
I am your most comfortable home
I am the unknown island you want to get to know
when you come in, you won’t just leave without taking something with you
sometimes, you just never leave
you stay, forever
Nov 29, 2018
Nov 29, 2018 at 4:08 PM UTC
You came to me with powdered knuckles,
you knew it was my poison.
You were raised on horse
so we thought,
'This won't be a problem.'
It feels like the sound
Of a million angels singing.
Doubts explode in the brain,
but the high makes you ignore them.
I knew I had to be stronger
than the last time that I slipped.
I handled my ****
finished the manuscript,
but you just kept exceeding.
I always knew compassion
would one day be my downfall.
You filled your nose,
hid new hoes
And I just kept abiding.
Losses began to trickle in.
You saw you weren't so hard.
To be honest
From what I've witnessed
None of the gangsters are.
I caught you in a tryst
while lies bled from you lips.
Panic attacks and shiny blades
returned to being my usual ways.
I warned you from the start,
but bulls rarely listen.
The lines crossed you
and you felt used.
Shameful, you grew twisted.
Torn and mangled,
Depleted and abused-
Here's to forsaken me
and my nameless muse.
Sep 2, 2017
Sep 2, 2017 at 8:29 AM UTC
Same problem, different guy. I don't know why I'm so insecure, because I'm not. I love me, I'll own up to my faults but I'm pretty great. I just don't know what anyone sees in me. Even if he likes me now that could all change in a matter of seconds. It has before, don't see a difference now. But say it didn't change. Say we got together and it lasted. I'm still going away to college, and then start my career soon after. Point is everything has an end. I don't want to waste my time.
Aug 31, 2015
Aug 31, 2015 at 1:44 AM UTC
There's this look people give you
You're trying to see it for yourself
Fighting in between people
Squeezing in, trying to get a peek
Only to end up with the same thing I've been seeing for 2 years:
Disappointment
It's the look on the faces of people who believed in you
Who told you you could do it
It's that look of pity, sadness
As if you've lost everything
again
It just adds to the agony of it all
Confirming the nightmare before my eyes
It's the worst ******* look people can give you
It's the same words over and over again
"It's okay" "you're better than that" "there's always next time"
It's not okay **** it
This is the next time
It was like
Trying to build a sandcastle
You put everything you've got
Your blood, sweat, tears, money and time
You try to keep the sandcastle up
And even if the tide begins to rise to the foot of your castle
You still continue to build it
And in the end
It would just be destroyed by a single wave
Tell me that it's okay
That i put the best parts of myself out there
And i spent every waking moment trying to get everything right
And I worked so **** hard for it
Only to end up in a puddle of my own tears, self pity and despair
Feb 21, 2015
Feb 21, 2015 at 6:29 AM UTC