#newme
I feel
I feel it again,
this urge to sing.
Like something in me is waking up,
something I thought I lost.
I used to sing all the time.
It wasn’t just a habit, it was a dream.
I really believed I could become a musician.
But somewhere along the way, I changed.
Or maybe… I just stopped listening to that part of me.
Now I’m wondering,
can I still sing?
Or did I leave that version of myself behind?
Apr 2
Apr 2, 2026 at 4:58 PM UTC
To the Boy I Loved
It has been three years, maybe more, since I last saw your face.
Yet I still miss the feeling of noticing you notice me.
The way you smiled at my smallest gestures, like they mattered.
Some nights, before I sleep, I trace your face on my pillow.
Not because I still expect you to be there, but because I remember how we never said much to each other. We just sat for each other every Sunday in church, letting silence do the talking.
I remember how you would save holy communion for me when I was late.
How you would look around, quietly asking people if they had seen me whenever I wasn’t in your sight.
It’s strange how that phase of our lives has ended.
What scares me most is the thought that our paths may never cross again.
Still, I’m grateful.
You let me taste love, just enough to know how it feels.
And since you left, I haven’t moved past that phase. I haven’t found love again.
But this year, something in me has changed.
I’ve started going out. Talking to other people. Trying.
And sometimes I wonder where you are, what you’re doing, or if you ever think of me too.
Sometimes I imagine that one day, just one day, you’ll call.
That you’ll tell me you missed me.
That you’ll say you’re sorry for leaving me stranded in silence.
But even if that day never comes, I need you to know this:
You were one of the best things that ever happened to me.
I wish you well.
And I’m writing this not because I still want you,
but because I’m finally ready to let you go.
Mar 31
Mar 31, 2026 at 10:11 AM UTC
The new year came with gold and silver
Every sparkling snowflake to make me shiver
But soon the glitter will fade away
And the fireworks explode with cries of cheer
But in a few days, I'll no longer be back here
The glitter has smudged and faded away
With the old year gone, the new year lies ahead
And I'm sure that it'll all be fine
Because with January's new gold and silver shades
I'll still continue to shine
Even after the glitter fades
Feb 11
Feb 11, 2026 at 9:18 PM UTC
they say fake it until you make it
I faked being happy and alright
have I made it yet
sometimes the answer is yes
and sometimes it's a no
content to sad
to content
a small rollercoaster
or emotions
way more manageable
than how it used to be
it was euphoria to despair
to terror to content
then do it all again
it was mania now its productivity
the change is drastic
but a welcome one at that
Mar 19, 2025
Mar 19, 2025 at 8:10 AM UTC
Excuse me, mister, can you tell me where I am got lost somewhere between my dreams and reality. I've been gone for way too long. Trying to chase a shadow of a man who made me take a wrong turn, I lost myself in the smoke coming from that bowl he had been passing around. I tried to save myself, but both my feet collapsed, and now the devil is holding me down. I can't get up. Made one too many mistakes guess I have to lie in the bed I made.
Excuse me, ma'am, can you help me? I've been looking all over this town for a girl, have you seen her? She looks like me, only happier. I fell in love with a wannabe gangsta who took me on a high-speed chase, then he left me stranded. Swapped me out with a girl who only wants him for the smoke I got lost in.
Now it's time to find my way back to where I belong. But I still have my vices that I'm fighting there's no point in hiding it. Why can't I have it just for a little while? I need just enough time to get back on my feet. Then I'll leave it in the dust where it belongs.
I'm going to show everyone what I'm made of. I'm stronger than before; no more lies they tell everyone. They're just mad that I got out alive and left them in the past. I'm not looking back. I've lived, and I've loved there were even lessons learned. Going to start putting myself first. Not going to be making any more wrong turns, so I'll catch you later. I hope you'll get what you deserve.
Never gave up, never lost hope. I finally found where I belong. I got back home. I fought for my life, barely hanging on, but I won. I survived this war within my soul, finally free of all the hurtful memories. I'm back to being me.
Dec 25, 2024
Dec 25, 2024 at 1:06 PM UTC
I went home today, straight after work
Because your curtains were closed
And although I didn't struggle with the quirk
Of thinking "But maybe..." (not really), hosed
Down with sobriety, I wondered at the darkness,
The loneliness, the determination (nose to grindstone,
Nose to grindstone), and with less than sharpness
I went home, nearly straight after work, and left you alone
And I left memories of another girl somewhere -
Possibly in your curtains - but you wouldn't care
To know that I no longer think, "I couldn't look him in the face" -
I now ask if I will be able to look at myself, in no one's place.
Jan 13, 2024
Jan 13, 2024 at 1:48 PM UTC
You left a stain
A stain so dark
On my soul
It turned to a mark
And I thought I'd never get it out
I moped and I mourned
I really tried so hard
But I couldn't get you out.
I thought this was it
And I let it alone
Until I realized
I could come up with the perfect remedy.
I love the folks art and their mysteries
So I came up with the perfect solution
To remove you from me:
I'm brighter than before
Almost like we never warred
You no longer affect me.
Dec 29, 2020
Dec 29, 2020 at 4:26 PM UTC
and one sunny day
i ll just dissapear
but leave all my diaries
behind
so all of you
will know why.
Apr 16, 2020
Apr 16, 2020 at 3:46 PM UTC
All those times I’ve tried
Thinking that I’ve tried to hard or too little
To please the people in my life I consider important
There is a thin line for what is too wrong or too right for the soul
That invisible veil blended into the atmosphere
I’ve done it multiple times
Felt as if I’ve given my all and still fell short to everyone else
They couldn’t read my mind though
They didn’t know what they were putting me through
Only I knew what was inside
A black canvas with words scratched into it
Self doubt
Insecurities
And pain
They made me feel like a failure
And since I’ve failed...what next?
What do I do now?
Anger
It was all I felt
Not towards anyone but towards myself
How stupid could I be to go through so much and follow the same path again
Why did I still care about the opinion of people
My tears were proof of self torture
A gloomy cloud frequently hanged over my head
It showered me in black thoughts
Soaked me in dangerous emotions
They weighed me down with what if questions
I knew I would be fine though
To end all of the turmoil I thought of a temporary fix
One solution
It was that little white bottle filled with little white pills
I found great relief in the form of deep self medicated sleep
But I promise you now I’m doing much better
I do consider what people think
But I don’t allow those opinions to rule me
I am my own person
And I may fall short sometimes but nobody is perfect
And I’m perfectly fine with that
Because in the end nobody’s got me like I got me
Feb 6, 2020
Feb 6, 2020 at 6:12 AM UTC
I see people
through
a one way mirror.
Transparent to me,
dark to them.
I see myself
through
a piece of frosted glass.
Jun 18, 2019
Jun 18, 2019 at 4:28 PM UTC
I am starting afresh, starting new,
not with the many, only with a few.
I left behind what did not grow,
held the door open, asked them to go.
For this year, my head is very clear,
who doesn't uplift you, really ain't your dear.
For this year, my heart is very aligned,
who is not kind, really ain't worth your time.
-Paras Bajaj #PoetrybyParas
Instagram : @mr.parasbajaj
Jan 1, 2019
Jan 1, 2019 at 12:09 PM UTC
Standing here idle as the rain washes my plans away
Who can relate?
Now the cold winds are getting chilly
I'm slowly slipping into a regretful place.
I thought I could escape unscathed
but no, this is my fate.
I thought I could move my pieces late
Oh, what a dangerous game.
Procrastinating my actions
only to get caught in a vicious state.
The painful path was that I saw it coming a mile away
Yet I held to my resolve not to emulate.
As a result, I'm paying the prize in currency I had hoped not to pay.
Standing here now as I tell myself
don't procrastinate.
Oct 8, 2018
Oct 8, 2018 at 10:29 PM UTC
how can i have peace of mind,
when i can’t help but feel like there are
missing pieces of my mind?
i gasp for air and realize I’m no longer whole, feeling the winds of regret
through and through.
my lungs feel as weak as the
late November leaves
that are left behind
during the changing of seasons.
i am reminded of the times i gave
the worst people
the best parts of me.
words they didn’t deserve to hear,
skin they didn’t deserve to touch.
i can’t turn back into my old self,
but in its absence,
i felt presence.
recognizing that
i was once just a flame,
but now i want nothing less
than to be a forest fire.
Sep 8, 2018
Sep 8, 2018 at 3:58 PM UTC
Unseen, unheard, invisible.
Sad, alone, miserable.
Too late I have realised - these are just words.
It is time I break my bounds,
step into shoes that fit,
Thank you to those my world who have lit.
No more scared or scarred,
ready for a new dawn, my positivity unbarred.
Jul 10, 2018
Jul 10, 2018 at 12:48 PM UTC
I held scissors between my hands yesterday's night,
I cut a heart out of cardboard,
gave it a shower,
tucked it to bed,
sang to it a couple beats
and buried it in my chest.
Jul 4, 2018
Jul 4, 2018 at 2:24 AM UTC
Life did hit us hard
Life did left us scarred
Life took us this far
Life, give us the power to bear
When you make us the best
Out of what we are
In this brand new year
#HappyNepaleseNewYear2075
May 6, 2018
May 6, 2018 at 10:33 AM UTC
it's like Opposite Day
The day when today It-is-not, but
Now the sun is shining and the clouds depart to show that it's smiling
it's like Tomorrowland
the land of the accomplished
where everything I said I'd do is finished and on time and I have no worries of the clock on my mind
it's like the neighbor’s yard
where the Joneses stay
with their better grass and HD TVs
—but it's Sunday night here in the present where I lay on the yoga mat on the cement floor
and try to think of the day I'm the Joneses and someone looks into my backyard
Apr 24, 2018
Apr 24, 2018 at 12:55 PM UTC
In 2017, I wanted to die.
I wanted to know what it felt like to lose my breath, and never gain it back.
I wanted to know what it felt like to drift into an infinite sleep.
In 2017, I wanted to die.
I didn't eat or drink water in hopes of withering away.
I didn't sleep in hopes of crashing my car on the interstate.
In 2017, I wanted to die.
I cried until my body could no longer produce tears.
I cried until my head hurt.
In 2018, I want to live.
I feel the sunshine peeking from behind the clouds.
I feel like it's finally my time to know what happiness feels like.
Jan 3, 2018
Jan 3, 2018 at 8:02 PM UTC
2017 was
one of the hardest
years of my life
I started
cutting again
I tried to
**** myself
my depression hit
an all-time low
I was at
rock bottom
and I promised myself
2018 would be
different
it won’t turn out
the same
but three days in
and it’s already
looking the same
if not worse
Jan 3, 2018
Jan 3, 2018 at 2:06 PM UTC
A couple hours from now, as we are toasting a farewell to a neoteric past, a new year will emerge from the ashes of 2017. Like a phoenix, it will rise again, and sing sweet songs of new beginnings and manifest hope for a better year. We wait for this day in anticipation praying the months to follow will be anything but a repetition of a life once lived. We convince ourselves that we will be more productive, that we will be more active, and that THIS is the year that will change our lives. So we set New Years resolutions, we mark our calendars with exciting new adventures, we establish new goals and reimagine our old dreams hoping that in this new year, we can accomplish them all. But, for many eager and willing people, months will go by without any true transformation. And as the year draws closer to its end, they are again transfixed by old habits and excuses. Their excitement and determination will have faded into the mundanity of reality setting them back to where they were before. For a new year can’t be the driving force for change. A new year shouldn’t be the starting point for innovation. Because refinement shouldn’t be pushed to a certain date and time. And if someone really wants to revolutionize their life, why wait?
Dec 31, 2017
Dec 31, 2017 at 7:42 PM UTC
Too long,
Too long I point my vision
In awe towards the inexistent flaw
Embedded within the lustrous cracks of your smile
Splitting through the melancholy-infused,
My timeless sunless sky
I tremble,
More than just a sugar rush,
A heaven-sent electric current;
Starts the heart-shaped engine,
Rips through its tendons,
Accelerates, opposing the infirm currents ,
Of the impaired circuit,
Sensitizes it to a form of "life".
The thunder then pounds within the hollow,
Slowly devastates the shallow.
Bruises branch down my neck,
The bolts sink down to my deck,
Engraving everlasting fractal marks ,
Of fractions of whiles,
When I was stone-blind ,
Consumed by the euphoric rush,
Of your broken white lights,
Shocked into submission,
Getting used,
Falling for abuse.
Lightning was your name,
The thunder was your doomed game.
Maybe one end only surges in mortal power,
But the other has fallen, devoured.
Blind, but now I see coherently,
Rewired differently.
My fingertips still trace down the marks,
Till they have memorized their very whereabouts,
But now I embark,
On the journey of focus on my ever-present,
And your ever-absence.
Tainted with specks of your broken light,
My sky then gives birth to ravishing stars,
That decorate the gloomiest of inky skies.
Sometimes the stars fall,
To witness me wishing him away,
Closely hear me say,
The last of my goodbyes;
So long for now,
So long for then.
Oct 14, 2017
Oct 14, 2017 at 3:45 PM UTC
I'm finally me.
Im the me that lets the suns ray hit me on a Sunday.
Im the me that takes walks to clear my mind.
Im the me that doesn't need you
I'm the me that didn't have to choose,
between letting you lie and hurt the one you love,
just because you felt unsure.
Im the me that has Joy in her pores.
Im the me that enjoyed being invisible, and knowing everything about me made you feel invincible.
I'm the me that should've been this me before the real me.
Im finally me thanks to you.
and theres nothing you can do.
Mar 19, 2017
Mar 19, 2017 at 1:54 PM UTC
You make me smile, and you make me laugh. You make every day amazing.You are crazy, wild, and free. And I hope that you never do leave me. You always bring sunshine with you, everywhere you go. That smile, those eyes. What's a girl to do. I've seen you break hearts, and I don't know what to do, mine is next in line if you ever do choose to say the word. One small word that would tear my world apart. But living on the edge with you has made me feel so free. I have traveled because of you, I have seen new creatures, danced to a new song, learned new words, tasted the southern charm. You are my southern charm. Even if you say the word, I know that it will hurt. But you have opened my eyes to a whole new world, even if I have to be in it without you. You have made my life worth living. And I just want to say Thank You.
Sep 14, 2015
Sep 14, 2015 at 3:56 PM UTC
By Arcassin Burnham
Heal my scars,
Don't let me down,
True colors in a textbook is what I found,
I also found,
That you can not be trusted,
Lie too much,
When you say trust is what you thrive on,
Not the first time,
We've all Been let down before,
Now you need somebody's grave that you could smile on,
Well it won't be mine,
I figured I'd take the time,
To tell you,
That you'll need me when the pay is due,
You decide weather or not you want it to work with us,
I'll be waiting,
Concentrating on the one thing you care about,
My guesses are,
yourself.
Mar 27, 2015
Mar 27, 2015 at 6:02 PM UTC