#neutrality
Endless dwelling
Mindless fretting
Never ending
Never mending
Suddenly it ceases
The mind eases
Nothing but breezes
Light quiet wheezes
No more weighing agony
No more cruel disharmony
Only mental neutrality
Sweet releasing apathy
Nov 22, 2025
Nov 22, 2025 at 6:06 PM UTC
I struggle so deeply
to feel at home in my body,
all I feel when I look at my chest
is all of the men that used me like a doll
of my mom shaming me in my head
for my big *******
and how "provocative " I am
for just existing,
for society sexualizing me,
for all the women that hated me for my body/looks,and objectified me
and all the men that "loved" me /used me just for my body and sexualized me
with their eyes.
It hurts so deeply to feel so violated all the time
it echoes in my mind,body and soul
all the repeated violations words, looks and all the aching laughter,
the way everyone in my family
sexualized me since I was a child,
so intern I internalized all the hatred to my body and my chest.
I just wander if these people truly understand
how much their actions truly affect others,
how deeply I suffer with complex post trauma all the time
and dysphoria sometimes,
from the deep pain of ****** violence
when I truly look at it all,
its not even wanting to be a man
so much so , as wanting to be seen as a person.
who is worthy of being heard,
not because I am pretty ***** or curvy
or hot or ****
but because I am smart I am strong
I am impressive and resiliant
have a beautiful mind
and I am not just how I look
or how I present.
My whole life I was influenced and taught to believe
that my only value as a women
was my looks,
or to be chosen by a man or by my society,
and to exist as a baby making machine,
while not complaining or being "too much ".
That I shouldn't show my body too much , & that I should always look good 24/7,like I am a doll of some kind, instead of a human being.
How my body was the reason for men sinning
and how I would go to hell for my thoughts or behaviors
if I wasn't perfect.
Now I am realizing none of that truly matters,
and I don't wanna live the rest of my life
chasing validation,
or feeling like I need others approval to feel whole inside,
I wanna accept who I am
love who I am
and like myself for who I am,
and not just for my looks or for my body or sexuality,
but for who I am down to my core
the good and the seemingly bad imperfections
to feel safe in myself and that is beautiful to just be me
without needing to put on a show for anyone.
Jun 21, 2023
Jun 21, 2023 at 3:59 PM UTC
Most of the political world
needs to reevaluate on
how indifferent neutrality
and tactful compromise
does not amount to
equal measures
in a thriving democracy.
Mar 3, 2021
Mar 3, 2021 at 10:23 PM UTC
Neutrality / n.
absence of decided views, expressions, or strong feelings
"I am in all sorts of neutrality."
Oct 20, 2020
Oct 20, 2020 at 12:15 AM UTC
squeeze the bottle tightly
Someone said don't go quietly.
Trace the vein
I feel something, but only slightly.
Jun 20, 2020
Jun 20, 2020 at 10:46 PM UTC
you've always told me
that your personality lies
on whatever's in between
or who ever is in the outside
of a conflict
watching
weighing
wondering
you told me that
you'd want to be that guy
whom everybody can talk to
whom everybody can relate to
whom everybody can look up to
who's always
watching
weighing
wondering
a wallflower
a grandfather's clock
a lost artifact
sitting in a room
flooded with opinions
storming, crashing
through the shores of
your acceptance, and perhaps
your side
but you never did
like a sterile tree
I waited for you to bloom
to grow fruits
you never did
and you never will
cause you're just playing god
watching
weighing
wondering
but never helps.
Dec 29, 2018
Dec 29, 2018 at 1:01 PM UTC
//
Sometimes, there is an inner darkness that speaks too close to our hearts. Tempting us. Making us yield.
I know it is bad to bow down to these baser motives. These seductions that occur in the darkness of our beings. But, this all depends on us.
To decide whether or not to fall victim to its height of bliss, or to eventually fall to our knees once these illusions are over. It is my decision whether or not to fulfill this growing void.
My only question is, who would always be foolish to believe that darkness is a monstrous path, rather than a human delusion?
//
Jul 23, 2018
Jul 23, 2018 at 10:37 AM UTC
It is not always easy to express one's self
When his artistic creations are never placed in galleries
They are often forgotten of
Sitting there gathering dust on a storage shelf.
It seems as if ten more people are at the same task
As which you create with
Comparing their outcomes to your own
Your light of hope fails to light
Due to many missing you that must express
such visions
A dog starved to the bone.
Eyes meet the other exhibits
As your kiosk is primarily never sought for business
The confidence of challenge is there, however, it soon melts away
When all of the hard work which you have placed
in expressions for the world to see
Fade to darkness like the "dark side of the moon"
As night simply ends the days.
Questions remain about what you are truly "gifted"
at or "ahead" of other game pieces on the board game of life.
When so many are inventive such as you
One too many is a crowd.
You pull down a fake smile. A fake shrowd.
Now the net is neutral
Damaging my once vibrant flow
As my hands are now tied to how I can grow
The rules of the game are now many and harder to get around
Like a roadblock in your sight of your future
The air begins to become too thin and your mind weighs heavy
As the cut in your creative inventiveness
Bleeds too heavy and needs a "miraculous" suture.
Needing others on my team
Every time I seek out such
I'm the "driver x" at the "speed races"
and the "forced gun" to bear uninspiring
and lonely expressive paces.
Is their justice to the laws limiting one's freedom of expression
just to protect those in the "top few?"
When the own half of the platform on which you try and "compete"
However, you are too small to be seen as "you."
Jan 9, 2018
Jan 9, 2018 at 4:12 AM UTC
One last step
Through the forest before the trees are cut down.
One last flight into space
Before the the satellites keep us in.
One last read
Before the library cuts the sentence by toll.
One last champion
Before his logos show.
One last man.
Before he places the devil around his neck.
One last word.
Before they charge me for every other after.
Freedom doesn't have "a last".
Freedom is lasting.
Dec 12, 2017
Dec 12, 2017 at 11:25 AM UTC
Humor comes in a million different shades.
As mine reaches various greys and yellows,
I admit, more often an inkling than a joke,
I say, "I could die happy, right now."
This life assures me nothing good nor bad.
Blah.
Maybe the next? If any.
I won't take anything away from myself because that would mean,
I have an enemy.
And you don't run from your enemies,
You face them.
So it's safe to say,
I am here until I am not.
«c.h.b.»
Sep 12, 2017
Sep 12, 2017 at 5:29 PM UTC
The glowing eyes of the monstrous beast
gleam with hunger for more information
more money, more censorship
more more more
If you want freedom of expression
there's a fine to pay
Didn't you know? Knowledge comes at a price
take take take
It sees what you see
It knows what you know and more
while hiding you within the shadows of ignorance
more more MORE
You have no unalienable rights that it won't take
Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness?
What a joke.
take take TAKE
A future full of more take than give
Is that what you want?
Or are you willing to fight for freedom?
FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT
Jul 12, 2017
Jul 12, 2017 at 9:29 AM UTC
I do not love nor I do hate,
I don’t put anything at stake,
I don’t attempt to make mistakes,
When it come to fight face to face,
Its these old lines which make win work,
May be a gift – may be a curse,
To one – it may be held assert,
To others – they mioght as well kiss the dirt,
It may be black, it may be white,
It may be wrong it may be right,
One may see all or lose their sight,
It doesn’t matter in the fight,
Cause fights all show we’re all the same,
We’d strike them hard or lose the fame,
No matter what – we feel the pain,
To stay the same is pain to train…
Sep 22, 2014
Sep 22, 2014 at 2:41 PM UTC
I want to knock out all your teeth
with airborne nuggets of wisdom.
I want your empty gums to bleed
with pain and hatred and progress.
I want you to cut your hair off,
collect the locks, and throw
them at the trees in the afternoon,
for sanity's sake,
and I want the clouds sunk
into your head to spell
out like an airshow,
"I am Real, Valid, and going
to die."
Sometimes sitting straight up
in bed has its purpose,
pulling the blanket to the floor
and humming all those songs
without words, it's like therapy,
like rest, like wood.
The Lord will find his face
formed in your gnarls,
and he will cry.
He will say he loved you
since the beginning, since
you pierced your nose,
and that it doesn't matter
that you look down more
often than ahead, and that
your sighs grow flowers
at your feet.
Aug 29, 2014
Aug 29, 2014 at 11:30 AM UTC
There's nothing here
or there
that makes me think to myself.
There's no thought here
or there
that makes me question reality.
There's no reality here
or there
that makes me look forward to the future.
There's no future here
or there
that makes my past seem worth the effort.
There's no effort here
or there
that makes me believe either side has anything going for it.
There's no belief here
or there
that makes it all understandable, righteous, reasonable.
There's no reason here
or there
that makes any of this make sense.
There's no wrong,
there's no right,
there's no up,
there's no down.
All there is
is me.
In the middle,
unaffected.
May 28, 2014
May 28, 2014 at 3:57 AM UTC
“My sole goal in life is to keep racing
down the interstate without a clock
so I can keep going until people forget who I am.”
In my head I knew I was wrong
hypocritical, insane, illogical, but above all I was still
humane!
This, yes, this sole fact is what keeps me
separated from you
draw a straight line down the road we lived on
the squares and the circles.
You, with your fancy plaque and NHS bumper sticker
With the family of four and no reason to feel failure
With your perfect scores and magnificent vernacular
Who let you have it so easy?!
Me, with my Jimi Hendrix poster
family of who knows how many
and the chance to earn my GED in a few years
Why was it me?!
You met your wife in the 10th grade
You gave her a promise ring and everything
Even took her with you on spring break
Who said you didn't have to try?!
I was placed in the wards that year
they said it was insanity
I thought I was just thinking ahead
Why can’t they understand?!
BUT THEY ALWAYS UNDERSTAND YOU!
You, your Shakespeare perfect jargon
Mr. Right, Perfect, next coming of Beethoven
You were made to please everyone and become important!
And that’s what separates us.
Even though it’s the same street that raised us
I bought the Harley and your parents got you the Chevy.
And I recall the one time I was flying down the interstate
And caught up to you as you were going nothing higher than 70.
I stared at you and you kept your eyes on the road.
I don’t blame you, I knew that you just wanted to see my bomber jacket
I have a skull on fire on the back of it
So I gave you a great view
hope you enjoyed it.
May 19, 2014
May 19, 2014 at 1:40 AM UTC