daily cold mornings and hot coffee
unsolicited choir practice
butterfly moments
beginning anew
Feb 4
Feb 4, 2026 at 8:50 PM UTC
I’m on this ship,
A ship for one,
Out at sea,
It’s beautiful yet nerve wracking,
I search and I see where I’m going to be
Optimism is key,
“No. Bad. Thoughts.”
I tell myself, almost constantly,
But it’s just out of my reach...
This anchor is attached to my heart
There it lived.
Then, ripped from my chest,
Leaving my body, weak, pained, dragged,
Into the dark gradient ocean
It lowers, as I twist, wind, and fight,
above sea.
Though, I find myself tired,
At times.
It wins.
It keeps me still.
Can I stay here?
It’s nice in theory...
Sometimes I’m triumphant.
Sometimes I win.
I am above the darkness,
There’s the veil,
I am no longer down there,
I see and hear signs of
Happiness.
So
Close.
Up, I must bring my heart.
Sew up my chest,
Wipe my tears,
More than once,
This cycle is done.
Look ahead,
Go. Forward.
And don’t look back.
But never forget.
Sep 24, 2022
Sep 24, 2022 at 11:59 PM UTC
Never ending,
continuously reminding,
unpausing,
haunting.
My grief.
A cliff where my love hangs on a thread,
clouded behind this smile,
this laugh.
Care to look closer?
My grief.
Growing,
Flaring,
Exploding,
My grief.
Dwindling,
Deflating,
Flattening,
My grief.
Strengthening,
Time consuming,
Soul-sucking,
Depressing,
Enlightening,
My grief.
Nov 7, 2021
Nov 7, 2021 at 3:03 PM UTC
It’s easier said than done.
Words that motivate only,
on the surface.
Then what?
It’s easier said than done.
I am not you.
You are not me.
But we stand side by side.
It’s easier said than done.
Speak to me.
Not at me.
Thank you for being you.
It’s easier said than done.
Don’t push me too hard
I just might leave.
I’ll be back....
It’s easier said than done
Dec 21, 2019
Dec 21, 2019 at 12:30 AM UTC
Just staring at this blank page,
Makes my mind crumble.
Just minutes ago I had a novel of why
I have no clue what I’m doing
My heart is fading over myself
I come first. I hope I always will.
These tears are a reminder to keep searching
To keep an opening for something special
To come and make me whole!
Love is a mystery from my mind to my heart.
I’ll be here, fall after fall...
Each rise more forgotten than the last.
<c.h.b.>
Dec 21, 2019
Dec 21, 2019 at 12:07 AM UTC
My mind is a dying forest
I must nourish it with knowledge
My ancestors live in one hundred feet tall trees
I have rivers
They remind me of time
And how much I have left
My heart belongs to the universe
I must leave it open
Dec 10, 2019
Dec 10, 2019 at 12:57 AM UTC
I refuse to be a person you walk all over
I play roles where I’m speaking my mind
Telling you, “you don’t deserve me.
I don’t deserve you.”
I couldn’t tell you with a clear mind.
I choose to say in forth coming fog,
Thick like your head, heart and skin.
I want to make you feel hurt, my pain.
Will words do that?
Do I want this?
I was everything before you,
Without you again, I’ll be something.
Something I can no longer be afraid to be.
Apr 25, 2019
Apr 25, 2019 at 10:03 PM UTC
I’m not quite myself this night.
Tonight, I’m fleeting.
I’m leaving.
Jk but I want to leave.
Jan 25, 2019
Jan 25, 2019 at 11:25 PM UTC
I hear the cry in your eyes
I feel your longing for peace
Am I as helpless as I fear you think I am?
If three syllables could move this mountain,
I’d scream it out loud,
mending our wounds,
Yours a worried soul,
Mine a unsettled heart.
<c.h.b.>
Jan 13, 2019
Jan 13, 2019 at 4:15 PM UTC
Every day, there is a new revelation,
I understand about myself.
It stings.
This loneliness is for my own good.
I see that,
in this moment.
This emotional roller coaster is
Me,
growing out and up.
That is normal.
Let me let out this deep breath.
Let me have this.
And that is good enough for me.
I want a little normal,
to go along with all my weird...
Sep 29, 2018
Sep 29, 2018 at 3:33 AM UTC