#nervousness
Today is my result of an Entrance Exam,
I am filled with nervousness like a dam.
I Don't Know !
Whether it will come in my favor or not.
I Don't Know !
Whether I will be able to follow my dream from my dream College.
I Don't Know !
Whether The Result will bring me joy or sorrow.
I DON'T KNOW.................
I DON'T KNOW.................
I DON'T KNOW.................
I DON'T KNOW.................
I DON'T KNOW.................
Apr 18
Apr 18, 2026 at 8:43 AM UTC
The disgusting drink is working
clouds of patchouli lift me up
and my cloak is left behind
Hypnotised, caressed
by downy hair of sheep's wool
I dream of floating heavily
up to dancing hands
and it doesn't bother me what
thoughts of lust you secretly
smear over my skin
You may watch, even touch
me where it is not allowed
I am safe in the bubble
of confidence that I have
blown around my nerves
Nov 26, 2025
Nov 26, 2025 at 4:24 AM UTC
In, 2, 3, 4
Out, 2, 3, 4
What's this feeling
I just can't ignore?
In, 2, 3, 4
Out, 2, 3, 4
Need to close my eyes
Need to lock the door
5 things I see
4 things I touch
Everything around me
Is just too much
3 things I hear
2 things I smell
I can't seem to breathe
Hear the ringing of a bell
And finally, 1 thing I taste
But I'm anxious still
Let me experience life freely
Or just go in for the ****
Sep 29, 2024
Sep 29, 2024 at 11:43 AM UTC
winding winds weave patterns in my chest
a soft flower like a cloud up my throat
ehem ehem
a clicking swallow: a pinecone slides down
hitting a trembling trampoline stomach, and bouncing
like marble about
a cotton sparrow pecking somewhere everywhere
with its little blue beak of bead
ehem ehem
eye meets eye and eye eye
and winds bloom by, stirring the sky and
low bronze brooding grass, as
leaf leaf leaf laces down, down glittering slow
stumbling midair, stumbling in rays sneaking in through brown
stumbling like lost bee in a pathway of gold
then settling down light as a kiss, as a
curling of lashes on the parapet of eye
I had some tickling words—
velvet quilt round a tongue of damp wood
a tick of skin and tendon and beat
as all the gears in me lock in place
open the mechanical gates and out
the stuttering sparrow, small
with its wobbly chirp that, practiced, perfected,
spills still plaintive in the silence of stone
‘do you have an— an a scale?’
‘thanks—’
oh mY JASM—
Jan 11, 2022
Jan 11, 2022 at 2:02 PM UTC
my heart flutters with fire.
my cheeks the color of the blood running through my veins
my eyes light up like the moon in the night sky
my tummy doing somersaults with butterflies
my hands run through my hair with excitement and nervousness to not scare u a way
Dec 3, 2020
Dec 3, 2020 at 7:12 PM UTC
𝘏𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘮𝘺 𝘰𝘥𝘥 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦
𝘚𝘩𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝘣𝘰𝘹𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘤
𝘞𝘢𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘦𝘯
Apr 11, 2019
Apr 11, 2019 at 7:30 AM UTC
I have been buzzing around meaningless
Day after day, week after week
It’s still here
Fog in the form of sand trapped in my brain
Static is too dull a word to describe it
**** this
I have nothing else to sort through
The exhaustion is worthless even though I still have it
And I’ve been screaming for so long
But because I am paralyzed
Because I gripped my own throat for too long
Only dust comes out when my mouth unhinges
I’m still impatiently waiting for happiness to come and clean me up
Spark spark spark
I clench my fingers into my side
It feels like dirt in between my nails
I’ve been blown out like a candle
And like ash I float away
Oct 15, 2020
Oct 15, 2020 at 9:37 PM UTC
With the racing heartbeat
And the closed eye..!!
I was ready to give up the whole world of mine,
To someone... waiting for me on the aisle
Little did I know him and a lot to explore,
On journey ahead lies..!!
Eyes meet & result in a glorious smile,
Yes...!! everyone around cheered and
The expectations got high..!!
A lot waiting in the future and a lot I am going to say goodbye,
Giving me up to him, he tries his tears to be hide
Well it is a beautiful day since I am my groom's bride..!!
Jun 10, 2020
Jun 10, 2020 at 7:46 AM UTC
I miss the trip we took.
We didn’t mind feeling lost while we drove
through the forest, and we sang aloud
the entire way until we arrived at the
site. We pitched the tent, and then spent
the afternoon eating s’mores smothered
in whipped cream, sharing ghost
stories, and watching the lake’s current
come in and out. And when it came time
to hide away, we huddled into my red
sleeping bag, chatting about whatever
came to mind. That’s what I miss the most,
laying with you, discovering how your
mind moves. Or how mentioning we
smelled like s’mores made you go from
a giggle into a hearty laugh.
Then a lengthy gaze turned to a yearning
silence. I miss you running your warm palm
down my chest. Flesh on flesh became our
flesh, breath on breath became our breath.
By the time you fell asleep you had engulfed
me into your small, dying flame, and
embraced me into the furthest depths you
would ever let anyone reach. I remember
wishing it would never end.
But I also remember lying there, still awake,
my body almost shaking from all that was
surging through my nerves and veins,
feeling more nervous than satisfied. And
soon, once the weeks of bliss had gone by,
you realized I was letting you down. You
didn’t seem distraught, or rejected;
you were disappointed.
Now, I will not chastise myself for having
old wounds still healing. I will not be
ashamed for still having armor, for having
to try to surrender, for regarding the body
and heart of the person you fell for with
disgust. But I don’t want to indulge in my
progress or lack thereof, because for you
it’s true, I let you down. You saw me
covered, and you saw me **** but you
never saw me naked, exposed, vulnerable
and raw. I wouldn’t let you.
And I’m certain for you it was like expecting
a call that won’t come. And when the phone
finally rings you are not there to answer.
You gave up long ago. And I’m still
not even willing to call.
May 30, 2020
May 30, 2020 at 2:04 PM UTC
Unimaginable joy
Un-channel-able emotion
So good
Yet so terrifying
Fear of messing up
But boundless joy of the return of emotion
How shall this be placed into words?
I wonder
Coming up with anything
Yet nothing truly fits
Shaking before you
Looking to the floor in nervousness
Then
Embrace
Short, yet comforting
Heartbeat
So loud and calming
Then a little wave goodbye
Once out of sight
A little twirl in the sun
Smiling in glee
For what has become of me
Taking a seat
My heart skips a beat
Thinking of this marvel
That this has become.
- Jay M
April 17th, 2019
Apr 17, 2019
Apr 17, 2019 at 7:46 PM UTC
my head could last for days
my head could think up a hole
It would take me a minute to try to distinguish a cold shoulder from cold
or maybe I’m something nice looking to ****
With men, that just be my luck,
Never know if it’s something to fear or if it’s truly something to trust,
but baby, you should stay, my head told me you wanted to go
I can’t take another heart break, so my heart, let’s just take it slow
Do you mind just actually leaving,
It would hurt less without an explanation
I’ve never felt worthy of one longer than a couple words,
Lonely and broken in the heated train station
my feelings and ego go away as soon as i look at your eyes
But come right back up on late night train rides
I wanna text you, but you’ll probably be suffocated
don’t expect gifts on my birthday unless it’s belated
momma reminds me to not settle for less than I’m worth
but momma don’t know that for love I’m a serf, for love, I’ll rebirth
But no worries, the couch is super comfy tonight
Your quickest replies are the ones that say goodbye, or so it seems,
My head is spinning like carousels after hours and behind the scenes
Shoot my heart like you on a dolly, got every angle
Hold my hand like you know who i am, baby, what can you handle?
I’m a mess inside and when I’m without you it spews
So doctors resort to telling me
“Honey, go sit in the pews”
But prayer to god, pray to allah and mami, nada me sirve
Y mami, con este dolor, amor nunca me hace libre
So anxious, and nervous, with no repercussions
So baby hit hard, slept w several concussions
Not the ones you think you got
But the ones that hit you in parking lots
You thought he would love you, but you can’t be loved
You thought it was his treat, end nights in Hyatt’s
Rent out a Beamer, **** it, a fiat
And baby you got me
Baby you got me
I wish i could see you and look in your eyes
I’ll sing some long and distracting lullabies
Don’t focus on the man you never signed up for, hes been through it all
You really wanna find a place with some privacy when weather gets cold in the fall?
his sisters running his life
And his parents not fit for the world
and if these planets don’t stop ******* moving, i swear I’m just gonna hurl
My body is broken in all the right places
if i don’t leave, he’s smashing all the glass vases
I should relax, pay attention to what makes sense
I’m over here in round two with my brain, playing chess
If you have hidden motives, would you promise to reveal?
If i had all these scars, would you help me to heal?
I have important questions to the subjects that matter
if something doesn’t go my way, it’s mind over the latter
My feelings are unattached, it’s my brain getting it twisted
So i think I’ll just go home and get myself lifted
blowing through cartridges like my gameboys too brolic
Can’t go a day without it, like a ****** alcoholic
I like you a lot, but my feelings won’t grow
I stress you a lot, but only on the low
I **** with you heavy, but my body’s too light
we could share stories in a dark room restricted of sight
Maybe you could feel what i feel and see what i see
I learn thrown in the deep end, but forget all out in sea
Mar 17, 2019
Mar 17, 2019 at 11:01 AM UTC
My relationship with mirrors is strained.
When I look I usually see what's probably
myself. I look better, probably, than before
when I slept no more than
3 hours every night
and spluttered through life
choking on words and stumbling over
misconceptions.
Now all of that is merely a buzz
trampled by a maximum dosage of meds
that let me function in life
but make everything a bit numb.
I much prefer numbness to personal nihilism.
Other times when I look in the mirror I
don't see much of anything.
When I'm in public and
the innocent looming presence of others
threatens my mind's fragile ego,
I see them abstracted in my periphery,
their glinting knives of eyes
sparing me a passing glance
(She's just smiling politely,
but my skewed eyes glimpse
faux teeth and behind them gargled, ****** judgements. I don't judge the digust.)
and I skim over a transparency
of myself in the mirror.
Too bad I can't actually disappear.
(Or maybe I can.
But I try to stray a little farther from those thoughts.)
Sometimes I feel heartbreakingly
ugly in that mirror. Lonely. Unwanted.
Even with all those doting eyes on me.
I feel relied upon for something. To be
the one who makes them laugh. The one
who fills the silence. The one
who works hard even with setbacks.
(Do they even expect that of me? Or do I?)
When
in reality
I'm none of those things.
Not truly. Not really.
Theres always that tug of opposition in me,
that feeling of ingenuity, a touch of facade.
But I don't want them to see an ugly side.
The side that mistrusts violently,
that lies stagnant with thoughts screaming.
Clamming up in the face of oppressing quiet.
The side
that rears its head when
they look a little too close.
Maybe it's my truest self, that broken side.
I wouldn't know. There
are too many walls. I can't even break them
myself.
Or maybe I've broken them all,
but I'm blindfolded,
feeling around an abyss with my eyes
wide open,
vision obscured by skin-tight fabric.
I could just,
untie that knot behind my head,
spiral further and further down--
just to feel something else--
But it's safer in this uneasy emotion.
I dont know if I'll ever find myself in
the mirror again.
Jan 21, 2019
Jan 21, 2019 at 12:12 AM UTC
The feeling of the
Pit of your stomach
Is uneasy
The feeling of hesitation
This is not pleasant
It makes you not think straight
You feel trapped inside
With your feelings
You want to
Speak your mind
But you are a loss for words
This feeling is powerful
But at the same time
It can be just as scary
It’s impossible to think that
Everyone has felt this
At one point in their life
The feeling of anxiousness
About the unknown
And the unexpected
Jan 6, 2019
Jan 6, 2019 at 9:44 AM UTC
“Ladies and gentlemen of the jury.
Your honour.
Play the evidence”
The sound of a projector whirrs
As wind in a snail shell.
TAKE ONE.
REPLAY.
“The defendant knew the man,
Had talked to him on train stations,
But kept it as hidden as a brief encounter.
He knew this man liked that band,
Not liked, loved,
And the defendant had a whole playlist to recommend and a whole compilation of
Critical readings on Post-Britpop to articulate.
However!
the defendant being
Slow and mollusc minded.
He kept his oyster shut.
SLOW THE FILM!...”
The whirring whizzes to ticking,
As nagging as potentially productive hours.
“Slowing the footage,
we can see
That his mouth even hesitantly gaped for a second.
Not one of his greatest hits was it?”
Ha,
I think,
No need to punish me.
I do that deed upon myself.
My pen scribbling, clicking,
Ticking,
Whirring,
In my head at night,
With conversations I never had.
Sep 18, 2018
Sep 18, 2018 at 11:28 AM UTC
When you feel like an intruder
In your own house
Awkward and stiff
Nervous and sick
And hide by running,
Or driving
Far, far, far
Your only wish is to breathe
Without the creeping of consequence
Without the knot in your stomach
And the chill on your skin
Aug 19, 2018
Aug 19, 2018 at 3:17 PM UTC
I remember all of your favorite things
like the way you love a certain snack
And even though I'm going different places in life
I'll always remember the way you held my hand
how i almost wanted to kiss you in that moment
but how does one confess
that I wanna be your first kiss
the words were on the tip of my tongue
almost said the words
but when the opportunity arose
suddenly I froze up
looking into your hazel eyes
May 20, 2018
May 20, 2018 at 12:29 PM UTC
Is it possible to wanna get married without ever meeting in real life? Especially if you have never even met their family or friends. Could it work or will this seemingly endless love eventually run out? What if the two lovers come from completely different backgrounds. Would this enticing marriage last? I've always wondered and now I'm searching for answers. I just want to be happy but maybe this is too much to ask.
Apr 20, 2018
Apr 20, 2018 at 5:04 PM UTC
Attentive eyes
and nervous jitter,
trembling hearts
await their fate
barbaric practice
of modern acceptation
fear is faced
in university fashion
Navy blue professor,
of conductor hands
Apr 19, 2017
Apr 19, 2017 at 9:09 PM UTC
I failed yesterday.
But that doesn’t matter, ‘cause I fail everyday.
When I ***** up a presentation.
It brings about a new sensation.
One of hatred and self-doubt.
My brain’s suffering a drought.
A lack of motivation.
Little information. Too many interpretations.
How can I function when I can’t think straight?
Too many variables. The consequences too great.
That’s why I do nothing.
Instead of presenting, I’m running.
Far, far away from everyone.
To a place where there’s no one. Anyone.
But me and my mind.
I’ve let people down.
My family, my friends. Their faces have frowns.
I’m such a screw-up. I want to disappear.
I’m just tired of all these stupid fears.
I turn around. Try to go back. But I hit a wall.
Instead of improving, I fall.
Back into old habits.
It’s like playing a game. Playing gambits.
I stand up there. On stage.
My heart is pounding. An internal rage.
Thoughts are swirling inside my head.
All I want now is to go to bed.
No, no! I won’t accept defeat.
I’ve come too far just to fall and taste concrete.
So, even if it’s terrible, even if nobody hears me.
I’m going to try, and that’s what it’s gonna be.
‘Cause I think in the end, trying something will be my savior.
Instead of simply relapsing into failure.
Mar 7, 2018
Mar 7, 2018 at 4:39 PM UTC
Does that make it unjust.
That I not share every detail that bursts open inside me.
Every time I hear your name.
Every time that I think about you.
I admit that it comes as unjust.
That it's an unhealthy habit as eventually it has nowhere else to go.
But instead to suffocate everything that it touches.
These butterflies that I keep locked up.
This love that I keep inside.
It fills up inside of me and I fear that if I speak
Everything will ooze on out.
And these butterflies will fly away with no intention of coming back.
The original packaging will have no other use.
But to sit and wait to be filled again.
Unjustly sitting idle with nothing to be filled.
Does that truly make it unjust.
That the most beautiful things are mostly kept hidden in fear.
But before you speak.
What seems as unjust and upright obnoxious is in fact a means to grow.
To flourish into one of the most beautiful things yet spoken.
That what comes off as fear, as a sudden means to withdraw myself
Actually serves as a means to love you deeper than perhaps
what our current environment would allow.
To keep these things that no one else would never know.
And share them with you when the time is right.
In truth you are the most beautiful thing thats perhaps kept me in check.
That without you I would further have no reason to acknowledge
These butterflies that I keep locked away.
Because the most beautiful things in life are destroyed by which
Are not understood.
Dec 7, 2017
Dec 7, 2017 at 11:25 AM UTC
We sat side by side that evening
:a pair of lost children
before the menu list of dining.
Looks like I'm the only one
who can hear your heart throb
looks like you're the only one
who isn't bothered by ugly music
in that tea shop.
From where does this nervous start?
Eight kilometers ago a greedy fate
swallowed all holidays
and postponed journey of prayer,
delaying your arrival in the reach
of my helpless desire.
Though you finally arrived
and we sat side by side
all evening, the cracking
weather at the end of the year
did not stop sending a signal
to the trembling cup of tea in
my hand.
The conversation is like a wraith,
because words already we keep
in faith.
And in the arch of your cheeks,
twilight becomes innocent
Like a single little sin
that slowly being forgiven.
Aug 2, 2017
Aug 2, 2017 at 8:21 PM UTC
don't we all wish we could go back and change certain things?
don't we all need a period of rest and reflection?
i think about the past a lot.
not a certain time period or memory, but all at once.
i don't quite think it's good or bad, it's just there.
waiting.
ready to strike at any moment.
throwing me into a nervous frenzy.
Jun 30, 2017
Jun 30, 2017 at 12:44 PM UTC
“What's wrong with you?” they say,
“Can't you calm down for just a moment,
Take a deep breath--
Slow down,
Get centered and
Relax.
Stop being so **** negative,
What's the worry,
What's the hurry?
You can't solve every problem,
Let it go--
Hey not so fast.
Maybe, yes just maybe
If you stopped being so **** frightened
Well then maybe for a moment
All those fears would dissipate,
If you just stopped your overthinking
Your hypotheticals,
Possibilities,
If you let life flow all around you
You'd have that peace you say you crave.”
But they are wrong.
Anxiety isn't nervousness.
Anxiety isn't cowardice.
Anxiety is a call to those
Whose eyes are open to the fight.
It is a certain sensitivity
An alertness;
A war machine never idle
There’s a buzzing below the surface,
There is no calm before this storm.
It is the constant sentinel
Vigilant in clash with
Paralysis,
There is no honor,
No heroism in this struggle
Whose burden countermands reward.
It is not the soldier’s nature to relax.
It is an instinct,
It is concern for you, for me, for others,
It is a special steadfast mutiny
When
Psyche fights the soul.
You say it is a weakness.
You subject me to societal court martial,
Though you cavalierly create conflicts
You say I am afraid.
But those consummate in combat,
Introspective and insightful,
True veterans of life’s battles
Know,
It's fear defines the brave.
Jun 29, 2017
Jun 29, 2017 at 12:55 AM UTC