So as a result you’re going to create memory after memory with the person who you consider a home
Album after album filled up with photographs
Inside jokes that only you get
Certain songs that are ‘’your song’’
And if you’ve been dating for a long time then you enter a new life stage
Marriage and the exchanges of I do’s and the new life together as newlyweds
Apr 9
Apr 9, 2026 at 9:38 AM UTC
tell my mom that
i didn’t cry, when they
came for me
even if it’s a lie,
especially if it’s a lie
tell her about the
exact jacket and boots
that i’d like to wear,
and to please not put me
in the ground
don’t tell her about the
tears that streamed down
my cheeks and mixed with the
blood dribbling from my
nose and mouth
tell her what i would
have wanted her to have,
and make sure she takes even
what she feels she doesn’t deserve,
because she does
don’t tell her how i kept the
knife my father gave me and
that the blood on it
wasn’t mine
tell her that i’m sorry
for making the conscious choice to
shorten my own life expectancy
so i could live out what was left
of it in the way that i wanted
don’t tell her how the scar stretching
across my chest was too low to be
reopened in autopsy, but the scotch
broom on my collarbones made
the perfect guideline
tell her i saw the sun rise in
pinks and blues that morning,
and turned my face to that light,
instead of away
Apr 9
Apr 9, 2026 at 9:32 AM UTC
Will you comfort me
when winter time is upon us
once again
or leave me out in the cold
wanting the warmth of your embrace
your love is sweet, loving and one that is forever
when whispers of doubt surround us
we ignore the whispers
and carry on with our day
secretly I'm hoping you'll stay
but in case you don't
think of the unfiltered parts of our love
Jun 26, 2024
Jun 26, 2024 at 7:34 AM UTC
Checked my drafts for the first time in a long time
saw the email just collecting dust in my drafts
honestly thought I had pressed send by accident
so glad that it's made a home in my drafts instead of being sent to your inbox
Jun 26, 2024
Jun 26, 2024 at 7:33 AM UTC
I think what I've learned the most while being in quarantine
is the importance of treasuring every moment and not taking things for granted
I remember the pattern asking me this question : What has been your biggest lesson
or realization over the last month
spend time with the ones you love
you think that you have all the time in the world to spend time with them
or to have them with you in this life
until one day you lose them
It will hurt the familiar pain of grief and loss
Sadness, shame and anger are normal emotions to feel
you might feel a lot of guilt and shame towards yourself
in addition to anger
Forgive yourself for what you could've done differently and the what-if's
there will be days that aren't the easiest
on those days do whatever you need to
whether it's journaling or watching your favorite comfort movie
just know that you aren't alone in feeling like this
grieving wise
just be gentle with yourself
take it one step at a time
The true lesson in all of this is life is short
grief isn't easy
it's even harder in the pandemic
you think for a moment
maybe life will give me a break
only to realize that the world doesn't stop for anyone and that life goes on
nothing prepared you for the worst news of your life
in that moment it felt like the whole world had stopped
everything I held dear came to a screeching halt
started to overthink the littlest things such as did they realize how much I truly loved them
the importance of saying I love you to the ones I love and care about
along with the words did you get home safely & how are you feeling
isolating myself even more by curling up under the covers and putting my phone on mute
there were days I didn't want to get out of bed
just wanting to be left alone
I knew I couldn’t stay in bed forever
Took it day by day being gentle with myself
but what helped me through my grieving process was knowing that there isn't a right or wrong way to grieve
taking my time to truly process my emotions
not feeling rushed to be productive or happy when I didn't feel like it
that it was okay to take all the time I needed to grieve
my friends words brought me comfort & helped me realize that I wasn't alone
I wanted to help other people who might be experiencing grief by sharing these words
Jun 26, 2024
Jun 26, 2024 at 7:32 AM UTC
I was going through my emails
deleting some of them
for some reason, I decided to look through the sent folder.
scrolling and scrolling
until one email caught my eye
it was the one with your name on it
if anyone were to ask i'd answer no i don't regret it
Jul 1, 2023
Jul 1, 2023 at 10:30 AM UTC
this is for anyone going through anything at the moment
lots of people might say it's going to be okay, or it'll get better
while that is helpful
you might not feel that way
in case you're feeling that way right now
take all the time you need, be gentle with yourself
give yourself tender loving care
Apr 12, 2022
Apr 12, 2022 at 3:34 AM UTC
love when you've found it
is very beautiful
love truly is something to be treasured and cherished
perhaps that's why I hold it close to my chest and nurture it everyday
like my favorite flower
When I think of the word love
it makes me think of someone saying this to me
''I'll be with you through the good days and your bad days''
holding my hand through those times
Aug 5, 2021
Aug 5, 2021 at 7:42 PM UTC
Falling out of love with you
it was a slow process
I wasn't prepared for the feelings
I still had wrapped up in this poem
Receipt still unclear
Just like I wanted
Avoiding certain songs
Memories of how it used to be between us
danced around in my head
I think of our love as a golden heart shaped necklace
that has been preserved
Stashed away to never be open again
the sadness that I felt when I wrote this poem
was truly one where I didn't like facing the truth
but I accepted it eventually
no longer living in denial
I still can't believe how everything unfolded
The anger & sadness
Embracing both at one point
instead of pushing my feelings away
It felt therapeutic to finally not push my feelings
away
The love we had was rare
But the pain I'll always keep in mind
as a reminder to myself
In order to stay strong
For when you finally realize what you lost
Jul 16, 2021
Jul 16, 2021 at 8:26 PM UTC
As I search the internet trying to find the right quote for summing up grief
I decided to just stop trying to find that quote
because honestly nothing could've prepared me to face the familiar feelings once again
no matter how the news is given to me
It still isn't easy
words left unspoken or words that I meant to say but now it's too late
writing my feelings helps every once in a while
on paper at least
sadness still remains
certain days are the hardest
but in my mind you still live on
Feb 1, 2021
Feb 1, 2021 at 6:20 AM UTC