#mymind
My brain warps around every little thing around me,
A glance that didn't sit right,
A tension in the room,
The words I should have or could have said.
My brain keeps twirling, spinning, never-ending.
Why do I always imagine what could have been?
Why is my brain so fixated on my past that it can not move forward?
Forward...
Never gonna happen with a brain like that.
It's not like it does not know,
It knows that glance meant nothing,
That no one hates you,
That there was nothing I could have said,
That it is in the past and it's ok..
Is it??
My brain does not think so..
No, my brain is not only stuck on the past,
It is worrying about my future too.
Imagining what I should do if or when something happens.
Some say it is a defence mechanism,
To me...it's a trap.
A trap that has held me captive for so many years,
A trap that has never lost its sickening grip.
How do I escape??
I sleep,
Hoping that it will consume my worries and make me feel ok,
Hoping that in my sleep, my insecurities would go away,
Hoping that when I wake up, it will feel like a clean slate.
But when I wake, it feels like a weight has been put on my shoulders,
The weight of my brain falls upon me,
The weight of the past four years is thrown on me the moment I open my eyes.
My brain returns to its self-destructive loop.
Yeah...my overthinking brain.
May 1
May 1, 2026 at 4:56 AM UTC
Staring at my ceiling,
I can't help but listen to my feelings.
But there are no thoughts
Its like I have no parts.
But you belong to me!
I shouldn't need a key!
My possession is you my dear thoughts and feelings.
If here, why do I not understand?
Do you want us to disband?
If you're me,
and I'm you.
Why do we not speak the same language?
Do I lack the knowledge?
Not taking me for worthy?
Oh, I beg you to have mercy.
But you're me,
and I'm you.
So, I should be merciful with myself
Umtil I have mastered my own spell.
Apr 10
Apr 10, 2026 at 5:18 PM UTC
Insidious night.
Encapsulate me forever,
I beg.
The word 'depressed' is trite.
Just like love, I feel more than I can say.
I hide behind apathy
Yet my emotions control me every day.
May 20, 2020
May 20, 2020 at 4:44 PM UTC
Forgive forget regret
Somethings are just too hard to forgive
Some people are just too much to forget
I'm ruining my life and no one understands why.
But i do i just can't seem to tell you why
But tell me am i the problem to why this **** happens
I mean you seem to make it out as it is my fault
The **** that happens you don't know the half of it yet you don't bother to ask
Not that i would waste my breath in telling you what i need you to hear
No no you only want to hear what makes you happy, so have you thought that maybe just maybe this is why i don't want to hear from you?
Come on you have to question it.
Yes i listen to what u want me i agree so you don't get mad at me not because i agree to what you say.
Okay so we have talked about the first one forgive
Well that was leading up to that
Forgive ( definition to the word forgive, verb stop feeling angry or resentful towards someone)
But what if you just can't simply forgive.
forgive part 1
Apr 14, 2020
Apr 14, 2020 at 3:54 AM UTC
I can't control your life
You can't let go of mine
Waiting
Hating
What's left in my mind
You seem to cross my memory
If I choose close my eyes
Forever
I'll see
What's next on the other side
Yet I'm left in ponder
It's only half passed nine
But it feels like a century
Like the beginning of time
Since you said goodbye
Oct 20, 2019
Oct 20, 2019 at 1:26 PM UTC
You're gone
You left me
Now I'm standing here
Lonely
You don't own me
But you showed me
How to be
A little happy
I'm sorry
For being sappy
But you moved on
To someone sadly
I tried twice
And again nothing
A blank stare
In silent suffering
Not left to die
But surely rotting
Away my mind
My heart unloving
You're gone
You left me
Here
Lonely
Oct 18, 2019
Oct 18, 2019 at 11:36 PM UTC
My mind
Spins
On an axis of my creation,
It twists,
So very fast,
With not a single nudge!
It whirls
In its circles
For no reason at all.
Pulling,
Pulling.
Pulling!
A string tied to its base
It weaves that string tighter,
Until there is no more string to weave
And my twirl must cease.
But end! End it shall not!
The string has broken,
and my mind has won at last!
Maybe the spin,
Ever growing in speed,
Can at last go in the right direction,
Before I fall off my axis
And tumble
Down
down
d o w n
d o w n
Mar 24, 2019
Mar 24, 2019 at 2:18 PM UTC
Its 3AM, and i´m all alone
nothings around me, just the walls of my empty room.
I´m sitting in front of the Window, Just my silhouette, black and grey.
Listening to the songs we used to hear together,
but now you're gone,
and i´m sitting here all alone on my empty Throne
Hope your journey goes on and on,
maybe you will notice where you belong
Watching outside, the rain keeps falling down
just one word to describe it
Drown
Behind the window I see a lonely soul,
like yours, but no peaceful mind at all
just full of useless things,
despite everything, I still think about it
Now the sun comes out, and steals the sadly beauty of the rain away
There's nothing more to say, just one simple
way to keep you in my memory
I have to catch every raindrop that falls down on my skin,
I am looking into the rainy clouds,
just the see your teardrops falling,
falling into my Soul
Nov 11, 2018
Nov 11, 2018 at 2:05 PM UTC
It’s an odd romance,
Yet it felt so right,
The charcoal that paints the pristine whites.
Like the scratches and scores across the flawless skin,
The smell of graphite sunk in her skirts,
A touch so rough, yet she yearns.
The creator smiled in delight,
The satisfaction shown in the depths,
From the soul the words formed,
Strung to a garland that met the lead.
The curves and lines the charcoal drew,
Made her quiver in pleasure and pain.
The creator dwelled in these sounds and sights,
Of the romance between his pen and paper.
Like water for a parched throat,
The words soothed many souls.
Aug 10, 2018
Aug 10, 2018 at 8:39 AM UTC
The thought beetle.
There is a little thought beetle deep within my mind;
He is going around, searching for a rhyme.
He digs out my unconscious thoughts
And helps me to write another line.
When his work is done, he hibernates
And I sit back and smile.
The ladybird flutters around inside my head;
She is in search of the pages, I haven't written yet.
She zips and darts, flitting from here to there;
She is always in a hurry and she is a nervous wreck.
The worm is just turning another corner, in my brain's maze;
He's having a look around, to see if there's anything I need to say.
Anything I forgot to mention; he will find what needs to be said.
The slowly moving worm is lazy, but he is useful in his own way,
(C)2016 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.
Apr 25, 2018
Apr 25, 2018 at 11:05 AM UTC
My mind wanders
Leaving a part of me behind, catching up doesn't seem
to stop- it's inevitable
Is has a life of it's own
Nothing seems to stop the constant hunger of wanting-
Wanting. Wanting it's own mind aside from I.
How is that even possible?
Clearly i am over thinking.
-M.
Jan 17, 2018
Jan 17, 2018 at 3:27 PM UTC
I wouldn’t have thought it
I’ve never been there
So I had to talk about it
With someone who had
Sometimes I laugh without humor
That’s all you can do
Letting it go without anger
That’s how you keep a friend
The sun’s one less problem now
I had to work my way around
I once loved it too much
But that sin is ready to forgive
I like psychedelic butterflies
They can see the air they dodge
Murals welcome them home
It’s up to us to remember them
I’m going to let you see
I’ll stand there while you tell me
What is it that I do to you
Those are the eyes I will believe
There’s a cure I have in mind
I swallowed the pill before we met
Remission is not enough
I’m never going back there again
It’s a song always in my head
I let it happen but I don’t know when
I hear it all the time
Not the same but the feeling instead
I can fade in and out
If you catch me on the bend
Just don’t let your ego cry about it
It’s important to know where I've been
She cried how can I do that
I asked do what
She said you know what I mean
I said when it wears off you won't ask
I wish I knew how to take you there
It's a lonely valley of discovery
I can't speak to you while the music plays
When I tell you my eyes will then become yours
Nov 20, 2017
Nov 20, 2017 at 8:49 PM UTC
writers
block
or
messy
mind
or
useless
thoughts
or
meaningless
words
Nov 13, 2017
Nov 13, 2017 at 1:53 PM UTC
my mind is not mine I cannot see
I’m held within a cage of lost liberty
my days are not my own
them seem to be controlled
by people far too wealthy I'm told
my nights are filled with dreams
that warn of time fleeting
of heart ripped and torn
a body that longs to dance airborne
and move to express itself
with no one to approve or ignore
I look with admiration
at dolphins presentation
of joyous jumps and gleeful communication
and see their lives free of limitation
as a talisman of my renunciation
with closed eyes I lie still
and look behind to see all that fills
alone and all one
my chains are broken
and on the cliff edge
I jump
to be awoken
Sep 17, 2016
Sep 17, 2016 at 7:05 AM UTC
"The difference between you and me
is when you wake up
your nightmare ends,
while mines begins."
Thinking
is like being trapped in your own mind
with everything you ever had a problem with,
left to dwell on it
until you think your going insane
But again you are only confined by the walls you hold yourself
Apr 8, 2016
Apr 8, 2016 at 7:29 PM UTC
I was always afraid of darkness,
but then I realized the only thing I was afraid of,
was my mind.
c.f.
Nov 13, 2015
Nov 13, 2015 at 9:52 PM UTC
Rain clouds as far as the eye can see.
Water pouring from the sky, drowning me.
I close my eyes, and shut out the dim, pale light.
I give into my sorrow, my starless night.
My eyes fill with tears, but they are covered up by the rain.
The blood drips from my body, and the water worsens the pain.
The pain shoots through my body, the worst pain I've ever known.
And i let out a scream of terror, the most weakness I've ever known.
I wait for myself to drown beneath the tide.
This time, why even bother to ask why?
I'm so far out to sea not a soul would hear me.
But then i remember, my mind is the sea.
My thoughts enclose me, trapped with no way out.
And then i stop crying, it's already too late, not a thing to cry about.
My eyes slowly close as the world fades away.
This time I'm asleep for good, I will not live to see another day.
A bittersweet smile finally crosses my face.
The muffled "goodbye" and I'm gone without a trace.
Oct 25, 2015
Oct 25, 2015 at 11:14 PM UTC
Stress
Get’s the best
Intoxication becomes lust
Lost becomes knots
Unknown answers
Stress
Constant runarounds
mindless
bottomless
heartless
shocked because the man tased it
shakeless
Jun 23, 2015
Jun 23, 2015 at 10:10 PM UTC
I’ve got a mission
To reach the destination
I was destined to go on a journey,
A journey which is unreached by many,
This is the journey of my life.
I shall walk down the empty streets
Through the boulevards of broken dreams
To the successfully riches
This is the journey which takes years to reach,
The journey of my life.
This journey is not an adventure,
It is a mental journey through nature
With the care & support of my family and friends,
I believe I can complete it with love in my hands…
So journey with me
Let’s push forward…
There’s nothing to rewind,
In this journey through my mind.
May 30, 2015
May 30, 2015 at 4:54 PM UTC
How should I say this
I'm a bit strange?
Nope, not a bit
To be exact.
Just entirely strange.
But the strange is my nature.
The weird is my home.
Insanity is my sanity.
Apr 28, 2015
Apr 28, 2015 at 9:59 AM UTC
As it lingers across the sea.
Are we staring at the same shooting star?
Do you feel the very same wind that blew upon my face.
How about the rain that started to fall?
Or maybe only in my mind...
Always on my mind...
Apr 2, 2015
Apr 2, 2015 at 9:44 PM UTC
My mind is frayed
Making me miss the days
I used to self-medicate
Didn't have to hesitate
Those days are far away
Sobriety making a lengthy stay
And it makes me manic
Paralyzed in an unending panic
Honestly I feel like ****
Calm and composed for a bit
Then hopelessly falling
Substances are calling
And it's ****** up
That I'm stuck up
Left confused and alone
Not to mention dangerously prone
To hatred and deprivation
Brutalized on the verge of starvation
I'm on a downward streak
Feeling more and more weak
So my pen bleeds words
That no one has ever heard
Dec 3, 2014
Dec 3, 2014 at 12:27 PM UTC