Look, i don't know why i feel
The way that i do,
I wish i had an answer as to why--
Why i feel fragile, and weak..
Why i always feel so out of tune
I feel fine one day and the next i feel
I feel so out of it..
My heart pounds, my breathing quickens
And I'm clenching my jaw to keep from
Screaming and choking back words..
I move as fast as i can to reach
a clear so i can let them out
To let the tears roll down
Sometimes i don't even make it
And i have no explanation why this happens
It happens when I'm alone,
while I'm speaking over the phone,
When I'm with you im okay I can speak
But something takes over me
And i feel lifeless
Empty but with all the emotions
That someone threw out and latched
to the nearest body to control
I feel like a puppet stuck with a never-ending
Understanding why i can't breatheeeeee
In moments like thissss
Will i ever get over feeling panicky
Or will i always be stuck with my anxiety?
- M.
Mar 23, 2018
Mar 23, 2018 at 5:49 PM UTC
Tear into my heart
An open wound pouring the secrets
I once whispered to you
Im gasping for air
But I'm drowning
---im drowning
And when i lift my chin
I'm pushed deeper in
The pressure is more than i can bear
Screaming to the heavens
I cry aloud hear me, oh, hear me!!!
This is my soliloquy.
- M.
Mar 21, 2018
Mar 21, 2018 at 3:55 AM UTC
What is the sweetest fruit?
It's the tall glass of strawberry lemonade
On a hot summers day
Her voice is the juice spilling through,
The nectar of which nurtures
***** to cheek- she fed me the lessons of life
Influenced by all that she is what a sensation,
The sweetest fruit is that of her love she bestowed.
What is the brightest light?
When we're roaming around headless
It's the North Star, guiding us in the night
The flash of a light at the end of
our very very long tunnel
She is the Rose that grows in the cracks of the streets, she is my Queen, she is my Creator
The Goddess that gave me breath--
The brightest star is the Sun that rests in the Sky
Shining and giving us vitamins that
we need to survive.
What is heartache?
It's when we're having a bad day and
we want to call her to vent
but she's not on the other end.
It's waking up every morning
Thinking she'll be there,
Staring into the ceiling with a heavy sorrow
Laying in our chest because life isn't fair.
It's 3 years gone by and there's days when we
can't help but feel like ending it all to be with her.
Heartache is the loss of a true Angel,
but having to live every day waiting
Its every year gathering for her birthday blowing out the candles in hopes to see her again.
- M.
Mar 21, 2018
Mar 21, 2018 at 3:38 AM UTC
The sky is on fire
Ascending from pits
What madness has taken over
Trapped in this hole
Paralyzed and blindfolded
Punished for makings of revolution
Actions have to be taken
Starve us until malnutrition
force feed your standpoint down our throats
Take away our platforms and signs
Mass shooting and talk of wars
Innocent lives go unprotected
Basic standard living situations
From people are selfishly taken
The greed creates a monster and a liar
In fact most voted for the devil in slight disguise
Taking money for the rich
I may keep quiet about this
And that is a part of the problem
But you cant shut down those who shout
Those who make sure they're voice is heard
Voices will rise
Our time is now
Dont be a part of the destruction
Of humanity and decency
Because right now, lives are at stake
And the sun is crashing down
Turmoil is right before our eyes
Cant you see?
The sky is on fire.
-M.
Mar 21, 2018
Mar 21, 2018 at 3:18 AM UTC
i feel like time is
s
l
i
p
p
i
n
g.
i feel like there is more i could have done yesterday.
i regret not kissing you enough yesterday,
because now i realize i can't tomorrow.
today i missed you,
it came in waves like water clashing against rocks.
yesterday i said "tomorrow you'll be okay."
and again i will tell myself, tomorrow.
yesterday wasn't as bad as today is or will be,
yesterday and tomorrow.
does it make a difference if i feel the same?
-j.p.
Feb 21, 2018
Feb 21, 2018 at 1:39 PM UTC
Floating, in the middle of sea--
Relaxed. Empty. Full. Weightless. Silence.
Vibrations fill my body
echoing bouncing quiety,
Thoughts floating in dead water
Swings clacking in the wind,
Cars breezing by passing speed limits
Children's laughter in the backgrounds of life
Vintage songs playing out in
the park courtyard--
In the middle of the city
On a new york island strip,
Crowds of voices and black noise
Bike bells ringing and cars whistling
An open breeze in bright air
Sunlight glazing my skin soaking in life,
Birds flapping their wings
Rabbits running through fields of weeds
Fingertips floating the air
Sunflowers moving in the wind
Bee's buzzin around
Hums of nature in the howling trees
Static and chaos
Silence in black n white
My heart is pounding, No--
its leaping out of my very chest
Could this be a dream?
My imagination must have the best of me
Creating a world of my own,
A limbo of which is my sole home..
I call this Somewhere In Between.
- M.
Jan 27, 2018
Jan 27, 2018 at 4:37 AM UTC
My body is numb, completely soulless,
The words in my head escaped
floating around cause i forgot to close it
I could've avoided this
Instead I'm stuck with my choices
These days all i do is deal with the
Consequences and repercussions
Hitting me twice as hard than in the moment,
What do you expect? I'm only human--
I enjoy a drink or two it's not a secret
I was drawn to you but i should've followed
The vibes i got from you the first day
Let **** pass because i didn't want to upset you
You pushed me away
Then try to keep me inside your pocket..
That's when i put myself first,
Gave myself happiness
I created it, i prayed for it, i worked for it,
i try my hardest to keep it..
And you roll around with lies to trap me
Inside your spider web,
You lean forward for a kiss
That's when i said no..
So quickly you apologized
I should've left should've never waited
Should've walked out that door
& never looked back
At least then i wouldn't feel these
knots Inside my abdomen ,
Creating an ulcer that's stressin me out
Dealin with you and your families harassment..
Every day you try to reach out
I don't want your words
I just want to be left alone
You hurt me in the worst way possible
I was a friend and you took advantage..
I can't escape you, and you're deliberately
Breaking me down more and more
Is this what happens when i say no?
Did i owe you some part of me?
Is that why you took it upon
Yourself to take it?
I just need some answers since
I'm the one stuck with this.
-M.
Jan 23, 2018
Jan 23, 2018 at 2:59 AM UTC
My mind wanders
Leaving a part of me behind, catching up doesn't seem
to stop- it's inevitable
Is has a life of it's own
Nothing seems to stop the constant hunger of wanting-
Wanting. Wanting it's own mind aside from I.
How is that even possible?
Clearly i am over thinking.
-M.
Jan 17, 2018
Jan 17, 2018 at 3:27 PM UTC
Mornings, when the light peeks through giving your face a heavenly glow
When we're getting dressed and
choosing our clothes
Walking in the park listening to the
laughter of children
And the chains of the swings creaking
Evenings, when the light of the sun comes to a low and we hear the hums of life weakening
The howling of the winds gusting
screaming but enduring it to embrace the
Christmas lights as they flicker and twinkle
Going to open mics and enjoying the feels,
Nights, sitting in booths eating, laughing,
talking, bonding making a fool of myself
Oh darling, I wanna spend an eternity with you.
- M.
Jan 6, 2018
Jan 6, 2018 at 8:40 PM UTC