#mistrust
Mistrust is currently the currency
of this world;
We are wandering in the wilderness
of inauthenticity —
Mar 2
Mar 2, 2026 at 3:18 PM UTC
It comes, it runs throughout this place
It covers, it hovers without a trace
And everything we once loved
We'll never again face
These castle walls were turned from bronze to rust
Shattered from the years of betrayal and mistrust
And the sands which one sparked our dreams
Are now only replaced by dust
Oct 2, 2024
Oct 2, 2024 at 8:07 PM UTC
Came I hither with all the gold possess'd,
Came I hither with all the wisdom gain'd,
Came I hither with all the truth and jest,
Beauty, health, kindness, luck, thou'd'st have complain'd
That I came hither with an underhand
Desire of something greater thus exchang'd,
Unable to conceive or understand
How one who offers free is not derang'd.
Came I hither with all the gold possess'd,
And came I bearing rubies and pearls, too,
Came I hither bearing all the rest
To thine own mortal self, still erring true;
Came I hither, and ask'd nothing, giving
All that I have, and more, and still I err,
For the Lord ask'd nothing of the living,
But sacrifice is matter of a cur.
Mistrusting as you do, with sense, I see,
Love's made not for this world, nor I for thee.
Feb 17, 2024
Feb 17, 2024 at 7:24 PM UTC
its the end of the old beginning of the new
but i can't pretend to walk through this new door without any residue
without any trace of you, or memories
starting a new project, transversing a new lane
i wish i was as sacrilegious and vain
as i used to be before i was beaten black and blue
until i encountered you and my confidence was rocked
until i encountered you and your mind games won’t stop
even after i have burned away every trace
even after i have burned away at the stake
you always find a way to worm your way into my peace
disrupt and unplug, mistrust and vengeance
but what really is love, i just crave revenge
Jan 10, 2022
Jan 10, 2022 at 8:20 AM UTC
Deep down
I was holding on tighter than I already knew I should.
Deep down
I was hoping that although it’s not forever now, maybe it would.
Deep down
I was praying that if you gave me the chance, I’d give you everything I could.
Deep down
I know I should’ve trusted my gut more.
Deep down
I know that I was just another girl for you to score.
Deep down
I know that I am broken to the core.
Nov 15, 2021
Nov 15, 2021 at 6:22 PM UTC
You've taken a step into dangerous territory
Unbeknownst to your wide, naïve eyes
You're heading into a deep abyss
Where only the lucky have survived
Before you proceed any further
I will give you this warning now
I'm utterly and dangerously fragile
And my patience is running out
My warning signs are on full display
For those who dare on this journey
Caution is written everywhere
So that I know you won't take this lightly
I see the longing looks you're giving
And I can tell you see me as a challenge
Your cockiness will lead to your missteps
A guarantee I experience irrevocable damage
You think you will treat me different
But I know you'll ignore the signs I carry
There's no easy way to let my guard down
When your intentions with me make me wary
You continue to walk into dangerous territory
Unbeknownst to your wide, naïve eyes
Foolishly, you jumped into the deep abyss
But you were not lucky enough to survive
May 18, 2021
May 18, 2021 at 1:49 PM UTC
Love is bitter from age and neglect
Chains to bear breaking my back
Eyes deceive, thoughts betray
Tongues lie, souls decay
Words, like fire, torture and burn
Fire is soothing, pain must be earned
Ears distrust like lifeblood flows
Time is unending, destructive, and slow
Jan 29, 2021
Jan 29, 2021 at 1:39 AM UTC
Shoved your foot in my
Doorway, and I'm the one left
Tripping over it
Jan 6, 2021
Jan 6, 2021 at 11:00 AM UTC
I was in my dreamland.
The safe place I had made,
In childhood, to keep myself.
Disturbed I barely woke.
Impaired I thought,
If I go back I'll wake,
It will be over and I won't remember.
I don't remember much.
It continued,
I felt more come off.
More words were spoken.
People, "She can take it, I asked."
No such question was answered,
From me at least.
My limp body positioned upward.
My place gone, coherence erupted.
I was screaming at me,
NO! Move do something.
A soft "no" was whispered, and I fell.
Fully exposed now, I walked.
"Are you ok?" "I'm going to take a shower."
The water softened my skin.
The door opened. "Could you not?"
"It doesn't matter. Does it."
Dec 1, 2020
Dec 1, 2020 at 7:03 PM UTC
The freezing cold dungeons,
The ruthless castle of thoughts
Darker than the darkness
That’s the way to her soul!
Don’t go too far, sweetheart,
Or you’ll get lost.
This is some oblivious maze
Carved with cements of mistrust.
Laying trapped here inside
Among the profanities you threw
Finding a way out from the aisles
Of tormented pain which you grew.
Could someone rescue her out?
Before the insides of inside get slaughtered.
The pain has been suffocating her
and now she's screeching for salvation!
Jul 17, 2020
Jul 17, 2020 at 11:53 AM UTC
I will pretend this day doesn't exist
Just like the person, it demands remembrance
But only in the locked ivory pages of my diary
The pain I have yet to unpack all come rushing back
The memories of you and the present lack
I cannot say you were an inspiration
I cannot say you taught me how to be a good man
I can say that behind my willowed face of pain
That I will always be apart of you but not in vain
I will take the gifts bestowed and continue to grow
Without you and let karma give you the seeds you sowed
All poisonous like the tainted water I had to grow in
Your toxicity within me so potent
Invaded my home unwillingly like a rodent
We supposed to be forever and always but your actions rendered you an opponent
I was hand-fed rage by your hard hands and I failed to notice.
Jun 21, 2020
Jun 21, 2020 at 10:19 AM UTC
There is no companion,
Only company.
There is no love but
They are lovely.
There is no curiosity to ask:
“What are your dreams?”
“Your secrets?”
“Your difficulties?”
There’s no desire to observe a legacy.
Maybe the protagonist is to blame.
Years were spent building
A foundation based on
Secrecy and mistrust
But I had no idea
People were happy and willing
To play along.
May 26, 2020
May 26, 2020 at 1:21 AM UTC
I had so much faith
that your hands
wouldn't drop me,
the same way
everyone else's
did.
But as i fell
through your
fingertips
I realised
you were
all the same.
May 25, 2020
May 25, 2020 at 7:15 AM UTC
scattered beauty, uncertain fate
a life of rage and sometimes hate
the longer he remains down there
he won't be daddy anymore
poems of addiction without fiction
as time is tickin', as time is tickin'
daddy become clean i wish you luck
can't you remember our last hug?
it's always the same with you pop
how can we count on you?
why have you given up?
why can't you be strong at last?
it doesn't matter if you surrender
as time is tickin', as time is tickin'
you won't have room or space left
frozen bank accounts and misery
we live in mistrust, daddy
can't you just be yourself again?
get rid of the mirrors and errors
we live in mistrust, daddy
May 2, 2020
May 2, 2020 at 5:38 PM UTC
how do you take down palisades
of mistrust and hurt and agony?
ear piercing cries;
of misplaced love and jealousy?
how do you forget mem'ries
of love and life and happiness
snapped out shut;
like a blinking bliss?
how can you, how can i
forget the metaphors i have carved?
out of you and words and tales
that's known by heart?
Apr 26, 2020
Apr 26, 2020 at 6:52 AM UTC
We decided to drive.
I sat in the back because, you told me you were a good driver.
I sat in the back because I trusted you.
I let my body hover over the seat, shivered as the cold metallic handle graced my hands.
You told me, I didn’t need to.
I didn’t need to wear the seat belt because we were so, so close to our destination even though I had no idea what that was,
I didn’t put my seatbelt on because you told me not to.
And as the green lights turned to yellows and reds
We kept driving
All along the same road
The roads turned from single lanes to four; 5 lanes to one
And I kept looking out the window
The little girl in the back seat
Trusting people is a privilege.
I remember your hollowed voice echoing through my ears as you turned the volume up
How you tried fighting over the bass, hoping you’d get your message across
And we drove
We drove past trees and the ocean; across canyons and we even tried driving over the moon, we would have done it if we could.
And I remember trusting your hands
How they moved over the steering wheel so gracefully
My mother always told me to be relaxed and to trust the driver, they have your best intentions and anyways I never liked fighting
So I decided not to fight
And as the sun said it’s final goodbyes and the last layers of light was stripped away
And like painting over walls in a new house
The stars crept in, but eerily
Your hands did not glide over the steering wheel anymore.
Not graciously, at least.
I sat in the back, all alone
I repeated in my head the vows, the trust, the desperation
I decided to hum along to the music, the music to drum out your ramblings
We drove for so long.
And your hands did not feel safe anymore.
I wanted to say stop.
I wanted to cry out in all that is holy-
I wanted to put my safety belt on
I wanted my mother
I wanted it all to end
After all, I never liked driving, and my trust was barely holding on, it was caving into itself as the trees tried breaking our windows.
Your feet slowly, daringly hit the gas
You turned the music up so you couldn’t hear my shouts, here my deficit crying
Even though nothing floated out of my mouth
Nothing came out, only tears
Only wonders and what ifs
And nervous air
You gambled with the breaks, decided it was never worth stopping
I remember crying in the back seat.
We had driven so far.
I was told good girls are quiet
You said you wanted the best for me
And so you hit the gas
And over the moon we drove
Over the biggest canyon we went
The trees carried us on our journey
And the glass broke the chains of every memory and thought one has
The glass broke the seat belt.
The glass broke my screams.
The glass broke me.
The glass cut itself.
Once you fell next to me,
You finally stopped
I never liked to fight.
I never liked to yell.
I never liked to be quiet either.
I never liked to scream.
But I always hated driving.
Mar 12, 2020
Mar 12, 2020 at 9:10 PM UTC
I forgot
how much
this hurts,
how as much
as happy
a special
someone can
make you, as
sad too.
Jan 20, 2020
Jan 20, 2020 at 1:49 AM UTC
i just wrote a letter to a good-hearted man.
it is night where i am right now.
while writing, i heard my father's steps.
he slowly approached me; mistrust in
his face.
he thought i would have done something
bad. i had not done so.
five minutes i spoke to him; i needed him to
believe me since i will travel to another city
later today.
i do not want to say "farewell" in disharmony.
yet, i am not disappointed or angry.
everyone acts weakly from time to time.
i forgive my father.
before going to bed i will talk to somebody
else.
somebody who is everywhere and always with me.
affectionately
mikey
Dec 16, 2019
Dec 16, 2019 at 7:03 PM UTC
He had to go
I dared him to, right here right now..
Or her ?
This would be my last stretch,
Before I grieved of a lost that still exists
I received flowers
It wasn’t my funerals
You’ll know you’re still alive
When you can taste the sweetness
Out of a burnt caramel
Now how far is her homeland?
I bet the roses there smell like snow
Picture a waterfall with a scenic view,
You’re standing by a beautiful girl
She’s glowing!
What a perfect moment!
It's Canada for goodness sake!
But you’re not ready,
You can only buy ONE ring.
If another tree is planted in the soil
Of your heart,
Why are you in Canada?
Jun 18, 2018
Jun 18, 2018 at 3:05 PM UTC
I want to trust, I want to believe
But I can't shake the feeling that it makes me naive
I hate to be laughed at, I avoid the crowds
My self-deprecation is already too loud
Multiple times my heart's been broken
Yet I still hand it out to others like a token
Of how much I love them and how much I care
But they take it and break it, it doesn't seem fair
Each time it happens, it's a new hole in my heart
What do I do with these feelings that tear me apart
They tell me hiding from others is no way to live
But I'm just trying to protect what little I've left to give
Jun 12, 2019
Jun 12, 2019 at 11:10 AM UTC